It's the sixth.

"I've felt paper cuts and bruised knees;

sunburns and runny noses.

But oh dear,

there is not a greater pain in my life,

than the pain I feel in my heart

everyday as I wake up,

to the thought

that I love you twice as much today

as I did yesterday,

and you still

have not an ounce of love

for me."

"You wouldn't."

Ruby flashed me a wolfish smile, "I totally will, and you know it."

I couldn't remember laughing so hard as Ruby rolled the top of the red convertible down, cranked up the radio to maximum level, and wailed the outrageously inappropriate to some trashy rap song. The looks we received from passerby's were priceless as we approached a stoplight. I had to hand it to Ruby, she knew how to have a good time.

Our antics died down and she rolled up the top, attempting to run her hands through her unruly hair, "God, I must look like fucked everyone in the building and I haven't even gotten to work yet!"

I laughed and pushed her hands into her lap, "Your fault for not tying up your hair. Here, let me."

I ran my hands over and through her hair to tame the strands. After it looked presentable I took a spare hair tie from my wrist and leaned over to tie it back. "I know, but it's a convertible! Don't you feel constricted?"

I laughed in response, only noticing our proximity when I felt her warm breath against my collarbone.

"I guess you're not the type to."

Surprised at the reference, I finished the pony and leaned back, surprised to find intense blue eyes staring back at me. I felt the shift in mood and stayed quiet, knowing that look meant something.

"Em, I...I think we should give us a shot. Another one." Damn, this light is long.

I couldn't quite wrap my head around what she was saying; "You... what?"

Ruby is fun, smart, beautiful, and every other thing you could want in someone. Which is why one drunken night a while back I let things escalate to the point of no return. We had just moved in and sworn to keep it a secret from Mary Margaret to keep her from feeling like a third wheel. It hadn't been serious; at least, I hadn't thought so, but Ruby had different ideas. After a while she admitted she didn't know what we were. We were lots of things; roommates, best friends, lovers. But one thing we weren't was dating, and she hadn't liked that.

I had told her after the first time that I didn't do commitment. I just didn't. Never did, and I thought she didn't either. But she was so real, so unexpectedly genuine, that I really believed we had a chance. But I was wrong. I'm still wrong, because I'm considering her suggestion. I know I'll probably never feel what I felt in that dream. You know why? I've been trying for 10 years. I can't love. She was the closest I could get in a really, really long time, and that was no small feat; but it wasn't enough. I tried to make it work, and I didn't understand why it wouldn't. She was perfect for me, but at the same time she wasn't.

"Ruby I-"

She cut me off, determination clear in her eyes, "Emma, listen. I love you. And it kills me everyday that I never see that feeling in your eyes for me. But I feel, I really feel, that you could. I feel like if you just gave us some more time-"

A loud honk interrupted her and she sped up to the green light. I waited for her to continue, but she didn't; a habit I was beginning to find annoying. She kept her eyes strictly on the road and I took a moment to think about what she had just told me. She loved me. I suppose I had known that before, but this had come as a surprise. Ever since we broke up, she hasn't shown one sign of still being interested in me romantically. Why now? I kept thinking about the woman in the Rabbit Hole, and what I felt when I looked into her eyes. It was false, a delusion. But what if Ruby was right? What if I, we, could feel that way?

I chanced a look at her. Her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, her mouth set in a grim line as we pulled into the parking lot.

"Ruby?" I whispered, just loud enough for her to hear.

She stopped the car and looked at me for the first time in minutes. I saw the tears threatening to spill from blue irises and rested my hand atop her's on the gear. Before I could stop myself, I leaned up and placed the sweetest of kisses on her lips, letting it serve as an answer in itself. It felt nice to kiss her again; to kiss anyone again. I hadn't been in a relationship in the two years since Ruby, and the rare occasions I had one night stands I refused to let them kiss me.

I enjoyed the way her lips moved against mine; but I didn't enjoy the blossom of guilt I couldn't seem to shake.

"Morning Emma!"

"Morning, Ash."

I greeted the small blonde chef at the counter as I took her only dish. It was just opening hours, which meant there was about a half an hour before the restaurant got busy. I had just delivered the dish and came back to get another when I noticed the little calendar beside the kitchen door. It held a prominent number 6 on today's page, and I gulped. When I had kissed Ruby, it had felt wrong. No, not wrong per say, just like...I was missing something. I've never been one to question my intuition because it's always done right by me in life. I thought of it as the gift of self-reliance. But I have reason to question it this time; a dream? Really?

Throughout the day I couldn't focus. I kept confusing orders, forgetting to mention specials, and wasn't as chatty with the customers. So I wasn't surprised my tips were significantly less than usual. I wasn't even upset, just nervous. Ruby had planned Mary Margaret's trip to the Rabbit Hole weeks in advance, and I couldn't stop obsessing over the dream. And if it was right we would be leaving for the club at ten; exactly six hours from now. Would it be the same? Would Mary Margaret even feel up to going after what happened with James?

"Hey Em."

I jolted when I felt arms snake around my torso and paused gathering my things in the empty staff room. I turned to see Ruby looking down at me, and was very aware of the contact between us. The long hair she had just let down tickled my face and blocked out my peripheral vision. I felt her press me into the expensive ebony table behind us and had a strange sense of deja vu as I remembered doing this before, when we had been caught by Mary Margaret.

She giggled, "Whaddya know? I scared the big bad Emma Swan."

Before I could object she captured my lips in her own, and I felt the kisses go from soft to fevered in a matter of seconds. I couldn't stop it, I was addicted. I could feel her love when she kissed me, when she hugged me, when she touched me; and I couldn't get enough. I had never been loved as a kid; sure there was the occasional fond foster family, a few dearly missed friends, a few quick flings with a nice guy here and there. But no one ever loved me.

"Ruby..." I had meant to tell her this was a completely inappropriate time and place to be doing this, that this was a top of the line restaurant, that anyone could walk in. But I didn't.

My back arched into her touch as she untucked my crisp white shirt and skimmed her cold fingertips over my bare skin. The breath left my lungs as I was hit with a desire I hadn't had in a long while.

"Yes?"

She latched onto my neck, pressing her bodyweight into me. I grasped onto her shirt, bunching it up in my fists as her hands wandered farther under mine. I gasped as she suddenly halted her actions and picked me up, setting me on the table in one swift motion. She barely had time to smirk as I pulled her by the back of her head to meet my lips. My body buzzed along with the kiss and my legs soon found their way around her slim waist.

Maybe I could love her.

I smoothed my hands over the nonexistent wrinkles in my emerald green dress. I had been told it brought out my eyes by both Ruby and Mary Margaret, so I decided to trust their judgment. It was strapless and tight, ending before the middle of my thighs. My hair had been done well, the long curls perfect and cascading beautifully down my shoulders. I've always been a little self deprecating when it came to my looks, but even I couldn't deny that I looked alright.

I heard Mary's voice asking me and Ruby if we were ready, so I quickly snatched the black stilettos from the back of my closet.

I took one last look in the mirror. Were Ruby and I going to end in disaster? What if, for some crazy reason, my dream was right? What on earth would I say to Ruby? She asked for more time! "I'm sorry, but I've given us a day. It's just not going to work." God, that would be such bullshit. But the response to that would be even worse because I slept with her. At work. On a table. Oh my god, what was wrong with me? Nothing you can do about it now, moron. I shook my head and started downstairs.

Mary looked wonderful. The dark blue spaghetti strapped dress was beautiful and very flattering on her.

But Ruby. Wow. Ruby was gorgeous.

She trotted down the steps right after me, all confidence and bravado, the voluminous curls of her hair bouncing with her. The re-done red streaks gave her such life, and her dark red dress was bold. Since there was a significant height difference already between us, she was towering over me in her sky high red pumps. I didn't mind at all. Mary Margaret shrieked and hugged both of us, "You guys look so amazing. Let's take a picture!"

She held out her phone and we all smiled into it, reviewing the picture afterwards.

"We look damn good!" Ruby winked at me and we started out towards the taxi we had called.

Here we go.

We entered the Rabbit Hole and for the second time I was blown away, but not for the same reason. It was exactly as my dream had painted it to be, and I began to panic. What the hell! I've never even been here before! Was she here? The woman? I instantly felt guilty that even as I was dating Ruby I was looking for someone else. But what I felt... what I felt was real. With Ruby its just so evanescent.

Realizing I'd been left alone in the crowd of people filing in, I searched for Ruby. As I thought she and Mary Margaret were sitting at the glass bar and Mary was waving me over.

I sat down next to them and watched anxiously as Ruby downed her shot.

"Don't worry, my friend paid for all our expenses."

I took a chance, "What friend?"

She smiled, "Just a friend of the family."

I nodded, not trusting her answer for some reason but I didn't want to push. I turned to see Mary Margaret staring at her shot glass in concern.

She radiated the same distress as in my dream, "I haven't drank in so long."

I tried to remember what I said, "You'll be fine. It's your night! Drink as much as you want." I threw back my shot and laughed as she did the same. This is so weird.

I decided to wait until the hour before I entered the VIP room. I felt completely ridiculous, counting down the minutes until I could go see some chick I didn't even know existed. Even so, I waited. I danced with Ruby as Mary Margaret had gone off somewhere, but I couldn't focus on the moment. I glanced up at the elaborate glass clock at on the wall. 11:00.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, "You alright Em?"

I looked back at her, her beautiful fluorescent glow from the lights intensifying my guilt, "Yeah. I just gotta go take a break. I'm gonna get a drink but why don't you find Mary? I'm worried."

She laughed and pulled me into a kiss, "Be back soon okay? When I find Mary we can have dessert at the bar if you want."

I gulped as a looked into her trusting eyes, "Sounds perfect."

I quickly made my way up the steps and to the familiar VIP door. Surprise! The exact same security guard was standing there. What the actual fuck?

"Can I ask your name, Miss?"

I nodded, "Emma Swan."

Just as I thought he would, he searched through the list and found my name. He unhooked the rope and pushed open the door. I immediately started towards the bar once it was in sight, but stopped dead in my tracks. She wasn't there. I glanced around the room, but I couldn't see anyone with a close resemblance in the darkness. In denial, I decided to wait in the seat I had sat in. Maybe she would show up. The bartender came over once I sat down, and I told him to surprise me. She was supposed to be here with me at this very moment. This was the moment I had found love.

The cold feeling of disappointment settled in my stomach. This was just like all those times in the foster system that I had been passed up, all those times I was cheated on, all those times I had wanted, needed, something to work out; and it just didn't. But because of that I waited. I waited ten minutes. Fifteen. Twenty. Twenty-five. Thirty. I waited until I ran out of patience, and I still waited after that.

So I thought I would spare you the Red Swan details, but you get the gist. Please don't kill me, this was just plot development. We will meet Regina quite soon. Hang in there.