Chapter Seven

The day had already started without me when I woke the next morning, so exhausted that I had to wonder if I'd gone back to sleep at all after Ranger left. I tried really hard to convince myself it was all a bad dream. My brain didn't buy it. Neither did my stomach.

At least the Rangeman detail would be gone now that Ranger was back. That was something.

I went through my morning routine. Showered. Dressed in jeans and a red t-shirt. Swiped on a little mascara. Swiped on a little more. It always made me feel braver. And there was a good chance I might need to feel brave today.

My truck keys were sitting on my kitchen counter next to Rex when I went to make coffee. They'd been in my messenger bag last night. Someone had come in and moved them. It was a short list of candidates. I looked out my living room window and saw my Chevy Colorado parked in a spot by the dumpster. Ranger had made Tank return my truck. Made sense, now that I wouldn't have a chauffeur to drive me around. Then I spotted the shiny black SUV.

Fantastic.

Maybe they were waiting to say goodbye, I thought hopefully.

And maybe pigs really do fly.

I took the elevator down to the ground floor and crossed to the SUV. Both Hal and Ramon were inside. Hal rolled down the window when I got close enough. "I thought the Stephanie Watch would be called off now that Ranger's back. Why are there two of you now?"

"Those were orders," Hal said. "If you want more than that you'll have to take it up with Ranger."

I didn't want to take up anything with Ranger. Ranger had unfinished business that I thought was better avoided. I squinted my eyes at them and tried out the air of authority that Ranger always used. Didn't seem to make much of an impression. "Is this about what happened yesterday?"

Hal shrugged. I wasn't getting anything more out of him than that. I had no doubt he reported the incident with Jessup. Everything was reported to Ranger. I just couldn't imagine why Ranger would double down on my armed guards now that Jessup was in the hospital.

Unless this was about Skeezer. Doubtful. Skeezer hadn't made any threats. Just a little grumbling. Usually it took a lot more than that for Ranger to put me under guard.

I rolled my eyes and climbed into my truck. Looked in the glove compartment. The GPS unit was gone. Probably replaced by a newer, smaller model cleverly hidden somewhere I wasn't likely to look. I wouldn't be surprised if there was one in my bag too.

I drove to the bonds office and parked the truck out front. Ramon pulled in behind me. At least they didn't get out of the car this time.

Lula and Connie were eating doughnuts at Connie's desk when I walked in. That improved my day considerably. Doughnuts were happy food. They made the world seem right again.

I selected a Boston Kreme.

"How are you feeling?" I asked Lula.

"Better. I mean, I had a dead guy gnaw on my arm, but at least I'm not gonna turn."

"He wasn't a dead guy. Morelli thinks he was on PCP."

"That's nasty. That'll mess you up six ways to Sunday. I heard of a guy once when I was a 'ho that tried to cut off his own hand because he was convinced it didn't belong to him."

I shuddered. There were some things I just didn't want to know.

"So what's the plan for today?" Lula asked.

I took a bite of my doughnut. Chocolate glaze, creamy center. Much better. "I was thinking about the drunk and disorderly," I said, licking chocolate from my lips. "Should be pretty simple."

Harvey Peskelli was seventy-two, and had a long history of public intoxication. This time he'd wandered into the Cluck-in-the-Bucket and tried to help himself to the extra crispy. Got belligerent when they tried to stop him. The cops were called and he resisted arrest. The way my friend Eddie Gazarra tells it, Peskelli had started throwing chicken and both he and the cops ended up so covered in grease that not one of them could hold onto another. I heard Russ Green and Robert Shaw had gone down on the slick tile floor so many times that it was like trying to make a capture on a slip-n-slide.

Unfortunately for me, I could relate all too well.

"You know where he hangs out?" Lula asked.

"A lot of the times he was picked up were by the liquor store near his granddaughter's house. He's been staying there since they kicked him out of the Senior Center. I figured we start there and backtrack until we run into him."

We decided to take Lula's firebird. My truck didn't really have the space to drag around an FTA, and to be honest, I was still a little pissed that Ranger's vote of no confidence had extended to not trusting me with the GPS unit. The first chance I got, I was going to search that truck until I found it.

I could see the Explorer in my rear view mirror. I might have gotten mad about them still being on my tail, but I knew Hal and Ramon. They were nice guys, and the fact that they were following me wasn't their fault. Didn't seem right to yell at them.

I got a text. I knew by the ripple of nerves down my body that it was from Ranger.

My office. 2pm.

Oh boy. I was going to break out in hives just thinking about it. I really didn't want to face him. I wanted to curl up in a ball in my bed and pretend that last night never happened.

"What's that face for?" Lula asked. "That's your oh boy face."

"It's nothing."

"Sure. I believe that. You're not gonna start telling me it's complicated again, are you?"

"No. Nothing's complicated. I'm just ready for Rangeman to stop following me."

"I hear that. It's gotta be real annoying to have a small army of muscular guys following you around to make sure you don't get hurt, all because their foxy superfine boss has the hots for you."

"Is that sarcasm?"

"It might have been."

The liquor store was open when we got there, but the shopkeeper hadn't seen Peskelli yet. Seemed he was pretty regular, though. Usually stumbling in sometime around noon after he'd slept off the night before. If we were lucky, he might still be passed out. It was a lot easier apprehending people who were unconscious.

Lula and I went to leave the store and swung the door open right into a bleary-eyed old man. Peskelli. He was sweaty, and had the sour smell of old booze on him. It took him a second to focus on my face, but as soon as he saw me his mouth fell open in a perfect bass impression.

I've started to expect the reaction since Vinnie had put my face on every bus bench and billboard he could afford, tacking up fliers in dangerous neighborhoods and at the police station. The ads were supposed to encourage felons to choose Vinnie over the competition because they'd have me and Lula after them if they went FTA. The tagline read: If You're Bad We'll Send our Girls out to Get You.

Not the highlight of my life.

Especially since it had made my job considerably harder. Tricking a skip into thinking I'm delivering a pizza or selling Girl Scout cookies doesn't work that well when they recognize my face in less than ten seconds.

Peskelli gaped at me. "You're the bounty hunter."

"I work for your bail bondsmen. You missed your court date. I've come to help you reschedule."

He looked me over. Not sure what to make of me. Then he looked at Lula. That confused him even more. Not that I blame him. No one really knows what to make of Lula. "I guess that's alright."

"Great. We can give you a ride down to the courthouse right now."

He looked unsure for a second, but then he smiled. "Yeah. Okay. Why not?"

This was turning out easier than I thought. I pulled the cuffs out of my back pocket and his smile faltered for a second, but then he held out his hands in front of him cooperatively. I stepped closer and went to put on the cuffs. Then he shoved me. I flew back while he turned on his heels and started running. Arms wrapped around me from behind. Ramon caught me against his chest to keep me from falling. "You didn't see that coming?"

"I was giving him the benefit of the doubt."

Ramon grinned.

Lula was after Peskelli in a hot second, but when she launched herself at him, intent to squash him like a bug, he slipped out of her path and she landed on the sidewalk with a humph. I pushed away from Ramon and ran after him. He paled. Picked up a silver garbage can from the alley next to him and tried to throw it at me. If he had been sober, he might have realized this wasn't an effective plan. The can only made it a couple feet, spilling its contents out across the sidewalk. The bag on top was flung far enough to hit my leg and burst open. Something that smelled suspiciously like spoiled yogurt smearing across my jeans. I started after him again and my foot slipped. I almost went down, but Ramon caught my arm and helped me stay on my feet.

Peskelli was running away full tilt, watching me over his shoulder. I was about to dart after him and tackle him when a giant shadow stepped into his way. Peskelli bounced off the immovable wall of Hal and flopped over onto the sidewalk. I put a knee on him and cuffed his arms behind his back. "I could have handled this on my own, you know."

Ramon was helping Lula up. He grinned at me. "No doubt. But this was more fun."

Hal was still standing behind me. "Want me to put him in the firebird?"

I debated that for a second, but I didn't want to look wimpy. "I've got it," I said, dragging Peskelli to his feet. Hal and Ramon stood back and watched me march him to Lula's firebird and shove him into the back seat. I looked at my watch. I needed to drop Peskelli off at the police station and then change my clothes. Might need to take a full shower, since I smelled like sour yogurt. And then I would need to turn in my body receipt and collect my check.

Ramon came up to my side as if he'd read my mind. "Ranger wanted you to meet him at two in his office. You want me to drive you straight back to your place after we do the police station thing so you can clean up? Might be quicker."

I let out a sigh of resignation. I wasn't getting out of this. If I didn't go willingly, Hal and Ramon probably had orders to bring me in by force. That wouldn't do much for my dignity.

"Yeah, I guess."