Title: Love & Lies

Author: Steph aka CaptainSwanLuver

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Killian/Emma

Characters: Killian, Emma, , August, Belle, Robin, Gold, Regina

Category: Romance/Drama/Humor

Disclaimer: I do this out of a love for this couple. No infringement is intended.

Spoilers: Nope!

Summary: Emma Swan is the star of the failing soap "Love & Lies". Killian Jones is the star of their rival soap. In order to raise ratings, Killian is hired to star on Emma's soap. They immediately clash. Will sparks fly too?

Note: Thanks for the responses to the last part. Hope you enjoy this part! ~Steph

…Love & Lies: Part 5/11...

Emma took a deep breath as she knocked on August's dressing room door. When he opened it, she walked right past him.

"About earlier," she began.

"I was actually just coming to see you. I wanted to apologize."

"You wanted to apologize?" she asked, her brow wrinkling in confusion.

"Yes, I was wrong to accuse you of not caring about our relationship. I don't want to fight with you, Emma. I don't think that makes for a healthy relationship and I'm sorry for suggesting that it does. My parents fought all of the time when I was a kid. But instead of getting a divorce, they just stopped talking altogether. They are never in the same room. And if they do end up in the same room for more than 30 seconds then it always ends up in a fight. I don't want that for us."

"Neither do I."

"I like what we have, Emma. I don't want to lose you."

He pulled her into his arms. Emma opened her mouth to return the sentiment, but couldn't form the words.

...

The Daytime Emmy's were two weeks later and Emma was in her limo on her way there. She sat lost in thought the entire way, never even speaking to August who sat beside her.

There were a number of reasons Emma didn't want to go to the awards show. The primary reason was that she had lost 10 times. People were beginning to make Susan Lucci jokes about her.

She also didn't have any desire to see Killian. She had done a great job of avoiding him off set for two weeks now and things were very tense between them on set. She figured he was probably a shoe-in for his fourth Emmy for his role on his former soap. She wasn't sure she could stand watching him kiss that prepubescent nit wit model, Fiona, once his name was announced.

Emma sighed heavily as she realized that her limo had just pulled up to the red carpet. She plastered on a smile and slipped her hand into August's as she exited the limo and was greeted by a barrage of camera flashes.

After an excruciating red carpet, during which she constantly had to answer questions about the incredible chemistry she had with Killian, she finally made her way inside to her seat.

Emma groaned when she realized she had been seated right next to Killian. He looked up as she entered the row, his eyes washing over her beautiful figure. Her blonde hair flowed around her shoulders in waves and she wore a red dress that hugged every curve. She took his breath away.

"Do you mind?" she said to him.

"What?" he asked.

"My seat is next to you. I can't get by."

"Oh, sorry," he replied, standing so she could pass.

Emma sat down and then glanced over at the empty seat on his other

side.

"Where's Fiona? Past her bedtime?"

Killian felt his jaw clench. Fiona was a perfectly nice girl, but she was simply a pretty distraction. She only served one purpose: to help him forget about Emma. Unfortunately for him, it wasn't working. He couldn't get Emma off his mind.

"Ladies' room. Where's August?" he responded.

"Men's room."

They fell into an awkward silence then until he finally broke it.

"Good luck tonight," he said sincerely.

Emma was a little surprised that he had spoken to her with such warmth and sincerity given their current relationship. She wondered if maybe in time they could figure out a way to be friends.

"Thank you. You too. Although I think I should dust off my gracious losing face. I doubt my luck will change tonight."

Killian shook his head. "I don't believe that. You deserve to win, Emma. I think tonight is going to be memorable."

Their eyes met and held for a long moment, until the arrival of Fiona and August interrupted them. Emma forced her gaze away from Killian and smiled politely at August as he took his seat beside her.

...

"And the Emmy for Lead Actor in a Daytime Drama goes to...Hunter Mason from 'Love in the Afternoon'.

Emma watched as Killian pasted on a smile and politely clapped for his competition.

"I'm sorry," Emma whispered to him.

"Thank you." He paused and added, "You're up next. Good luck."

Emma took a deep breath as the presenters began reading the nominees. She smiled when they read her name and the camera panned to her.

"And the Emmy for Lead Actress in a Daytime Drama goes to...Emma Swan."

Emma sat frozen to her seat. She was positive she hadn't heard correctly.

"Congratulations!" Killian whispered in her ear, a smile wide on his lips and his eyes sparkling with excitement for her.

Emma vaguely felt August squeeze her hand. On shaky legs, she finally managed to stand. She turned toward the aisle and was met with Killian's grinning face. She didn't even realize what she was doing until she felt his arms wrap around her and pull her close. She squeezed her eyes closed at the feeling of his body against hers.

"You deserve this, Emma. I'm so happy for you, love," he said genuinely.

Emma felt his lips graze her cheek as he released her and she finally made it to the aisle. She didn't notice the look on August's face as she completely ignored him.

Emma slowly made her way to the stage and was handed the Emmy. She stared at it in disbelief for a long moment. The entire thing felt surreal. She shook her head, as she stood in front of the microphone, her hands trembling. She inhaled deeply before beginning.

"To say I didn't expect this would be a huge understatement. I had gotten very good at the polite clapping and gracious smile after losing 10 times. I...I am in complete shock and of course I don't have a speech prepared."

Emma paused and tried to steady her breathing.

"Okay, um, thank you to the network and producers for giving me this job that changed my life. Thank you to the writers for creating a strong character I love playing and am constantly surprised by. Thank you to the crew for working so hard and putting up with me! And thank you to my amazing cast. I could not do what I do everyday without you. Thank you to the fans for sticking with me for 16 years. And last but certainly not least…"

Emma stopped and looked out at the audience. August smiled, anticipating Emma's acknowledgement of him.

"Thank you to my cast mate and best friend, Belle French. You are my family. You are my voice of reason and you keep me grounded. I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you!"

Belle was sitting a few rows behind Emma. She smiled and clapped enthusiastically for her best friend. Emma walked off stage, as August's mouth hung open in shock. He quickly stood up and made his way to the lobby.

Killian watched him go and followed him into the lobby a moment later.

"August? Where in bloody hell are you going?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but I'm going home."

"But Emma just won an Emmy. She'll want to celebrate with you."

"I doubt she'll even notice I'm gone."

"What are you talking about?" Killian asked, shaking his head.

"Oh, you didn't notice? Emma hugged you and ignored me when her name was called. And her speech? Was there any mention of her on and off-screen partner? No. It was as if I don't exist."

"Emma was in shock, mate. She didn't expect to win. It was just an oversight. It didn't mean anything."

August bowed his head, his voice softening. "It meant everything. It spoke volumes about our relationship."

"August, don't do this."

"Tell Emma congratulations for me," he said.

With that, he walked out the door.

A moment later, Emma appeared before Killian.

"Killian, what are you doing out here? They're going to be announcing best daytime drama soon. I think we have a real chance of winning. I snuck out of the press room so I could be with the cast when it's announced. Come on. Let's go."

"Wait. You need to know something first."

"What?"

"August left."

Emma's brow furrowed. "He left? Why?"

"Because you ignored him when your name was announced. And you left him out of your speech."

Emma's mouth dropped open.

"Oh my God. I didn't even realize I did that. It wasn't intentional. I was just in shock."

"I tried telling him that."

"I have to find him."

Emma turned on her heel to leave, but Killian gently grasped her elbow.

"Love, he made it rather clear he didn't want to see you right now."

"But I have to make him understand."

"I'd give him the night to cool off. Speak to him tomorrow."

Emma nodded. "Okay. You're right. I'd probably just make things worse tonight."

...

A half hour later, Emma raced toward the elevator, trying to make it before the doors slid closed. This was no easy task in three inch heels and a skin tight dress.

"Hold the elevator!" she yelled.

She made it just in time, sighing in relief. She was on her way to the network party on the 10th floor. She was hoping to avoid any press who would want to know where August had disappeared to.

Emma glanced over at the person who had held the elevator door open for her and rolled her eyes. Killian.

"You again," she muttered.

"A simple thank you would have sufficed."

He had been perfectly nice to her all evening and had been genuinely happy for her when she won. But she couldn't help herself. Being rude to someone who had hurt her was her defense mechanism. It always had been. It also made it easier for her to keep push her feelings for him aside.

"Where's Fiona? On her way home to make curfew?"

"She left, but for another reason entirely."

"Why? There's going to be a ton of great food at the party. Not that she'd eat any of it."

"We had a fight."

"About what?"

"You."

"Me?" she asked, eyebrows lifting.

Killian nodded. "She accused me of still having feelings for you. She said she saw the way I hugged you and the way I look at you. I told her she was being ridiculous and reminded her that we're not in a relationship anyway. That we're just having fun. That's when she left."

Emma stared at him. "Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Still have feelings for me?"

"Does it matter? You're still with August," he replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Because you said you didn't want to be with me," she replied, trying and failing to keep the hurt out of her voice.

Killian sighed. "Emma, I can't be with someone who won't let me in. Who won't let me see the true person they are."

Emma bit at her lower lip as she watched the numbers on the elevator climb.

"I think it's best if you keep your distance at the party. I don't want anyone seeing us together without our dates and getting the wrong idea," she said.

"As you wish," he replied softly.

They both watched as the numbers reached nine, desperate for this uncomfortable elevator ride to end.

Suddenly, the elevator jerked and stopped abruptly between the ninth and tenth floor.

"What in bloody hell?" Killian said.

"This is not happening!" Emma said, as she began to pound on the buttons with her fist.

"Emma, stop. You'll just make things worse."

Killian pressed the emergency button but nothing happened.

Both of them pulled out their cells and then groaned in frustration when they couldn't get a signal.

Emma suddenly began to feel like she couldn't breathe. She didn't like enclosed spaces. She felt herself gasping for air.

"Are you okay?" Killian asked.

"I don't like enclosed spaces. Since I was a kid," she managed to say.

Killian gently took her arm and helped her sit down.

"Just take little breaths. You'll be fine," he said comfortingly, as he tenderly brushed her hair back from her face.

She nodded and managed a weak smile. "Thank you."

"So you mean to tell me you've been on a soap for sixteen years and you've never done the stuck in an elevator scene?" he asked, attempting to lighten the moment.

Emma laughed. "Of course I have. Several times actually. But it was different. It wasn't a real elevator. We weren't really stuck. I knew I could get out anytime and I knew the scene would eventually end."

"So what brought this on? This fear?" he asked.

Emma stared at him for a long moment. She had never told anyone this before. Not even Belle.

Killian sighed and lowered his gaze. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me."

"I want to," she replied softly.

Killian lifted his head, his eyes wide with surprise. "You do?"

Emma nodded, as she swallowed hard. "I already told you I grew up in foster care."

Killian's bobbed his head, but remained silent.

Emma breathed in and out deeply. "No one really knows that outside my close friends. I was shuffled from foster home to foster home. Most were dismal places with people who had no right to be around children. I was neglected and abused."

Killian felt his heart breaking for her, as tears filled her eyes. He was shocked that Emma was allowing herself to be so open with him. He reached down

and linked their fingers together. Killian expected her to pull away, but she didn't. She looked down at their hands and squeezed his in hers.

"The worst one was when I was six. They would lock me in a closet as

punishment for hours. That's how I got this fear of enclosed places."

Killian lifted his free hand and caressed her face. "I am so sorry you had to go through that, Emma."

Emma nodded, relishing the feel of his touch. She shocked herself at how willing she was to share with him. Maybe Belle was right. She needed to let him know her past so he could understand how she became the woman she was today. She needed him to understand the fears she had.

"It made me stronger though. When I was 14, I couldn't take it anymore and I ran away. I hopped on a bus to LA with aspirations to become an actress. Of course, no decent agency would represent a minor without parental consent, so I had to find someone who worked outside the law. I found an older woman who took in runaways. She gave them a home if they gave her any money they earned from selling drugs or turning tricks. She agreed to pretend to be my foster mother so I could go on auditions with the understanding that she would get a cut of any money I made."

"She sounds dreadful."

"She was, but she's the reason I got the part on the show. A few months after I arrived in L.A., they were holding open casting calls. She came and pretended to be my foster mother. I didn't think I had a chance. There were all of these beautiful, trained girls there. I had never acted a day in my life and I was so nervous. But when I got up there, something happened inside me. The words came and I just knew this is what I was meant to do. I got called back twice more and then finally got the part. Lucky for me, they didn't investigate my background and accepted she was my foster mother and legally allowed to give consent."

"You had quite the start."

Emma nodded. "My character was an immediate hit with the audience. I was playing a surly, spoiled teen and I really pulled it off. Belle was hired around the same time as me and we hit it off immediately. After a few months, I had enough money to get my own place. A fake i.d. will get you a lot."

"So you were living on your own at 14," Killian said.

He was still shocked that she was opening up to him so much. He was afraid if he said the wrong thing then she would clam up again.

"Yes. I knew how to take care of myself, but I was lonely. That is, until I met Neal."

Killian noticed her voice break as she said his name.

"Neal?"

Emma didn't know what had come over her, but she suddenly had a desire to tell him everything about herself. The truth was, there was a part of her that felt like she'd known him forever. She realized talking to him, telling him these terrible parts of her past, wasn't as hard as she had imagined. His sincerity and empathy made her feel comfortable revealing things about herself that she had kept bottled up for years.

She began softly. "I was 16 and he was 18. He was the executive producer's son and he was hired to play my love interest. I fell head over heels in love with him. I thought he felt the same. But everything changed a few months later when I found out I was pregnant."

Killian's mouth dropped open. "You had a child?"

Emma shook her head. "I was so scared. I knew I couldn't take care of a child. So I decided to give it up for adoption. But when Neal and his father found out, they told me I had to get an abortion. They said that even if they could manage to hide my growing belly on screen, it would be a huge scandal having the underage star of a soap pregnant by the executive producer's older son. More than anything though he wanted to protect his son. I told him I didn't want an abortion, but he threatened to fire me if I didn't agree. I was so scared of losing everything. I had fought so hard to get where I was. I was scared I'd end up back on the streets with nothing. I begged Neal to talk to his father, but he refused and said it was for the best. I knew in that moment he never loved me. But I felt I had no choice, so I went through with the abortion." Emma paused, tears now streaming down her face. "And I've regretted it ever since."

Killian stared at her for a long moment, finally understanding why she became the woman she did. She had her heart broken at sixteen so she never let anyone get close again. She fought to get where she is today and that's why she sees everyone as a threat to her. She's scared of losing it all so she comes off as this defensive diva.

Killian reached up and brushed a tear off her cheek with his thumb. "Thank you for telling me," he whispered.

Emma stared into his eyes. "Thank you for listening," she replied. She lowered her eyes. "Only Belle knows about the abortion. I never even told August."

Killian's eyes widened in surprise. "I am honored you trusted me enough to share that part of your life with me."

Emma offered him a gentle smile. It felt freeing to finally open up to him.

Their gazes met and held for a long moment. Killian lifted his hand and cupped Emma's cheek, as he leaned towards her. His eyes scanned her face, looking for some sign of hesitation but he found none. Emma closed her eyes, waiting for his lips to touch hers.

Just then, the elevator jerked upwards and the doors slid open. Emma and Killian's lips were less than an inch apart and they were still so lost in the moment that they didn't even notice they had an audience. Standing outside the elevator, there was a gaggle of fans who had somehow managed to make it up to the 10th floor where the network was holding their party. They were hoping to get a glimpse of their favorite soap stars. They got more than they bargained for. And without Killian and Emma realizing it, their camera phones had caught it all.

Emma and Killian finally snapped out of the moment and quickly separated. Their mouths dropped open as they stared at a dozen fans who had just witnessed their near kiss.

…

End of Part 5

Thanks for reading! I'd appreciate any feedback you'd like to give! ~Steph