Where did this ASL headcanon come from...

Maybe, because Hawk Girl sounds close to Hawkeye who is/was deaf?

Anyway.

-Cro

"No, you're wrong!"

"No, you're wrong!"

"No, you're wrong!"

"You are!"

"No, you!"

"CHILDREN!" Wonder Woman roared from the cockpit of her invisible jet. "So help me Athena, I will turn this plane around!"

Hawk Girl couldn't hear through the walls of the jet, so Superman narrated for her, finding it difficult not to laugh and miss something.

Flash, buckled in by invisible belts and looking like a quarrelsome child, pointed at the Green Lantern. "Mom!" he demanded, "Tell him he's wrong!"

"Why did I agree to give you a ride! Not you, Aqua Man," she said hastily as he threw up his arms in consternation, "you're being good."

"Why don't you ask Dad?" Hal said angrily. "He gets the final say."

"Fine! I will! Hey DAD!"

Clark used ASL to sign to Flash: I'm not your dad.

"Dad, settle something. Why do I need to say you're faster than a speeding bullet, huh? What other kinds of bullets are there?"

"There's, I dunno, not speeding bullets?"

"What kind of bullet is doesn't speed? A bullet I lightly chuck at your face?"

"For example, yes!"

"You're faster than a not-speeding bullet!"

"Kids, be nice! You are adults!"

"…"

"…you're an adult," Hal whispered to Flash.

Stop bothering your mom Clark signed.

"You're not my real dad!" Flash pouted playfully.

"Okay," Clark said to Hawk Girl. "Not that this is getting annoying, but I've gotta go."

"Oh no!" she said mockingly. "But it was just getting good!"

"Will you let Wonder Woman know I have some work I need to catch up with before tomorrow?"

"Oh, come on," Hawk Girl grinned, "It can wait one more night, can't it?"

"Yes, But I can't," Clark said before he could stop himself. He immediately turned crimson. "I mean-"

"O-ho, that kind of work, is it?" she teased. She flew ahead of Clark, her wings near vibrating in mischievous delight.

She pulled beside Wonder Woman: Guess who's got a date tonight she signed.

Who Diana signed back.

Hawk Girl gestured gleefully at Clark and he blushed even harder.

"No!" Wonder Woman said aloud in disbelief. "Superman?"

"What did Dad do?" Flash was immediately in the cockpit. "Did he do something? Tell me!"

Wonder Woman cackled over her shoulder. "Superman's got a daaaate!" she sang.

"What?" cried Green Lantern. "No way! With who?"

"I bet it's Power Girl!" Flash winked several times in a row. "Is it? Is it Power Girl? I bet it is!"

"I don't think Power Girl is Superman's type," Aqua Man said.

"God, shut up, Aqua man!"

"Power Girl is everyone's type, Aqua Man," Wonder Woman said, "I think it's her-"

"BOOBS!" Flash supplied! "Boobs! It's boobs, right? You were gonna say boobs?"

"…bubbly personality," Wonder Woman glared.

"What about that journalist that's always doing stories on him for the Planet?" offered the Green Lantern. "She seems to have the hots for Superman. Lane something."

"Naw, his stalker? No way!"

"Where's Batman?" Aqua Man asked, but fortunately, no one heard him except Clark, who tripped on an air current in surprise.

Clark glowered at Hawk Girl when he regained his balance. "Look what you've done."

She smirked. "It's more interesting than "speeding" vs. "not-speeding" bullets. I'm putting my money on Solomon Grundy, and I promise Diana's calling Night Wing." She flew up and signed: Taking bets

"Night Wing," Wonder Woman yelled over her shoulder. "He's just dark enough to balance out the Boy Scout, and he's cute as hell."

"Goodbye," Superman shouted over his shoulder as he hung a right, but even when he hit the Metropolis city limits, he could still hear his teammates arguing about "ships" and "ohteepees." His face felt hot, but thinking of Bruce Wayne just a few hundred miles away, straightening his back brace in the mirror as he picked out a tie- oh, with that image in his mind, of Bruce Wayne nervously trying to pick out the best outfit (did Bruce Wayneget nervous? That would sure make Clark feel better about the butterflies in his stomach) his anxiety settled into a warm, happy excitement. As he arrived on his fire escape, mentally picking out an outfit, his thigh started buzzing.

"Ma," he answered his phone as he climbed into his apartment through the window. "Guess what? Remember that date I told you about? It's tonight!'

"Finally," Martha Kent cried. "That boy has had you on the line for two dang weeks! There comes a time when you either oughtta reel 'em in or-"

"Or let him go, right. But it's not like that, Ma, between my work, his company, the League, his doctor appointments…"

"Baby, you know what your father would say to you?"

Clark laid out his suit on his unmade bed. "If it's important, you gotta find time, I know. That's what we're doing tonight. I'm blowing off Lois, he's blowing off Hong Kong… it'll be nice just to spend some time together. I know it sounds stupid because I see him practically every day, but, I miss him, Ma."

"That don't sound stupid at all, honey."

"Great. And I'll pick up flowers in Gotham, I don't want to ruin them on the flight over."

From Ma Kent's line, spritely footsteps ran down the stairs and flew to the phone. "Who's that, Aunt Martha? Is that Clark? Can I say hi?"

"Baby, Cousin Kara wants to say hi. Now, you give me that phone when you're done, little miss, I want to say goodbye to my son this time."

"Yes, ma'am." And then Kara squealed excitedly into the phone. "CLARK! I miss you!"

"Hi Kara, how are you?"

"I'm great, great, great! Did Aunt Martha tell you we made ice cream? We made coffee ice cream! Have you had coffee ice cream before?"

"Oh, that reminds me. Turns out aspirin doesn't affect other people like it does us. So add that to the list of things that affect Kryptonians differently than earthlings."

"Alcohol, jazz music, sugar, kryptonite and…"

"Aspirin."

"And aspirin! Got it! Aunt Martha was supposed to invite you to our ice cream party! We're renting The Princess Bride and Casablanca! Are you coming?"

Clark's heart lurched. "Oh, I forgot movie night, didn't I?"

"Psh, what's more important than watching dumb movies with your mom and your favorite cousin in the whole wide universe?"

"I actually…have a date," Clark blushed, "A first date. A pretty important one, too."

"That Bruce guy finally let you take him out?" Kara gushed. "That's awesome! Are you taking him putt-putting?"

"I was," Clark said, appraising his three neckties before tossing aside the one with the embroidered cats someone had given him for a Daily Planet Secret Santa last year. "But he made reservations at a swanky French restaurant in New York. Hey, you know my suit?"

"Which one? The only one?"

"Ha!" Clark burst sarcastically. "Ha ha! You're so very funny! You know I have lots of suits."

"You have four and they're all the same one."

"Which tie should I wear, the red silk or the blue checked cotton?"

Kara gagged dramatically. "Do you have a sombrero and a bikini? Because that would be better than a dark grey suit with either of those ties."

Clark's stomach dropped. "So…"

"No tie. And for goodness' sake, unbutton your shirt at the top. Act like you live in business casual."

"You know he's met me, right?"

"What kind of flowers are you getting him?" Kara ignored him pointedly.

Clark looked at his watch. It was 6. "Roses."

"Gross, no."

"What? Roses are classic!"

"Roses are played out."

And from the upstairs phone came Martha's voice. "Listen to Kara, Clark."

"Ma, you don't like roses?"

"I do, but I'm a little older than you. What about lilies?"

"Those are too girly, Aunt Martha. Ooh, daffodils?"

"They're not in season, dear. You can't start off a relationship with puny or wilted flowers."

Clark blushed. "Relationship?"

"Clark Kent, don't tell me you want to take this boy on a lovely date without any intention of starting a relationship!"

"You're such a tease, oh my gosh!"

"It's six, ladies, I've got to go."

"Enjoy yourself, sweetie."

"I wanna hear all about it!"

"So do I!"

With a dumb grin stuck on his face, Clark quickly put on his clothes, locked the window behind him and flew off to Gotham.

There was only one flower shop in Gotham that wasn't currently a front for mob activity, so Clark touched down an empty alley away to pick out flowers. The bored teenage sales clerk barely looked at him as he paced the aisles.

"Roses," he murmured. "Lilies, boy, those daffodils are wilted, peonies, I don't know what those are, pink is out, right? I don't know what those are, ooh, they smell pretty!" And then Clark had the perfect, the only idea, and he handed the surprised clerk his bouquet with ten minutes to spare.