So... how are you'll doing?

Magical into...

Bright, warm and loud. Three words that immediately surfaced as I began regaining consciousness. Voices were hurriedly exchanging worried and concerned words. I felt terrible, my arms hurt and I my brain felt like it wasn't even there anymore. I pried my eyes open to scan across the room I was in, it was the sick bay with its cream and empty walls bearing down on me. The voices didn't seem to notice my awakening and rather continued their inconsiderate conversation as I got my bearings. The room didn't seem that bright though, and after looking out a window I saw that dawn was just peeking up from the horizon. The bright oranges shot upwards as it's rays just barely enveloped the bounty.

I coughed, which drew the attention of the other occupations of the room, all eyes were directed to me as an uncomfortable silence stretched across the room. The first eyes I caught were the creamy chocolate brown of my sister, she looked like she was on the brink of tears and her hands shifted in and out of fists. I pursed my lips together in hopes that someone would speak up and take the first step to resolving the situation. Not that I necessarily wanted to hear their disapproving speeches. But I might as well get it over and done with now.

"Kai..."

Nay was desperately fighting the urge to burst into tears, he eyes were already red and puffy from doing so before.

"Why did you do it?"

That's always the question isn't it? Why? I mean of cause, the suicidal boy has to have a reason for doing what he did. And of cause he'll just tell us because we're his family. It can't be that hard right?

I stared Into her eyes and when I made no effort to answer her, she sucked in a sudden breath and let the tears flow freely down her cheeks. I watched her, I didn't exactly feel sorry for her but she was my sister and I don't take joy in seeing her unhappy. Zane walked over to her side and wrapped her in a hug which she gladly accepted before sobbing into his chest. Jay did not agree with this scene at all and fiercely stomped up the my side.

"Look at what you did to her, to us."

What I did? He made a show of sweeping his arm across the room and gestured to all the sad, shocked and disappointed faces.

"Don't you know how horrible we felt when you pulled your stunt?"

"Jay-" Sensei tried to warn but it was quickly brushed off.

"Nya was so heartbroken because her own brother – her only family – couldn't even sit down for five minutes and tell her what's wrong."

So this is my fault now?

Wasn't it always? Jay has a point you know.

"And then you made it even worse by doing all these ridiculous things like cutting yourself, what the hell man? Why didn't you tell anyone?"

Do you really believe that it was that easy? All I could do was sit and watch as Jay vented all his anger, behind his hurt eyes I could seed anger bubbling up. He was angry at me? But I did nothing wrong.

Do you seriously believe that lie? Not only did you hurt you self and your family but you showed that you couldn't even trust your own sister with your pain.

But you're the one that told me to do it!

"Nothing to say." Jay stated and scoffed as he folded his arms across his chest, I felt like a child being scolded by their father. "Typical Kai, you always want to do things yourself, you're too good for anyone's help. And now, look where that's gotten us."

"Jay!"

I told you that they didn't care, but now they hate you. That's even worse.

Jay, this voice is the one hurting me! Hurting everyone!

If only they could hear you

Stop, get out! This time I mean it.

Sure you do.

"Kai, don't you realise that this doesn't only affect you but us as well, just because you want to leave doesn't mean we want you gone."

So they're dictating your life now...

"Do you know how painful it was to find you lying on the floor, bleeding out. It hurt us all."

Is she really saying this?

"Kai we love you, and when you did all this things to your body and tried to kill yourself... we felt like we failed you."

She sobbed but stayed close to Zane in case she felt another uncontrollable sobbing session coming on.

"Well I'm so sorry that I made you feel that way." I eyed her with an unwavering stare that left everyone's eyes wide with surprise. "And I'm so sorry for being such a selfish person. How could I do that to you?! And it was so simple to just talk about my problems right? So easy just to lay out all my dark and dirty secrets." My voice was raised and my eyes were narrowed into slits.

I wish I could have felt something when I said those things. But I didn't. I didn't feel anything.

Why are you doing this? They don't care, why would they now if they didn't before.

I felt like I was being eaten from the inside out, I'm nothing.

You're nothing.

I should have cried. I should have screamed. I should have raged like there was no tomorrow, because there wasn't. There's only so long that you can take the loneliness, only so long I that you can hold the facade and only so long that you can believe in the lie that your not useless. I've exhausted myself in a cruel cycle over and over again, hurting myself because I wanted to feel real. Faking every smile to make sure that others around me didn't have to deal with my depression.

My hand heated up with a burning passion that I hadn't felt in so long, it felt amazing. And the relief that came with it was even better. I reached up to the thin, soft skin of my neck where my grip was strong and solid. It only took a second for everyone to rush to me but a second was all I needed.

My molten flames easily burnt through the soft tissue, it hurt of cause, but I was okay with that.

You did it

For once I could actually see the evil, bright smile of his dark face. He stood over me in victory as he watched my family hurry over to me.

How are you feeling?

Perfect

He smirked again as he lowered his head in a menacing way, his shadows slowly began disappearing into smoky swirls that were blown away with the morning wind

Bye...

That's the end

Have you ever been so afraid to let people in because you don't want them to hurt you or you don't want to disappoint then because your not good enough. But when you do let those few people into your life, you treat then like there the world to you, because you want them to treat you the same. And you know your going to be crushed that they won't do it but you try anyway because you have that tiny bit of hope that they will.

But enough about me being sad, you guys should know that I'm trying really hard to put myself back together, and great internet friends helps a lot. Internet friends and chocolate.

Thank you KRR for being there, and reviewing and for praying for me. You have no idea how many times I was so far down and just seeing that in my email made me smile.

Thank you Windy for reviewing on almost all my chapter and for sharing your feelings and your story

Ninjagymnastgirl for your reviews that really made me smile

ColeForever for being supportive, even when I lashed out you which I'm still very sorry for

Lila Kay for that one review that still made a difference

And last but definitely not least, ArtemisGriffin for making me laugh today and basically making this one of the best days I've had I a long time (History rocks)