Did you see him yet?
stop texting me
I am trying to be helpful, since our parting was a less than positive one.
i never want to talk to you again
But you have not blocked my number?
go away
I have a feeling you believe this to be all my fault?
IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT
It may be partially my fault, but I believe it is also your fault
go fuck yourself
I have to get back to practice. I will contact you again when I can.
He wonders why he still hasn't blocked Ushijima's number from his phone.
"You really need to see a doctor."
Oikawa looks up from his computer, seeing Michimiya hanging over his cubicle wall with a concerned frown.
Oikawa blinks, "Hmm?"
"Do you think we can't notice your limp when you get up to refill your coffee?" The woman begins, raising a brow.
Oikawa laughs lightly, "Is it that obvious?" He sighs out, leaning back in his chair.
"What even happened?" Michimiya asks, moving to lean against the open side of Oikawa's work spot. She's giving him a critical look.
Oikawa would rather not share the fact that a 5 year old had kicked him hard enough to reignite his old sports injury. He's pretty sure he would lose all respect if he admitted that.
Instead he tells a half-truth, "It's an old injury from volleyball that I seemed to have aggravated." He confesses, and he hopes he sounds sincere enough that she doesn't press.
She takes the bait, "Oh that's terrible! Sports injuries are the worse, they stick with you." And Oikawa remembers that she played volleyball in high school too and he smiles a bit, "You know, I know a great doctor who specializes in this kind of stuff."
Oikawa straightens up, "You do?"
"Yep, super nice, super knowledgeable. Dr. Ryuugazaki. I can hook you up with his number." She offers, already slipping her phone out of her pocket to scroll through her contacts. Oikawa grabs at his phone too.
He had been putting off a doctor visit mostly because he really didn't know where to go, and the fact he was hoping he could walk it off. But after a week it was clear the pain was here to stay. And it would only get worse.
"You ready?" She asks and after he gives a nod she recites the number and the address of the clinic. "Now make an appointment and get it checked out ok? Seriously, don't you know how to take care of yourself by now?" She teases and Oikawa lets out a light chuckle and waves her off. It feels likes something his friends would have said back in high school.
It's amazing how little can change.
It's amazing how much can change
She gives him another encouraging smile before trotting off to her own desk, back to her own work.
Oikawa looks at the number in his phone and makes a mental note to call the office as soon as he clocks out.
Oikawa steps inside the clinic, trying not to visibly wince. It seems his knee had only gotten worse with each passing day, and so he hopes the doctor can prescribe him some painkillers. He checks in and the receptionist hands him a form to fill out. He's used to this, and fills it out easily before taking a seat.
He sits there and waits for about a half hour, reading through the magazines and playing dumb apps on his phone. The office is quite packed around him with people filing in and out quite regularly. Still, he's beginning to get impatient.
When he's about to get up to complain, despite the pain that would surge from his knee, his name is called. He plasters on a smile and follows a nurse to another waiting room.
"Someone will come see you soon so take a seat for a now." She repeats mechanically, ticking something off her clipboard. Before Oikawa is even able to try some nice flirty small talk she disappears and the door shuts with a clack. They must be really busy today.
Oikawa huffs and hops onto the examination bed. He sits there, legs dangling and pokes at his painful knee, hissing at even the slightest touches. He decides to roll up his pant leg to reveal the swollen joint, reddened up from the abuse. He frowns at it.
It surely doesn't look good.
Definitely not as bad as the initial injury, however.
Oikawa has to wait another twenty minutes before being visited. He spends the time poking his knee masochistically and playing candy crush. He's incredibly bored and a part of him wants to wander the halls and another part of him reminds him he can barely walk. He feels a whine building up in the back of his throat, but there's no one here to whine at.
The door opens.
Oikawa sits up.
"Hello, the doctor is a bit backlogged at the moment so I'll be checking you first." The nurse that steps in apologizes and Oikawa grips the examination bed tightly, breath catching in his throat, "My name is Iwaiz-"
The nurse falls silent when he finally looks up.
Oikawa stares at Iwaizumi and Iwaizumi stares back at him. And the silence is deafening and Oikawa has no idea what to do.
"No." Iwaizumi says, eloquently. "No." His hands fall to his sides limply.
Oikawa kind of wants to laugh.
He kind of wants to cry.
And then Iwaizumi leaves the room entirely and Oikawa lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He sits there, trying to wrap his head around the fact that Iwaizumi is apparently a nurse now, and he had somehow managed to find the clinic he works in out of all the clinics possible in Tokyo.
The door opens again and it reveals Iwaizumi, looking angry.
Oikawa looks up at him.
"There are no other nurses available at the moment to see you." Iwaizumi states strictly, looking at the clipboard, instead of his face, "So I'm looking you over."
Oikawa's throat is very dry and he can't seem to make words so he just kind of nods slightly. He wonders if Iwaizumi can see the fear in his brown eyes. He wonders if Iwaizumi knows how sorry he is. He wonders if Iwaizumi knows that he hasn't changed in ten years.
"What's the problem?" Iwaizumi continues, coming over, trying to put on a neutral face. He's incredibly tense, uncomfortable, upset. Oikawa can't blame him.
"I'm sorry." Is not what Oikawa means to come tumbling out of his mouth, but it's the phrase that does. Iwaizumi seems to stiffen and his neutral mask falls away immediately.
"How the fuck did you find me?" He demands, hissing the comment out lest he be heard by his fellow nurses.
"I didn't know!" Oikawa defends, and it almost sounds like a cry, high-pitched and wavering, "I honestly had no idea you worked here! My co-worker just gave me the number for the clinic."
Iwaizumi doesn't look convinced but he drops it, taking a breath and trying again, "What's the problem?"
Oikawa licks his dry lips, "Uh, my knee." He answers, pointing at the swollen thing.
Iwaizumi frowns and leans in, examining the injury. He takes the leg in his hands and Oikawa can't help the shiver that runs down his body. If Iwaizumi notices he doesn't comment. He's focusing. He turns his leg gently and Oikawa lets out a pained hiss.
"What the fuck did you do to yourself?" Iwaizumi demands roughly, and Oikawa wants to smile because if anything it feels like a question for his high school self.
"I didn't do anything!" He defends quickly, and then his ears redden a little as he answers, "It's from when your uh, daughter kicked me."
Iwaizumi blinks, sitting up to look at him in the face for the first time, "Are you serious?"
Oikawa turns away, pursing his lips and feeling his face redden. This is humiliating.
He looks back when Iwaizumi says nothing to find the other trying to suppress a smile. Oikawa doesn't want to admit how his heart jumps at the sight.
"Oh my god are you smiling?" Oikawa asks incredulously, "at your patient's pain."
And Iwaizumi lets out a little laugh, turning a bit to the side, "I'm so proud of her." He whispers to himself.
"Are you serious? Iwa-ch-!" Oikawa falters then and bites his lip. Iwaizumi quiets down. They stand there in awkward silence. And after a moment Iwaizumi goes back to examining his knee.
He pokes at it a few more times in certain places and Oikawa can't help the little pained noises he lets out because it really fucking hurts. Iwaizumi frowns, and he rolls Oikawa's pants further up his thigh. It makes Oikawa a bit nervous, and he swallows. Iwaizumi's hands on his thighs does things to him, reminds him of so many other times where they'd run across the pale smooth skin. Playful touches. Loving touches. He'd rather not think about it. Iwaizumi doesn't say anything.
After a moment Iwaizumi speaks up, voice trained, "I don't think you've broken or fractured anything, but we'll give you an x-ray just in case. After that the doctor should be able to check in on you and decide anything." He stands up, "I'll go get a wheelchair and wheel you over. Don't move."
He leaves, and Oikawa notices how hard his heart is beating, and that he's been gripping the edge of the examination bed tight enough to rip the paper he's sitting on. He lets out a sigh, cupping his face in his hands. How could this have happened? Was this a second chance? Was this fate? Was this a joke?
Iwaizumi returns with a wheelchair as promised and Oikawa climbs in and feels very silly. Because he can walk. It's just excruciatingly painful. And it's just weird that Iwaizumi is pushing him around in one. Like they hadn't only re-met a week and a half ago. Like he hadn't fucked up a decade ago.
Everything is weird.
Oikawa wants to speak up again but he's being traded off to another nurse. Iwaizumi is speaking to her and then leaves without so much as a glance at Oikawa. The brunet bites his lip, but listens attentively to the new nurse's instructions.
After his x-rays he's wheeled back into his room. He's happy to get out of the wheelchair. He picks at the paper he's seated on as he waits for the doctor to arrive with the results. It takes another twenty minutes, and Oikawa wonders if he'll have to spend the rest of his days in this waiting room, wallowing in misery.
The door opens and it's Iwaizumi again, "Nothing's broken like I thought." He starts explaining without pre-amble, "You do have more little tears in your tendon than I thought though, meaning you aren't taking care of yourself like you should be."
Oikawa scratches the back of his neck but says nothing, "The doctor will prescribe you some pain medication. Don't do any physical activity for the next few weeks and ice it as often as you can. Oh, do you need a brace?"
"I still have my old one in a box somewhere." Oikawa responds with a wave. Iwaizumi nods and there's something in his eyes that Oikawa can't really decipher.
"Do you have anymore questions?" Iwaizumi asks mechanically, glancing through his clipboard to make sure he hasn't forgotten anything.
There are so many questions on Oikawa's mind, and he blurts out the first thing, "So you're married?"
Iwaizumi visibly tenses, "Questions about your knee." He clarifies, and the grip on his pen is incredibly tight.
Oikawa shakes his head, swallowing. Iwaizumi seems to hesitate where he's standing, like he has something on the tip of his tongue. Something he needs to say. Something he has to say.
But he says nothing.
He turns to go and Oikawa can't help his desperate call, "Wait!"
Iwaizumi pauses at the door.
"I.." Oikawa bites his lip, "Can't we meet up for lunch? Somewhere? Just to...to talk?" He tries, and it sounds so pathetic coming from him. He feels pathetic. He is pathetic.
Iwaizumi's grip on the knob tightens. He doesn't turn back to face him, "Don't do this to me, Oikawa." He hisses.
"I! I...I don't know what to do." Oikawa pleads, leaning forward.
Iwaizumi still won't turn around.
"How do I fix this? Please, Iwaizumi, I-"
"I still don't even know why you cut me off!" Iwaizumi snaps, whirling around, "Do you think you can ignore my existence for ten years and then come back like everything's ok?"
"I don't-"
"You can't just press pause when something happens and think you can come back to it like nothing. I'm my own person, Oikawa. I have a life too. I have my own life."
"I know-"
"The world does not revolve around you!" Iwaizumi growls.
"I know-"
"I don't think you know shit, Oikawa."
And now Oikawa is getting angry himself, frustration spilling out, "Will you just let me talk!?"
Iwaizumi whirls around then, "Oh, isn't it awful? When someone won't respond to you?"
Oikawa shuts his mouth and grips the table again.
Iwaizumi is so angry he's shaking and it looks like he has a lot more to say but he...deflates. Oikawa blinks.
"Look," Iwaizumi sighs, and it's like all his anger leaves him in that one breath, replaced only with exhaustion, "I...I didn't even know you were back in Japan. I'd accepted never seeing you again." He starts to confess, "But then you just appear, like a ghost. But I've moved on Oikawa. I have responsibilities. Things can't be like they were then. Just...Just leave me alone."
"I don't...I'm not..." Oikawa bites his lip, trying to find the right words that normally flow so easily for him, "I just want to be your friend again." He begs, looking up at him.
Iwaizumi isn't looking at him, "Why the fuck did you stop talking to me?" He whispers.
Oikawa licks his dry lips, "I..." But he can't. He can't say it. Not here, not now.
Iwaizumi grits his teeth and turns back toward the door. Oikawa rests his face in his hands. He hates himself.
"I can't be your friend." Iwaizumi starts, "If you can't even tell me that."
Oikawa inhales sharply, letting it out through his nose. He's surprised Iwaizumi is even still in the room. Is even still giving him another chance to speak up. So many chances. He's been given so many chances.
Oikawa takes none of them.
Iwaizumi grabs the knob on the door. Before he's completely out the door he adds in a soft voice, "Make sure you take the medication and stay off that knee as much as possible."
And then he's gone.
And Oikawa wonders if it's healthy to cry this often.
sorry for the wait! i was busy sewing cosplay and attending otakon lol
we're back with more sads lmao
i hope you like!
reviews make me smile
see you next time