Jack hoped that his mom would get herself clean, and come out of rehab like the version of herself that he always dreamed of. Upbeat and energetic and loving, all without the need to drink around the clock.
In reality, she had to go back to rehab again and again. She would come out and do well for a while. She stayed with Jack for a few days, until her desire for freedom led her to travel around the world and take care of every aspect of her life. Running two companies, dealing with the press, catching dinner with Jack, and pamper herself at a spa.
But eventually it would be too much. Too much energy spent, not enough rest, too much pressure from the media or the investors, and Jack would be called into her house by her assistant.
"Your mom had a bit of a hard day. Could you come see her?" Sarah would ask on the phone, and Jack's heart would sink to the floor.
Then it was back to the shouting and the throwing things around, until Jack could convince her to get help again. He would sit down with her, and tell her that she hadn't failed, and he loved her anyway.
And that was true, but most of the time she refused to believe it.
Still, every time she relapsed, she could last sober longer than the last time, until Jack called her to invite her to his graduation ceremony, and realized that it had been a full year since he had received a call from his mom's assistant. He smiled as he looked at his planner and crossed off the "Call mom" pending item.
"It really took you four years to complete your silly studies?" asked a deep voice next to him, and Jack looked up at Chase.
Jack had noticed him a few times during these last few years. Hanging on the periphery where only Jack's remote sensors could notice him. He hadn't fully trusted him at first, and lived in a paranoid state, setting traps and sensors and having multiple plans of attack and escape.
Even now, his heart jumped with equal parts terror and excitement.
"Ch-Chase, hey," stuttered Jack. "What a surprise to see you here. Weren't you going to, uhm…leave me alone?"
Chase lifted an elegant eyebrow. He wore a black silk changsam with red embroidery.
"I never said that," he said.
A waiter brought a teapot for him. Jack bit his lip and kept his eyes firmly on his own iced mocha.
"I was merely going to forget a few encounters that have already left my mind."
"I see," said Jack, leaning back against his chair.
"You haven't answered my question, Spicer," said Chase. "I would have expected you to take much less time to complete your studies."
Jack shrugged. "I didn't want to take less time," he said. "I did everything as it was expected of anyone else. I wanted to take all the time I was supposed to take. I wanted to see how it would feel."
Chase nodded and took a sip of his tea. Jack stared at the way the light of the setting sun lit sparks of green in his long hair. After four years, Chase hadn't aged a single day. And neither had Jack's feelings for him, if the excited thumping of his heart was any indication.
He made a mental note to restart his studies on the mechanics of how to transplant his consciousness into a robot.
"So, why are you here?" asked Jack. "I know you've been around. It's a bit stalkerish, and now I'm worried."
"You don't seem so. You seemed more worried the first couple years," said Chase. The smell of him reached Jack's nose. Cinnamon, cardamom, and danger.
"That was really stalkerish. Seriously, stop before we get into any more fights. Believe me, I can put up a better fight now," said Jack. He felt a calm confidence that was comfortable but that he had never really paid attention to. It felt as if it had built up inside him, a little at a time, until it could sustain him before the greatest of the Heylin warriors.
"I know you can. I have, as you would put it, stalked you."
"Shit, Chase, come on. You've got to have better things to do that stalk me."
"You still lack focus. I compliment you and you retreat into your childish nervousness," said Chase, setting down his cup. "Does my presence still excite your boyish heart?"
That was more than Jack could take. He could deal with Chase's fist, but he couldn't deal with him stomping all over his feelings.
"I'm leaving," he said, grabbing his notebooks and standing up.
"You're not," said Chase, and Jack found himself sitting down again, held against the chair by an unseen force. "It's good to see your spirit's back, but I would like to continue our little conversation."
Jack swallowed the knot on his throat. He could call forth the miniature battle robots he always carried with him. And he also had his nanobots with him, so as he said, he could put up a good fight.
But they were in a fairly crowded cafeteria, and any battle would injure those around them. He checked for any exit nearby, but even though he was close to the window, there were a lot of people walking down the street outside. He looked back at Chase and found him smirking.
"I have not underestimated you Spicer. And you do not wish to engage me right now. I have less qualms about injuring civilians than you," he said.
"Sure you do," muttered Jack through gritted teeth. "What do you want now?"
"I just wanted to check on your progress," said Chase.
"My progress? Is that what I am to you? Some kind of experiment? Some kind of weapon?" asked Jack.
He had hoped. He had hoped so much that for some reason Chase had decided to care for him. To care about feeling compassion for the fact that Jack had been at his lowest four years ago.
But of course his stupid heart had been too naïve once again. He was nothing more than a future Heylin weapon for Chase. And even that seemed too much to hope for.
Chase narrowed his eyes at him. "I have respect for you, Spicer," he said, his tone a warning in itself. "I don't have respect for weapons, nor experiments."
"I guess so," said Jack. "But still, why? All these years, I've wondered why you didn't kill me right there."
"You thought I would really kill you then?"
"I'm in no delusions about what you are, Chase," said Jack. He had expected to be ripped apart at any moment. Even years after, he still had nightmares about that night, when Chase's gift had turned out to be a slow and torturing death.
He had also had a different kind of nightmare, where Chase's gift had been soft touches and the taste of his lips.
He wasn't sure which dream was worse, and for once he was thankful for the real outcome of that night.
"About what I am? A monster you mean?"
"Hey, if you have a different term for giant warrior lizard, please do tell me," said Jack, trying to hide his fear.
Chase smirked. "How funny. You think I'm a monster ready to kill you, and yet I can hear your heart racing and you're even blushing. Very funny indeed," he said.
If Jack had been blushing, he could feel his face heating and turning completely red. "D-did you come here just to tease me about that?" he hissed.
"Not really. But I find it amusing enough to do it anyway," said Chase, the edge of his lip raising in a slight smile.
"Sounds like the battle against the Xiaolin has gotten far more boring lately," said Jack, letting himself relax against the chair.
There was a 90% possibility that Chase wasn't going to kill him, considering that he had come to see him at a place where Jack wouldn't be able to panic and lash out at him. All things considered, this had to be the most considerate thing Chase had done for him. Just showing up to chat. Even if he was holding him down against his will by means of dark magic.
"When you're an immortal, time is of no matter at all," said Chase.
"Well, I wouldn't know about that. Being a silly mortal, you know?" said Jack, looking longingly at his coffee on the table. He felt the pressure over him fade. "Thanks, I was getting thirsty."
Chase looked out the window. "It's getting late," he said, and the full ridiculousness of their situation hit Jack completely.
Chase wasn't like this. There was something very wrong, and for once Jack couldn't put his finger on it.
Jack took a sip of his coffee. "Chase, what do you want?" he asked of the warlord, his voice a soft whisper. "It's not like you to be so indirect about things."
Chase looked back at him. "It's not, but it's also not like me do what I've come to do."
"If it's not kill me, just you being here is extremely unlike you. So come on, spit it out."
Chase chuckled. "Fine then. Do you still want to rule the world?"
"What? Seriously? Uhmmm…Uhmmm. Geez, what can I say?" said Jack. In truth he wasn't so sure anymore.
"If it's so hard to say anything, I think I have my answer," said Chase.
"It's not…I mean, I don't think I ever did. I don't think I ever fully comprehended what it meant. It just gave me something to look up to. Now…Now, after all these years, I've found that I want to understand it. If I understand the inner workings of the world, I can manipulate it," said Jack, thinking back to all the progress he had done in his research on energy transfer, robotics, and all kinds of sciences. He had even dabbled on medicine, and linguistics, making connections with his current experiments, and he had notebooks full of designs for robots and software that he wanted to try. It was as if the world was full of all kinds of knowledge that Jack was desperate to consume. He could consume all the knowledge in the world and then create more and more. "You wouldn't understand it. Hell, I don't think I'm even explaining it that well."
"I understand desire. And the desire for knowledge was always the most…redeeming part of you," said Chase, getting up. "I expected you to submit to me. Completely. I even thought of offering you the Lao Men Long soup, to keep you forever. But the temptation of having infinite time to pursue all the knowledge in the world might be too much for you. And I like your answer more than what I had hoped for."
Jack felt himself turning red again. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to say something, anything, but he was speechless.
To keep you forever
That might have been a love confession coming from Chase, and his mind had short circuited from the shock.
Chase smirked, and held Jack's jaw, pulling his face up to look at him. "You have…potential," he said, his thumb caressing Jack's cheek.
In Jack's dreams, he would kiss him. In Jack's dreams he would tell him that he wanted to keep him forever because he loved him. And then he would kiss him.
In reality, he let go of him and turned away. "I'll be around," he said, and disappeared amidst a cloud of black smoke, sending everyone in the cafeteria into a terrified panic.
But that was more than Jack needed. And far more than he had ever let his heart hope for.
He stood up on unsure legs, and looked out the window to the world outside.
It was his world, whether it knew that or not.
As he picked up his notebooks, he remembered his father's list that he always carried with him. He felt that, now, he would be able to cross off the last item.
Because he would finally go on, no matter what happened.
On his own.