Amnesia
Chapter 23: Punch Me, I'm Your Friend
Sakura's eyes widened as she looked back at Inoichi. She couldn't speak. She wasn't even sure that this was real. Such a display of power at the smallest of actions; it had been completely out of her control. Yet this had been what she was trying to regain from the moment she woke up, this strength that she had apparently been known for. It was completely destructive.
It was clear, as she marvelled at her strength, she wasn't going to break the silence and so Inoichi finally said, "You've not lost your skills; you've just lost the ability to control them."
"Please do that again," she said in a small voice, still in shock.
"I doubt I could, it wouldn't have the same effect."
She tried to flex her feet, her fingers, all the muscles around her body, trying to recreate the feeling that had just surged through her.
Inoichi watched her closely. "Tsunade and I, we believe your abilities are still there, but that you've lost the conscious link to control them. The mind is a very strange place – unconscious actions of habit are not so easily lost. You are a very emotional person, Sakura. I'm sorry, but I was lying. I don't believe you are pretending you can't recall your past for attention. All I did was play on your insecurities, your good intentions, to bring out that anger and..." he gestured to his broken garden.
She looked at him, hopeful as she asked, "Can you fix me? My brain?"
"I'm no doctor. Rational people will tell you that brain damage cannot be fixed, but I'm someone who has a lot of faith in the power of a human mind."
"You are as manipulative as your daughter; I see where she gets it from."
He smiled.
She shook her head slowly, thinking about all the time she had spent trying to achieve this. "I should have come months ago."
"Tsunade thought it best for you to come when you really wanted to progress with your amnesia. You were so grateful for your friends when you heard what I had to say. Your anger is very protective; it always has been."
Sakura couldn't quite picture that. The only real anger she had experienced since waking up from her coma was that of Sasuke's. And Sasuke's anger was vindictive and scary. "Just anger will have this effect?"
"We think any strong emotion: love, anger, pain, sadness, fear and even an unconscious desire, could be a way to relearn chakra control."
Her mind was quick to jump to medical chakra. Even though the power she just displayed was monster-like, the ability to heal would outweigh any damage she could ever do, had ever done, surely – physically or mentally.
"And what about my memories? Do you think emotion can bring them back?"
"For some people, emotion is a trigger to powerful things, but it doesn't make miracles. If you're sure you want to remember, keep trying, Sakura."
Sakura frowned. "What do you mean?"
"There is a lot of uncertainty within your memories, it's like you're afraid of your past self. It must be tough to work towards something so life-altering without knowing just how it is going to change you.
"All I'm saying is, don't try so hard to find something if you're not sure that you want it, and if you do want it, try harder."
Could she really try any harder than she already had been doing? She had put herself in danger, read entire bookshelves on the brain, she had worked so hard to try and recall her past. She had forced herself through emotional hell worrying over her state of mind. It was almost an insult to claim she could have wanted it more, yet the thought still made her uneasy.
"You think if I want and try as hard as I can, I'll just remember? That simple?"
"Is that simple?"
She bit her lip. "Perhaps not."
Sakura's head was pounding rhythmically by this point, and it wasn't just because her mind had been invaded – it was taking all this in. Change was a mighty thing.
As she stood there with Ino's father, she didn't know how she was supposed to feel. She looked around the cracked ground, her eyes settling on the fractured stone of a once beautiful statue that she had broken into pieces.
"I'm sorry about your garden," she said, not taking her eyes of the mess she had caused.
Inoichi was calm in all this, happy even, carefully observing her. He said everything with a comforting smile. "Don't worry about it... Ino hated that statue."
It wasn't long after Sakura left the Yamanaka's house that Ino ran after her. Ino was in a cheerful mood as she called out, "Sakura, you owe us money, that statue you broke was pretty expensive!"
Sakura stopped walking and turned to wait for her friend to catch up. "Your dad said you hated it."
"Still, I probably could have sold it."
"Sorry."
Ino immediately dropped the banter. "What's wrong?"
"I know I've been trying really hard to regain my abilities, but they're quite destructive aren't they?"
Ino's eyebrows shot up. "Have you seen the world we live in? Sometimes you need a bit of power like that. You're terrifying, Sakura, but I think it's great. Girl power like that... it really sets some people straight. And it's great fun to wind you up to break things, you know, as long as I'm not in the way when you do."
"Have I ever hurt you?"
"Are you kidding? You're way too morally-inclined to really hurt your friends."
"As long as that power is in the hands of good people then?"
"Yeah. But it's also in the hands of bad guys, so we need ninjas, like you and Naruto, to save the world. Speaking of your boyfriend, where is he today?"
"Naruto's on a patrol with Kakashi. Since I had work to do today, he's searching for the other end of Sasuke's tunnel."
Ino smirked. "And who said you can't work and date, huh? I told you that was always a lame excuse."
Sakura rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah..."
They made their way to the Hokage. Ino chatted away, aware that Sakura wasn't quite in the right mindset to hold a conversation, but needed something other than silence.
Sakura was grateful that Ino didn't push her to share her thoughts any more. What her best friend said was true. The world they lived in was a dangerous place, and the people most important to them were right in the middle of it all. Strength like Sakura had could be a great asset – the most important thing was to get it under control. She didn't want to hurt anyone accidentally.
"Naruto found the other end of the tunnel," Tsunade announced as they entered.
A swell of pride and relief surged through Sakura. Naruto had done it. Of course he had. Now at a minimum, they could protect themselves from Sasuke's anger. And really, that's what their abilities were all about, right? Her strength could protect people, the people she loved the most.
"And Sakura destroyed my garden! These two make a great couple, don't they?" Ino grinned at the Hokage.
"I did get really mad and crack the ground open," Sakura admitted. "Inoichi manipulated my emotions, like you two had planned. It worked. I haven't managed to replicate it yet, or control it, but if I manipulate my emotions and force myself to control chakra, I could learn to control it properly, right? Doing it enough, I should eventually be able to learn in reverse, like I tried before."
"It's the most promising theory we've had so far," Tsunade agreed.
What finally kicked Sakura to be excited about this was that her mentor had a spark in her eyes and the smallest hint of a smile on her face. Tsunade believed this one enough and that made Sakura giddy on the inside. She wouldn't stop until she gained back her skills, even if she had to do it in an unconventional way, it would be so, so worth it. Control was important and if she could do it right, this could be a great thing.
"I love this plan," Ino commented. "I love winding you up."
It was also safe to say that Ino was in a great mood as well.
"It's got to be real anger," Sakura added, less enthusiastic at the idea of Ino helping.
"Easy." Ino flicked her hair over her shoulder with purpose. "Then we want to trigger your medical chakra and find out how that ticks."
"I've controlled it in my sleep. The other time I was in tears, so worked up that I blacked out afterwards."
"Crying." Ino nodded thoughtfully before grinning. "You are going to be the most emotionally wound-up medical ninja in history. You'll seem crazy."
So she would seem a bit mad. Her chakra levels might be hard to control. But she would have the ability to do something good – she wanted that more than anything.
"Ino, I don't care."
"Not so fast," Tsunade warned, "we won't start with medical chakra, that's much more complicated. It's imperative we take this slowly, it's still no safe guarantee. Let's take it one step at a time, and let's start by making Konoha a little safer. Time to cover up that seal."
Ino joined the usual three medics to see what they had been working on down in the labs. The blonde was a lot more serious when she stepped in the room, when they discussed Sasuke. Sasuke had that affect on all her friends, it wasn't just her, Sakura noted.
They had crafted a substance that didn't activate until it reacted with a liquid – in this case, blood. Therefore it would last for a very long time, reducing the need to watch the entrances. Tsunade was going to apply it over the seal, and if it was ever triggered, the slow breakdown chemical would eventually incapacitate the target. They'd trap Sasuke if he ever entered their hometown again, and at a minimum, if he noticed the trap, prevent him from using the tunnel.
"Do you really think it'll work?" Sakura asked as she stared down at their completed work.
"The main thing is that Konoha is safer," Tsunade answered. "Sasuke will not be easy to trick, but it's an extra defence."
Sakura nodded.
Tsunade continued, "The next most important thing was that we got to spend more time together and work on a project. We didn't think we'd finish it so quickly."
Shizune nodded in agreement, a sad smile across her features.
"I'm still up for learning with you both. Besides, we can work on my chakra control now, right?" Sakura smiled hopefully.
She felt so much purpose around these women, in this setting. They just needed a new project to keep them occupied – and Sakura was enough of a project.
Tsunade smiled back. "We're going to need your team's help, too."
Sakura's features lit up – she couldn't wait to reacquaint herself with her team. She finally had the perfect excuse. She would need their help. She needed people who knew her, who could manipulate her (and preferably, she wanted people who could move away from her as quickly as possible).
Gathering the team was easy. There was a visceral excitement surrounding her friends. They all knew what she had achieved at Ino's place. On top of that, Naruto had made a breakthrough with Sasuke and Tsunade herself was going to seal the Uchiha's entrance into Konoha. Everything was going well. She was happy.
"So, Sakura, what's the plan?" Captain Yamato asked her with a barely contained smile – they all had the same expressions, buzzing with as much purpose and hope as she was feeling running through her veins.
She explained what Inoichi had done and said to her, manipulating her protective instincts in a way that made her whole body lurch in anger. She needed to keep feeling the power, the movement of chakra through her until she could replicate it on her own.
However, little to her surprise, her team was hesitant to shout out abuse in order to wind her up. They didn't want to emotionally wound her. They were just as protective of her as she was of them.
"Perhaps I should find Sasuke," she mused.
"So you can abandon us again?" Sai asked.
Her head snapped towards him. Abandon?!
"Sai," Naruto warned.
"No," Sakura interrupted, "go on, Sai."
"No, Sakura-chan, I don't like this plan. We can find another way. We don't have to lie and hurt you emotionally to-"
"I'm not lying," Sai said, turning away from her and smiling at Naruto in a way that only infuriated the blond more. "If Sakura goes after Sasuke she often offers to go along with him, abandoning you."
OK. This was not going to make her angry. It was going to make her sad. She couldn't defend her past self like she had protected her current motives to Inoichi. Sasuke was a weak spot in her conscience. The idea of abandoning and hurting her friends made her want to curl up in a ball and cry.
Naruto could see this; one look at her and he was not going to accept another word out of Sai's mouth. He looked at Sai, who was still smiling, and clenched his fists so tightly, ready to fight.
Kakashi placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder, and the boy looked over his shoulder at his teacher.
And in that moment, when Naruto's guard was down, Sai struck – or at least he tried to.
Sakura was in front of Naruto, gripping Sai's wrist midair, before Sai could land a finger on her boyfriend.
She wasn't even angry. She was feeling quite fragile even as she stared Sai down, but she would not let Sai hurt Naruto for defending her – for anything at all for that matter.
Then Kakashi spun Naruto around with the hand already on the boy's shoulder and lifted his own fist in an attempted strike and Sakura's other hand shot up, she blocked the attack, catching the masked man's wrist in a tight grip also. Her eyes widened, she barely registered her own movement it was that fast.
Kakashi chuckled. "It looks like all we need to do is beat Naruto up and have you instinctively protect him."
Naruto stood there awkwardly by her side, looking between her and his other teammates who had both tried to punch him.
"No you won't." She frowned.
"If it helps you, Sakura-chan." Naruto rubbed the back of his head.
"No."
"I don't think it's just Naruto, I think she'd have this protective instinct over others too, like young children," Yamato said, walking in front of them and surveying their stances.
"Are you suggesting we should punch young children?" Sai questioned.
She gripped Sai's wrist a little harder, so hard he winced. No hurting people.
Naruto glared at Sai. "What are you suggesting? That Sakura-chan treats me like a child?"
Sai smiled at him through his discomfort. "Yes."
"Don't let him wind you up, Naruto," Sakura told him, still not letting either of her friend's wrists go. She didn't quite trust them not to strike again. She briefly glanced at Yamato in front of her, who raised an eyebrow at the look – he seemed a kind man, she wasn't sure he had it in him to surprise attack a friend.
Naruto turned to face her, standing up tall and taking a step towards her, filling her view with a pouting expression. "But-"
To her credit, she thought she felt the ground vibrate, and she had thrown both wrists in her hands down and attempted to reach up and grab Naruto as he was flung into the air with a yelp as wood sprung through the ground and knocked him upwards.
As the sentient wood retracted back into the ground, her view cleared and she saw Yamato stood there with his hands together in a seal. She glared at him and he braced himself.
They heard Naruto falling before they saw him and she looked up and held out her arms, catching the boy with ease.
"Are you okay?" she asked him, searching his face for pain.
He gave her a goofy smile. "I'm perfect."
"You're as light as a feather."
Naruto was all heart eyes and dreamy sighs as he looked up at her. "I feel it."
"Can you feel yourself controlling chakra, Sakura?" Kakashi asked her.
Her eyebrows knitted together in concentration and she closed her eyes. She felt ready for anything as she stood there. An energy was running through her but it was just present on its own, without her consent. "I don't think about controlling it," she admitted.
She held Naruto a little tighter to her chest. If she didn't get this, they could try and hurt Naruto further. That wasn't fair. That wasn't right.
"Typically I can stop someone punching Naruto, yet I can't stop shishou when she threw a book at my head," she mutters, "I don't feel like I'm the one making the decision to act."
"That was a long time ago, look at what you've achieved now, you're improving," Yamato said.
She opened her eyes again and looked at her friends. They were all smiling at her. They were all so hopeful, and if she read the eyes of the two oldest right... proud.
She was unwilling to let Naruto go, and he wasn't bothered at all by that fact.
"I'm a mess," she said. "I feel so inconsistent."
"We'll practice regularly. Give you some consistency," Yamato suggested.
"And don't worry, Sakura, you're not the biggest mess here," Kakashi told her.
"Yeah," Naruto agreed, but then he looked at Kakashi and frowned. "Wait! Are you talking about me?"
"Clearly," Sai answered.
And they all laughed. She laughed too, enough to quell Naruto's anger and make him join in.
With a melancholic smile, she finally placed Naruto down on his feet and stretched back upwards to look at her team. "I feel like I've missed this."
"We all have," Kakashi told her and placed a hand on her shoulder.
She looked at his hand, having been reminded of his earlier attack on Naruto. "Then let me train with you. Attack me."
His hand slackened slightly.
"If you are my friend, you will try and punch me," she told him. She looked over her shoulder and met his eyes, determined. "I can take it. For your information, I heal myself when I'm attacked and the more I feel chakra the better, defensive or offensive."
Sai stepped up to the plate, and to her chagrin, she wasn't ready. She felt the pain first, his fist connecting with her face as she was forced from Kakashi's weakened grip in one clean attack. She fell to the ground and winced.
She grumbled out a "thank you" as she sat up and rubbed her aching cheek.
It didn't matter that she had literally asked for it, Naruto wasn't impressed. He was on Sai, angry and swearing and Sai was taunting and brutal back.
As she sat there, she was trying to be angry at herself, at the unknown forces against her and she felt stupid for not being able to get this... but the battle between Naruto and Sai angered her more. The fight looked painful and when she caught sight of blood running down Naruto's cheek she stood up. "That's enough."
They didn't listen, even Naruto didn't listen. He kept defending her for the smallest of things. It upset him that she would ever be the tiniest bit hurt. At least Sai was willing to hurt her to help her, the sting of her cheek proved that. But if she couldn't get her act together it didn't matter how much he hurt her. She was going to get nowhere.
She was going to cause this.
Disagreements. Fights – physical fights.
Her eyes tracked the boys' punches and kunais, their spitting and hitting. It wasn't even a training session. This fight was completely about her.
"Stop it," her voice was deadly calm, but there was something to it that made Kakashi and Yamato take a step back as she stepped forwards.
Naruto and Sai didn't hear her – if they did, they chose to ignore her demand.
Perhaps there was some conscious thought in this movement now, the pure want for them to stop hurting each other, as she swung her fist down into the ground and cracked it open right in between them. Both boys were flung backwards and landed on the ground either side of her man-made hole.
She was still angry as she looked between them. "Stop fighting each other like this! Naruto, I asked him to hit me. Sai, stop winding him up."
She noticed Sai wince as he sat up and brushed small bits of dirtied rock down his arm. Then she spotted the blood and sprinted over to him, kneeling by his side. His left arm was quite badly cut. She studied it tentatively. If only she could use medical chakra. She was pretty decent at first aid and bandaging though.
She reached into her bag she had clipped onto her belt before she came here. She was getting into the habit of carrying medical supplies with her. The additional weight just felt right attached to her hip. Plus, a training session with her boys... did sound like someone would get hurt at some point.
"I know it's stupid," she told Sai, "but I don't like you hurting each other."
"I was holding up my arm to protect myself from the flying rocks," Sai answered matter-of-factly.
She paused. "I did this?"
He nodded and let her probe around his wounds.
"I'm sorry."
"We're friends," he stated simply and she met his eyes.
She gave him a weak smile. "Yes we are."
"We push each other to bring out the best in ourselves."
She nodded and concentrated on the injury again, reaching into her pack and pulling out a spray for open cuts.
"It's true," Kakashi said as he approached. "We make each other bleed, swear, and we improve as a team. You can't train together if you don't strike with the intention to kill."
"You've put us in hospital several times," Yamato added. "We've put you in hospital before, too."
Kakashi smiled at her. "And yes, that angered Naruto even then."
She glanced behind them at Naruto. He was sat there – she could see blood running down his face from a cut on his cheek – with the widest grin as he stared at the ground she had just smashed to pieces.
This destructive power... she would utilise it to help these people. Even if she had to hurt them a little bit in order to protect them.
They practiced well into the evening until they were all exhausted and bleeding. At first, the sight of an injury had made her want to pause, but she forced herself onwards. She forced herself not to care, even when Naruto took a hit – and he was always quick to get back on his feet, they all were, probably more so than usual, to make sure she didn't have the time to stop and worry.
Her defences were awkwardly unpredictable. It was a roulette for whoever who was attacking her, for whoever was deemed her teammate for each sparring session. She would take hits, give punches and dodge kicks, seemingly at random. She was desperately trying to correlate feeling the power and dishing it out and controlling it. It was like a word on the tip of her tongue, she knew it was there, she knew that it was somewhere deep in her brain, but she couldn't for the life of her say it out loud.
Even the pain she was feeling was erratic. She understood the medical chakra working in tandem with her normal chakra as she fought but she was struggling to grasp that as well. Sometimes it seemed to numb her pain, other times it surely wasn't helping at all.
Manipulating her emotions did seem to cause reactions too – little spoken jibs here and there really got under her skin and she swore they made her more powerful and accurate.
Kakashi took a strong kick when he was stood right next to her and he skidded along the ground. He looked up at her as she caught an elbow from Yamato that almost hit her in the face. "I think you could have stopped that kick, Sakura, ouch."
With a frustrated growl, she tripped Yamato off balance with her leg and swung him far over her shoulder. She observed just how far she managed to throw the man even as he twisted in the air and landed on his feet, but she was still mad that she hadn't protected Kakashi from the attack before. She seemed to punch Naruto without even looking as he tried to sneak up and grab her. Sai approached her too and she just glared at him, waiting for a punch from her friend.
"I think that's enough for the night," Yamato said.
"I'm ready for more," she grumbled.
"We're old, Sakura," Kakashi said as he walked back towards her. "We don't have as much stamina as you youth."
"Well then the youth can continue."
"We can practice tomorrow," Yamato argued. "The earlier we go to bed now, the earlier in the morning we can try again."
She sighed, finally letting her shoulders dip and relax. She should have been proud of this admittedly inconsistent progress, and she was exhausted. "All right."
"I'll walk you home, Sakura-chan!" Naruto offered enthusiastically and was in front of her with a wide smile before he had even finished his sentence.
"Actually, Naruto, I'd like to walk you home," Yamato said.
Naruto frowned. "I'd rather walk Sakura-chan home..."
"Come on now, Naruto," Kakashi said and dragged the boy along the grass.
"But-"
She smiled at him. "It's OK, Naruto. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight."
Their teachers encouraged Naruto along with them and she continued to smile at his reluctance to go with them instead of her.
"Can I walk you home instead?" Sai asked.
"Of course you can, Sai..." She looped her arm around his, wincing slightly at a cut on her arm she didn't know was there, and they began walking back to her apartment together.
"You seem to be making progress," Sai said eventually, breaking their silence.
"I seem to be, I guess. The lack of control is pretty frustrating."
"I think you're doing well," he told her.
She checked her hip to his and said, "Thanks, Sai."
It didn't take long for them to reach her apartment. She would have invited her teammate in, but was shattered and planned on going straight to bed. She unlocked her door and looked at her friend, who was already taking steps away from her. "Hey, Sai..."
He paused and looked back at her. "All those things you were saying earlier, about me abandoning you guys..."
"I was saying what you needed to hear," he told her.
She couldn't help but frown slightly. "It's not true?"
"You never planned to abandon us," he answered, and his smile was back.
She nodded. The silence got a little awkward, and so she said, "I wonder why Yamato and Kakashi wouldn't let Naruto walk me home tonight."
"He had an injury they were going to make sure he got checked."
Her eyes widened. "Oh... I'm glad you guys all look out for each other." When I'm not capable of doing so, when I, the medic, miss that my boyfriend had an injury bad enough that it should be checked.
As if reading her thoughts of self-hate, he added, "You didn't cause it. Naruto was hiding it in the last couple of minutes of the spar."
And she had kept telling them all to carry on...
"Kakashi and Yamato will sort him out. Goodnight, Sai. Thank you for today."
He watched her closely and then he smiled again. "See you tomorrow, Sakura."
She entered her apartment and locked it. She stood there, tapping her head to the back of the door.
She was too tired to think, physically and mentally exhausted from her training session with her team, from all the effort she was putting in, from all the emotions she let run her and all the emotions she tried to suppress. It was probably good, because if she had a little more energy she would likely be spending it on scorning herself for missing Naruto's injury and all her other mess-ups today, too. Sai's words also made her uneasy...
Sakura didn't bother turning on any lights. She skipped dinner, forgoing the shower and without changing into her pyjamas, she dragged herself to bed and collapsed on top of the covers, falling asleep almost as soon as she hit the mattress.
It was cold and snowy and she was stressed and emotionally exhausted.
"I love you, Naruto... Sasuke doesn't mean anything to me anymore."
"If this is some kind of joke, it's not funny, Sakura-chan..."
No. No. She didn't want to see this. She didn't want to see it. She didn't want to be in this headspace ever again.
"I finally see you... I mean it from the bottom of my heart, I love you."
"Cut it out, Sakura-chan! I told you, this isn't funny. I hate people who lie to themselves!"
The world around her warped. She was even more tired now, but she was determined.
"Sasuke-kun! I'm abandoning Konoha and coming with you!"
NO! No no no.
"Are you really willing to betray Konoha for me?"
"Yes, if that's what you want me to do..."
"Hmph... then prove it."
Sakura shot up in bed, ripping herself out of her dream so fast she got headrush. The room was still dark and she was still tired but she didn't let herself lie back down.
Sai was telling the truth originally... She was always offering to go with Sasuke, betraying her friends, hurting Naruto. Messing up constantly.
She pushed herself out of her bed, ignoring her dizzy head, uncaring for the slight imbalance as she stumbled into her bathroom. She turned on the small light and looked in the mirror. She was still dirty from her training session. She still looked tired, felt tired. There was even a bit of dry blood on her cheek and cuts and bruises all over the place... She hadn't healed herself in her sleep. After that flashback maybe she didn't deserve to be fixed.
However, her kind team were unlikely to spar with her again if she turned up looking beaten and battered. She dragged herself into the shower, stripping off as she went, and turned on the water, trying to make herself presentable to fight with her team. Unlocking her strength... righting wrongs... protecting her friends... she would make up for all the mistakes of her past. She was a better person now.
Sakura turned up early to the training grounds. Hours early. The sun wasn't up yet and honestly neither was she. She yawned and wiped at her eyes. She had dragged her tired body here to spare herself from her thoughts, but with no friends to distract her from her own mental beating she wasn't much safer here.
She trudged through the training grounds, looking at all the telltale signs of sparring from yesterday evening. She recognised every hole in the ground that she had caused. Her lack of control over her emotions was a messy thing. If she could be calculating and control herself, she could be so much more substantial as a person.
She reached passed the training fields and sat down at the first tree of a forest behind. She took a deep breath and scanned her eyes across the grounds again. In the dark, even the destruction had a peace to it. She closed her eyes for a moment...
...and woke up in the morning, the sun having begun rising in the sky.
She felt a lot better than earlier, a stress had been clinging to her body that she couldn't quite shake - it was still there, but it was a faint buzz compared to before her nap.
She realised why she was feeling better when she looked to her left and found Naruto sleeping by her side. The idiot had found her and curled up right by her. All the pain she had caused him in the past and he was still always at her side, even when she was dreaming. She reached up and stroked his face, smiling slightly. She kissed him on the forehead and pulled back to see him opening his eyes.
"Morning, Sakura-chan..."
"Morning... Are you okay?"
"Mmhmm."
"Not still injured?"
Naruto blinked. "Huh?"
"Last night. Kakashi and Yamato dragged you to the hospital, Sai told me."
He woke up a little bit more as he realised she knew. "I was fine! I told them that! Granny fixed me in a second. I would much rather have walked you home."
She smiled at him and nodded. "I know you would, but that kind of thing isn't funny. Don't lie to yourself, get it sorted."
Before he could say anything she pushed herself up off the ground and dusted her gloved hands off. "Want to get started?"
"The guys will be here in a minute. Kakashi was late so Yamato and Sai went to look for him."
Sakura started limbering up, stretching out her muscles, some of which still felt sore from yesterday. She was itching to go, itching to fight, to feel the adrenaline, to feel the pain and power again.
She was impatient, about to ask Naruto if they could start again as her other three teammates walked towards them. She straightened as she saw them approach. "Let's go!" she called as they got closer.
"You look defeated before we've even begun, Sakura," Kakashi said with a hint of worry in his tone.
"I'm fine. Someone hit me."
Much to her her irritation, they all paused.
"Free-for-all today?" she suggested.
"We could do," Yamato agreed slowly.
"Three, two, one, go!" she urged.
They were still hesitating and she was about to strike first when Sai launched himself at her. Some kind of switch flicked as she recognised him coming towards her. She dodged his punch, kneed him in the stomach and punched him in return so hard that he flew far, far away from her.
Finally, Kakashi attacked her as well and she jumped back before going on the offensive, swinging punches and kicks at him, barely missing each time, forcing him back almost into the trees. She grazed him once and he went flying. Then she was smashing through a wooden beam, and several of Naruto's clones, on a roll until nobody stood before her.
Even though there was no human in front of her to attack she just kept moving. She could feel it with every stroke of anger, of sadness, of determination and then she could feel it with every powerful strike, the surge of energy, in the swing of her fist against the ground, in the strength of her kick as she smashed the trees, in the middle of her forehead against the next trunk... She had found her control and she didn't want to stop her shattering strength or blazing will to sort herself out, the world out.
Until, finally, lungs screaming for air and breath coming short, she stopped her rampage and rested her hands on her knees, bent double in an attempt to breathe easier.
She might have just mastered her chakra control. Medical chakra was still a mystery to her but she was fifty times as determined to get that right.
She straightened, turned around and saw the path of destruction behind her... and then she saw her friends stood watching her.
With a tight smile, she walked towards them.
"I think I've got my chakra under control."
Author Notes:
But perhaps not herself under control! I wasn't supposed to be going down the Rabbit Hole again in terms of Sakura's mental stability and the positivity of this story. The first part of the chapter was written months ago, the middle part was planned years ago and the end just wrote itself now.
I said in the last author notes I only had 5k words of prewritten notes and scenes left that apply to points that might happen in Amnesia. I still have nearly 4.6k words left of notes so I barely got through any in this chapter. It sort of wrote itself. I was thankful for that because I struggled to get into the chapter but then, as always, it eventually took off.
I had to look up bits of the manga to quote for that short dream scene but my heart is really not in the manga anymore, even bits I used to enjoy. I can still get into these characters though. I don't know what's happened to the fandom, whether you all still read this kind of fanfiction, but thanks to those who have stuck with me.
I was tempted to write more before I posted this chapter, or leave it a little while before I re-read it and posted it, but I can't believe it's been just over four months since I last updated. I must have blinked and time travelled into the future. I hope you're all well.
Thanks for reading.