Let me know what you think about this chapter, I really enjoy this story, feedback is greatly appreciated! you guys are the best

Stefan

I wake up after Carly left and make myself some breakfast, Damon hadn't been near in three days and I was honestly glad for it.

I didn't need his stupid lectures about how thing was going to make me end up dead, or that I was going to caught and face possible jail time. I was playing this game carefully, retracing my steps every so often, making sure no one blabbed their mouth about my cartel. I didn't need anyone but myself.

I make myself some toast and sit down on the couch I had just had sex on not even five hours ago. When Caroline texted me that Elena was going to pick up the weed, I couldn't deny the jitters that rattled my bones. I couldn't stop thinking about her last night, even when I was with Carly, I had to get over this little attraction, because he wasn't going to help me any, I couldn't afford feelings at this point in my life, it's better to just have side bitches and that's it.

I jumped in the shower, washing away all the scent of Carly last night, I was honestly surprised I had memorized her name, usually I didn't.

I dress in a green shirt and black pants, combing my messy dirty blond hair, I put on some cologne, because I usually wore this scent.

Suddenly if on cue, I hear a knock on the door, I smirk and walk towards the door, ready to tease Elena until her soft cheeks turn pink.

I noticed her face was always flush when she was around me, I feel my pride swell up as I answer the door, leaning back against it.

But what I find is not Elena, but a boy, he looks young and he has a skateboard in his hand, jet black hair and blue eyes.

"Yo, are you Stefan?" He asks, his voice barely dropped below a girl's range, he must not be sixteen yet.

"Who wants to know?" I say, standing in front of the door, crossing my arms over my thin green shirt.

"I heard you had weed, I got money.." He pulls out a crumpled 20 in the back of his black jeans, his gives me his best smile.

"Yeah, I don't think so." I say, shaking my head.

"Why, I got your money right here!" He says, arguing with me, his voice goes up.

I close my eyes and open them away.

The boy reminded me a little of myself when I was 15, always looking for trouble, I always knew where the drugs were, that's mostly why my friends kept me around, they used to call me drug catcher, I could spot drugs from a mile away.

I started smoking weed when I was 15 and then turned to harder stuff in the early years, the boys eyes beg against mine and I shake my head, my mouth in a firm line, I wasn't going to see him go down the same path as me.

"No, not selling to minors." I confirm, standing in the doorway, I look over and see a shadow approaching it must be Elena.

"Man, you're whack." He says, taking back his money, his fold his hands in his pockets but I stay firm with him.

He doesn't budge for a few seconds and I watch as Elena gets there, she looks at the boy, confused by his actions, as he stomps away, then her gaze shifts to me, her brown eyes in confusion, as her eyebrows furrow at what she just witnessed.

My eyes drift down to her what she's wearing a blue summer time dress, the material looks so thin and for a second I can't imagine doing anything but ripping it off her. But I'm too angry to speak, of the stupidity of the boy.

She sends shivers down my spine as she finally speaks up.

"What was that about?" She asks, looking at me, but I just stare at her, not moving, my thoughts drift back to when Damon first found out I was on drugs.

"Stefan, you need to stop this." He yelled, raising his hands up in frustration.

"Damon, it's just for exams, I'll quit after." I promised him, and he backed off me for a few days, but with that skeptical look in his eye, that he got when he usually could tell when people were lying, and I fucking hated it.

We didn't talk for a week and I found myself wishing him, now I find myself regretting ever pushing him away, I realize he was showing me tough love, just like I was showing the boy tough love.

Sometimes I wish I never got involved with drugs, but who would I be without them?

I turn away form the door, and lean down to get the box of weed, I sort through it, while I feel Elena's eyes burn into my back.

"Hey." She tries again, but I don't respond, still stuck in a haze.

My fists balled to my side, knowing that I had ruined Damon and I's relationship with my stubbornness, it shook me to the core.

"Why did you do that?" She asks, and I finally allow her a glance, her face filled with wonder as she looks at me.

I scowl and think of a good answer, so I don't have to share my feelings with her, this girl I barely knew, who was probably judging me, already.

"It'll get me in trouble with your husband." I say in a reminding her she has one, my voice is bitter but it comes out quiet, I doubt she'd notice the difference.

I watch her face fall a second, as I smirk ,turning around and sorting through the boxes. She was just your typical soccer mom, she probably only wanted me to get back at her husband, or something like that. Obviously, she wasn't getting fucked right, if she kept walking around and being so uptight.

"But your expression, you.. seemed.. sad." She says, her eyebrows furrowed in concern and I wanted to laugh at her, tell her it's none of her business but I stay silent, sorting through the boxes ''till I find a bag that has a big C on it. Bingo.

"Concerned." I hear her correct herself and I tense up at that word.

Concerned? Is she really surprised I would be concerned, what? Was is because I was a drug dealer that I didn't have feelings, or a heart for that matter. Apparently she thought I was the heartless, I don't glare at her, as I look intently in her brown eyes.

"Just because I'm a drug dealer doesn't mean I'm a horrible person." I say, turning away and rolling my eyes.

I feel her gaze in my back again, probably pitting me, and this person I have become and for a second, I find myself wanting to be pitted, loved, even, taken care of. But I know she can't do these things, she's married for God's sake, still her concern sent a sliver of joy down my to my heart.

I knew even I start a relationship with someone I'll just end up fucking it up in the long run.

I'm about to say something, as I go to hand her the bag of weed but she looks down at her phone, smiling.

I watch as her face lights up more at each word her eyes touch.

I feel the jealousy begin to set in but I stop myself, from even being jealous. Why was I jealous? She had the perfect life, the perfect family, a big house, a husband that probably gave her everything she deserved and yet, she still looked at me like I was the answer to all her needs. I wanted to be, Oh God, How I wanted to just swoop her into my arms and press her against the wall and never let her leave, but I refrain myself, she doesn't need a loser like me.

"I better go." She says, looking back up at me and for a minute I see sadness in her doe brown eyes.

I just nod, standing there, feeling inadequate.

"Thank you for your business." I lamely respond, sticking my hand out, her touch is gentle against my skin, and it makes my hand quiver slightly, I don't think she notices

She mumbles a quick goodbye and stuffs the weed in her dress, walking out the door.

I watch her, thinking this is for the best, am I really that pathetic that I go after a married women?

I go up to the dusty old attic to box again, taking

my mind of everything as I try to hit that punching bag as hard as I can.

My mind drifts back to earlier years, Damon and I going to the lake house

of our parents and catching fish, roasting marshmallows by the open fire,

water balloon fights near the lake. Every 4th of July we'd watch the

fireworks go off. And now I had just ruined it, I had no idea how to get in

contact with Damon. I found out two days ago his girlfriend works in town

as a counselor for marriage. I hadn't seen Bonnie in ages, I thought they

had broken up because our father never approved of Bonnie's race. Growing

up in L.A you'd think he'd be more open minded, but nope. Our father acted

like a southerner, he hated different races. I was glad Bonnie and Damon

made it back to each other though, they really deserved each other and I

know she's always been there for him in my absence. I stop punching the bag

and glance at my cell phone, seeing if I have any new customers.

None.

Perfect, I think and suddenly I hear a knock on my door.

"Stefan?" I hear my brother's voice over the metal door and it causes my

heart to rise out of my chest.

"Be right there." I yell, throwing on my shirt, the one thing I liked about

this loft was it was very close together, so I always had an idea when a

visitor popped up.

I bounce down the attic steps, closing it. Some dust falls on my shirt and

I quickly wipe it off, sliding the thin beam so it's unlocked.

I slide open the door and I'm face to face with my brother, his blue eyes

showing concern as he looks at what I'm wearing. I scan his appearance too,

all crisp in his tux's and shirt.

"Hey, I brought burgers." He holds up the bag with a sheepish grin and I

stand back from the door, motioning him to come in.

He glances at me surprised and I walk over to the kitchen, raiding the

cabinets for a place.

For a moment neither of us talk, I'm lost in my own thoughts and I'm sure

he is, too.

I walk over and grab the bag from his hand, setting the burgers on the

plate.

Just as I'm about to say something he speaks up and we stare at each other,

embarrassed looks and smiles on our faces.

It's a bit awkward, not being mad at him.

"You go first." I say, sitting down on the bar stool, burger in front of

me.

He sits next to me, loosen his tie a bit, another nervous habit of us. I

note and glance his way.

"I'm sorry for being so hard on you... I just wanted to say whatever you

wanna do with your life Stefan, I'm here." He vows, quietly, picking up a

french fry.

I smile, it's a genuine smile and it kind of hurts my heart as well.

"It's okay, Damon, really. I've learned a lot of things today." I mutter,

also picking up a fry.

He stares at me, his eyebrows shooting up.

"Really?" He asks, a smile breaking on his flustered face.

"Yeah."

I tell him about the young boy that came over today and he nods his head

listening, patiently.

I feel my cheeks heat up as I continue my story, embarrassed I was finally

admitting he did indeed love and care for me all along.

He stares at me, I hear his breaths become weak and it's only do I look up,

I realize he is crying.

For a second, I'm not sure what to do but when I reach out to console him

he puts a hand on my shoulder.

"You don't know how long I waited to hear this, brother." He says, wiping a

single tear from his eye.

I smile small at him and nod.

I start to fumble with my words, each stutter becomes unbearable, I'm not

really sure what to say and I feel my awkwardness kicking in but Damon nods

over at me as if he can read my mind.

"I know, Stef." He says quietly, lifting his arm off my dense shoulder.

I feel a grin break out on my face again and it feels foreign to me, weird

to be this happy.

I'm almost expecting to wake up, realize this is all a dream but as I watch

Damon talk about his life, and what he's been doing, I realize this is real

and for the first time in forever I feel okay.

We sit and talk for what seems like hours, I tell him all my starting out

drug dealing stories, how well I'm doing in this business, how-

I actually enjoy it here, more then L.A.

And he in turn listens with patience that I will never have, he stares at

me, his blue eyes sparkling with joy.

Later, he looks at the clock, picking up his dirty plate as he sets it in

the sink.

"I better get going.. Bonnie's gonna start calling me."

I smile and tell him to tell her I said hi and he promises and so we go our

separate ways and although it hurts, I know Damon will make it a point to

come and visit me more. I enjoyed telling him of my life, I finally

realized life is better with someone to share those experiences with, I

need Damon, more then he knows. He was always a rock for me growing up,

dealing with Mother's cancer battle, father's affairs before and after, my

first heartbreak. Damon was always there with a warm hug and advice.

My thoughts shift back to Elena somehow and I feel like I've been punched

in the stomach.

Should I tell Damon about her?