Rokudo Mukuro had entered the mansion quite triumphantly that day. It was a very special day after all. He had that suspicious smirk covering his face that meant something had gone terribly well.

The man had been out for two days in a mission. It was an easy one, so to make it less boring, as soon as he was done with it, just for fun, he possessed some dude who just happened to be there. His victim had coincidentally been a porn star who was in the middle of filming a movie so the mist guardian finally cleared his curiosity of how it must feel like to get a blowjob from two girls at the same time while some big black sexy dude fucked him in the ass.

He had blackmailed the director into giving him a DVD, so when he walked around humming his annoying favorite song ('Pon Pon Wei Wei Wei' it was) everyone could perfectly see a small box popping out of his jacket with the label 'Lord of the tits'. Tsuna, the oh so naïve Tsuna, didn't read fast enough to finish the sentence and thought it was just a blue-ray copy of the Lord of the Rings.

-Mukuro, what is that? Do you mind if we watch it?

-Kufufu, of course, Tsunayoshi-kun… I am the main character so I was planning to have you all watch it~.

Like I said before, it was a special day: the day where the entire family gathered for some fun group activity as a way to keep the bonds or some of that shit. Around 3 in the afternoon, the whole family (except for Hibari and Lambo, who was still at school) had their eyes stuck to the screen. Nobody was surprised to see that if was nothing decent –I mean, it was Mukuro who had it- and nobody even looked away or left. Everyone seemed quite ok with sharing an hour and thirty minutes of kinky bad porn.

For Hibari, it was also a very special day. It was that day of the month when he would occasionally show up where the rest of the family was and try not to bite anyone to death. I suppose I don't have to explain this scene, right? It all gets bloody as soon as Hibari complains about the indecorous scene and Mukuro responds something like: "You're just jealous because at your age you still can't get laid"

[WARNING: Tonfas are made of hard and painful material. Kids, never say this stuff to someone who owns a pair.]

Two years ago, Tsuna and the rest would have gone crazy trying to stop those two from destroying pretty much everything around them, but at this point in life, they just didn't care anymore. They would all just sit and watch while the girls went to the kitchen and make some popcorn –because even if they were incredibly strong and powerful men, none of them knew how to use Giannini's super-neo-Amstrong-canon-microwave-3001 and a pair of cute and innocent looking girls could make bullets with the thing-. These fights were so normal, that there was nothing weird anymore about having to dodge illusionary elephants and/or genitals. Then, Hibari would pull out his box weapon and someone would start singing –really out of tune- 'Can you feel the love tonight' and that was how life in the Vongola mansion was during the peaceful times. And the guys had the nerve to say that the Varia were crazy…

xXx

Haru walked trough dark halls with a game of Monopoly under her arm and a frown in her face. Everything she and Kyoko had planned for that day had gone to hell because one idiot decided he wanted to star in a porn movie and another idiot decided no one should get to see it. She opened the door of Hibari's room furiously. Well, at least she tried. It was locked.

-Hibari-san! Haru knows you're in there! Come out!

Silence.

She was being ignored.

-Haru can hear you snore! You're faking! You never snore!

No answer.

Third attempt.

-If you don't come out right now Haru will bite you to death!

The door opened. The taller man looked down to meet her gaze.

-I'd love to see you try.

-At least I got you out- The brunette said with a triumphant smile and invited herself in.

-What do you want? - He closed the door again and sat on the corner of his bed.

-Haru just wants to scold you a little and then we can play monopoly, ok?

Hibari couldn't help it and raised a brow. What the hell was this woman on?

-Just for your information, Haru and Kyoko-chan have been cleaning YOUR mess for the past two hours because the rest of you failed project of Mafiosi decided to run away from your mess so we had to do the whole cleaning by ourselves when it wasn't even our responsibility, but since you bunch of losers can't even spell the word 'broom'… I hope you're happy.- She pouted.

Hibari was doing his best not to laugh. First of all, this was none of his business. No one had told them to clean anything, so it was their fault for wanting to do it. Also, this woman thought she looked threatening with that attempt of glare she had… it was actually kind of cute. After a deep breath, Haru continued her lecture.

-Exactly what is your problem with Mukuro-san? Haru understands he can be a bit weird and annoying sometimes but there's no need for violence or murder attempts! Why can't you two just talk about it and work out your problems? You could even become friends!

-I don't need that pineapple as a friend. Just you is more than enough.

Haru smiled at his response. It wasn't what she expected, but at least he considered her a friend too, and that was nice to know.

-Even so… you're just causing problems. Is it really so hard to try and get along with Mukuro-san? Even if you just do that while you're inside the mansion…

-That's impossible.

-Oh can't you just do that? Do it for me~? Friends do stuff for each other, right? Haru will get you something in return~

He hesitated for a second. Haru was staring at him intensely. That stare that said: 'if you don't agree I'll poison your food and spit on your drink'

-I guess I could give it a try…- He was going to regret this so much later.

-Yay! In the end, you're just a big baby, right Hibari-san~? –Not necessary to explain that the man was not happy at all with that comment, before he had the time to bark at her (not literally…) she moved forward and hugged him. If he said he saw that coming, he would be horribly lying.

The girl's arms were so thin around his neck it seemed as if they would break if he moved, and the pleasant scent of her shampoo was quickly surrounding him and intoxicating him. It was painful to admit, but she had perfectly paralyzed him for a moment.

xXx

Tsuna leaned back on his chair and rubbed a frozen steak over his now purple and bruised eye. He swore to himself it was the last time he would ask Mukuro to behave in a good way. Next time he had to deal with his guardian's bullshit, he will just grab the taller man by his hair extensions and drag him away to the dog' house, leaving him there for the night so he could think about what he did to deserve that treatment. Oh! Oh! And also, no dinner that day and pineapples for breakfast for the rest of the week!

Oh god he was starting to think like Reborn…

But somehow, it was better than having to deal with Hibari… thank goodness Haru had volunteered to go and see him by herself…. Wait, what? Why the heck would Haru want to do that? Was she really as stupid as Gokudera said or was she having a death wish? But now that he thought about it, the other day she had been with Hibari too, and she had the facial expression of someone who had just been treated like a queen. Did this mean that Hibari, the Caucasian Hulk, wasn't mean and violent with Haru? There was actually a scary possibility that he was even 'nice' to her. And Haru didn't mind being around him at all… this was fishy… very, very fishy…

-Dame-Tsuna~- Oh fuck. That unmistakable voice…

-C-come in, Lambo… how was school today?

A teenage boy walked into Tsuna's office, throwing his school bag carelessly to a corner of the room and shaking a paper and proudly slamming a paper on the boss' desk.

-What is this?- Tsuna looked down.

-The great Lambo got a score of 69 out of 100 in his math test! You can go ahead and praise me and buy me a new X-Box.

-That's great Lambo, good job… but you know that you need better grades than that if you want to go to college…- Tsuna knew the kid was very smart, but he was too lazy to do anything and failed almost every class.

-Tsk… you could at least be a little proud. Haru-nee would buy me something as a reward…

-Lambo, you don't even care about this, don't you? You just want free stuff… If you want to buy something get a part-time job and pay for it yourself.

-Where is Haru-nee, by the way?

-Would you not ignore me, please?... eh? Haru? She's with Hibari-san…

And then, Tsuna had an idea. He was always so busy he had forgotten already how it felt to have those.

-Lambo, if you do me a favor I'll buy you anything you want…

-Count me in!

xXx

-That dame-Tsuna wants me killed…- Lambo said quietly to himself as he did his best to pass unnoticed by Hibari's men.

Did he have the face of a spy? Sure, Tsuna wouldn't survive if he did this himself, but Lambo was going to sue his boss for child abuse if he got any damage.

When Tsuna asked him to spy on what Hibari and Haru were doing, the boy thought his boss had finally gone crazy for good. Just the evidence he needed to prove that overworking was not good, but he didn't say anything or he would have been smacked in the head and told that he didn't do any work at all.

Lambo managed to reach Hibari's door completely safe. Looks like there was still a God, after all. He tried to look through the door knob. No avail. It was a Japanese styled door, so he might as well forget about trying to peep. The other option was hearing what was going inside. As soon as he placed his ear near the door, he heard Haru's soft voice from the inside.

-Ah… Hibari-san... no… don't touch there….

Well. That was rather unexpected.

-It's ok… just let me do…

Hibari's voice this time. What the fuck was going on there? Those are not the sort of things a pubescent dirty-minded boy should be listening to.

-A little harder…. There…yeah…

-Miura… Don't be so loud…

-Hahi… sorry…. –That was followed by something that sounded like a moan, but Lambo couldn't be sure. –Faster….

-I'm coming…. –That was it. If there was something Lambo didn't need, was the idea of Hibari ejaculating inside his beloved Haru-nee.

He quickly stepped away from the door with a furious blush on his face and ran all the way to Tsuna's office.

-TSUNA!

-HIEEE! L-Lambo you scared me! What happened? Did you find out something?

-T-t-t-t-they… they're having…. Y-you know… they're… yeah… that….

-What are you saying? – Tsuna got up from his lovely chair and put all focus on Lambo's traumatized face.

-They're having sex…. - Lambo turned around and left. –I'll go do my homework.

The following second seemed like a million years. Tsuna didn't know what surprised him the most: the fact that Lambo was actually going to do his goddamn homework, or that fact that Haru was fucking his strongest guardian in the room right under his office.

He felt stupid for not noticing [even if he was wrong] that Haru and Hibari had feelings for each other. It had to be a matter of feelings, because neither of the two would ever sleep with someone they didn't love. But why wouldn't they say anything? Maybe they were shy… but Haru and shy were not two words that could be easily put in the same sentence. The point was that he was Haru's friend, and it was painful that she wouldn't tell him something so important. Kyoko probably knew and she hadn't told him either… these women would be the hell of him.

The young boss made up his mind in that precise instant. He would do all he could to make Haru's relationship with Hibari work. Even if he had to learn how to play the violin so he could play for them while they were having a romantic dinner with candles and stupidly expensive wine.

Little did he know, though, that actually, Haru was just teaching Hibari how to play Legend of Zelda, and by 'I'm coming' he meant 'I'm going to the Boss' dungeon now, shut up and let me play In peace, I know how to do this shit.'

xXx

Welp, I finally decided to write this~ =u= Actually, I had no idea of how to continue this fic, and then, this morning I thought that Mukuro would make a great porn star and somehow this came out… you can kill me if you want OTL im so sorry….

Thank you so much to all of you who send reviews~ I really appreciate them and I'm glad someone actually likes this piece of shit :3 I'll do my best and make a proper next chapter…