A/n: Wow. I wasn't expecting such lovely reviews, thank you!
just reminding you this story is M so it will have adult themed content in it, I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it :) let me know what you think!
Stefan
I finally glance at the paper the captain's wife left me hours later. After I'm done sorting through all the drugs, making sure I have enough for the week. I glance at the ink blotted name and phone number. I can barely read it, for being as rich as she was you think she
would have invested in some writing lessons. When she came over to the loft I noticed how uncomfortable she was around me, it was laughable. I actually thought she was just a student looking for a kick for her next exam. But when I saw the name on her form. I couldn't believe she was the captain's wife, looking for drugs, must be a tough appearance to keep up. That's why when I grabbed my phone confused by her address I texted her, she replied minutes later. I couldn't deny she was gorgeous, with her long brown hair, brown eyes, her little yoga pants she was wearing made my heart beat pick up. She seemed like a happy girl, but with an addiction.
I wonder if her husband knew she took these meds, but then I stop myself, why did I care she was just another source of money, and I didn't want her to stop coming to me. I had a drug business to run and I heard from the streets that the south side of the other part of town was going to kick my ass from stealing their customers. I smirk, they couldn't touch me, I wasn't even worried. I read the reply to Elena's text and write a quick okay, setting my phone down. I couldn't deny my attraction to her, she was hot, but older and she had a son and she's married.
But damn, I would tear that ass up if I could but I know she'd never go for
me, she seemed to have morals. Which was good, I was already fucked up beyond repair.
I sit down on my couch, grateful Damon hasn't made an appearance again I didn't need his shit.
Elena doesn't reply and I sigh in disappointment, but then I stop myself, feeling like an idiot.
I decide to get up from my couch and do something productive to keep my mind off things I head up to the attic of the loft, I climb the stairs and get into the dusty wooden attic. Where I kept my punching bag and other sparring items.
I was really into kick boxing when I was in high school, I loved the adrenaline and release I got from it, better then from the feeling I get from the drugs.
I grab my sparring gloves and put them on, heading to the black punching bag. I like it all here because it's dark and a nice thinking place. I bounce on the balls of my feet, and start hitting the huge punching bag, it swings back and forth as I bounce, hitting it again. Twenty minutes
later I feel a sweat breaking on my forehead as the sweat pours down my face, but I keep adding kicks and punches to the bag, feeling the adrenaline from it.
I stop, trying to catch my breath as I huff from frustration. Honestly I couldn't get Elena out of my head this was going to be a problem.
I rush back downstairs and grab a towel wiping the sweat from my head, my hand is kinda of bruised but I don't care I embrace the pain. I check my phone and see a customer has texted me.
It must be half past 7 because I see the sun setting out the window. The customer texts me to meet them at the Mystic Grill. I shed of my shirt and shower quickly, putting a towel around my waist. I feel my stomach grumble and I realize I hadn't ate anything today, good thing we were meeting at the grill. I throw on a black shirt and jeans, putting my leather jacket on.
I grab the motorcycle helmet from my counter and my phone, turning off all the lights and closing the loft door, locking it.
Let's go meet this dude I think as I straddle my motorcycle in the garage, I ride off into the black night, not sure what it had in store for me. I park in the parking lot and take my motorcycle
helmet off, checking out some girls that just walked into the bar. I loved the south, girls barely wore clothing, it was too hot. I chuckle to myself and lock my motorcycle, walking off into the direction of the grill. I look around for my customer and don't see him. So I sit at the bar, ordering the regular burger. I look around and my breath catches in my throat. I see Elena, with her,
I'm assuming is her son. She's laughing and talking to her son and she looks great, her brown hair down and curly around her shoulders, I notice she is wearing a simple black dress and cardigan, and I can't help myself to stare. She looks really beautiful tonight. Not in a rush like when I last saw her. She smiles at her son and then I see a tall man approaching them, I see
it's the captain, Matt Donavan. He's still in his police uniform and he smiles down at her, I feel a pang of jealousy rush through me as they kiss, I turn my back and see my food had arrived without knowing. I needed to get over this little feeling I had I couldn't afford feelings
at this point in my life, they were a waste of my time. I notice a blonde checking me out in the corner of the bar, her martini untouched, she bites her lip and looks away. I smirk and pick at my burger, keeping my eyes on her. She's not bad, she's a wearing short shorts and a tank top, her curly hair down her back. I see she's reading a college text book.
Perfect my age group.
I see her take her drink and walk over to me, she's got a nice figure. She slides into the space next to me.
"You looked a little lonely." She purrs, leaning closer.
"You have no idea." I say, popping a french fry in my mouth.
She touches my chest and I don't feel anything.
"Wanna get outta here?" She asks, smiling seductively at me.
"Hmm. In a minute." I say, kind of turned off with her eagerness. I was always delighted with a chase. I guess that's why Elena was so attractive to me. She didn't seem that interested in me at the loft, but I'm sure I could spark her interest.
I curse under my breath why am I thinking of her again. She starts to sink back in her seat but I grab her wrist, pressing it to my chest. Her cheeks are flushed as she bites her lip.
I stare into her blue eyes, still not feeling a connection.
"Soon." I confirm, and she smiles at me, leaning closer to me.
"Are you sure your willing to play with some fire, baby?" I ask, my hand trailing up her ass.
"Hmm. I'm sure I can handle you." She teases and I smirk.
"Whatever you say, princess."
Suddenly I get a text to meet the guy in the bathroom.
"Business then pleasure." I whisper, pressing my lips against hers, I tease
her lips with my teeth, grazing them.
She moans and I pull back, winking at her.
I pass by Elena's table and she actually makes eye contact with me, and then looks away again.
I chuckle and watch as her husband looks at me, I hurry up and get to the bathroom, eager to get back to the girl.
Me and the guy trade off and I take a look in the mirror, wanting to fix myself before I got back to the girl. It was clear I'd be getting some, she was putty in my hands, practically throwing herself at me and I wasn't complaining it had been too long.
Still, when Elena looked at me I couldn't read her expression. It is probably better if she hates me anyways. I can't be having these feelings or whatever they are for her.
I make my way back to the blonde, not surprised she's still waiting there.
I sit down next to her.
"Ready?" She says, her hand on my thigh, a smile on her lips.
I nod, and get out of the stool grabbing my bike helmet
She talks about herself the whole ride to the loft. I find out she goes to the college down the street and her name is Carly. We get to the loft and I invite her inside, rolling up some weed for her and I.
She takes the joint and stares at me. "I never smoked before." She says, smiling and I wave my hand at her. "I'll teach you." I say, making our joint and throwing my arm around her so
shes close to me. I watch in her amazement as she ogles at the joint and I feel myself getting turned off again, I did like teaching people new things but not when they acted like this. I try not to roll my eyes as I put the joint in my mouth, wetting it between my lips.
I grab the lighter off the counter and light it up, watching her eyes sparkle at the lit up joint. I take a hit and lean back closing my eyes, I exhale, and look at her, she slowly grabs the joint, but I stop her.
"Ever shot gun before?" I give her my best Cheshire cat smile and she laughs, shaking her head.
"Alright, this is what you go, open your mouth." She does and I look at her before taking the hit, I lean closer to her pink lips, and close my eyes, blowing the smoke in her mouth. I hear her lungs inhale as she coughs a
little and that's when I know she got a good hit. She giggles at me and after we finish the joint we soon we're making out on the couch and it feels so different and right, my hands down her waist,
rolling her denim shorts between my fingers. She moans and presses butterfly kisses to my neck, they barely make an effect on me as I slide off her shorts, pushing her back on the couch.
She giggles and wraps her legs around my waist, I lean down and kiss her passionately, her body melting into mine.
She tastes good, I'll give her that and her skin feels great against mine. She moans my name and I smirk against her neck, dipping my fingers into her
panties.
She squirms under me in pleasure and soon I see her hair fall off the couch
and it's not blonde, it's brown.
I thrust my fingers into her hard and her body jerks under me, making me just want to go harder.
I slowly look up and see Elena under me, my fingers in her slit, working
their way deeper inside of her as she throws her head back, I feel her
wetness in between her thighs and everything is so right as the room
spins, as I enter her, she moans, her face twisted in pleasure, her nails
digging into my shoulder, I increase my pace, and feel the whole couch
rocking against me. But I don't care.
Why are you thinking about her? I ask my mind as I lean my sweaty forehead
against her shoulder and she comes, her nails releasing from my shoulder. I
look down and see blue eyes instead of brown.
I instantly get angry because of the lust inside me. I begin to start my
pace up again and she throws her head back, telling me how to do my job. I
roll my eyes and pretty soon I meet my end also, I pull out, panting, my
body sweaty as she heaves next to me.
"Fuck." I mutter and close my eyes, running my hand through my hair.
"Hmm." She purrs, leaning over me, she presses kisses over my chest.
I close my eyes, not really into the sex, but it didn't hurt not to be
alone.
So I allow her to sink on top of me, and she feels good inside, but her
personality was a turn off for me I tell myself, denying the real reason I
wasn't into her.
I was into the captain's wife and I'm fucked for it.
We continue to fuck through out the night until we're too tired and I roll
over, trying to catch some sleep. I hear her sneak out in the middle of the
night as I wake up from my dream.
I'm glad she wasn't the attached type but I look over and see she left a
rather long note. I groan and sit up, taking the note, but I'm too tired to
read it so I lay back down closing my eyes.
Suddenly I get a text from that my weed customer, Caroline I think her name
was.
"Hey, I can't make it today, so I'm sending my friend, Elena to pick up my
supply, hope it's okay!"
I smirk, setting the phone down.
It was going to be more then okay.
It was going to be great.
Elena
I toss in turn as quietly as I can in bed, my
thoughts drift back to the grill, tonight. The way Stefan was touching that
girl, it sent shivers down my spine. When we made eye contact, I tried my
best to look away, act like I didn't know him but when he smirked at me I
knew I lost that war to begin with. I allowed myself a glance, taking in
his messy hair, the girl's lipstick pressed against his neck, his white
shirt and black leather jacket, he looked too good standing there and I
felt that familiar rush go through me as he walked away.
Matt had looked at me but I hurried up and busied myself with Jackson,
telling him to finish his food. I felt extremely guilty, but Matt didn't
say anything to me, but I could tell he wasn't happy.
I glance over at him and see him sleeping, his
breathing low as I slip out of bed, heading to the bathroom.
I walk on the tiled floor to the mirror, turning on the faucet sink, I
shut the door quietly and wet my face, looking into the mirror, I see my
eyes are completely open, my hands start to shake as I wet my face again,
enjoying the calm it's giving me.
But then my mind floats back to Stefan, I bite my lip, and close my eyes,
the lust begins to take over. Caroline's words echo in my mind.
"It's not selfish to act on your desires." But I shake my head, this sexual
frustration was beginning to be too much for me to handle. I needed a
release.
I blush thinking about what I can do. I never done it before, I never felt
like I had to.
I make sure the faucet is on as I get into our tub, removing my soaked
panties. I take a deep breath as I throw them across the room. I'm not
really sure where to start, so I think about past times Matt had done this
to me.
I take another deep breath and close my eyes, I
slide my hand down to my wet entrance, slowly inserting a finger into the
wetness.
My breath hitches in my throat at the sensation this is giving me, I feel
my walls clench around my finger, I slowly start moving in and out, my
deep breaths become shallow moans as I lean my head back against the marble
tub.
I feel heat pool from my stomach to between my thighs as I slowly insert
another finger, the pressure makes me moan louder as I being to rub the
little nub that is sensitive. I feel myself close as I continue to thrust
in myself, while applying pressure to my nub.
"Oh my god." I moan, biting my lip as I open my eyes a little bit, I see
Stefan's blonde hair and green eyes staring at me intently I know it's a
dream, I'm still at high from my Valium. I feel my skin shudder as I
come down the tub, my breathing heavy as I close my legs.
This wasn't enough, that was a sure thing.
I knew I was just going to want more.
Eventually I was going to have to talk to Matt, ask
him why we never seem to be connected anymore.
I quickly wash away evidence of my sin and take another shaky breath,
calming myself down.
I slip out of the bathroom and back into bed, where I feel exhaustion begin
to take over. I close my eyes and feel myself slowly drifting from the
world.
"Your husband is gonna shoot me with his gun?" I hear his dark voice in the
back of my mind, suddenly I am transported into his loft again, he's
wearing the same long slung sweat pants and he's also shirtless again.
I watch as his green eyes drift down my black dress, the same one I wore
tonight to the grill.
"He might." I reply and he smirks, pulling me closer by the hem of my
dress.
"No, Stefan, we can'.t" I whisper, my hand on his chest, trying to push him
away but all I can think about is how hard and warm it feels against my
palm.
"I won't tell if you don't." He whispers, his eyes on mine, I feel the
goosebumps prick my arms as he stares at me deeply.
"No." I say again, turning my back towards him, I almost jump when he moves
closer to me, his hands resting on the curve of my spine.
I can still feel them against my hot skin and through the material of my
thin dress.
"You're so tense, Elena." He whispers, pulling me back towards him, he
starts massaging my shoulders and I can't help the moan to escape my
lips.
"S-stop." I finally find my voice but he starts peppering my neck with tiny
kisses. I feel the heat in between my thighs, as I bite my lip, leaning my
head against his shoulder.
"You don't want me to stop." He whispers into my ear as I hear the zipper
on my dress slide down, he slides the straps down halfway, kissing my
shoulder, his tongue darts out in between his lips, wetting my shoulder as
his free hand rubs gently down my stomach.
My breath hitches in my throat as he bites my shoulder, sending butterflies
down my stomach.
Suddenly I am being shaken awake, I sit up to see my son, standing there,
his blue eyes showing concern.
"Mommy, are you okay?" He asks, sitting down next to me.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I give him my best reassuring smile, ruffling his hair.
"Go get ready for school." I say, and when he leaves I sigh in relief, my
face sweating as I run my fingers through my hair.
Suddenly my phone beeps and I take a look at it.
"Hey can't pick up my supply today so I'm going to need you to hand to
Stefan's today at some point. I'm sorry.
Xoxo
Caroline.
I groan in fear as I lay my head back on the pillow.
There was no other way to think it.
I was fucked.
I quickly get out of bed and throw on my robe, cursing when I realize I don't have any panties on, I'm glad my blanket was covering myself.
My face heats up from thinking about what I did last night in the bath tub.
I sigh escapes my lips and I go to the bathroom, starting the shower, I take my time in there, but try not to over think things as I clean myself up from last night.
I'm out in five minutes and I run a brush through my long brown wet hair, looking in the mirror.
"What's wrong with you?" I whisper to myself and grab the pill bottle from the cabinet, dry swallowing two pills, just to keep my anxiety at bay.
I wrap my towel around my body, stepping out of the bathroom.
"Mom, we're gonna be late!" Jackson yells, and I quickly find my bra and panties, throwing them on. I decide to wear a summer dress, but I dress professionally as I throw on my large cardigan, looking in the mirror.
"I'll be right there, sweetie!" I yell, throwing my wet hair into a messy bun, I fix my makeup to how I like it and grab some flip flops from my closet.
When I get back to the living room, Jackson is waiting, his black book bag in hand.
"Alright, let's go." I smile, and ruffle his hair, walking to the counter to grab an apple on the way.
He races me to the car and I lock up everything, grabbing my keys.
My stomach in knots over Caroline's pick up today.
I scold myself, shaking away these thoughts, I was just picking up weed, nothing was going to happen.
I start the car and drive down the street, Jackson sits in the passenger seat, his headphones on as he looks out the window.
I feel a stab of sadness in my heart as I look over at him, he was growing up way too fast.
I drive him to school, parking in the parking lot, he looks over and smiles at me, his blue eyes sparkling from emotion.
"Bye mom." He says, leaning over and kissing my cheek, and I feel my heart go warm in my chest, even if everything was falling apart, Jackson always made it better.
"Bye, Jackson." I say, ruffling his hair and before he leaves I make sure he as everything, saying a mental check list out loud. He rolls his blue eyes but smiles anyways, nodding.
I smile and roll the window up, watching him wave at me before walking to his classroom.
I feel the sadness erupt in my chest again, it wasn't fair Matt and I weren't being the best parents for him, we weren't even trying to work out our problems, maybe we should.
I make a mental list to check in with our usual counselor, Dr. Bennett, she was a phenomenal listener and was very patient with us as we addressed all of our concerns last time. I look into the rear view mirror and pack out of the parking lot, I decide to get some breakfast at Dunkin Donuts, to calm my aching nerves, even though I had a slight buzz from the pills I had taken this morning. I look down and see the red apple in my lap, oh yeah, I forgot I had that, I mentally smack my forehead and raise it to my lips, biting into it.
I text Matt a quick hello and drive off in the direction of Stefan.
I was just going to go in there, grab the weed, give him the money and get back out, there was going to be no need for small talk, or anything.
This was a drug deal not a counselors session.
Matt texts me back a hey, baby and I smile, and tell him that we need to talk tonight.
He replies: Am I in trouble?
No, I am, I think, biting my lip as I see I'm already parked in Stefan's little drive way, I see the motorcycle there, and I laugh at the cliche, tucking the money into my cardigan's pocket.
I quickly text Matt a no and get out of the car, walking up the stairs to the metal door.
I knock loudly, hoping to God he's not home.
Suddenly a boy who looks like he's about fifteen comes out, his face red, and his fists clenched at his sides.
"Whatever man, you're whack." He says in his small voice and bounces off the stairs, not even looking at me.
I watch as he leaves, cursing under his breath.
"Hit the road and don't come back." He says in a gruff voice I finally turn my head to meet his eyes, their clouded with pain, I can see it. The way his breathing is becoming deeper, he's angry about something.
He's still staring at me intently, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Stefan is actually wearing a shirt today which makes things a lot easier, it's green and it brings out the forest color in his eyes, he has on black pants and a New York Yankee's baseball cap almost covering his eyes. His eyes drift towards my body, and I watch as his gaze settles on the cut line of my dress, I instantly feel self-conscious and fold my arms over my chest.
"What was that about?" I ask, my voice kind of high-pitched at his lust filled gaze with me, I feel my cheeks flush again, suddenly on cue, Stefan just turns away, walking inside, I follow him.
"Hey." I say, looking at him, trying again.
He looks at me, his eyes cloudy with emotion I can't read, his hands are balled up at fists at his sides, he turns away, bending down and shifting through the box for Caroline's order I assume.
"Why did you do that?" I find myself asking out his curiosity, he can barely meet my eyes before he turns around, shifting through the box again.
"It'll get me in trouble with your husband" He replies and I nod my head, crossing my arms over my chest.
"But you're expression... you seemed.. sad." I say, looking at him but he turns right around, avoiding my gaze.
"Concerned." I correct myself, watching as he finds the weed, he comes over to me, staring at me again, his expression seems uninterested for this conversation, but I can make out pain in his face.
"Just because I'm a drug dealer doesn't mean I'm a bad person." He simply says, and I stare at him, feeling a little guilty I was thinking like this.
I nod my head, looking at him, what has caused him to become this person? What scars did he have on his soul? I wanted to help, wanted to tell him it was all going to be okay, but I can't. It's not my job to listen to his problems, I had enough of my own, a marriage I needed to save.
Although, I am thinking this healthy thoughts his eyes watch me and I can't help myself to pull away from his gaze, it's dark and enticing and there was something about it that just made me want to fold and give up, and allow him to take me into his strong arms but I regressed, you have Matt I remind myself, being the first to look away.
He hands me the bag of weed and I hand him the money, he mumbles a silent thank you and I look at him again, wanting to sit down and ask a million questions but I knew he didn't have the patience for that right now.
I see the familiar smirk come onto his lips when I get a text message, I look down and read it, still feeling Stefan's burning gaze on me, making my cheek heat up.
It was from Matt.
"I'm willing to try, if you are. I know how much you love our son, and we need to be together in this. Things haven't been the same, Elena. We can't hide behind our schedules, let's talk tonight."
I find myself smiling at this, my heart bursting with unexplainable joy, he didn't want to give up on this marriage after all, we both want what's best for our son.
"I better go." I say, pulling my cardigan around my chest more.
Stefan just nods, standing there.
"Thank you for your business." He says again, sticking his hand out and I gently move my hand over his, shaking it, we don't break eye contact until I walk out his apartment the bag of weed hidden in my dress.
I didn't have time for this guy, I needed to make things work with my husband, for my son. I didn't have time to be selfish and act on desires like Caroline said, I had to get my thoughts together, stop thinking so much about the mysterious drug dealer in the loft and focus on the prince charming husband, that is so good to me, and I don't deserve it. I had to focus on my future. Stefan was just a kid, his life was probably beginning, and mine was slowly coming to an end.
I grab my keys and head to my car, taking one last look at the loft, proud of myself for resisting temptation.