AN: See? I told ya, double update!
Chapter eight
There was a knock on my door. I looked up, suddenly ripped from my book and back to reality. Everything in my apartment had been quiet until now. The dragons and tiger had gone out for food and after what had happened earlier today, I needed some quiet time. The TV was off, there was no music on, there was just me reading one of my favourite books.
The new silence was broken by ongoing banging on my door. "Iiiiink!" Deadpool whined from the other side of the door, "You said we could hang oouuut!" I sighed and put down the book, I wouldn't be reading anymore of Anna Dressed in Blood tonight. Normally I wasn't into that kind of thing, but it coming up to Halloween and I wanted to be scared.
I got up from the armchair and walked though the apartment to the front door. I was surprised that Deadpool had knocked rather than just kicking down the door and announcing here was here. I opened the door.
"So explain the whole 'Ink fell into another universe' thing." He said. He was leaning against the frame with my SHIELD profile in his gloved hand, he was pointing to it with the other.
"Doesn't it say?" I asked, balancing on my tip toes to get a better look at the profile.
"No it just says 'It is reported that Ink fell into another universe, although it is not confirmed.'" He read out, putting on a stupid voice.
"Ahh, you'll love that story," I said, remembering. I didn't like what I had done in that alternate universe. However I was pretty sure that Deadpool would love it. "Come on in and I'll tell you all about it." I gestured my head to behind me and led him into the living room.
"I'm really feeling the absence of imaginary creatures here." Deadpool commented when he noticed that the creatures were gone.
"They're not imaginary," I retorted.
"Oh, good. I'm prone to hallucinations, paranoid thoughts and seeing things that aren't really there." He told me.
"I'm insulted, you've seen my power first hand. How's the five mill holding up?" I asked.
"It's great, I bought my self some more shooty and pointy things." Deadpool looked around. "Where are the magical creatures?"
"They're out hunting," I informed him.
"So, we've got the place to ourselves?" He sounded hopeful.
I gave him a warning look. "Not in that sense. I actually planned on binge watching 'Call the Midwife'" I admitted.
Wade looked confused. "What's 'Call the Midwife'?"
"British drama," I said, giggling. "The rest you can figure out."
"Ewww..." He said when he did figure it out. "You British actually watch that?"
"It's good!" I insisted, "It's better than what this country says is drama. I also need to catch up on 'The Great British Bake Off'."
"Are you planning on watching that now?" Wade asked. He sounded like he was starting to regret coming here tonight.
"Well I was going to tell you about the time I fell into an alternate universe, but if you insist I will watch it with you," I said jokingly.
"No, no, I wasn't insisting. Please go on with your story." He prompted.
I wondered if he would take his mask off again. I mean, there was no need. I had already seen what he looked like and didn't run away screaming. And we were alone, no dragons, no tigers, just us. Yaaay! I thought sarcastically.
"Hmmm... where do I start?" I asked myself and dropped onto my armchair. I moved my book out the way and grabbed a book mark. I did want to carry on with the book later. Wade sat on the sofa next the armchair. He had to move some knitting out of the way though.
"What's this?" He asked, holing up the soon to be scarf.
"I'm knitting a scarf." I said. I took the scarf out of his hands and placed it on the nearest coffee table.
"I thought that's what old ladies do," He pointed out.
"Anyone can learn to knit. It's not just for old ladies." I said. "I could knit you a hat in a weekend if you wanted me to."
"I want you to tell the story!" He whined.
"Right well, I guess it started off as a normal day, or as normal as you could get when you were a super hero. But the atmosphere was tense. The Convergence had come on gone and it was almost like the world was holding its breath for something." I started, setting the scene.
"Wait, wait, wait." Wade said cutting me off and taking all of the atmosphere I had just created and throwing it out of the window. "What's the Convergence?"
"You know of the nine realms, right?" Wade nodded. "Well, the Convergence is when all of the nine realms of Yggdrasil, I can name them if you want,"
"Please don't,"
"Align perfectly." I continued. "During this time, space between the nine realms becomes screwy. Portals open up and you can get anywhere in the nine realms through these portals. They also allow any old riff raff to come through."
"Like the thing that happened in London with Thor?"
"Yeah," I confirmed. "I would've helped out there if I could but instead I was glued to the TV screen, like any other mortal idiot.
"Anyway, the Convergence had left the world not quite right. There were portals open everywhere. Thankfully they were restricted to Midgard. Otherwise mortals would just start popping up all over the place, and that wouldn't be good."
"No, it wouldn't" Deadpool agreed.
"SHIELD shut off the areas as best they could. They were mostly out of the way places anyway. All except for one.
"I was walking down a busy street in New York one day. It had been a fairly boring day, no real need for a superhero. Then I hear a scream. I see a kid run out into the middle of the road to try and get a ball he had dropped. He hadn't got hit by any of the oncoming vehicles, yet. I had to do something, I couldn't just watch if the kid got hurt. So I ran out into the road, dropping everything and changing into my Jotun form. I pushed the kid out of the way to safety. I, however, was not safe. A lorry slammed into me and sent me spinning down the street.
"I felt the air shimmer and change. When I had finally stopped rolling, I got up and saw I was in a totally different place. The time of day was also different. It was no where I had been before and I was pretty sure I was still in America."
"Where were you?" Wade asked.
"Turns out I was in Gotham."
"...What?"
I laughed. "I told you I had fallen into another universe, what did you expect?"
"Not Batman, that's for sure."
"Well, I have a theory. If enough people think or believe in something, then it can create another separate universe." I told him.
"So we could be imaginary?" He asked me.
I shrugged, "I try not to think about it too much."
"I try not to think."
"I gathered that." I said, "Now where was I?"
"You were in Gotham..." Wade prompted.
"I was in Gotham," I started, "And something inside me snapped. I became incredibly moody and angry. I decided that I should go off and find out more about the city.
"I ended up finding the under belly of the city quickly and decided that I should work as a hired mercenary. I had no life there, so to speak, I wasn't anybody. I had all the skill to become a mercenary. For some reason, I didn't want to be a super hero anymore, or for the time being. It was extremely out of character for me.
"So I send out word that I'm open for hire as a mercenary and several crime lord bosses call me back. They laugh at my face when they find out that I'm a woman. They don't take me seriously." I said. "That made me even more annoyed. Then some guy approaches me. He's not from a gang or a crime lord, but he says he'll hire me."
"Who was he?" Wade asked. He was lying front down on the sofa, his elbows resting on the arm and his head in his hands. He swung his legs above him like a little kid.
"The Joker." I said. I shrugged. "He gave me the details of a bank heist he was planning. So far he had hired several other mercenaries, a hacker that specialises in alarms and a guy that can unlock vault doors."
"Everyone you need for a bank robbery."
"Exactly," I agreed. "So I get to the pickup point and a SUV swerves to a stop beside me. I get in, knowing that it was the vehicle that would take us to the bank. I put on the clown mask I was required to have as I get in. The two guys at the front have the same kind of masks as well. The y find it hilarious that a woman is a hired mercenary.
"Did you kill them?"
I gave him a smile, "Not yet." I go on. "They say that they've got one more guy to pick up, then it's on to the bank. The last guy gets in and they start talking about the shares of money and who hired them. There are six guys in all, including me. The hacker and the vault guy are on the roof and there are us four in the car. There are seven shares because it includes the guy who planned it all, which they don't find fair.
"We get to the bank. The other guys have already disarmed the alarm. We go in and start shooting at the ceiling, telling everyone to get down and wait. No one presses the emergency button; well we stop them before they can. I give out live grenades to all of the civilians, telling them to hold on tight 'cause if they don't, they go boom.
"Then a guy we missed comes out with a shot gun. He shoots and his one all as we dive for cover. One of the mercenaries thinks he's out and tries to shoot him. He's not out and the mercenary gets shot. I realise the guy with the shot gun is out and I shoot him in the arm. Not fatal if he's treated.
"They guys who got shot goes to the vault to go get the money. I and the other guy make sure no one tries to run for it. Some think they can appeal to me because I'm a girl. I make sure that they don't keep thinking that. The money gets dragged from the vault in five or six big bags.
"The guy who brought the money loads his gun and aims it at us. I'm betting the Joker told you to kill me soon as we loaded the cash. He says. That's when I notice we're two guys short. The mercenaries had been killing each other for bigger shares. I guess The Joker thought that I wouldn't last long enough to tell me that little detail.
"No, no, no I kill the bus driver. The other mercenary says and steps to the side. I recognise his voice. The other mercenary moves the other way so he's still in the line of fire. Bus driver? The guy asks, What bus driver? Then the back of the bus slams through the side of the building and onto that mercenary.
"Yet another guy gets out of the back of the bus and starts loading the money into the back of the bus. I hold onto my gun, but also help load. The new guy gets shot as soon as we're finished. The final guy then turns to me with the gun. I knew who he was from the very moment he said something. I'm good at placing voices.
"If this is about the money, take it, I don't want a share. I say. The guy doesn't lower his gun. So I show him my Jotun side. Not the whole growing to 7'10" and going blue, but just the ice forming thing. I didn't know if the charms on my clothes would work there or not."
"Why'd you show him that you could control ice?" Wade asked.
"Because I was selfish and I wanted to live." I shrugged. "At that point I instantly become more valuable to the Joker alive rather than dead. I get in the school bus as he finishes with the guy with the shot gun. Turns out it was a mob bank."
"The same guys who refused to hire you?"
"The very same," I confirm.
"So it's basically the start of the film The Dark Knight but with you in it?" Wade asked.
I lower my eyebrows. "Wait, you've seen the film?" I asked.
"Yeah, that movie was #&$%£* awesome!"
"So why did I bother describing the first five minutes to you?" I asked, annoyed.
"I dunno, but it sounds like all of those other weird fanfictions you hear about."
"What?" I asked, confused.
"What?" He asked me back. I groaned. I hated it when he did this. Wade would say something that doesn't make sense and then forget he had ever said it when you ask him to explain.
"Did you fight Batman?" He asked.
"Surprisingly, only once or twice." I said.
"Even though it was his film?"
"I wasn't in the film, I was in the universe." I corrected. "I was muscle for the Joker, why would I bother with Batman?"
"Hey, do you have the film here?" He said, perking up.
"Yeah..."
"Let's watch it and you can talk me through all the bits you're in and you're not in!"
"Oh, come on, not right now..." I said, sagging.
"It'll be better then whatever weird British thing you were gonna watch."
"No it wouldn't."
"Come on, baking verses Batman beating the crap out of people?" Wade insisted.
"Ugh, fine." I gave in. I got up and walked over to my DVD shelf and slid the film out of its place. "You'd better not tell SHEILD or the Avengers. I'd be thrown into a mental asylum and I would be no longer welcome at Avengers Tower."
"A mental asylum... Like Arkam?"
"After the events of this." I waved the film case, "I was actually sentenced for the Arkam Asylum."
"So how did you get back?"
"I got hit by another truck."
"Of course!"
I put the DVD in the player and grabbed the remote. I cosied back down into my arm chair. "Shall I skip the first five minutes?" I asked.
"No, that's the best bit!" He said. "Hey, do you have any food?"
"Is this turning into a movie night?" I asked as I skipped the ads.
"Eh, why not?"
"Fine," I got up and threw the remote back down to the arm chair. "I've got butterkis, crisps and various confectionaries." I said, poking around in the cupboards.
"Can you translate that into American?"
"Pop corn, potato chips, sweets and chocolate." I translated, it sounded funny with my English accent.
"Nice."
I sighed and grabbed a handful of everything, keeping the posh chocolate to myself.
AN: Just a little clarification, the reason why I did the whole Ink fell into another universe thing is so that it actually opens up the fanfic to all kinds of different crossovers and stuff (which I do plan to do). So if you ever see Deadpool and Ink traipsing around in another universe or crossover fic, you know why!