A/N: To everyone who're reading this, thank you so much. For the Favs, Follows, and Reviews, thank you. I apologize for the delay in updates. It takes a lot for me to be satisfied by everything I've written so, I would keep on rewriting and editing until I have nothing to rewrite and edit anymore. Heh.
Any, here's your new chapter. It's not gonna be an easy one. I may or may not have teared up writing this.
WARNING: (1) Long chapter (2) graphic descriptions of undead
THREE
Find You
And if you lose yourself
I will find you
.
The whole thing quickly becomes exactly how a zombie apocalypse survival movie would look like.
"Day 22, 9 Survivors," Stacie reports, recording it into this high-end voice recording gadget they got when they went out to get supplies the very next day after they got settled in the hotel. "We're still here at Birmingham, Alabama, three weeks and a day into the apocalypse. We need rescue. Roger."
At first, listening to Stacie feels like a little off. One reason is because none of them knows how to build a device that could get them into the airwaves and second, everytime she mentions the word apocalypse, she still hesitates, like her body still refuses to believe it.
What horrifies Beca the most is the day and survivor count at the start of her daily report. It's a reminder that they've already lost Denise and there's a huge chance they could lose another one.
Beca listens to Stacie everyday though, because Stacie records and records a report, hoping that one day soon, Jessica will finally build the radio she's been trying to build for half a month now. It doesn't seem like it's gonna happen soon but Stacie just keeps going. And maybe that's the reason they're all still going, too.
They stayed three more weeks in Birmingham and today's their last day.
They spent the past few weeks, going around town getting everything they need for their long journey ahead: food, clothes, water, fuel, alcohol, weapons, ammunition, and three sessions of How to Shoot a Pistol 101 by Lilly Onakuramara.
"How long is this gonna take?" Stacie asks Jessica who's sitting behind a huge desk tinkering on different computer-related stuff.
Yes, indeed. Jessica is their IT girl. The always happy and always jolly Jessica is a master in computers and anything technical. For example, she has found a way to put alarm on all the entry points in the hotel by attaching them to pipe bombs. In three weeks, Jessica had gone through major character shift.
From the girl who wore floral dresses all the time, the Jessica that closely works with Stacie now is wearing thick-framed glasses, her everyday outfits mostly composed of t-shirts and oversized zip-up jackets. She's still talkative as hell and she still has the funniest laugh but everything just turns to Weirdville when she starts talking about transmission and data manipulation.
"I don't know, Stacie," Jessica replies, briefly looking up at Stacie before turning back to that weird satellite plate she's been trying to figure out for three weeks now. "This is not my field of expertise. I'm still getting headaches from all the graduate-level Electrochemistry formulas I've been studying."
Beca watches the exchange from her place on the other side of the desk. Somehow, she has found comfort in the sound of Jessica's frustrated sighs everytime her transmitter and receiver won't work. It's comforting not because she's failing. It's comforting because Jessica just keeps on trying.
Their goal is to make their radio satellite dish work. If there's rescue out there somewhere, they need to get its attention.
Their momentary silence is cut short by the beep on Beca's radio—because yes, they have personal CB radios.
Another upside to the apocalypse: unlimited CB radios from that store that sells Walkie Talkies.
"We need a hand here, Beca Mitchell," Chloe's voice comes in.
Distracted, both Jessica and Stacie turn to her.
Beca rolls her eyes before she takes the radio clipped by the left side of her chest, "I'm helping out Jessica here."
Jessica takes her radio from the top of the table and talks, "No. She's not."
Beca glares at her.
"Beca!" Chloe calls her out, her voice demanding.
"I'm coming. Jesus Christ, Beale," Beca says into the radio before hopping off her seat. She glares at Jessica one more time before turning to Stacie and whines, "I don't wanna help them, take me out of it."
Stacie takes out her radio out and presses the talk button, "Chloe, she's slacking."
Beca's eyes widen, "The fuck—"
"Rebecca Mitchell!" comes in again.
"Yeah, I'm coming!" she says quickly into the radio.
She walks toward the door and turns to the duo one more time, "You're both gonna pay for this."
Stacie rolls her eyes, "Just go Beca or Chloe will come in here and drag you out."
Yeah, it sounds totally unnecessary and a bit overdramatic but Chloe does that. Aside from being the team's resident doctor (she was gonna go to Barden Medical School before the world became this untreatable mess of a planet), she's also their resident motivator; their human GPS.
Beca could swear the girl attached trackers on everyone while they were all sleeping because that woman always knows where they are or how long have they been out.
She's their keeper and a good one that is, because she's up to the point where she knows when someone is out to use the bathroom.
Beca walks the hallway toward the lobby where everyone is lifting boxes of various things to the bus. They're set to leave that day, ending their 22-day stay in this hotel. Beca can only be happy because the beds suck.
"Could you help me out with the boxes from the kitchen?" Chloe asks her with a smile.
"You realize you were yelling at me on the radio, right?"
Chloe chuckles, "Yes but I was just trying to get you to come here because you're not any help to Jess and Stacie."
"Thank you for nicely insinuating that I know nothing about computers."
Chloe laughs as she lifts the final box from the bottom of the stairs and hands it to Cynthia Rose who was just approaching them.
"Can we pack up the Radio Room now?" Cynthia asks Beca, adjusting the box in her hands.
Beca shrugs, "Jess started on something hours ago but she yelled profanities at me about 30 minutes ago. So I assume that's it for the day."
"Stacie's there with her?"
Beca nods.
Cynthia nods back in return as she walks toward the exit where Lilly was waiting, ready to escort her to the bus.
Somehow, even without directly holding a meeting about it, they have made a system: (1) buddy system, no one goes anywhere alone (2) for fuel runs, Fat Amy should be with either Lilly or Stacie (3) everyone carries a pistol with them even if they prefer to use another object as their main defense; and (4) different pairs would stand in during the nights.
It's not much but it has worked for them. And also, Twinkies are just as necessary as alcohol.
All of a sudden, Chloe steps closer to her, putting her arms around Beca's neck and on instinct, she responds by putting her hands on the redhead's waist.
What started with frequent handholding and longing gazes has turned into hugs and this and cuddling at night. Somehow, everyone around them got used to it and besides, it's not like they could do anything about it.
Stacie would somehow tease her about it but she doesn't ask what it means. Beca can only be thankful that she doesn't because she wouldn't have an answer.
Chloe Beale hugs and cuddles anyone she wants to but most days, it's Beca. And Beca has long stopped asking herself why.
"What now, Beale?" she asks, trying to keep her voice steady despite the fact that she's having a case of butterflies in her stomach. The butterflies never go away and they go even wilder when Chloe is this close.
And Beca has long stopped trying to convince herself it doesn't mean anything.
"Help me out with the stuff in the kitchen?"
Is it necessary to be this close when asking for such favor? No, but Beca also has long stopped complaining.
"Do I have a choice?"
Chloe giggles before she pulls herself off Beca. "Nope," she says as she heads toward the kitchen.
Beca just smiles, unconsciously affectionate, as she follows Chloe.
Yeah, when Chloe does that, it leaves Beca without much of a choice.
.
Meridian, MS
23rd Day, 4 AM
"Are you sure you're okay, Amy?" Beca asks Amy, whispering under her breath because everyone is still sleeping.
"Yeah, could you just wake Stacie up? I don't know where we're stopping now."
The drive from Birmingham to Meridian should have just taken two hours but because of the many stops they had and the parts of I-60 they had to avoid due to the overwhelming number of undead, it took them more than half a day.
"Find any neighborhood," Stacie says in a sleepy manner.
God, it's so easy to wake her. It's like her body has an alarm that goes off when somebody mentions her name.
Looking up from the book she's reading—a book about the towns of Mississippi—Chloe says, "This book literally has nothing about Meridian."
"Not helping," Stacie comments, adjusting herself to a more comfortable position without stirring Aubrey awake. Aubrey's head is on Stacie's shoulder and Beca realizes that it's another one of the many things no one asks about—somehow, Stacie has taken Aubrey under her wings.
Beca is curious and Chloe is only thankful that Stacie is taking good care of her but other than that, no one really asks. Beca has a gut feeling that there's something more to it but she doesn't ask.
Do not do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you.
Stacie and Beca have developed a weird dynamic that others would easily call friendship. They have somehow taken the lead in this whole thing primarily because Aubrey Posen is still as lifeless as she was the first day. Becoming allies has made Stacie and Beca closer, even sharing some serious heart talks when they would stay the night with Jessica at the Radio Room. To some extent, Jessica is part of that dynamic, although most days the girl would just laugh. But Jessica listens and Beca appreciates that.
Chloe just smiles patiently, "But I've read that there a lot of mansions here. Jackson, Columbus, and Hattiesburg are all known for large infrastructures like buildings and houses. I'm sure if we find a neighborhood, we'd find a house to crash."
That's also another one of Chloe's roles in the team. Aside from being their human GPS, she's also their Google Maps; somewhat Internet, too because the girl is brainy, even brainer than Beca ever knows.
When they went out to get supplies, Chloe insisted on getting as many North America travel books as possible. Nobody understood why but it all made sense when Stacie started mapping out their direction. She got one of those huge teacher-material North America maps and splayed it out on the hotel wall, marking their possible stops with a red sharpie. Chloe and Stacie had an all-nighter discussing which stops were most suitable for them, all because of the books she got.
Beca knows Chloe is enjoying reading all those books. Hell, she even enjoyed all the Almanac Chloe got her.
"I think we should find a place now, my eyes are really tired from driving without the headlights on."
"Do you want to switch?" Stacie offers, now fully awake.
"Nah," Fat Amy shakes her head. "Let's just get this over with."
HALF AN HOUR LATER
Fat Amy pulls over in front of a beautiful two-storey house with a craftsman cottage design. Its front porch has a swing and a couple of overturned outdoor chairs and a table, its lawn looks like it was once well-taken care of, and there are signs that there were once flowers here. Even in the dark, the house looks stunning.
Okay, for the record, Beca appreciates building and house designs. Her mom was an architect and she grew up looking at her mom's dream home.
If Beca would be honest, it would look like this.
There are little signs of damage in the house and only if the doors and windows were shut, Beca would assume the family who lived here is still alive. There's an ache inside Beca's heart upon thinking about it. This place was once a family's home. They probably had children. Maybe, they had a dog, too.
Beca's thoughts are interrupted when Stacie speaks up, talking to everyone in the bus. "Hey, ladies, wake up," she calls, voice still raspy from her sleep.
Everyone perks up on their seat, albeit in a sleepy manner.
"Lilly and I are going in. Watch your backs while we you also watch ours," the tall brunette whose leather jacket fits her well says, swinging her rifle from her back.
They did get a good amount of guns from that old weapons shop in Birmingham. They got enough pistols, rifles, and ammunition to go with it. The trick is to learn how to shoot. It's just frustrating sometimes because some of them refuse to learn to actually shoot sharply. Chloe, for example, settles for the axe she found in the emergency section of Walmart, not to mention she still has her golf club with her.
"I'm coming with you!" Ashley volunteers from the second row of seats.
Stacie only looks at her.
"It'll make clearing the house faster," Ashley states.
Stacie sighs and nods. Beca could see the hesitance in her but she still lets her.
"Shut the door once we're out," Stacie tells Fat Amy before turning to Beca.
Stacie only gives her a look and a nod of recognition.
It's funny because it's only been 23 days since she actually became friends with Stacie but she already knew what that look and nod means. It's the reason why she and Stacie work as a team. They need no words, just a mutual understanding of the goal they need to achieve next.
"If we're not back in an hour, you're on your own."
Stacie, Lilly, and Ashley disappear into the house soon after that. Everyone left in the bus stand by their assigned positions. Fat Amy and Aubrey guard the front of the bus while Chloe and Beca guard the left side, as Cynthia Rose and Jessica stay on the right.
Usually, the waiting is what sucks the most.
Beca can still remember that one time Chloe went out with Fat Amy and Lilly for a generator fuel run insisting she needs to stop by that torn down music store because she saw a vinyl record of David Bowie's first album. Beca held her pride that time and decided to stay by the hotel and watch Jessica work.
She spent most of that time just ranting to Jessica about how unnecessary it is to go out there in the middle of an infected area just to get a David Bowie vinyl. Okay, sure, maybe it is a little bit worth it but still. Jessica just smiles at her and plays a David Bowie song from Beca's laptop which only infuriated the brunette.
Beca still remembers how she practically ran to the door when she heard the bus come back just to make sure that Chloe is back in one piece.
It still makes Beca smile how happy Chloe's was when she showed her all the vinyl records she got; and Beca can still recall how hard she laughed when Fat Amy came in with a vinyl player. Fat Amy is everyone's partner in crime.
Twenty minutes pass without a sign of the trio that walked inside the house. Beca is already starting to grow anxious and it probably showed because Chloe is by her side in a second.
"Hey," Chloe mutters, her voice soft as she traces random patterns on Beca's arm as if trying to ease her. "Hearing no gunshot is a good sign," she reminds her.
Beca nods but she's not convinced. Something in her gut feels wrong.
She takes a deep breath as she looks around outside the bus anxiously. Doing so, she catches a sight of Aubrey who's standing by the door looking at the house through the glass. Her fingers are tapping on her rifle, her foot stomping lightly on the steel floor of the bus.
Beca could tell Aubrey feels it, too.
"I'm going in," Beca says, causing everyone to look at her. She meets eyes with Aubrey and Beca just further confirms that Aubrey feels something wrong, too.
"I think I saw something upstairs through the windows," Aubrey says, the longest sentence she'd said to anyone in 23 days.
Fat Amy is about to grab her radio when Beca stops her, "No. It'll alert the other occupants of the house. It's dangerous."
There's a flash of fear in Aubrey's eyes as Beca feels Chloe take her hand again.
It has become Chloe's nervous habit and it has somehow become Beca's safe refuge.
Bang!
They hear a gunshot and almost everyone jumps in surprise.
"Shit," Beca mutters under her breath.
Her first instinct is to look around to see if the gunshot alerted any other undead. So far, none.
For a moment there, Beca learns how to breathe again.
"Stay on your positions," Beca commands as everyone, as if in remote control, heads back to their respective places.
Bang!
Another shot from inside the house.
"I gotta go," Beca decides, standing up from her place in the second row.
"No!" Chloe cries from the back of the bus.
The redhead is about to make a move when Beca sees one undead running aggressively from the left side of the street. It's headed toward the bus.
"Chloe!" Beca alerts her.
By reflex, Chloe pushes up the bus window and takes her pistol out. She then fires two shots into his head. The zombie's whole body fidgets to the ground as Chloe shuts the window with a loud thump.
"You're not going in here, Beca!"
Bang!
"I need to," Beca says as she sprints to the console and opens the door.
"Beca!" a teary-eyed Chloe calls her again.
"I'll be back, I promise."
Beca doesn't look back as she runs from the bus to the house. Stacie always told her to trust her guts and right now, her guts are telling her to run inside. Beca holds her rifle up the moment she steps inside.
The first floor seems clear. All entry points are shut tight, three zombies are laying double-dead by the hallway—one with a gunshot between the eyes, the other two are headless. Beca instantly thinks about Lilly and how good she is with the katana. It's not even an Asian cliché. The girl simply has a fascination with sharp objects.
Beca's next move is to move to the second floor. As she ascends the stairs, she hears voices talking by the hallway. It gives her a sense of relief because she recognizes Stacie's voice.
But that sense of relief quickly goes away when the sight unfolds in front of her.
"Just shoot me, Stacie."
Beca hears it. The voice is shaky and it sounds like Ashley. Beca could barely see in the dark. The only light they have is the rechargeable lamp strategically placed in the middle of the floor, just to serve as their guide in the dark. They're mostly relying on small handy flashlights and soon as Beca turns hers on, the voice she heard completely made sense.
"Holy shit," Beca mutters under her breath.
Standing in front of her is Ashley, tears streaming down from her face to her blood-stained clothes. Beca's tears immediately tear up, her stomach suddenly feels like it's turning upside down. On Ashley's neck is an open wound, a large one; and laying on floor beside her is a zombie with its head barely attached to its body.
Beside Beca is Stacie, her gun drawn up pointing toward Ashley. Her hands are shaking and her tears are falling. Beca then sees Lilly behind Ashley, sword drawn up defensively toward Ashley, her shoulders shaking from all the crying.
"Just shoot me," Ashley pleads.
Stacie shakes her head, prolonging the agony. "Chloe could find a solution," Stacie manages despite her shaky voice.
"I don't wanna hurt anyone," Ashley pleads again, as she goes down on both her knees. "Just do it, Stacie."
"No."
Ashley looks up and meets Beca's eyes. "Beca," Ashley calls out, her voice breaking in pain and defeat. "Please."
Beca takes in a deep breath.
"Ash, we'll get you an antidote," Beca tells her. Even Beca is unsure of it but hell, she wishes it were true.
"No, we won't."
Nobody says anything for a moment. Silence occurs among them.
"It hurts," Ashley cries as she pulls her hand to her wound. "Just stop the pain now."
Beca is crying by now.
Sure they have killed dozens of zombies before. They've killed so many zombies from their grocery trips to their practice shootings but none of it can ever prepare them for this.
"I kept a list of my recipes on Beca's laptop. I—"
"Ash, no," Beca interrupts her. "You told me you're gonna cook one hell of a Turkey on Thanksgiving."
Ashley, even with a wound bad enough to kill a person, manages a hearty laugh. "Do you think there would be any turkeys left out there?"
"I don't know."
Ashley turns to Stacie, "It hurts so much Stace, stop it."
Stacie is sobbing now.
"I can't."
Ashley then stands from her kneeling position and walks toward Beca. It doesn't make Beca step back. She's scared, sure, but she's looking at Ashley's eyes and she still sees her friend, her friend who is in deep pain.
Beca bites the insides of her cheeks, trying to keep her feelings at bay.
Once close enough, Ashley takes Beca's hand that was holding the gun and draws it up so that the gun is point at her head.
"Ashley, no..." Beca mutters weakly.
"Yes, Beca. You have to do it."
Ashley takes Beca's other hand and puts it together with the other. Both of Beca's hands are on the gun now, pointing it to Ashley's head.
Beca swallows as she tries not to think that Ashley's blood are on her hands now.
"You can handle this, Beca."
Beca takes a deep breath as she meets Ashley's eyes. "Tell Fat Amy I hid her Skittles with the rest of the canned goods in box number 19."
Fuck.
"Close your eyes, all of you," Ashley commands, faking a strong tone.
For some reason, Beca does. She doesn't know if Stacie and Lilly did the same but she did. "I'm starting to turn Beca, do it."
"Ashley—"
"She loves you," Ashley whispers weakly and before Beca could clarify what she was talking about, they all hear a gunshot.
Bang!
Before she knows it, Ashley's hands are slipping from her own. A loud thump comes immediately after and once she opens her eyes, she sees Ashley's body right in front of her. Ashley's head is bleeding from the left side and Beca immediately turns to the said direction.
And there Aubrey stands with her rifle drawn up, her face stoic. She has tears in her eyes but her face is emotionless. Beca has never seen Aubrey as dark and cold as she is in that moment.
For a moment, it scares Beca because she sees something leave Aubrey's eyes. Whatever was left of the Aubrey they know, it left the moment she killed Ashley. Suddenly, Beca feels more scared for Aubrey now than she was for Ashley a few moments back.
With Ashley, she never saw her friend leave her body. Ashley died as Ashley.
But Aubrey is turning into someone else.
Before Beca could fully comprehend what is happening, she feels a pair of arms engulf her in a hug. She doesn't need to look or verify who it is. She knows it's Chloe. She knows this hug too well to not recognize it.
She wraps her arms around Chloe before she lets herself cry freely. Chloe is crying, too. Her shoulders are shaking and Beca could feel her breathing heavily. It's calming and at the same time heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking because it's a hug of grief. It's a hug you share with someone when you've lost someone else, a friend, a loved one.
Aubrey storms out and Stacie is quick to follow her.
Beca sees Lilly walk over to Ashley's corpse. The Asian kneels next to the body and puts her hand over Ashley's eyes. Her eyes are still open and Beca realizes that her eyes are dark green. Lilly gently closes Ashley's eyes before she starts to sob.
Beca makes the report in her head.
Day 23, 8 survivors.
.
The next few hours go by quietly.
Beca and Chloe volunteer on helping Jessica secure all entry points with alarms and pipe bombs. Fat Amy and Cynthia Rose join efforts in digging up a grave in the backyard to have a place for Ashley and the four other now-dead undead.
Lilly takes it upon herself to drag all the body down to the backyard and cleanup the blood on the hallways while Stacie and Aubrey volunteer to clear the perimeter, bringing their silenced guns with them.
Everyone is coping the way they can manage considering the circumstances.
By noon, everybody stands by the side of Ashley's grave staring at a wooden makeshift gravestone with words written in black sharpie:
Ashley Hamilton
Literally been here the whole time
"You're gonna be there for a long time, my friend," Cynthia Rose cracks a joke, a bittersweet smile escaping her lips.
It earns a teary chuckle from everyone.
Somehow, they have started accepting the cold, harsh truth. It's not easy but they all owe it to Ashley to show up here.
They sing her an a capella version of Sixpence None the Richer's "Don't Dream It's Over" because it's always been her go to warm-up song.
Halfway through the song, Beca takes Chloe's hand in hers. She clasps it tight and the moment Chloe clasps her hand back, Beca's tears fall once more.
She cries because Ashley is gone and she cries because most of them are still here.
She cries because Chloe is still here. It's scary how she cannot see herself moving past all of this without Chloe. If she's gonna survive, she's gonna survive with Chloe.
She loves you.
Beca keeps repeating it in her head—Ashley's last words. She thinks she knows what her late friend was talking about so she closes her eyes and thanks God for Ashley. They may have never been that close but they were friends.
And even up until her last breath, Ashley was her friend—giving her a piece of her mind, trying to help Beca see what's been in front of her all this time.
It's weird how the world works. Fate throws people into your path without ever telling you why until it's too late for you to acknowledge their existence at all.
Beca thanks Ashley anyway.
She loves you, she repeats in her again as she stares at Chloe who's trying hard to fight her tears while singing the song.
Beca looks at Ashley's grave and smiles.
Up until that moment, Ashley was her friend.
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
Don't ever let them win
Chapter title is from Zedd's track of the same title from the 'Divergent' soundtrack.
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