((Note from the uploader of this sinful thing: I feel like this is the chapter where this kind of... stops making sense. So I am going to do some explaining quickly. I've decided to keep the Hogwarts houses, simply because the terrible spelling makes them an important part of the story, but "Hogwarts" will always be changed to "Wammy's". Also, Linda's surname is "Tailor" because... Linda L. Tailor idk. We don't have a canon last name for her, so I just went with it. And I feel like this wasn't made very clear but in this garbage shitpost AU Mello's full name is Draco Mellofoy, and Mello is a nickname. ANYWAY here's the sin.))

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do de prep!

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Everyone in the class stared at me and then Mello came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

"Near, it's not what you think!" Mello screamed sadly.

My friend L'inda Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long wate-length kawaii blond hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Linda was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Beyond Birthday killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Tailor. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Rester demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Mello, I can't believe you cheated on me with Matt!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don't know why Near was so mad at me. I had went out with Matt (I'm bi and so is Ebonear) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Yuri, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

"But I'm not going out with Mello anymore!" said Matt.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you minor character who dies after 2 minutes of screentime!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Yellow Box Warehouse where I had lost my virility to Mello and then I started to bust into tears.