Summary: Tony being Tony calls in a meeting with the Avengers and the extended family to tell the amazing idea he had: create Steve a playlist of their favorite songs to help with his adaptation.

or

… the one time when Steve saw Natasha actually cry.

Characters: Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, Jarvis.

Tags of the chapter: Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, Steve needs a hug, team as family, Natasha Romanov feels, Jarvis' organizational skills, the Author regrets nothing, domestic Avengers, Bruce abandoned Natasha, Bruce abandoned everyone, Bruce abandoned his team, nightmares, PTSD, tags spoil everything.

A/N: Playlist available on Spotify with the songs of the chapters posted. Check it out and tune each song with your reading! Link available on my profile.

Something to Hold Onto

Chapter Two, Oceans, 2015

Steve had woken up from a nightmare, his chest heaving and sweat damping his skin. He slowly shook his head to clear the confusion and sat on the edge of the bed. He had been having nightmares ever since he woke up from the ice. PTSD was a bitch and he made a mental note to talk to Sam in the morning, since it was only three-thirty in the morning.

He slowly rolled his shoulders back and got up, the desire to sleep had long died due to the memories he had been forced to relieve when he slept that night. He walked around the tower and quickly filled a bottle with water when he passed the kitchen. He continued his walk and grimaced when he saw Tony on his lab, a cup of steaming coffee on his hands; the genius did not even seem to realize there was someone staring at him, his gaze was fixed on a hologram. Tony kept talking in a rush to Jarvis, needing the AI to sort his thoughts as he exposed them.

Steve shook his head and continued walking towards the gym, wanting to punch something to scare away his own thoughts. He had been musing if Tony had finished working on the new punching bags for him when he stopped short, looking up at the closed gym door.

"I wish I was worth… but I know what you deserve. You know I'd rather drown than to go on without you but you're pulling me down."

He frowned because he could not figure out which resident of the tower could possibly be listening to that song, especially inside the gym, at three-forty in the morning. He stopped for a second, considering if he should just turn and leave the person inside alone when Jarvis' voice spoke to him.

"The door is unlocked, sir." Jarvis voice was quiet and calm and it gave Steve the courage he needed to go inside the room.

He felt as if someone had punched him, because the air left his lungs when he saw Natasha dancing, of all things. It was beautiful and he slowly closed the door behind him.

She had her eyes open, but she seemed to be so focused that she did not notice that he was there with her. She just kept dancing, doing pliés and pointés and other moves that Steve did not know the name of. He was mesmerized with how fluid her movements were.

"It feels like there's oceans, between me and you once again. We hide our emotions under the surface and try to pretend. But it feels like there's oceans between you and me."

The song playing brought Steve back to reality and he realized the song was on repeat. It was such a sad tune and the vocals were so raw – it made Steve feel vulnerable and consider how vulnerable was Nat feeling in that moment to be dancing ballet and being so out of it.

He looked down and noticed a crumbled piece of paper near his feet. He picked it up and could not help but read the only two words that marked the white paper with blue ink. I'm sorry.

Steve abruptly looked up when the song stopped and came face to face with Natasha. Her shoulders were trembling slightly and he realized that Natasha was softly crying. Intuition hit him as he realized that the letter had been from Banner – whom had run away a couple months back right after they stopped Ultron. He had yet to contact another team member.

"Nat, come here." His words barely left his mouth as Natasha pushed herself against him, soaking in his heat and needing the comfort.

She must have signaled for Jarvis to continue the song because the next thing Steve heard was the rawness of the vocal that expressed Natasha's feeling in the moment.

"And nothing comes close… to the way that I need you. I wish I can feel your skin and I want you, from somewhere within."

"I've got you, Nat." He placed his hand around her smaller body, tightly and gently rocking her as he felt her body shake with repressed sobs. "You can let go."

And she did just that. And Steve could not repress the distrust he felt for Bruce in that moment.

A/N: Song: Oceans, by Seafret - 2015.

I literally woke up with this song in my mind, and it reminded me when I was in a bad place and had listened to it. The vocal and the instruments are so powerful, it makes me feel vulnerable and I wanted to show a different side of Nat because she is comfortable Steve to do that.