A/N: I do NOT own RWBY or it's characters, Monty Oum and RoosterTeeth productions do.
"Hello dear readers."
"Hello idiots."
"Fox, please, we're not even in a complete scenario right now."
"Doesn't mean I can't express how disgruntled I am with life."
Ren sighed, putting his face into his palm. "I've told you before Fox, maybe if you hadn't been 'spanking' it so much, you wouldn't be blind now."
Fox paused and stared in the general direction Ren's aura was in.
Currently the two were siting in two director style folding chairs, like being hosts of some kind of TV talk show. Ren stared back just as hard.
"Don't you even-"
Before he could finish Fox had grabbed the next director chair next to him and threw it at the stoic lotus man, effectively knocking him over. Being frazzled just the slightest, Ren stood back up and fixed his chair, hopping back in it.
"Ok I deserved that."
"Deserved what? I didn't see." Oh now Fox was just being a little shit. Ren mustered the blankest, hardest stare he could directing it at Fox who knew exactly what he was doing.
"I wish you knew how hard I was staring at you right now." Fox simply put on a very happy smiling face and waved his open hand in front of his face several times for effect. Then going back to a simple smirk.
"Very funny," deciding to give up this charade. "Anyway, we're here to discuss the continuation of this fic so aptly named "Clothes, Please."
"Why couldn't the author just make an author's note instead of putting her 2 most sarcastic interpretations of characters in a chapter to do this."
"Oh you know Raiken, always on the fly with ideas and the like." Waving his hand to the off remark.
"Wasn't this fic originally about you and Jaune getting it on?"
"Shut up, it was originally decided as a one-shot from my point of view of things from the Volume 2 episode where Jaune dragged me naked-"
"Nope, covering my ears." Placing his scared hands over his ears before Ren managed to snag an arm.
"Not that kind of way, as I was saying, Jaune dragged me as I just got out of the shower to confess his feelings-"
"This just sounds like it's getting worse by the second."
"If you let me finish. To confess his feelings for Weiss-"
"Ice Queen?"
"..." At the sudden pause both just momentarily stayed silent. Ren just letting the time tick by. A few more seconds ticked by before Fox tried to start it back up.
"Aren-"
"Oh."
"...Wh-"
"Uh."
"I wa-"
"Nu."
"Re-"
"Op!"
"..." The scarred man decided to stay silent now, catching on to what was happening.
"That's what you sound like every time you interrupt me." Ren triumphantly told him now that Fox stopped talking.
"I will throw another directors' chair at you, you know that right?" He threatened the smaller man. Ren minded his nails, completely disregarding Fox's threat.
"And you do know I'll trap you in a room with Nora." At his Fox visibly sweat dropped. "That's what I thought." Now idly sitting with his legs crossed.
"Now, as I was saying before Tapped-ass over here so rudely interrupted me." Fox shot a glare at Ren's direction. "This fic was originally about my inner thoughts on situations that happened around Beacon academy while Team JNPR was present. As you can see from the last 2 chapters, that premise has changed just a tiny bit and we'll add more original ideas as it strikes us. Now we can't promise every chapter will be over 5,000 words like the previous Team CFVY chapter 5-
"That's like..the most viewed chapter now compared to your documentary chapter."
"-they'll just vary from length. Along with more parody/crack than you can handle, and Team SSSN.
"Team SSSN's gonna appear?"
"Yeah yeah, some Christmas chapter...junk, mainly Sage and Scarlet since they're the real one's who haven't gotten any screen time. And especially with the addition of my blind co-pilot over here."
"Hey, being blind, making fun of your own disability as long as it's within good reason, and sarcastic is 'in' apparently."
"How do you get away with that actually?"
"Oh it's easy, especially helping Coco go shopping. Her asking me 'does this blouse look good on me?' is just priceless when I tell her 'Yes, that blue blouse looks smashing.' When she tells me its a red one."
"So you would say you're the havoc causer of the group?"
"5 minutes later I want to go to the restroom and she directs me straight into the women's side."
"Soooo...?"
"Nah, I'd say it's the both of us, but now Velv tags along to keep us both out of trouble." He hung his head low in defeat. Ren gave his newfound friend a comforting hand on the shoulder, understanding his plight.
"You and I are kindred spirits, good friend."
"Wait, aren't canonly you just really really really quiet all the time unless the situation calls for it?" Fox now touching other aspects of Ren's character.
"In all sense, yes, but the author had the idea one day that maybe on the inside, I just like to watch the world burn and have inner talks with myself at how stupid some people can be. I think really there are 2 of me. One that doesn't talk as much, and the real me that constantly converses with my other half."
"But now, Raiken has created a monster that does nothing but cause havoc for shipping his 2 teammates together."
"Hey!" Giving the older man a pointed stare. "I know you can't see me right now because you're blind and stuff, but that ship WILL sail!" Fox could feel the intensity in which his friend looked at him.
"Speaking of which, where is the Spartan? I thought she would be tearing you a new one any second now." Noting her obvious absence.
"Speaking of that..." Leaning to sit back in his chair without tipping over. He had to break the news to him some time. "We have to go bail her out."
"What?" The dark skinned male raised an eyebrow at him. "What'd she do now?" Realizing his error and cut his eyes back to Ren. "What did you do to her?" Voice turning to a mischievous grin.
"Well, Operation: Arkos part 36527/B in the Vale mall, did not work out as planned and seemed to infuriate her to the point of...wrecking Cardin."
"Again?"
"Again. I was using him for the sub-plot. She's in downtown Vale police office."
"Wait, if you're the cause, wouldn't she have figured it out and just wreck you as soon as you bail her out?" Just giving out his honest opinion. The stoic beside him contemplated matters for a moment before coming to another conclusion.
"On second thought, let's just let her sit there for a while and think about what she's done." Taking that time to lean back even more to rest his arms behind his head. He was at ease now, until noticing his partner's hunched over look in his chair. "Something wrong?"
"If she's in a jail cell, I may be blind but, aren't jail cells you know, made of metal?"
Ren's eyes opened dramatically at the revelation.
"Oh my fucking god..."
Of screen from the 2 a loud crash was heard. Fox visibly paled.
"This is madness!" he yelled before a female voice quickly cut in.
"THIS..IS...REMNANT!"
From the screen, Ren's chair he was occupying was violently kicked over into the air from the side, knocking Fox down with him. A very unmistakable bronze clad leg show fro the side as Pyrrha made her way onto the screen.
"Tu..tune in next time where Pyrrha hopefully won't be so emotionally repressed and taking her feelings out on me." Ren implied from off-screen with a groan.
"Her feelings hurt."
A/N: Random ideas kept me from writing chapter 3 of "The Cowardly Lion", plus these 2 idiots were in my head and wouldn't stop. So I decided to get this out of the way so I can focus on real work.
Ren: What about that 2000+ word Bar AU thing that you wrote last night involving me and Jaune going out to pick up chicks?
A/N: Shut up! I..I didn't write that!
Ren: But it's sitting there in Doc manager, I'm looking right at it-
A/N: La la la la la!
A/N: Anyway, this was on my mind bothering me, had to get it out so I can focus on TCL.
Fox: You're just gonna procrastinate it.
A/N: These two...Also, be warned of changing description of this story, it'll still have CONTINUING on the front! I do read everyone's reviews and your continued support does drive me to write more often to make you guys laugh and be happy!
Sincerely,
Raiken~