When it all falls apart

Chapter Five

Derek takes a moment to just… breathe when Scott and Melissa take Laura with them to the supermarket.

Boyd and Isaac will be getting to his place soon, and he needs a moment to himself.

He hasn't really had many of those ever since Laura came along, and he doesn't complain about it, not ever. When Nicole left, Laura wasn't even a full month old, and he spent many a night awake with her – feeding her, changing her, making sure she wasn't hungry or cold or thirsty.

Sometimes he actually just stood beside her crib, watching her breathe, because she was so small and so fragile.

Every time he even started to think about how tired he was or how much he wanted to just have one night, just one full night's sleep, he'd remember how long he wished he could have a family again, someone of his blood he could love and trust and take care of, and felt immediately guilty for thinking he was tired.

Laura was everything to him, he'd live for her alone if she so needed it, and he didn't mind that one bit, but going to school had… changed her.

He knew things would change the older she grew, but now it's just so strange, picking her up at school, hearing her chatting all the way home about her classmates, how Kyle cried, and how Emily has stupid hair, or how Mr. Styls apparently hung the moon and the stars – literally, on the ceiling of their classroom – and how Kate was so nice and great her bestest friend.

She would talk about the library at school, and the things she learned in class and so many people Derek didn't know – little people, sure, but a whole world that was hers and hers alone. He didn't know her classmates as she did, he would never, actually, because they were hers, and that had never happened before.

Laura was… a person. An independent, smart, sly little person. And while he knew that before, they were so used to their own little world at the edge of the preserve that it didn't make a difference, but now… Laura was becoming her own little person, all by herself, and it was driving Derek insane with worry.

He needs to talk to someone about it, he knows, but his options are rather limited right now – who's he going to talk to? Scott, whose father abandoned him, and whose mother worked so hard to get food on the table there had been days she hadn't even seen him at all when he was growing up? Boyd, with the family who blamed him for not taking care of his little sister when he himself was a kid still? Melissa, who, for all her great assets, still worked for too long and too hard? Isaac?

So he sighs, and starts getting things ready for dinner, which they are cooking for once, because Laura asked for mac and cheese, and that they can actually manage, and greets Boyd, who shows up a few minutes before Isaac.

It's not that dire a situation, anyway.

He'll live if he doesn't talk to anyone. They'll be okay – he just needs to adjust a bit.

By the time everyone is back, Laura contently watching The Little Mermaid in the living room as they cook and set the table, Derek manages to look fine as ever.

They sit to eat, Laura says she wants to eat in front of the TV, and while Derek usually doesn't allow that, today he does. He has reasons too.

"So… Stiles asked to talk to me on Monday, after school" he announces, and Scott drops his fork on his plate, startled.

"We… huh… ran into him now, at the store."

"Did he say anything to you?" he asks, because Scott looks shifty, like he did for months when Allison left them.

"No. Just… talked to Laura. She seems to like him a lot" Melissa answers, and Derek shakes his head.

"I keep expecting her to tell me she wants to live with him instead of me, but that's not what… He asked to talk to me because, well, Jackson and Lydia are moving back" he waits a few seconds, seeing as the piece of news settles with the rest of his pack, "Apparently, this was always their plan, to come back to Beacon Hills, but with Danny's death, and Stiles moving here last year, they decided to come back too. He wanted me to know, so we wouldn't be taken by surprise."

"If Jackson hasn't caused any trouble all this time in Portland, I doubt he will now. It's nice of them to let you know, though" Isaac comments, looking around the table.

Boyd doesn't say anything, but, really, it's not as if this affects him a whole lot, seeing as none of the three of them were really his friends – by the time he was fully integrated with the pack, they weren't really a part of it anymore.

Scott is looking down, and Derek knows there's something bothering him – he also knows he won't talk about it until he's ready, and maybe not even then. Isaac seems accepting of it, calmly and steadily, as he takes in most things in life; and Melissa just looks worried about Scott.

To be honest, Derek is a bit too, but there really isn't much he can do for him – Scott made his choice a long time ago, and he has to live with it, or work to change the consequences of what he's done.

There's very little talk as they get things tidy up, and soon the pack is leaving, and Derek is putting Laura in the shower and then in bed.

He thinks he has things under control, except, well, except everything kind of goes to hell on Friday.

Kate Tinsdale is Laura's best friend, and her parents kind of trap him on Friday, on his way to his car with Laura on his arm, and ask for a sleepover.

At their place.

The very next night.

His eyes widen a bit, and he tells them Laura never slept out of the house before, but they keep saying how it'll be great for the girls, and how much they'll love it, and they give him their address and phone number and Laura looks as if she might either cry or try to eat him of he says no, and he doesn't want to be one of those crazy parents who never let their kids do anything fun because they are too afraid – he can't be afraid of letting his daughter have a sleepover with her best friend, especially because Kate is her first friend.

So he says he'll think about it, and then he calls Melissa, and she tells him it's a good thing, and mentions that Scott used to sleepover at Stiles all the time.

So he says yes.

On Saturday, at six, the Tinsdale family opens the door for him and Laura and her bright yellow backpack, and she doesn't even say goodbye because Kate is squealing in happiness and dragging Laura in to show her her Monster High collection.

Her parents take pity on him, tell him he should enjoy his night off, and he leaves, feeling… weird.

Sad, maybe? Alone? Lonely?

He doesn't even know.

When nine o'clock comes by, he's driving himself insane in the house, and he needs some sort of reassurance that this is going to be okay, that Laura is okay, and he needs someone who actually knows Laura to do it.

So he grabs his keys and, trying very hard not to think on it, because if he does he'll give up, he leaves.

X

Stiles is home Saturday night because that's… what he does now.

The night before, he had dinner with Lydia, Jackson, his dad and Vanessa, and things were calm and okay, but when they left, he just knew there was something missing.

That – the dinners – it was something they used to do every single time he was in town with Danny and the others. They'd gather in one of their parents' houses, and cook and have fun, but now it was like something was missing.

Something was going on with his dad and Vanessa too, and he didn't want to pry, but it was worrying him a lot.

Lydia and Jackson had arrived on Thursday, looking for houses and such, and left Saturday morning, because they had things to do back in Portland.

So Stiles is home, in pajama bottoms and an old Hulk T-shirt, because they are on an Farm Animal's unit in class, and they are going to make Farm Animals this week, but they'll need a farm to put the animals in, so he's now painting a quite big piece of Styrofoam, which is covered in fake grass, and is now getting a fake, painted on little lake, and then which he'll add some small fences and the farm house.

The whole apartment will smell like glue and paint by the end of the night, but he doesn't really mind.

When his doorbell rings at nine-thirty, though, he's officially worried, because not many people come to his place – his dad and Lydia or Jackson when they are in town, but that's it.

He opens the door and actually takes a step back when he sees Derek standing there, looking desperate – and, man, does that take him back to his teens or what.

"Derek?" he asks, not really knowing what to do, and the man wriggles his hands twice before taking in a deep breath.

"I really didn't want to bother you, but Laura is in a sleepover at Kate's place and I'm freaking out" he says in a rush and Stiles has to contain the urge to laugh.

"O-kay" he says slowly, "Come in?" he asks more than invites, but Derek does come in, taking deep breaths all the way, "Do you want something to drink? Water, coffee… chamomile tea?"

"I… I really don't want to bother you, I swear this wasn't my plan at all, but I just need to hear that it'll be okay. She's never slept out before, and she didn't even say goodbye to me when I dropped her off and… fuck, did the kid's name have to be Kate?" he ends up saying, looking like he's surprising himself with that last one, and Stiles takes a deep breath himself, because up until now, it hadn't occurred to him that Kate would be a pretty unpopular name among the Hales.

"Okay, you need to calm down" he says, walking to the kitchen, "Take a seat, I'm making you some tea."

Derek sits down, looking awkward and uncomfortable.

"I really didn't mean to spoil your night, it's just… no one seems to know her quite well right now, and I know it's probably just me being crazy, but…"

"But she's your baby. Your only kid, and the most important person in your world, and you just saw her leave you for the first time without a care in the world, as if you didn't matter" he completes, and Derek doesn't respond, just keeps breathing in and out. Stiles smiles softly at it, "It's okay to freak out. I bet Kate's parents orchestrated the whole sleepover thing at their place because they would be freaking out too."

"I should've thought of that" Derek says softly, as if he's angry at himself, and Stiles laughs at that.

"No need to worry about it now, I'm sure you'll have a lot of sleepovers in your future, it's what kids do."

"So, you think it'll be okay?"

"I know it'll be okay, because you have an amazing kid, and Kate is smitten with her. I think she didn't have many friends before school either. She and Laura really get along, and her parents are good people. They'll be fine, Derek" he reassures the man, putting a mug of tea in front of him.

The Alpha takes the mug in his hands and takes a sip, even though it's burning hot.

Stiles sits down across from him, and waits.

It's not as if a parents hasn't looked for him in a bit of desperation before, just not… like this.

With the parent being, you know, an Alpha werewolf from a pack he abandoned years ago.

"The name thing freaks me out" Derek tells him a few minutes later, looking down, "I didn't even bring it up with anyone else, because it wouldn't do any good, I don't think Boyd and Isaac even know about the whole thing. But it freaks me out hearing her say that she loves Kate. It's…" he doesn't finish the sentence, and shakes his head.

Stiles winces in sympathy, and tries to find something to say to that, but he doesn't think he can.

When your daughter is best friends with someone who has the same name as the person who burned your whole family down, what do you even say to that person?

"Sometimes, when she gets home from school, it's like she's a whole different person, you know?" Derek continues, looking up at Stiles with a small smile, "The day you hung the moon on the ceiling, I thought she was going to ask to let you adopt her."

"Well, I did hang the moon" Stiles tells him with a smile, "She talks about you all the time, though. To Kate and Kyle, who seems to be slowly attaching himself to Laura. She's an amazing kid, Derek, and she loves you like nothing else. She's your world, and you are hers, there's nothing to fear from it."

"It's just… I'm just… me. The one parent she has, with some weird uncles and aunts, but just us. I keep thinking that someday, someone is going to point out how weird we all are, and she's going to get hurt."

"I think this is not what you want to hear, but, Derek, kids get hurt all the time. Physically and emotionally, they get hurt, but they heal, and they get better for it, if they have a loving family behind them, and Laura does, doesn't she?" Derek nods at that, "So you have nothing to be afraid of. She'll be okay. You'll be okay too."

Derek drinks the rest of his tea and sighs.

"Thank you. I mean, I know you don't like to keep in touch with any of us, but…"

"You're not the first parent to freak out and come looking for me, nor will you be the last. And… it's not like I've been avoiding you or anything" he answers defensively.

"Stiles, you've been living in Beacon Hills for over a year, and I see you at school. That's all."

"That's because I really don't get out all that much. I don't… feel like it."

She shrugs when he says that, and Derek swallows hard, understanding what he means.

"Plus, it's not like I see you all around either. I haven't seen Allison or her dad or Erica or Boyd. I see Isaac sometimes, and I ran into Scott and Melissa at the store this week."

"Boyd works a lot" Derek starts, hesitantly, as if he's not sure it's okay to talk about his pack with Stiles, "Erica is married to an Alpha. She hasn't lived here for a few years now, but she keeps in touch. She's very happy."

"She deserves it" he comments, because it's true. After all the crap she suffered in High School, even before turning into a werewolf, she deserves to have a nice life.

"Allison left before Laura was even born" Stiles can swear his heart stops beating for a second when he hears that, "When things settled down here, her dad started to travel again, looking for hunts, and after a few years of that, he decided to just leave, knowing Beacon Hills was safe again. She went with him. We haven't heard from her since."

"God" he whispers, almost involuntarily, because while he knew Allison would end up being trouble for that pack, he didn't expect her to leave Scott.

"We were expecting it, really. It still shook Scott up pretty badly."

Stiles looks down at that, because he doesn't really know what to say.

"I should go" Derek says, getting up, "I'm sorry for freaking out on you."

"It's okay, Derek. I'm here if you need anything."

Derek stares at him for a moment when he says that, before smiling.

"Thank you."

He leaves, and Stiles closes the door, thinking how weird that just was.

He refuses to think on how comfortable he feels around Derek, though.

No, sir, that's a path he's not going down on, because that way lays madness.

X

It's just a little over eight when Derek goes to pick Laura up from the Tinsdales and, while she looks like she had a blast the night before, the way she hugs him tightly and refuses to be put down even to say goodbye eases something within him.

Yeah, she'll have her own little things, but she'll always be his, right?

Right.

X

Stiles is a bit disoriented when he wakes up at nine on Sunday because both his doorbell and his cellphone are ringing.

Sure, he always tries to show up for Sunday lunch at a reasonable hour, but he works very hard all week, the least people could do is let him sleep in the one day he tries to do it.

His cell shows it's his dad calling, so he answers that first, getting to his feet unsteadily – he's never been good with mornings.

"Dad?"

"Stiles, open the door."

Confused, he hangs up and goes to the door, opening and staring at his dad, who's fully dressed and has his hands full of bags of food.

"What the hell?" he mutters, inviting his dad in with a gesture.

"Sorry for waking you up on a Sunday, it's just that, well, we need to talk."

"Okay… but couldn't it wait? I'm heading over to your place in, like, two hours."

His dad sighs, puts the bags on the kitchen table and starts to take breakfast out of them, pushing a Styrofoam cup of coffee in Stiles's hands, as he too takes a seat.

"It has something to do with that too, so…"

His dad is quiet, and Stiles is getting worried.

"Did something happen? Is Vanessa okay?"

"That" his dad starts with a rueful smile, "is up to debate, and kind of the point of us having this whole conversation. I think… I think me and Vanessa are getting divorced."

To say Stiles is taken aback is kind of the understatement of the century, because he almost chokes on his coffee he's so shocked.

"What? How?! I didn't even know you guys were having problems!"

John shrugs, picking up a muffin and setting it in front of Stiles before taking one for himself.

"Apparently that is the problem."

"What is?"

John shrugs again.

"The us not having… trouble. Emotion. Excitement. I pay too much attention to work and too little at home. And when I'm home, now I'm always looking for a way to bring, well, you in. She thinks we don't act like a real couple anymore, and that I'm not good at the talking part of the relationship, and… she asked me to spend the day out today, so she could pack her things for a few days out, to clear her head."

"I'm… I don't even know what to say."

"I don't think there's anything to say. Most of what she said was true, and I'm not… I'm okay with her leaving. It's not that I don't think Vanessa is amazing, because she is, but it's not the end of the world."

"But this is so sudden."

Stiles has to take just one look at his dad's face to know that no, it isn't sudden at all.

"How long has this thing been going on?"

"A few months. She wasn't really happy with things even before… you know. But then you moved back, and really I was focusing on making you feel at home and comforted, and it took kind of a second place, and I never really thought about bringing it back, until a few weeks ago when we talked, and now… I think she's leaving."

Stiles just stares at his dad for a long moment, taking it all in.

He seems really calm for a guy who is divorcing his wife.

To tell the truth, Stiles doesn't really know Vanessa all that well anyway – when his dad met her he was in college, and wrapped up in his new life with his new friends. Sure, he came to their wedding and they talked some when he was home, but he didn't really stay home for the whole summer, not even once, while at college, and after that, he had officially moved in with Danny, and they had their own place.

She seemed nice enough, if a bit self-centered sometimes, but his dad seemed happy – apparently not so much, though.

"Are you really okay?" he asks, frowning, and the Sheriff smiles at him, raising a hand and messing with Stiles's hair like he used to when he was a kid.

"I'll be just fine."

Stiles nods at him, and they spend the day quietly, watching some TV and eating junk food, for which Stiles doesn't even reprimand his dad, for once.

It's almost eight when John gets a text from Vanessa telling him she's already on her way to her sister's house, a few towns over, and he says goodbye to his dad, telling him to call if he needs anything.

They hug tightly, and then the Sheriff goes away, leaving Stiles to pick up their mess.

He barely has time to put away the pizza box and paper napkins when his doorbell rings again, and he stares at the door incredulously.

What is it with this weekend?!

He opens the door and takes an involuntary step back when he sees who's there.

"Can we talk?"