Is it my imagination or is Effie looking at Danny with worried eyes? It must be impossible, she is a Capitol citizen, and as far as I'm concerned they are unrelated to any kind of emotion. "Maybe you should take him to his room." She says, shifting her eyes to me and I nod, following her through the train as I try to take in the luxury that surrounds us. I have never seen such exquisite furniture, but I suppose that after the Games I will never see any kind of furniture again, whatever it is that awaits for us in the Arena will be my last dwelling.

I am surprised by the size of the bed that awaits us inside of Danny's bedroom. Effie leaves us alone and I take Danny to the mattress, sitting him in my lap, pulling off his shoes and letting him cry against my neck. I stroke his hair and back wishing someone was waiting for me at my own room to do the same. I am scared too, and I too feel like sobbing but I keep a strong facade for Danny.

After a while his sobbing is slowly replaced by a soft hiccup and he pulls away to look at me. "I'm sorry." He whispers.

I smile softly and wipe away his tears. "No, Danny. It's okay."

"No it is not!" He yells, and he seems suddenly older. Not the twelve year old I took camping on his birthday, not the kid that laughed as Peeta and I tickled him. "You are going to the Games and it is my fault! Even if I... even if I go back, Peeta will never forgive me."

I frown and shake my head. "Danny, your brother loves you more than anything in the world. This is not your fault, you didn't chose to come here. You didn't force me into volunteering. I did it because I love you... and I love your brother." I explain myself in an attempt to prevent my voice from cracking. He notices, but doesn't comment on it, he doesn't seem to know what to say at all.

"You should get some sleep, Danny." I say after a while, I tuck him into the bed and he looks up at me. Something tells me it won't be that easy for him to fall asleep, so I lay over the blankets beside him and start singing softly. The same song I sang for Prim that morning. He falls asleep and as I kiss his hair a single tears falls into it as I am reminded I will never sing for my sister again.

I stand up from the bed carefully, and leave the bedroom, closing the door behind him softly. All efforts to keep it quiet are almost shattered as my now mentor, former Victor, Haymitch Abernathy surprises me in the hallway. His presence is definitely something I wasn't expecting and I jump, he chuckles and points to the living room with his glass. "You and I have a lot of things to talk about, sweetheart. And you don't want to wait until dinner." I follow him without a word, and he doesn't turn to see if I'm behind him. The brownish liquid in his glass moves with his and the train's movement, even before the scent strikes me I know it is alcohol. Peeta's mom often walks with a similar glass on her hand, and Haymitch's love for the booze isn't a secret to anyone in Panem.

We sit down in the couches, he sits on one big enough for three people, but manages to occupy it all. He sips and I sit down in an individual couch in front of him. Only when I look around I notice we are not alone. A couple of women look at us without really watching. Haymitch must have seen my confusion because he clears it. "Avoxes, our servants." I nod and look beside me to a table where a jar is, it is filled with fresh cold water and I stand up to pour a glass. The Avoxes don't move but I feel Haymitch's eyes on me as I drown the whole glass in one gulp and I pour water again. One I'm sitting in front of him again he clears his throat.

"Now speak."

"What do you want me to say?"

"It is obvious you are not like District 2 careers: eager to go to the Games, kill some kids and go home back bathed in glory. You have other reasons for volunteering, the kid whose place you've taken isn't your familiar nor your friend. And you and the other kid seem pretty close. Spill."

I sigh. I don't feel like talking about it, not with anyone, and least of all with Haymitch, but I must. He managed to get out of the Arena alive, and he has to be the one to help me to bring Danny back.

"He is my boyfriend's little brother." I give in after a moment.

"The baker's kid?"

"Yes, Peeta. I love Danny like a brother, and I couldn't bear to see him walk to his death. So I figured that if I went I could protect him. I could make sure he'd win."

"You'd make sure you'd lose." He corrects and I open my mouth as if to correct him, but I know he is right, so I just close it and nod. He sighs and leans back.

"Look sweetheart, I can only bring one tribute home each time. I'm forced to choose every single year and it is hard. I have to choose the one that has the most possibilities of winning and focus all my strength to bring them back." His voice is low and suddenly I gain respect for the man before me. I imagine what would it be like to have to choose between two kids who both have confidence in you to save them, only to watch them both die year after year. "This year it might be different though, if you want to bring him home too."

"I do." I say and he nods.

"He is twelve years old, and he is essentially dead already. You and I both know he can't kill anyone, you'll have to do the dirty job for him." The way he says it makes it sound like a question, he is asking me if I'm willing to kill for him. I hesitate but I end up nodding.

"Okay, you are dismissed. Get out so I can think and get drunk in peace." I nod again and stand up, taking my glass of water with me. When I am almost out of the room he calls my name and I turn to see him.

"What if you are the last two?"

The possibility strikes me and I found myself dreading it. But still, I know it is the most possible scenario if I want him to go back.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." He says and I walk towards my room, hiding inside of it.

I explore my quarters and find that the drawers are filled with clothes. I find what seems like a comfortable outfit and decide to take a shower to clear my thoughts. I quickly give up on that idea as the shower gives me a headache. All those buttons and colors are impossible for me to decipher. So I just change my clothes and I wash my face, looking at my own reflection in the mirror. I tell myself that if I am going to cry this is the moment. But no tears come out.

An hour or so later Effie knocks on my door calling me for dinner, I suppose Danny is still sleeping, but I decide to wake him up so he can eat something. He needs food and strength for what is about to follow. So I shake him lightly and tell him to get ready to eat. I wait for him with Effie in the dining room, Haymitch is nowhere on sight but that somehow doesn't surprises me, or her. Not even Danny mentions it.

Danny enters the room and sits down next to me. The Avoxes come in with the food and they set a bowl of soup in front of each one of us. I am surprised by the quantity and the delicious scent it has, I start eating and my stomach is filled with a warm liquid that makes me feel much better. I try not to eat too fast but still I am the first one to finish. Effie watches us silently and she ends up noticing the ring in my left hand. "You didn't have that at the reaping."

I shake my head and swallow the lump in my throat, I take a sip of water to gain some time. I can feel Danny's eyes piercing in my back.

"I got unexpectedly engaged." I whisper, and the look in Effie's eyes is almost sad enough to break my heart. But I doubt it can ever be broken again.

We finish the dinner in silence and we leave to the TV room to watch the reruns of the reapings. Haymitch was right about District 2 and 1. The Careers fight to decide who gets the honor of going to the Games, it makes me sick. Though it might have something to do with the fact that I've eaten more on that last hour than I have in a week for sure. Both the guy from two and from eleven are mountains. The girl from one is so beautiful I know she must already have a million sponsors, and an innocent girl from eleven cries as she is escorted to the train. She can't be older than Danny.

Effie turns off the tv and I walk Danny back to his room. He asks me to sing again and I do, only because I cannot stand to see him suffer. I only leave when I'm completely sure he is asleep. And only when I'm laying alone on the bed and the District I've always called home gets further away every second I finally start crying.