I wasn't able to fall asleep until very late, but I am relieved when I peek between my eyelashes and I see that I've survived the night. I was tired enough from all the crying to dream nothing at all, which is good; I doubt I'll be able to sleep much in the arena, so I guess it's better to get some rest while I still can. Even when I am relieved to have faced no nightmares I am disappointed as well when I open my gray eyes to find the big, empty bedroom in the Capitol train. A small part of me still wished it had all been a nightmare and I was still in the cold, hard, old mattress I shared with my sister. But I am still here, and Danny is too.

I decide to give the shower a second chance, so I find myself naked outside of it pressing random buttons until I manage to get the water to run in a decent pressure and temperature. It is all peace and tranquility until I find myself attacked by several creams when I try to get my hair cleaned. When I am finally dry I walk back to my room and get dressed with the same clothes I wore yesterday, they are still clean and they are comfortable. When I look at myself in the mirror I see no evidence of the girl that woke up yesterday's morning in her bed at the Seam. That girl is gone, Peeta is a widower already. I turn my back to the stranger's reflection.

I walk to the dining room where I find Effie glaring at Haymitch, who focuses all his attention in spreading butter over a loaf of bread, still I can see he is pressing his lips together, trying not to smirk. Danny has that nervous expression he showed whenever his mother yelled at Peeta or Mr. Mellark in front of him. They all seem to relax when I walk in, which gives me the feeling that they were discussing something about me.

"Morning." I mutter sitting next to Danny, immediately capturing his hand underneath the table to give it a gentle squeeze, he smiles. It takes me back to those Saturday mornings when I went to have breakfast with them. But Peeta isn't making us all laugh with his jokes, Danny's eyes don't shine. "Morning sweetheart, how did you sleep?" Haymitch asks and I shrug, starting to eat. Moments later, Effie clears her throat and she isn't content until we all turn around to see her, she smiles. "We'll be arriving in a few hours. You will go with your stylists to get ready for the Tribute parade. Katniss dear, you are up very late so I must apologize for not waiting until you are done." I fake a smile and she nods, leaving to do goodness knows what.

Haymitch is noticeably happier when she leaves, because he sits back. "Okay, so you already know me. And the boy here does too. Now, rules: You don't mess up with me and I'll help you. Whatever I say is whatever you have to do, you hear me?" Danny nods and I do too. Suddenly I find myself hoping he won't be so stupid to talk about my plan in front of Danny. I know he must already suspect it. Because only one of us will get out and he knows I'm not planning it to be me, but still I don't think he will take it very well if we discuss my death over the breakfast table. Still, Haymitch surprises me skipping that part.

"You must never underestimate the way the public sees you, cameras are going to be everywhere from this moment and on. You have to be careful on what is your expression. You have to get people to like... no, scratch that, to love you. You are going to go to your stylists and accept whatever it is that they say, no 'but's no 'if's no nothing. And you are going to smile and pretend you are enjoying the Parade. You think you'll manage to survive for that long?" We both nod again and he sits back, pulling out a decanter and taking a sip. I wrinkle my nose. "Now kid, go to your room while sweetheart here and me have a grown up talk."

I can tell Danny is about to protest but I stop him, "Just go, Danny. I'll be with you in a minute." He glares at me, I know how much he hates to be shooed away because he is young. But whatever it is I know I don't want him to hear. He leaves and I turn to Haymitch.

"Sweetheart I hope you realize the kind of game you are getting into. You saw the reruns, didn't you? If you were a career from two and you saw Danny what would you think?"

I swallow. "An easy kill..." I whisper, and he nods. That was what he was expecting.

"However, there is this girl who volunteers and seems willing to protect the kid with her life. The same girl who didn't cry or show any emotion as she walked to her death. The tributes must be wondering by now how much of a threat you are. But we don't care about their opinion, we care about the Capitol's. Kid you need to make them fall in love with you."

"I don't know how to do that!" I protest, trying to quiet the panic attack in my chest. "I know how to keep my emotions under control, I did it because I don't want the careers to think I'm not a threat. I need to scare them enough to get out of the bloodbath and then I'll manage to survive..."

"Until they kill off each other and only the best remain?" He questions me, interrupting me. I glare at him because I know he is right. "You did well not to cry on the stage. But now you smile and pretend you love the Capitol. And you have to be excellent, not good, nor great, in your individual trials. And in the interview you get people to fall for you and your tragic story so they'll support you and the kid."

"You want me to tell them I have no intention of getting out?" I manage to breathe out after some minutes of silence.

"I want you to tell them how much you love the baker's son, how you couldn't stand the idea of watching him suffer so you volunteered to protect his brother, how you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if Danny doesn't get out, how you rather die than leave the baker without his brother. The Capitol people are suckers for a good story, this is all they want sweetheart, a good show. Give it to them." He says and I stand up, because I know he is right but at the same time I can't stand the idea of exposing my deepest feelings to the monsters in the Capitol. The same feelings I share to no one, not even Peeta or my sister. I don't have to, they know them already. But the Capitol doesn't, and this is the best chance I get to save Danny. So I walk to my room and slam the door, allowing myself to break down again.

Danny and I are watching through the windows of the train, the landscape escapes too quickly from our gaze, making it impossible to play "I Spy" but we enjoying watching the outside, spotting a tree or something green once in a while comforts me, I'm not used to the shiny and grey interior of the train. But after a while the landscape changes, and we find ourselves inside the Capitol. The colors, the people, it all seems ridiculously colorful to me, so I look away and find Danny staring at me.

"I know what you are planning." He says quietly and I sigh.

"Danny I don't know if I want to have this conversation..."

"You know what is going to happen if I win, Peeta won't be able to look at me without thinking I'm only alive because you are dead." I open my mouth to protest but he doesn't let me, instead he continues. "And I'll think the same whenever I see myself in the mirror."

"Danny no one asked me to do this, I love you. I chose this." I say looking into his eyes, talking firmly.

"Just promise me one thing."

"Anything, Danny."

"If I die, you have to win. Peeta can't lose both of us." I can hear the decision in his voice, and he doesn't stutter, not once. He has been thinking of this, he has thought about his own death and he has the nerve to talk about it without his voice breaking. I swallow the lump in my throat and nod. He goes back to observing the Capitol. I observe him instead, the boy that grew up in just a few hours. It breaks my heart so I play with my ring and await for the moment in which Effie will tell us my first and last train ride has come to an end.