The ball sails past both of them, hitting the court like a dead weight, Hanamaki's fist just a centimeter too short. The referee blows his whistle, the crowd cheers.
Oikawa's hands are tight fists at his side. Iwaizumi is gritting his teeth.
They line up.
Their last match of their second year of high school is over.
They've lost.
It's bitter in the locker room. The third years aren't speaking. The first years are crying for them. Matsukawa stares at his gym bag, unmoving. Hanamaki stares at his hands. They're all moving in slow motion, gathering their things.
Their captain says something, they respond robotically and all move out to go eat.
Oikawa doesn't budge.
Iwaizumi knows what he's thinking, because he's thinking the same damn thing.
I let our senpais down.
Because this was different than last year's lost. This time they were starting players. This time, Oikawa was their starting setter.
This time was supposed to be different.
Iwaizumi throws a fist at the wall in frustration, and the tears start falling down his crinkled face.
Oikawa looks back at him, eyes soft.
"Iwa-chan." He murmurs, and he can't bear to look his best friend in the eye, so he stares at the towel he's gripping in his hands, "I'm sorry." He chokes out.
Iwaizumi stares at him, "Don't." He hisses, "Don't fucking apologize."
Oikawa loses it then, gripping the towel in his fist and twisting it tightly "It's my fault they read my toss!"
"It's my fault they received my spike!"
"It's my fault I didn't block their spike!"
"It's my fault too!"
"Iwa-chan!" Oikawa cries, and he crumples over a little, hugging himself tightly. The towel falls to the ground with a wet slap. His fingers dig into his arms and his tears won't stop, "I'm so-so frustrated."
"You think I'm not either?" Iwaizumi snaps, coming over in a rush.
"It's like no matter what we do, he can just smash through it. No matter what we think up together he ruins it in his-his stupid Ushijima way!"
Iwaizumi wipes at his eyes, letting out a growl because he can't even think through his anger to respond in words. Oikawa understands. He lets go of himself, reaching out to tug Iwaizumi close, to hold him, to cling to him.
Iwaizumi returns the hold.
"Iwa-chan." Oikawa hisses, burying his face in his shoulders, "I hate losing." His fingers dig into the back of Iwaizumi's jersey, gripping the sweaty fabric tightly in his fingers.
"Next year." And it's all Iwaizumi says, but he says it like a promise. Oikawa half believes him.
They stay like that a moment, wrapped together, taking a ragged breath and trying to stem the tears. They give themselves this moment. It's too short. They pull apart because their team is waiting for them. And they don't want them getting suspicious.
Despite the fear, Iwaizumi grips Oikawa's hand, squeezing it tightly. Oikawa squeezes back. He wipes at his eyes with his other hand, trying to take a calming breath.
"Iwa-chan." Oikawa starts again, voice still raw and shaky despite his efforts, "When we get home, can I kiss you?"
"You don't have to ask." Iwaizumi replies. They each take another deep breath and head out of the locker room together. When they cross over the doorway, they let go of each other completely.
Outside of the gym the team is loitering, Matsukawa and Hanamaki give them a distracted wave. Their eyes are raw as well. No one comments on it. Now that everyone is accounted for the team heads out together, into the darkening sky.
They're at Iwaizumi's house and Oikawa won't stop kissing him.
His hands slide all across Iwaizumi's body, fingers rubbing and squeezing, desperate for contact. Iwaizumi can only grip onto Oikawa's back, from where he's lying on his back on his bed.
They break apart for breath, resting their foreheads on each other. Iwaizumi feels a few drops fall on his cheek and he sees Oikawa is tearing up again. He wipes them away with his thumb. Oikawa squeezes his eyes shut and sits up, perched on top of Iwaizumi.
He wipes at his nose with the back of his arms.
"You're an ugly crier." Iwaizumi tries to lighten the mood. Oikawa swats him weakly, but remains upset.
"I'm just so mad." He hisses, looking up at the cieling in an attempt to make the tears go away. As if gravity will force them back in. Iwaizumi watches the ceiling too. It gives him an idea.
"Get off me." He orders, unceremoniously. Oikawa blinks but shuffles off him, sniffling a bit. Iwaizumi sits up, swinging his legs off the bed and getting up. Oikawa watches him, brows furrowed and eyes searching.
Iwaizumi motions for him to follow.
It's late in the night and both his parents are asleep. The pair of teenagers sneak down to his front door, slip on their shoes and traverse to his backyard. They're silent, and Oikawa doesn't question Iwaizumi's path as he leads him to the little creek, and the old tree bridge lying over it.
They climb onto it and Iwaizumi sits down in the middle of it. He pats the spot beside him and Oikawa joins him wordlessly.
It's smaller then they remember, but they don't mind being pressed close against each other.
"Oikawa." Iwaizumi begins, collecting his thoughts carefully.
"Yeah?" Oikawa glues his eyes to him, waiting for the words Iwaizumi will carefully craft to make him feel better.
"Ushijima is a shithead."
Oikawa laughs, a grin breaking out on his red tear stained face. His fingers dig into the bark of the fallen tree, and he turns to Iwaizumi, eyes glinting, "Iwa-chan, you have such a way with words."
Iwaizumi snorts, but he's grinning too, looking over at his best friend, "Shut up."
"I mean it. You're turning me on." Oikawa teases, leaning forward and pecking him on the mouth.
"Pervert." Iwaizumi barks back, but he leans over to press his own kiss.
Oikawa smiles, "But why out here?" He wonders against his lips.
Iwaizumi hums, taking Oikawa's chin to lift his face up, "You're always happier lookin' at the stars."
Oikawa reddens then, fingers digging into the bark enough for pieces to chip away. Iwaizumi flushes a bit himself, realizing how corny the words are once they leave him.
Oikawa doesn't respond, but takes in the view of the countless stars spanning above him. And then he's tearing up again, biting his lip tightly to keep from crying.
Iwaizumi frowns, letting go of the other's face.
"Iwa-chan isn't allowed to be so nice to me." Oikawa murmurs, wiping at his face quickly.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Iwaizumi snaps back, "You're my best friend. More than that."
Oikawa's ears burn. He lifts his feet up to hug his knees. And the next thing he says he doesn't mean to come out. They're words he means to whisper into his knees, but its very quiet in the night and they carry, "I don't deserve it."
He grips his knees tighter.
Iwaizumi furrows his brows, "What the hell is that supposed to mean? What happened to that huge ego of yours."
Oikawa's fingernails dig into his skin and he looks down.
Iwaizumi stares at him with a frown. Something clenches in his heart.
"I want to be better." Oikawa hisses finally, eyes focused on the dark creek beneath them.
"Everybody wants to be better." Iwaizumi assures.
But no, Oikawa thinks, as he peaks over at Iwaizumi. Because Iwaizumi is honest, and good, and nice, and strong, and everything Oikawa isn't. And Oikawa needs to be better, so he doesn't drag Iwaizumi down. Because he needs Iwaizumi much more than Iwaizumi could ever need him.
Because it's very obvious why Oikawa would want someone like Iwaizumi. The opposite doesn't hold as true.
His thoughts are interrupted as he feels Iwaizumi's chin on his shoulder. It makes him turns his head. Iwaizumi takes the moment to lock their lips, hand coming up to cup Oikawa's face. Oikawa kisses him back earnestly, under the stars, as the tears keep rolling down his cheeks.
He needs to be better.
Oikawa slams another ball across the silent court, panting heavily. He'd been at it for hours now, and the sweat was starting to blur his vision. His arms feel like jelly and his legs burn. But he knows he can last another ten minutes.
Just ten more minutes.
He grabs another ball from the ground, wiping some sweat from his forehead and taking in a breath. He readies his serve, running forward and sending the ball into the air before slamming it down, hard.
He smiles despite everything.
"Oikawa!"
He swivels around in alarm to see Iwaizumi storming into the gym, looking pissed.
Oikawa waves at him, albeit a bit weakly.
"What the hell are you doing in the gym so late?" Iwaizumi snaps, but his eyes only show through with worry.
Oikawa can't seem to find words at the moment, and he's still panting heavily. He's feeling a bit woozy. Iwaizumi frowns deeper, coming over and steadying him. "Shit, you're soaked." He grumbles, and helps his friend to sit at one of the bleachers. "Are you staying hydrated?"
Oikawa points at his discarded bottle, and Iwaizumi fills it up for him before handing it over. Oikawa gulps it down, almost chocking on the liquid. Iwaizumi frowns deeper.
"Thanks, Iwa-chan." Oikawa finally manages, wiping his mouth with the back of forearm, "But there's no need to worry!"
Iwaizumi raises a brow, "Do you think I'm an idiot?"
Oikawa frowns.
"How long have you been doing this? Is this why you won't walk home with me anymore? Cause you're holing yourself up here practicing til you pass out?"
"I'm fine, Iwa-chan." Oikawa interjects, taking another drink.
"Like hell you are." Iwaizumi snarls, "Stop overworking yourself. Interhigh isn't even until after the third years graduate."
Oikawa grimaces, "You worry too much."
"I have to." Iwaizumi snaps, sitting down beside him, "Since you don't seem to have any instincts for self preservation in that stupid ass head of yours."
Oikawa hums tiredly, pressing the cold bottle to his forehead, "At least I'm pretty right?" He teases.
Iwaizumi swats his arm and Oikawa sighs. Iwaizumi pinches his cheek and Oikawa whines loudly with a fierce pout, trying to pull his hand anyway. Iwaizumi takes the moment to lean forward, kissing him briefly.
Oikawa blinks at him, and looks away, "Don't kiss me, I'm all gross and sweaty."
Iwaizumi hits him on the head and Oikawa cries out, cradling the spot.
"Go shower. You're done practicing." Iwaizumi orders. Oikawa groans but goes to follow orders, standing up.
Only to find his legs trembling. Maybe he had been over exerting himself. Iwaizumi grabs him, "Oh my god, are you serious?" He exhales, and his grip is tight and protective, "Can you even stand on your own?"
Oikawa lets out a dry laugh, "I don't know anymore...It was never this bad before..."
Iwaizumi grits his teeth, "Come on. I'll help you."
Oikawa smiles, "My knight in shining armor."
"Shut it."
By the time they reach the locker room Oikawa is fine standing on his own, but Iwaizumi doesn't trust him. Especially not on wet slippery tile.
"No." Oikawa says firmly, a bit red, "You are not helping me shower."
Iwaizumi is already taking his shirt off, "I've seen you naked like every other day. Since when did you have any shame?"
Oikawa splutters, "This is different."
"Shut up." Iwaizumi growls, because he's honestly really angry at Oikawa for doing this to himself. But he's also angry at himself for allowing it to happen. "We've showered together before."
"Yeah, when we were kids." Oikawa insists weakly, but he seems mostly defeated, as he slips his own sweaty shirt off. "It's weird...now..."
"It's only weird if you make it weird." Iwaizumi continues, but he hesitates before taking off his boxers, "Are you actually uncomfortable? I just want to make sure you don't crack your head open like the moron you are."
Oikawa pauses a moment and purses his lips a little, "It's fine." He decides, but he won't meet Iwaizumi's gaze.
"You're doing it wrong." Oikawa mutters from where he's seated on the shower stool, eyes closed to keep the suds out of his eyes. He feels Iwaizumi's fingers dig into his scalp more forcefully and he whines, "Don't be mean to my hair." He insists.
Iwaizumi lightens up, and starts massaging the scented shampoo into the strands, going slower. Oikawa smiles, humming a little. Because it's nice. It feels nice.
Iwaizumi keeps playing in his hair, long after the shampoo is washed away by the steady stream of water. Oikawa decides not to comment, relaxing his tired shoulders and leaning into Iwaizumi's big, calloused hands. They slip lower, tracing lines down his neck, circling his shoulders, falling down his arms. Iwaizumi's leaning forward, face pressed into Oikawa's hair. His fingers tighten on Oikawa's arms a moment.
Oikawa turns his head, catching Iwaizumi's face by surprise and pressing a soft, tired kiss upon his lips. Iwaizumi presses back instantly, and Oikawa finds himself twisting around so he can reach him better. It's slow and drawn out and nothing like their usual kisses. Usually they're pressed for time, usually they know they could be caught by anyone.
But here, in this shower, in this empty gym, they have all the time in the world.
"Hajime." Oikawa breathes into his lips, like a prayer. And it really is a prayer, a prayer full of thanks. Because how could he be so lucky? To have someone like Iwaizumi Hajime look past all his shitty flaws and take care of him like this? How long could he stay so lucky?
Iwaizumi doesn't respond to his name, only tightens his grip around him, "Do you want to sleepover?" He asks quietly, and his voice is so low but it still has the familiar roughness at the edges.
Oikawa smiles against him, "Sure." He murmurs, and Iwaizumi goes in for more kisses but Oikawa pulls away, "But you have to condition my hair first."
Iwaizumi blinks, "I forgot you did that."
"It's critical." Oikawa assures, straightening up. Iwaizumi snorts but doesn't protest as he grabs the other bottle. He pours it into his hand and massages it through the brown locks. He's getting better at this, Oikawa thinks as he closes his eyes.
After a moment Iwaizumi lets the water run through the brown soft hair, combing through it with his fingers until the product is all gone. He continues to run his hands through it though, his hands coming up to cup his best friend's jaw. He tilts his head back, forcing Oikawa to look up at him. Brown eyes blink up at him quizzically.
"Hey." Iwaizumi murmurs, softly, leaning closer and shielding him from the spray of the water, "Promise me something?"
"Yeah?" Oikawa asks with a quirk of his brow.
"Take care of yourself."
Oikawa bites his lip, "Of course." He mutters.
Iwaizumi nudges him a little, "I mean it, Oikawa."
Oikawa doesn't say anything.
"What if I'm not there one day?" Iwaizumi insists, fingers holding a bit too tightly.
"Why wouldn't you be there?" Oikawa counters, childishly. Iwaizumi frowns and lets go of him. Oikawa turns around to look at him, "I'm fine, Iwa-chan. Nothing's going to happen."
Something happens a week later.
Oikawa's knee stops working, to be exact.
It happens in the middle of a practice match. During Oikawa's jump serve. Iwaizumi realizes something isn't right when Oikawa takes off. He doesn't even watch as the setter connects his hand to the ball, sending it successfully to the other side. He doesn't see anything except the quirk of Oikawa's eyebrows as they shoot up his forehead in surprise. Because something has gone wrong.
It's made more obvious when Oikawa lands; he stumbles a second, and it's like he's doing everything he can not to fall to the ground. The team doesn't notice, too busy preparing themselves for the rival teams receive. Iwaizumi has abandoned his post at the front line, racing to the back where Oikawa stands, bent over, frozen.
"Oikawa." He whispers, hovering over him.
Oikawa looks at him, and it's the most honest face Iwaizumi has ever seen from his best friend. Painted thick with pain, eyes watery, eyebrows quivering. His hand grips onto his knee, the other one is balled up into a fist, fingernails digging into the skin of his palm. He looks terrified.
Iwaizumi wastes no time, shouting to the coach to call a time out.
The game stops.
They're suddenly surrounded by a circle of concerned teammates, each trying to get a look at whats happened to their star setter. Iwaizumi ignores them, helping Oikawa over to the bench. One of their managers has run off to find the school nurse.
The game resumes. Iwaizumi returns to the field, albeit reluctantly. From the corner of his eyes he can see the nurse and one of the managers helping Oikawa away. Oikawa's forcing on a smile, most likely telling them it looks worse than it is. Matsukawa pulls on the edge of Iwaizumi's shirt and he focuses back on the game, jumping up to block.
He doesn't know Oikawa is being taken to the hospital for X-rays.
He doesn't find out until after practice ends an hour and a half later.
Oikawa doesn't return his phone calls or his texts.
Iwaizumi can't help but fear the worse.
He spends the evening in his room, sitting by the window that faces the house across the street. He watches like a hawk, waiting for the Oikawa family car to return home. As soon as it does, he waits ten minutes before charging over to his neighbor's abode.
He feels a bit rude for dashing into the corridor as soon as Oikawa-san opens the door but the worry in him is all consuming. He doesn't even give Oikawa a warning knock as he bursts into his room.
Oikawa starts, shooting his head up and looking at Iwaizumi with wide surprised eyes. He's got his pants part way down, and grips the fabric in his hands tightly. Iwaizumi closes the door behind him.
"Well, Iwa-chan, I'm a bit busy at the momen-" Oikawa begins, sounding too lighthearted for just returning from the hospital.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Iwaizumi snaps, coming forward, "I called you eight times." Oikawa looks away, trying to think up a lie before deciding not to even try. He shrugs, instead. Iwaizumi smacks him upside the head, softer than usual. "You had me worried sick!"
Oikawa shrinks back a little, closing one eye and clapping his hands together, "Sorry!"
Iwaizumi glares. "So what's the verdict?"
Oikawa's playful smile falls then, "Well, I have to talk to coach tomorrow to figure out that part." He brushes off. But Oikawa's previous shenanigans had caused his pants to drop down and Iwaizumi has an easy view of the horribly red, swollen knee. His eyes widen, and he drops down to look at it closer, eyebrows knitted in worried.
"It looks worse than it is!" Oikawa quickly panics, trying to move back, but only hitting the edge of his bed. He stumbles a bit, catching himself in a sitting position.
Iwaizumi's hands hover over the injury, but he's too scared to touch it, lest he make it worse. He grits his teeth, coming up, "You know how scared I was?" He hisses, sitting beside his best friend.
"Don't worry about me." Oikawa brushes off, scratching the back of his neck, "I'm fine, honest."
"You are not fine." Iwaizumi growls, adding, "And of course I'm going to worry about you! I love you! And want you to take care of yourself!"
Oikawa looks at him, hands gripping his sheets, "What did you just say?"
"The truth." Iwaizumi huffs, "You don't take care of yourself at all."
"No! Not that, before that!" Oikawa insists.
Iwaizumi squints at him.
Oikawa licks his dry lips, "You've never told me you loved me before." He murmurs.
Iwaizumi blinks, and he can feel heat creeping up his face and down his neck. "Of course, I love you." He tries to brush off.
Oikawa is suddenly all around him, hugging him tightly to his chest, "I love you too, Iwa-chan!"
"Stop!" Iwaizumi tries to push back, but Oikawa's grip is vice-like around him.
"Nope!" Oikawa denies, "Never letting you go now!"
Iwaizumi snorts. Nevertheless he keeps trying to pull away, until his movement causes his leg to brush up against Oikawa's swollen knee. Oikawa does his best not to react, but Iwaizumi can feel the sharp intake of breath, and the way that Oikawa's fingers dig ever so slightly into him.
Iwaizumi stops struggling then, burying himself into the crook of Oikawa's neck and wrapping his own arms around him.
He's not letting go anytime soon either.
This chapter was fun to write so I hope y'all enjoy!
See you all in 2016
reviews make me smile