Chapter Four

The rest of the evening passed in a sort of daze. I didn't remember eating three pieces of chocolate cake. Not until I'd started to feel sick. And to be honest, I wasn't entirely sure if it was the cake that was making me sick or the fact that there was a teeny, tiny, itty bitty possibility that I might be pregnant.

I tried really hard not to focus on that, but it was all my brain would think about.

The idea of being pregnant was scary enough on its own. I'd had pregnancy scares in the past with Joe. Usually on the heels of his crazy Grandma Bella's visions. I'd handled them with at least some dignity. Joe and I had been seeing each other off and on for a few years. Sometimes we even talked about getting married. We hadn't entirely lined up on that yet, but I figured it would happen someday. Getting pregnant with Joe's baby would just speed up the process.

This would be different, though. Because the way the timeline worked out, it wouldn't be Joe's baby. Couldn't be. Because the week I would have conceived, I was in Hawaii with Ranger.

I tried to smile and act normal while I accepted the bag of leftovers from my mom and climbed into Hal's SUV. He drove me home to my little three story yellow brick apartment building and parked in the lot. Ordinarily, I might have taken exception to him walking me inside like a fragile princess since there wasn't likely to be a knife wielding maniac waiting for me in my apartment. This time I hardly noticed him. I opened my door and said goodnight. Grateful when I was finally alone.

How could this have happened?

Well. I wasn't stupid. I knew exactly how it could have happened. There had been a moment in Hawaii. Things had been going really great between us, and the sex had been phenomenal, and I'd been drinking and we'd been flirting, and we found ourselves in the bushes on the opposite side of the resort from our little vacation cottage with raging libidos and no raincoats. He'd tried to be responsible and put on the breaks, but I'd let the fact that I was on the pill tempt me into acting rash. And then that night, after a lot more lovemaking sans protection, I'd found out that I had missed a couple pills.

I had a panic attack all over again just thinking about it.

I'd never let myself fully appreciate at the time just how much that would have screwed up my life. I couldn't stop the thoughts now.

Ranger had made it very clear that he had no intention of marrying again. His first marriage had been a hasty one after a one night stand with a girl he used to know had resulted in pregnancy while he was on leave as a young, enlisted soldier. And it had lasted only long enough to keep their daughter from being born out of wedlock. He had no intention of doing that again. I know, because I asked. His answer had been vague at best, but that much had been crystal clear.

Ranger couldn't be a husband. He couldn't even be a decent boyfriend. Which would leave me in a very precarious position.

I'd always kind of figured I'd marry Joe Morelli someday. When we'd both matured enough to want that. But there was no way in hell I could see Joe raising Ranger's baby. Maybe someone else's, but not Ranger's. It would be a reminder everyday that there was a part of me that would always belong to Ranger. Whether he wanted it or not.

Not to mention what it would do to my mother. My mother was beside herself when my sister Valerie had Lisa before she'd married Albert. I couldn't imagine what her reaction would be if I ended up having a love child with Batman.

And I thought my life couldn't get any more complicated.

I'd spent most of the night tossing and turning, every doomsday scenario running through my head at the same time. When the sun finally rose I was exhausted, and no closer to a solution than I was the night before.

I couldn't talk to Val about it. She'd tell my mother. Same with Grandma. In fact, with Grandma I'd be lucky if it didn't end up spread throughout the Burg via the beauty parlor. I couldn't go to my best friend Mary Lou. I'd gone to Mary Lou before when I thought I might be pregnant, but I couldn't see her keeping her cool when she figured out who the father might be this time. Lula and Connie were out, too. I could count on them for a lot of things, but discretion wasn't really one of them. And if even the whisper of suggestion got back to Joe, it could put a major kink in any future we might have.

I pulled my pillow over my head. Cripes! Didn't I know anyone besides Ranger who could keep a secret?

I could go to his housekeeper, Ella. She'd never tell a soul. Until Ranger got back. Not a big deal if I turned out to be pregnant, since I'd have to tell him eventually anyway, but if I wasn't, things might get a little awkward for all parties involved.

And there was no way in hell that I could buy a pregnancy test within a twenty mile radius of the Burg without both Morelli and my mother finding out in under ten minutes flat. I couldn't even drive myself outside the bubble of gossip because Tank had confiscated my truck. I'd have to have Hal drive me, or whoever had replaced Hal when his shift was over. And that would mean it was only a matter of time before it was all over the Rangeman building that I'd bought a pregnancy test. Secrets inside Rangeman never made it out, but it would still be pretty uncomfortable to have every man in Ranger's organization know that Ranger might have gotten me pregnant.

I drew in a deep breath and let it out in a big rush.

I was so screwed.

I laid there in self pity for several minutes praying I'd get cramps. Nothing. Surprise surprise. I grunted in frustration and rolled off the bed. Might as well drag myself into the shower. Self pity was an unproductive emotion anyway. Best to focus on a goal I could actually do something about. I still had a stack of skips to deal with. I would just apply a heavy dose of denial. I was good at denial. Denial had worked well for me in the past. Just ignore the problem and it might sort itself out, right? Just because I was late didn't mean for sure that I was pregnant. And a few days was nothing. Val said six was a sure thing. Maybe four wasn't all that bad.

By the time I was done with my shower it was almost nine and I'd mostly talked myself out of another panic attack. I dressed in jeans and a plain black t-shirt, slung my messenger bag over my shoulder and grabbed my keys. Then I remembered that Tank still had my truck.

I looked out my living room window into the parking lot. A shiny black SUV with big chrome wheels was waiting in my usual spot by the dumpsters. No telling who was in it.

Only one way to find out. But if it was someone with prison tattoos I was going back to bed.

I was pretty surprised when I saw Hal behind the wheel. "What gives? I thought you did your shift last night."

"Just until you went inside. Then Woody took over. Tank figured you might not get as bent out of shape about me driving you around."

"That was thoughtful of him," I said as I climbed up into the passenger seat. Only a little of it was sarcasm.

"Where to?"

"Take me to the bond's office."

Hal nodded and drove out of the lot.

"So, is he paying you overtime for doing another shift?" I asked him to break the silence.

"No, but if I take down a skip for you I get hazard pay."

"Well, that's something."

It didn't take long to get to the bonds office. It was only a couple miles from my apartment building, and there wasn't a lot of traffic on Hamilton at this time of morning. Hal pulled up to the curb and followed me in, taking up a post by the front windows so that he could watch the street. Not sure what he was watching for, since the only bad guy I'd pissed off lately was still in jail. Maybe it was just a force of habit.

Connie was sitting behind her desk with a nail file. Usually her position in front of Vinnie's office was to keep miscreants and lowlifes from rushing in to strangle my degenerate cousin, but since the office itself was still mostly plywood it was probably more routine than anything. Besides, it was pretty easy to see Vinnie wasn't in there. Probably down at lockup bonding someone out. I helped myself to some coffee. "Lula's not in yet?"

"Is Lula ever in yet?"

"Huhn," Lula said, swinging in through the glass front doors like a vision in shocking pink. Her short spandex skirt barely covered her ass, an acre of cleavage popping out of her matching pink and white tank top. "Beautiful doesn't just happen, you know. Sometimes it takes time to find just the right outfit. And I didn't exactly get a lot of sleep last night, if you know what I'm saying."

"I guess your date went well," Connie said.

"I'm not normally one to kiss and tell, but let's just say that he's hung like a bull and he knows what to do with it."

I choked on my coffee. "Jeez, what happened to not kissing and telling?"

"I figured even a classy woman like me should be allowed to brag sometimes. Just because you haven't been getting any doesn't mean none of us are."

I cut my eyes to Hal's back. He was making a consorted effort to ignore the conversation, but I could see that he was standing just a little too still. Clearly uncomfortable. Probably wishing he'd chosen to stand guard outside and taken his chances that I wouldn't slip out the back.

It was hard to know what most of Ranger's men made of our association. He may not be willing to have a real relationship the way that most people mean it, but Ranger had made one thing very clear. Inside his building, I was considered his. Might as well have PROPERTY OF RANGER stamped across my ass. His men treated me accordingly. I had no doubt they would take a bullet for me rather than face Ranger if something happened, and not one of them wanted to be the one who lost the boss' girlfriend. Even if I had no right to the title.

Any thoughts they had beyond that were a gray area, though.

There weren't any secrets in the Rangeman building. That meant any time I stayed to night, which happened on occasion, everyone in the building knew it. Expect for a few recent events, they'd mostly been platonic visits because my life was in danger. But since no one was brave enough to ask Ranger about it, there were likely some general assumptions as to the nature of those visits. And since they all knew about my connection to Joe Morelli, it probably made for some interesting conclusions.

I could only imagine what they told the new guys when they were hired. They probably had a dossier on me just for orientation. This is Stephanie Plum. She belongs to Ranger. This is her boyfriend the Trenton cop. Ranger doesn't care if she sleeps with him, but if you lose her, Ranger'll kick your ass.

Now I just had to keep PREGNANT from being added to that dossier.

"You alright?" Connie asked me. "You just turned green."

"Probably because she's not getting any," Lula guessed. "With Officer Hottie working overtime and The Man of Mystery being in the wind, she's got to have some frustration issues going on."

"Jeez Louise, can we talk about something else? Did anything new come in?"

"Just an aggravated assault," Connie said. "You still have a few files that are outstanding. Possession with intent to sell, drunk and disorderly, domestic violence, and two other assaults."

"What were the details on the aggravated assault," I wanted to know. "He wasn't a shooter, was he?"

Connie opened the file and looked it over. "Says he opened some guy's throat with his teeth. The victim nearly bled out on the way to the hospital."

"He's a biter?" Lula said. "Oh no, I'm not down with that. Nuh-uh. I'm not going after no biter."

"The police report said he was high at the time. Chances are he won't bite again."

"Chances are? That don't sound promising to me."

"What about the dream team?" I said.

"The dream team don't go after biters."

"Alright. I guess I'll have to go after him by myself. Just me and Hal."

I could see the ambivalence on Lula's face. She didn't want to be shown up by Hal. And at the same time, knowing he would be with us took a lot of pressure off, since we could count on him to jump in when things inevitably went sideways. I didn't like being babysat by a Rangeman escort, but sometimes it was nice to have a safety net.

"Well. When you put it that way, I guess it would be irresponsible of me to make you go after a biter all by yourself. Only if he so much as smiles at me I'm out of there."

"Whatever you say."