Wedlocked
Chapter 15: Limited Time Only
As Friday evening and Hermione's departure time ticked ever nearer, Lavender took to sitting with the girl in the common room. And in the library. And at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. She whispered all manner of encouragements and suggestions; most were ridiculously sentimental, though occasionally they bordered on obscenely vulgar.
"Another thing I once read in a magazine—" Lavender began.
Hermione snapped her book shut. "Excuse me, I need to get a different book," she said abruptly and stood, walking as quickly as she could toward the stairs to the girls' dormitories. She wanted to scream, to cry, to throw something, anything to get the anger and resentment out of her system before she had to face Sirius. None of this was his fault and she refused to take it out on him or his property as she had after their wedding.
A knock came at the door and Ginny popped her head in before Hermione could respond. "What are you doing?"
"Just getting a new book," she said hurriedly, flushing as she dropped down before her bookcase, certain her friend could see through the lie. She dug through her books looking for something to occupy her in the remaining free hours of the afternoon. She had run out of homework to do and textbooks to read, yet she still had two more hours to fill before her final class of the day. Her fingers touched on a familiar cover, a book she read often and enjoyed. It was a Muggle book, but it held some strange sort of magic for her. She tore it from the shelf and dropped onto her bed to read.
"Didn't you just finish that one?" Ginny questioned.
"What? I love this book," Hermione insisted. Opening the cover, she groaned and slammed it shut again.
"Another one?" Ginny asked, her face schooled into polite curiosity though her eyes were burning with glee.
"How does he keep doing that?" she complained and slapped the book down onto her duvet. "I checked them all, but I keep finding more sex manuals."
"Maybe he sneaks in every few days," suggested her friend. "He knows the secret passages from the village, and it isn't hard to find out the password from some of the first years."
Hermione shook her head. Admittedly, she was no expert when it came to her husband's habits, but she knew that Sirius had enough cunning and self-respect to keep him from slipping in to alter the contents of her books just to make her blush. He might have done it once after seeing her reaction to the Kama Sutra, but to continually do it… no, definitely not.
"He's probably added a calendar charm to them or something," Ginny said. "When it reaches a certain date, they shift from one book to the other so you'll be surprised."
"I'm surprised all right," she agreed only half-sarcastically. "It's bad enough I have Lavender on me about my sex life, I don't need my favourite books reminding me, too."
Ginny paused, taking a moment to consider her approach. "Hermione… about this weekend… I got you a present." She pulled a shopping bag from behind her back. The brown paper bag was innocuous, offering no shop logo or brand name. "Fred and George chipped in, but don't worry, they've no idea what they helped me buy. I can't imagine the fallout if they knew I was in this sort of store."
A slight unease filled her. What sort of gift would Ginny need extra money for? What sort of gift would she not want her brothers to know about? Not certain she really wanted to look, Hermione took the offered bag and opened it. Words escaped her as she stared in horrified fascination at the ridiculously girly bits of lace and ribbons Ginny had bought for her.
"It's a belated wedding gift," the girl said.
"That is for me?" Hermione managed to say.
"Well, it's probably more for Sirius, but yes."
Hermione tried to picture herself in… that. The bushy-haired, buck-toothed, know-it-all wearing such sexy lingerie. It was laughable.
"You don't have to wear it," Ginny insisted. "Just take it with you. You never know…"
"I do know," she said, crinkling the top of the bag tightly shut.
Ginny eyed her like a psychiatrist studying a traumatised patient. "Hermione," she said slowly and sat worryingly close to her on the bed. Hermione felt like she was reliving the mortifying afternoon when her mother sat down beside her on the bed to explain what sex was. Considering how much she read, it was no surprise that at ten years old she already knew the scientific theory behind sex, complete with accurate anatomical diagrams of reproductive organs, but to have her mother trying to explain it in awkward pauses and flowery euphemisms turned it from a basic human function into something embarrassing.
That was still how she felt about sex; it was something people did quietly and ought never to discuss publicly.
"I don't want to talk about this," Hermione said flatly.
"I think you need to."
"No, I don't," she said with as much finality as she could muster. "I'm going over there; we're getting drunk and getting it over with."
Ginny all but growled. "Is that really how you want your first time to go? I mean, sure, you wouldn't be the first girl in the world to lose her virginity to too much drink, but that is not the sort of thing you arrange in advance!"
"What else can I do?" Hermione cried. "I don't love him; he certainly doesn't love me."
"Have you tried?"
"Tried what?"
"Have you tried to love him?" Ginny asked. "He's a great bloke. From my point of view, he's got everything you could ever want. He's even properly clever."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yeah, so clever he managed to get framed for murder by an idiot like Pettigrew."
"Don't change the subject," she snapped. "Sirius is perfect for you."
"I wouldn't go that far," Hermione hedged. "But even if he were perfect, I'm not."
"Yes, you are," Ginny soothed. "You just need a little more knowledge and confidence in the bedroom. Maybe that's why he's been transfiguring your books."
"He's been doing that for a laugh since before the amendment," she replied flatly. "It's nothing to do with us really having sex."
Ginny grinned. "Are you sure?"
Hermione shifted uncomfortably on her bed. She really did not know why Sirius had decided to hide all those manuals and treatises inside her books – her most often read books at that, ones she was certain to stumble across frequently. The idea had clearly come to him early in the arrangement since he had bought them months before The Bloody Amendment was passed. Her mouth fell open as she remembered that one of the items on his list of things he enjoyed about married life, though it had been a false boast to shut James up, was that he got his shags. Had he intended to sleep with her all along?
"See," Ginny said smugly, as if she knew precisely what her friend was thinking. "Now, you are going to take my present with you and you are not going to get pissed and shag like some cheap slag."
"It would make it easier," Hermione grumbled as she shoved the lacy under-things to the very bottom of her weekend bag.
"And since when have you been the sort to take the easy route?"
Hermione glanced over at the younger girl, noting with mixed feelings her crossed arms and raised eyebrow. Pride of accomplishment was second only to queasiness as she considered the compliment and challenge that Ginny was laying before her. True, she rarely went for the common path, electing to attend a magical school when her parents begged her to matriculate somewhere normal, to study something they understood, even offering to send her to the most prestigious and expensive school in the region. She stuck to her persistent bossy, know-it-all mannerisms even when she was left friendless because of it. She butted heads with her own best friends when their actions were too stupid or placed them in too much danger. No, Hermione Jean Granger had never elected to walk the easier path, so why should Hermione Jean Black be any different?
Besides, she reasoned, Sirius had managed to get them both absolutely, blind, stupid drunk on their wedding night and nothing had happened outside her removing her own garter. The portrait of James Potter had informed her, with a highly offended and dissatisfied air, that the pair had cuddled and giggled but not so much as a kiss had been shared between them. With her luck running as it was, they would get smashed and do the same all over again, leaving them both in Azkaban because the deadline had run out while they were hanging their heads in their respective toilets.
"I hate Voldemort," she sighed.
"Should I take that as an agreement?" Ginny grinned.
"Yes," replied Hermione curtly, throwing her book into the bag. "Sirius had better be able to turn that back the way it was."
Ginny just kept grinning and left Hermione alone to finish packing, which she did in record time, leaving her with another hour before Arithmancy. Sirius had managed to sneak his manuals into all her favourite books, so she had nothing but sex to read. While she would be loathed to admit it to him or anyone, she had read a few of the books he had magically added to her collection. After the graphic depictions of sex in the Kama Sutra, the other books she stumbled on were far less shocking and carried information that she actually found interesting. She had particularly enjoyed Tara Tember's work on why so-called love potions were incapable of forcing true amorous feelings in the drinker.
Since no one was around to catch her, she picked up Hogwarts: A History and started reading it again. She whiled away thirty minutes, most of which was spent with her head on sideways, wondering if the human body was truly capable of such contortions, before pushing the book into her overburdened suitcase and rushing off to class.
Annoyingly, Professor Vector assigned a page of calculations that Hermione had already completed on her own, so she had nothing to keep her focused in class and ended up running through all the potential scenarios that might present themselves in a few hours' time. None of them seemed likely and all of them featured a Hermione that was far more attractive than she really was. Realising how foolish it was to daydream like this, she turned to the last chapter of the book and found the most complicated calculation to occupy her brain.
"Most impressive, Mrs Black," Vector commented as she passed. "I should think you'll be teaching this course before long. No homework necessary for you, then."
"Oh, no, professor," she fretted. "Isn't there anything more advanced I could practice on?"
"I'll see what I can find for next time," the woman smiled and continued on down the row.
Hermione slumped in her chair. She had been looking forward to having some homework to keep her busy for at least part of the weekend. Now how was she supposed to avoid Sirius? Lying seemed a reasonable option except that she suspected, being a natural-born troublemaker, he would easily see through any fabrication she might concoct.
'Serves you right for doing all your work so quickly,' she scolded herself. 'Now you've no choice but to spend time with him.' It was true, she really ought to have known better than to do all her homework when she knew she would need something to keep her away from Sirius over the weekend. She couldn't even fall back on her books because Sirius would see her reading and know what was really behind the innocent covers.
'Git,' she snarled at him, though he was hundreds of miles away and unaware that she was cursing him. 'Couldn't just leave my things alone, could you? Had to go making fun of me.'
She paused to consider Ginny's earlier suggestion, wondering if perhaps Sirius had really intended to sleep with her since their marriage had been arranged. It seemed unlikely. He had never shown any great affection toward her prior to their engagement, and afterward he treated her no differently. He had never insinuated or suggested or even flat out demanded anything. His hands had never wandered. He only ever kissed her when it was required. All he had done was given her something to read.
'Maybe he wants me to be like my books, all academic on the outside but sexy on the inside,' she thought, her eyes growing wide before she shook the thought away. 'Or maybe he's a git that loves making me miserable.'
She paused, 'Am I miserable, though?'
Yes, she rather thought she was. She stared down at her book for a time, considering the source of her anger and agitation, knowing that no matter how hard she tried Sirius would never be the one at fault. Sneaky sex books notwithstanding, his actions to date had cast him in nothing but a favourable light. He was fine.
'He is fine,' she found herself thinking, some portion of her brain had clearly been affected by Lavender's suggestions and Ginny's needling.
'That is my husband you are talking about!' Hermione protested vehemently and cringed immediately. She was yelling at herself for finding her husband attractive. The Bloody Law was driving her round the bend. That's all there was to it. Even if it meant a portkey directly to Sirius's bedroom, the end of class could not come quick enough after this miniature mental breakdown.
A/N: And so begins our angsty, self-righteous and slightly terrified journey to get into Hermione's pants. I apologize in advance, but believe me when I say it was worse, so much worse. Go find Terrance Rogue and Lalinn and thank them each profusely for cutting 90% of the virginal terror from this fic. They earned some cookies.