November 4th, 2014
Chloe was in surprisingly good spirits as she walked up the flight of stairs to the run down, top floor apartment she and Max shared. It was a temporary arrangement, just a place in the next town over until an appropriate replacement opened up back in Arcadia Bay. Chloe was now making actual money doing construction, and fittingly enough, the latest project was rebuilding her Mom's house.
Granted, Jeff Stevens, who'd been promoted to foreman in the meantime, kept threatening - non-seriously, for the most part - to pull her off the project. To be fair, Chloe was being rather insufferable at times about trying to recreate the place as perfectly as possible. Especially when it came time to work on the dimensions for her bedroom. And then when she found out that some of the old layout was going to need to be changed around due to new building regs...
But by and large, life was good. She was looking pretty healthy, as construction work gave her a lean, muscular look that totally suited her. She had purpose, a paycheck, and well...her asexual romantic partner. That was okay though; for Max, she could wait until doomsday. Sex was nice and all - and she did kinda miss it, of course, but she'd never trade all of the warm hugs, meaningful glances, lap-cuddles and nuzzling that life with Max offered up, in lieu of any number of meaningless, one-night hookups.
No one else could give her That Smile. And the way it lit up her life.
Chloe had faith; Max was getting better. Making progress. Granted, she was on disability, unable to hold down a job or return to school, but she wasn't just wandering in the house in a daze either, or spending all her time getting baked and watching television, as had been the first few months of her life post-Storm. She'd re-taken her photographic studies up in earnest, managing to earn her GED and working on her degree online at some rather fancy place in San Francisco.
She paused, taking a moment to reminisce about when Max got her acceptance letter.
"Chloe! Oh my God!" her voice squeaked. "This is a really prestigious place. Ansel Adams started the Photography department. Annie Lebowitz graduated from there!"
It was the most animated and lifelike she'd seen her since...since...
...the night of the storm. She's finally starting to make it, again. I mean, I know, some days are better than others. She's still kind of a wreck, if she goes out in town too long. Can't stand to be out of the apartment unless she's by my side. But whatever it takes...for however long it takes.
It was stupid - maybe? But Chloe was convinced that they shared a bond now. Something unbreakable. Enduring. Longlife and beyond. People would probably tell her that at age twenty, she was too damn young to say 'forever', but what the hell did they know? The things they'd done, what she'd experienced. What Max showed her. The tragedy and the heartache they shared. Their years and years of history together, even before That Particular Week In October.
"They don't know about us." Chloe sang softly. "And they've never heard of love."
And now, with the news Chloe just received tonight - crazy, unbelievable...maybe not fantastic, but still kind of awesome, definitely life changing-ish - everything felt like it was falling into place at last.
Not to mention that it looked like after the election tonight, weed was finally getting legalized in Oregon.
YES! YES YES YES!
She pushed the door open hard, calling out, her arms held up in triumph, "Hey baby! Guess what! You'll never believe what happened! Guess what those idiots did..."
Chloe stopped, the moment she saw Max. Her good cheer hitting a brick wall, happy spirit turning cold with trepidation as she looked at her girlfriend. How she was curled up in a tight ball on the couch. Her makeup still smeared from crying.
But that wasn't what weighed like ice in her guts.
Two bags were packed. Max had very little left in the world, past her clothing, tablet, camera and laptop. Some of Blackwell fared well, but in a curious twist, the Girls Dorm took the most damage. Regardless, Max was still able to save some personal items.
But she'd lost a lot.
Chloe swallowed hard, closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then walked over towards the couch.
This isn't what you think it is Chloe.
And what, exactly, did she think was happening?
This isn't Max walking out! It...it can't be! You're just being paranoid. Just get in there and talk to her, okay? It's going to be all right. You're going to take care of it. Just like you've done every day for the past year.
Max smiled up at her, through the tears and grief written plain on her face. But it was a sad, pained thing.
"Chloe." She whispered out hoarsely.
Lowering herself carefully onto the couch, the blunette reached out tentatively, afraid that Max would pull away or shut down if she touched her. Was relieved, almost ecstatic really, when the other girl instead leaned in. She was still trembling, gave another choked sob, but hugged her in return.
"I...I saw Warren today."
Oh. Damn.
Not that Chloe knew a fucking thing about this. She'd been so busy, wrapped up in her little life of rebuilding Arcadia Bay with a vengeance, continuing to mend familial fences with David and Mom, and trying to be as good and supportive a partner to Max that, short of a few other things, she'd more or less fallen out of touch with whatever else was going on these days.
Maybe I didn't want to pay attention. Maybe I'm not over things, accepting of what happened, as I thought. And like, I'm just burying my head in the sand, and meanwhile, poor Max is still looking up, looking around. Like...all I want to see is the future of Arcadia Bay, and all she can see is what happened in the past.
"Oh...yeah? Huh. I didn't realize he made it out of his coma. Or that they let out of the hospital." Chloe shook her head lightly, and felt a knot of guilt tighten up in her sternum. It wasn't that she disliked the guy. He was kinda a geek and nerd, but so was she. So was Max. Everyone knew he'd been crushing on her...
...and okay, he took it a little hard when she chose me over him. But, you know, - grrr! My Max!
On the other hand, maaaan. He beat the shit out of Nathan when the need came up. Better track record than me, Graham! And...and you did your part, accidentally or not, to save the world. The power of your drunk, maudlin selfie-taking so saved me So...so I gotta give you props, dude.
We shoulda been friends. Probably would have been, eventually.
"Chloe..." Max said. It was more of a raspy wheeze than anything else. She shook her head, tears falling fresh. "He was..." She stopped. Breathed in hard and long through her nose, before trying again. "It wasn't just a little damage. It wasn't a lot, either. Warren's...s'like he's trapped in his own head. He's lost enough, just enough to understand that somethings wrong with him. That his mind isn't like it was, before. He's going away for treatment. His Mom says...says maybe..."
Wrapping her arms around Max in full, and rubbing her back, Chloe whispered, "It's okay. You can do this. You can get through this. Tell me."
"If he lost so much that he couldn't remember anything anymore, he'd be happy, I think. You know? Simple, but happy. But he's not. It's like...like dying would have been kinder for him, Chloe! He's angry and frustrated, with what's happened to him. And oh God, I think he knows! The way he was just staring at me. I think he knows it was me! It was my fault! Chloe! Just one more person I killed in this town!"
Chloe did her best to be a rock, to ignore her own sick, lava-hot panic roiling inside. To calm her girlfriend down through the attack she'd worked herself up into.
Max's stattico cries punctuated the stillness of the night, reverberating off the wood floor and high ceiling. It took a good five minutes for her to come through the worst of it, back to a point where she was at least vaguely cogent and could talk again. Before she did though, she reached into her bag, pulling out a hash oil pen, and took a series of deep, hard drags.
"F-fuck. Wanted to do this straight, Chloe. Do it with a clear...mind." she bemoaned, but relief slowly began to spread through her face as the cannabis oil quickly went to work. "Thought you deserved that much. Thought you deserved...better than me!"
Chloe simply sat there while Max stroked her short bangs. She'd recently dyed them again, and they were now restored to a vibrant morpho blue.
"Max," Chloe began. "Baby...please?" She tried to keep a pleading tone from her voice. "It's a setback. A bad one, I know. But...but please don't..."
The brunette quickly shook her head. "No. No it's more'n that. I can't. Can't do this anymore, Chloe. Can't stay in this town. Can't keep waking up to the nightmares, still won't go away. To the constant reminders, of what happened last year."
She started to claw nervously at her chest. "I gotta leave. Maybe it's the coward's way out, but I have to leave..." She took another drag, and continued, breathing out the vapor as she spoke. "Just...just just for a little bit, okay? Just for a while. Let me get my head straight. I gotta recover, someplace else. Please, please understand?"
Chloe nodded once. "You need to leave. I completely understand. The fact that you came back at all, last year, is just..."
She made a snap decision, right then and there. Nodded once, and with a soft, but confident tone, said "Yup. Cool. Let me go and pack a bag. I'll go with you. Lease is month to month, so we can break it anytime. I'll call Jeff and..."
She was stopped by Max placing fingertips on her mouth. Her girlfriend shaking her head sadly.
"Knew...knew you'd say something like that. You'd never question it. Just run off with me, run away." She smiled through her tears. "Because you're amazing." She leaned in, and kissed her. A kiss Chloe was more than willing to return, grateful for the physical intimacy. The notion that this could still be salvaged.
Just as long as we stay together!
"But I can't, Chloe."
The bottom began to fall out, just like that.
Max continued. "A few days ago, I almost could, you know? Could just about convince myself to go through with it, have you come with me, and we'd be happy, even if just for a while. Guess that was my original plan: tell you I have to go, while hoping you come with."
She glanced over at the phone. " But then your Mom called..."
"Oh." Chloe said, feeling like the air had been punched out of her stomach. "Y-you heard."
Max nodded, smiling in pain. "S-so proud of you. So fucking proud! And that's the difference between us, Chloe. That's how it's changed. You saved Arcadia Bay. You..."
"Oh God! Please...no...don't...don't make me out to be..." Chloe started to protest, a bit more sharply than she intended.
Max wasn't deterred. "You did! You gave people hope! Still do! Kept them from giving up, those first few days. And then inspired everyone not to leave the town back in April. Look at this place now, Chloe. It's like how, you know, the Japanese? Rebuilt almost everything in just a year, after that tsunami. It's almost that good around Arcadia Bay now. Just a year, and so much amazing stuff, so much progress." She gave a sharp, hard laugh, "I...I destroyed the town. You saved it. And...and if I take you away now...after tonight, after all those people have cried out for you to stay."
Max tore herself away, rising to her feet, shuddering. "I'll kill the town again! Maybe for good! And I..." she stared down at her hands. "Look at me, Chloe. Look at me! So small! I'm frightened all the time...and pathetic!"
"Max!" Chloe yelled out, shooting up to her feet, rubbing the back of her head, trying to viciously stamp out the rising fear in her voice. "Don't. Never, not once, ever say that about yourself!" She walked over and all but smashed Max against her chest, holding tight. "You have done so much! You've saved this town too! In your own way! Made it better...be-because...you ever think that storm was always gonna happen? Huh? Maybe like...it was just destiny. No matter what? I didn't think that way, not at first, but the more I look around, the better I see things getting...that..."
Max shook her head, her eyes wide with terror. "Don't..." she begged. "Don't say it..."
"That storm was the best thing that ever happened to this fucking town!" Chloe cried out.
Instantly regretting it.
But not entirely.
Because it's true. Because it's fucking true, damnit.
"Doesn't...doesn't mean it's not a tragedy. All the good people who died. All the lives that got shattered. But this town was dying anyway, Max! You saw it."
She punctuated the next three words by smacking her palm, behind Max's back. "It. Was. Dying. And now for the first time in forever, people have hope. People are talking about Arcadia Bay in the present tense, and the future, and not about lost glories of the past! But it's not all on me! It can't be! It can't." Chloe started to lose her composure, her voice rising in tone.
"I did my part!" she continued. "I saved the day! If this town can't survive without Chloe Price walking away for a few years so that the woman she..."
She looked down at Max, letting the tears fall freely at last.
"Max...I love you." she sobbed, voice juddering as she breathed in soft gasps. "Please...please don't leave me here."
Max leaned up, cupping one cheek, and kissing her lips. It was slow, soft, sweet. It lacked some of the passion and physical intensity that their first true kiss possessed, but Chloe instinctively understood that it was no less emotional nor heartfelt.
"I love you, too." She said, warm breath caressing Chloe's cheek. "And that's why I have to leave. I'm leaving for me, Che. I'm leaving for us. I have to find the person I was before. I have to make her better. For you. Because you have grown...become so much more. Thrived. Risen up and are so...so shining now! It's almost blinding! I need to be the same way, Chloe. For you. I need to be worthy of your love."
Fight, you stupid bitch! Fight! Beg! Plead! Demand! Threaten! Do not, do not, DO NOT let her walk out that door without you!
"I could go with you. You couldn't stop me. I could follow you to the ends of the Earth." Chloe said, in a tight, thin voice.
Max closed her eyes, shook her head sleepily. "Not if I ask you to stay here for me, Chloe."
Chloe cried out, as if shocked. Bowed her head, and coughed. "Not...not fair."
Leaning up and whispering, Max kissed her ear. "I need you here, Chloe. You're the only good thing I have left to give to this town, now. The only penance I can perform. My Chloe. The heart and soul of Arcadia Bay."
"Not fair!" Chloe repeated, shaking her head, holding back from the edge of hysterics.
"I'm coming back for you, Chloe Price." Max said, conviction rising up quickly in her voice. Believe me. Believe me, please. This is for us. I'm going to San Francisco to study. You...you better email me." She sniffled, her voice cracking anew. "And call and write...promise. I'm not gonna let it happen again. Not gonna let the years pass between us like...like last time!"
Wrapping her arms tightly around herself, a hand covering her face, Chloe felt herself shut down. Drawn taut between two points impossibly created by her love for Max: a desire to run away with her, and a desperate need to be what and where Max required.
Move me onto any black square. Use me anytime you want.
Her smartphone buzzed, and Max walked over to pick up her bags. "It's my cab. Gotta go now, Che. I...gotta go before I totally lose it." She looked up at her, with pleading eyes. "Please understand."
Chloe reached deep inside. Took all of that rage, fire, righteous indignation that had been her modus operandi over the past few years, and crushed it into a tight, hard, ball. Stuck that ball into a deep, dark cave, and covered up the opening. Felt herself slip on the mask. The one that she knew Max needed to see.
Looking up, Chloe rubbed her eyes, and gave a soft, sad, but ultimately understanding smile.
"I'm...really gonna miss you, Max. But I want you to be better. I want...you to be happy." She pulled her into one more hug, tight, but not fierce. One that was accepting. One that was ready to let her go, however reluctantly.
Even if it was all a lie.
"Good luck, baby." Chloe whispered, kissing her hair and face. "Show'em you're my angel. You go out and fly"
Max looked infinitely relieved. Maybe she didn't buy whatever act Chloe was putting on for her. But maybe she did. Clearly, she needed to.
Chloe died a little over a year ago. The woman just about to walk out the door, and possibly out of her life, gave her each and every precious second she enjoyed since that day. For Max's sake, as much as it killed her, as much as it ate away at her heart and soul, Chloe would walk through perdition's flames, do what she needed, be what was required.
Max enfolded her in one last tight hug, nestling her head against the blunette's chest. Chloe hugged back, and tried to memorize her, by touch, and scent and even taste when they shared a final kiss.
And then she stood there, while Max left, closing the door behind her.
She sank to her knees, absorbing each and every footfall that echoed up the stairs as they grew softer, more distant. Couldn't bring herself to look for Max out the window, nor wave goodbye.
She stared at the doorknob for a good ten minutes, breathing shakily. Tears flowed down her face, but she was unable summon the emotional wherewithal to react. At least, not at first.
It grew, and grew, and grew, on and on, that frustration, and anger, and hurt, until Chloe felt as if she'd lost all control, acting completely on primal instinct.
"Damnit! DAMNIT!" her voice screamed, filled with anguish and heartache.
She reached out, grabbing whatever she could and started throwing it with all her strength at the walls.
Upended tables. Smashed a couple chairs.
"I hate...!"
my life
"I hate...!"
this fucking town!
"I hate...!"
Max Caulfield.
"I hate...!"
...myself.
Her rage ultimately spent after ten minutes of adrenaline-fueled fury that felt like a lifetime, she stared up at the ceiling, sprawled out on her back, across the floor.
"Why, God?" she whimpered, sniffling.
A few minutes later, her smartphone rang. Without intending to, she pulled it out of her pocket and answered.
"H-hello?" she said, in a tight voice.
"Whoa-ho, hey Chloe!"
It was Jeff Stevens.
"I catch ya at a bad time?"
"N-no" she lied. "Um...s'up?"
"What's up? Hell, I wanted to congratulate you! I mean damn, you gotta know what's happened by now, right? You heard the news?" he said.
"Yeah." she spoke, tight, tired and slow. "I definitely heard."
"Wow. Must have been a shock, huh?"
She felt the urge to laugh herself into blind hysterics burble up. Let it pass before answering.
"It...was a shock. Definitely a shock."
"Yeah. But not a surprise, right? I mean, c'mon, you must have known. Must have seen what was coming."
"In retrospect? I suppose I should have..."
"Ha ha! Boy, you sound really...oh shit. Did I catch you and your girlfriend um...like. 'Celebrating'?"
Chloe took a long, labored breath.
"No. You totally did not. No worries there."
"Ah? Hah, cool enough. Hey listen, I know we're probably gonna lose you soon, to bigger and better things, but could you help me out? Wilson's gonna be out tomorrow, ear infection of all things. Can you pick up his shift? I know that'd make it a double, but with the boom in construction these days, that's some serious overtime pay you could make."
Chloe closed her eyes. In one breath, she died.
Hell, she'd had enough experience with it, so it was an easy enough trick to pull off by now, right?
In the next, she lived again. Her eyes flew open, and her voice sounded far more animated.
"Ear ache? Damn. Well shit, sure. Yeah, I'll pick it up. His loss, my gain. I mean, after all..."
She rose up, towards a sitting position. Gave the door one last lingering look.
"It's not like I've got anything else going on in my life these days."
A/N: Hey hey folks! How are you...whoa. Wait...wait a second. Put down those torches and pitchfolks! *raises up hands nervously*
Seriously, this is still a Pricefield fic, and nothing's changing that. But the course of true love sometimes goes on a rocky sideroad. *le sigh*
Don't worry though. I promise to spare you the worst of it. Another chapter or two, and things will be back. Not to normal. Better than normal, I'd hope, for our Gayngels sake :) So yeah! There's that. Don't lynch me, because how else can I get Max and Chloe back together? ;-)
That said, thank you for all the faves and follows and reviews. I've really been enjoying writing this particular story, and I'm happy folks seem to be taking a shine to it, by and large. So I'll try to get the next chapter out in a couple days. In the meantime, have a good week!