Sheik said nothing when Link showed him his tiny house on the edges of the forest, far from any village or city. Oh, he had a lot to say, but he had to pace himself and take one thing at a time.
"I know it's not that much, I fixed it in a hurry. Dark tried to help, but kept misplacing the tools, and falling asleep, and…well, I hope you don't mind spending the night here. We'll get going to the city tomorrow morning."
"It's very nice," he said, and Link sighed in relief.
Sheik looked at the rackety cabin made of wood again. On the left of the door was carved 'Dark wuz hier'. He laughed at seeing that, and Link peered closer.
"Oh, goddesses! Dark! What do you think you're doing?! Zelda could see that!"
"I was booored." Said the shadow from the window of the second floor, which looked like it had been built on a second thought. Dark put down the mirror in his hands and glared down at them. "And that's not important now! You have to tell Oni to turn me back!"
Link scratched his head. "Have you tried turning into a shadow and then back again?"
Dark rolled his eyes. "I have. Twice!"
Link could only shrug at him. The truth was that he didn't mind the change so much, and it made for less paranoia that someone might see Dark and realize that he was a creature of darkness.
"You look fine to me," was the only thing Link could say.
The shadow groaned and threw the mirror down at them. Then he climbed back into the house, and stalked downstairs to the kitchen, where the fierce deity rummaged around the pantry.
"Stop this!" demanded Dark.
Oni Link didn't even deign to acknowledge his presence, and just kept on inspecting jars of honey and bottles of wine.
"That's mine!" cried Dark, trying to grab the bottle, but the deity held it up beyond his reach. "You said you don't eat, so leave my stuff alone!"
"I don't eat," said the deity, walking out of the kitchen, with the jars stil in his hands. "And your rage is unnecessary. The colors of your skin and eyes are only a simple illusion. You have not been changed in the least." he took the jar of honey and threw it to the fire burning in the living room.
"What the fuck are you doing?" asked Dark. "I'm telling Link!"
"I demand sacrifices done in my name," said Oni, and poured the wine over the fire.
"You gods are fucked up. Look, fine, whatever," said Dark, holding Oni's arm and taking the bottle of wine away from him. "You want sacrifices? I'll sacrifice something cool for you. You want really good wine? Virgins? Virgins drinking wine? That's cool, I'll get that shit for you, but stop this skin tone bullshit ok?"
Oni huffed, then held Dark's face, and pressed their foreheads together. Dark blinked, and tried to scream, but found his limbs paralyzed.
Another blink.
Everything around him shone with white light and vanished. He stared at an expanse of white nothingness all around him.
Another blink, and Oni Link stood in front of him.
White.
White hair. White clothes. White eyes. Even the blue and red battle paint in his face had vanished from his porcelain white skin.
"You can now alter your appearance as you please," said Oni, without opening his mouth. His voice seemed to just drift into Dark's head. "I don't want any virgins. Wine and honey is good enough. Blood is good too, but I prefer to shed it myself."
Dark gasped, and looked around. His feet made a splashing sound as he stumbled backwards and fell on the wet white floor. The entire place reminded him too much of his prison at the water temple, and the memory sent a shiver through him.
"W-where am I?" asked Dark Link.
The water on the floor was cold. So cold.
"This is my temple on the moon. I have brought your consciousness here to teach you how to change your appearance," said Oni, kneeling next to him and holding Dark's hand. The shadow's hand was back to it's past dark gray color.
"I wanted something that belonged in the usual range of skin colors for hylians, but also something that wasn't the same tone as the hero's skin, so you wouldn't be uncomfortable," said Oni, and waved a hand over Dark's.
The shadow felt goosebumps down his back, and his skin turned the same tanned dark brown that the gerudo had.
"This," said the deity, touching the soft dark brown of the shadow's skin. "Looked the best with your eyes."
Dark pulled his hand back and examined his skin. Suddenly, he knew what he had to do, and he turned it back to gray. Then to a pale, almost off white.
"I can look like anything?" he wondered aloud.
"Anything that looks like the Hero of Time," said Oni Link. "As I stated, this is not changing what you are, simply the colors that others see in you."
Dark looked down and saw that he could see his reflection on the waters. He could make himself into a copy of Link. A real, perfect copy of him. He would make all the same expressions that he had memorized, and say everything he would say, the way he would say it.
Maybe, even his skin would be hot.
And he could learn how to cry.
He blinked, and saw that Oni had pulled away from him. They were back at the house, and Link stood at the door blushing furiously, while next to him Sheik tried not to giggle.
"Please tell me you two weren't kissing. Please, please tell me you weren't," begged Link, his whole face turning red. "I cannot deal with me making out with other parts of myself."
Sheik snorted and looked away, still trying as hard as he could to not laugh aloud.
"I was teaching him an illusory spell," said the fierce deity, letting go of Dark's face. "He can now look like any shade and color he wants. He could even look like you, if need be."
Dark blinked, and slowly melted into a puddle of shadows on the floor.
He hid in a corner under the couch, and refused to come out all day.