"How'd I end up in this mess again?"
A loud growl stemming from the pit of Wendy's stomach quickly reminded her.
"Oh, yeah…that's how…"
Lured in by the almost-irresistible temptation of pepperoni and anchovy pizza, the lumberjack princess had been tasked in keeping a careful eye on Mabel, the bubbly and lovable metal-mouthed Pines twin during an all-expenses paid spa trip in downtown Gravity Falls.
At first, the fifteen-year-old thought nothing of the venture. Wendy figured that she would be forced to sit though boring facials and sipping horrid rejuvenating elixirs – all things that she deemed to be far too girly for her tastes to the point that it was almost insulting.
As of the current moment, however, Wendy's "treatment" had been anything but…
Between nearly drowning in a mud bath filled with sinking quicksand and almost having her toes bitten off while trapped in twisted seaweed, the experience ironically added to the amount of stress she carried, yet alone melted it away.
Even now, Wendy found herself being dragged down the hallway as Mabel happily clutched her hand, promising the anxious redhead the world:
"Yep! We're almost here! And if this doesn't do the trick for you, Wendy, then nothing will!"
"How is it that she can't see what's going on here?" Wendy thought. The two guides, Hans and Klaus, turned around and looked down at their little admirer with a sweetened smile as they continued to lead the way.
"On second thought…"
They changed perspective and raised their sights. Both men met Wendy's emerald eyes, offering a chilling leer before returning to their original stances. A chill traveled from the back of her head to the bottoms of her heels.
Wendy knew that despite Mabel's best efforts, it would be an understatement to say that the opposite sex was definitely able to sway her current train of thoughts. She compared the two Pines twins; while Dipper occasionally would let his semi-hidden devotion for her slip, he wasn't afraid to speak up when he felt like something was wrong.
As Wendy glanced at the mirrored hallway paneling on her left, she recalled Dipper's warning from the other day:
"I know you think I'm being over-protective, but trust me when I say that Mabel can definitely be more than a handful. She has a knack for getting herself into deep trouble, especially when she has her mind dead set on something…"
The more time passed, the more Wendy started to understand her friend's meaning. There had been other instances like this in the past – when Mabel insisted on using the Blind Eye Society's Memory-Eraser gun or the time she tried to remake her Grunkle Stan to aid in winning the heart of the local hostess, Lazy Susan. However, such things never included having fatal consequences.
Wendy studied the reflection looking back at her and noticed the dramatic change in her appearance. Her long, straighten copper hair was now tangled and puffy. Her freckled cheeks were red and blushed. Her forehead was dripping with sweat. She couldn't rid her nostrils of the chlorine-like odor from the fish tank. If anything, it seemed like the girl had returned from the warzone, yet alone a day spa.
Worse of all, nerve-ridden lines had begun to appear under Wendy's green eyes. She traced the indents with her fingertips over and over again in disbelief.
It was then when Wendy came to a horrific realization: "They're just like the ones under Dipper's!"
She gazed down at the carefree tween in front of her, who sang and hummed merrily on the way towards their next appointment, before returning to the mirror.
"What if – what if Dipper didn't get these because of all that paranormal business? What if it was because of always having to watch over Mabel?"
Wendy ran her index finger through the wrinkles again. If this was happened with only a few hours, she would hate to see the full damage caused by twelve years worth of misfortune and calamity.
"Aannnddd…we're here!"
With her pal's mind elsewhere, Mabel yanked Wendy into the open doorway, nearly pulling her out of her white fuzzy slippers. Wendy glance ahead to find that she was now standing in a simple mocha-colored room. Surrounded by stripped wooden paneling on each of the four walls, the closest to her featured a small crevice filled with lit scented candles.
In the center of the room, a sturdy, long designer table stretched towards the farthest wall. A firm, white padding lied on top of the oak frame. Roller wheels were placed on the end of each peg. Fresh towels were neatly draped over an elevated headrest. A mini-waiting area on the right side consisted of three posture-reinforcing chairs seated next to a bamboo plant in the rear corner.
"What…is all this?"
"Your surprise!" Mabel insisted. "You seemed super-tense, so the guys and I figured that a nice, long massage would do wonders for you! It's just the thing to get rid of those "Dipper-jeebes!""
To Mabel's surprise, Wendy started to back away from the lounge, "You're nuts!" She swiped her arms in conjunction, "There's no way I'm hopping on that thing to get rubbed down by those two!"
As their annoyed hosts gave the ranting redhead a nasty look from well out of eye-shot, Mabel tried her best to reason with her escort. "No offense, Wen-Wen, but what do you expect?" She tossed her robed arms in the air. "It's not like they can press a button and magic robot hands will shoot out from nowhere and do it for them!"
"At this point," Wendy grumbled under her breath as she crossed her arms across her chest, "It wouldn't surprise me if it did…"
Mabel took a palm and threw it against her forehead in frustration. Trying to assist their guest, Hans and Klaus stepped forward. "It is alright, Fraulein Pines." Klaus insisted. "This session is not for everyone…"
"Ja, it is true." Hans added. "It is for the best not to push the Fraulein Corduroy, especially if she is frightened – "
"Hey!" Wendy turned around and pointed in the guide's face, "I said it before, and I'll say it again: I am not afraid of you or anything at this place!" She shrunk back down as a sheepish look spread across her face. "I just…" Wendy rubbed her arm as she finished, "Having a stranger actually touch me sounds…weird…"
"Pshh!" Mabel swiped away the bashful confession. "It's nothing to be worried about!" Without a hint of hesitation, the pint-sized pixie untied the belt on Wendy's robe. She carefully pulled the shoulders of the garment, as Wendy let the dressing gown (and hidden weapon) slip into the ground. Leading her friend to the massage table by hand, Mabel leapt feet-first onto the smooth surface. She took a seat and flashed a braced smile, padding the space next to her. "C'mon…" Mabel sang in an alluring key.
*SIGH*
Wendy rolled her eyes and walked over to the bed, sitting down next to Mabel.
"Okay, now what…?"
Mabel jumped off the table and spun around towards Wendy. She grasped the teenager's ankles in her tiny hands and tugged the rest of her lengthy body onto the counter. Running towards the foot of the table, Mabel snatched the slippers off of Wendy's feet, making them curl in ticklish response.
"We won't be needing these for a while!" She let the shoes drop from her hands into the hard floor.
Taking the towels from the headset, Mabel placed a white sheet over the cold surface of the table. Very gently, she lowered Wendy into a laying position in spite of some resistance.
"Mabel, I don' t –"
"Shhhh…everything's going to be fine. You'll see…"
Now, on her stomach, Wendy looked ahead as Mabel set the remaining towel over her bikinied body, protecting everything except her head and bare feet from the elements.
"There! Nice and comfy!"
However, Wendy's focus remained solely on the two attendants. Hans and Klaus constantly switched their views between the two girls before looking back at one another.
"It's like…they're studying us," the ginger noted as Mabel continued to tuck her blanket in. "They're watching our every move – our every reaction…" Wendy wasn't blind to the events of the afternoon; of how these "incidents" would only happen when Mabel was lured away by the duo, leaving her alone to deal with catastrophe after catastrophe.
"The weirdest thing…" Wendy thought to herself, "… is that they're only after me. They worship the ground Mabel walks on. But why me though? What'd I do to tick them off so badly?"
"She's all yours!" Mabel was now standing in front of both employees, presenting with both hands, her co-worker on a silver platter.
The men strolled towards Wendy, each cracking their knuckles as loudly as they could.
"But it doesn't make sense! It can't be something against me. I mean, these jerks didn't even know I was coming with Mabel until I walked in the door. But I just know something's not right here…"
Mabel stood in front of the massage table, giving Wendy a double thumbs-up as each masseur took a side at the table.
"As long as Mabes believes that they're good guys, it's not gonna be easy to convince her otherwise…" Wendy knew from her experience with her brothers that it would be a fool's errand to juggle dealing with a stubborn child amiss a dangerous situation. She would have to wait for those two to slip up, and then prove her point. It would be no different from mystery-solving with Dipper or going on an all-day hunt with her dad – patience was the key – maintaining her natural cool until the suspects struck, only to find her ready to counter.
Wendy felt two rough, yet oily hands gripping down on her shoulder blades.
…no matter how unsettling it was…
Mabel stepped forward, noticing how Wendy's expression suddenly changed, "It's okay, it's okay. I know it feels strange at first, but I promise…"
Klaus stood at the opposite end and tenderly picked up her right leg. Wendy bit her lip as the man dug his thumbs deep into the sole of her foot. The shock made her release an accidental snort.
"Ahh! Wait, don't! I'm too ticklish! I – oh…"
A calming sensation traveled up Wendy's body as the attendant went on exploring the rest of her pressure points on her ped. When he switched feet, the reaction journeyed even further. Her back no longer felt tense. The nerves in her neck loosened and seemingly faded away.
Wendy let out another pleased groan as Hans softly pounded on her backside with karate-like chops.
Pleased in seeing the sudden change in her buddy, Mabel skipped forward, "It's starting to get to ya, isn't it?"
"You…could…say…that…" Wendy moved her arm out of Hans's grip and pointed back at Klaus, "Especially what he's doing down there…"
Klaus paid no heed to the commotion, focusing his attention on flexing and kneading each of Wendy's toes. "It's what we do…"
Mabel folded her hands behind her, and rocked back and forth on her heels, "So, you're feeling better?"
"Oh, definitely," Wendy admitted. She folded her arms at the front of the table and set her head down on top of them. "In fact, I'd say it's making me…*YAWN!*…really sleepy…"
The auburn-haired young adult shut her eyes and started to drift away from consciousness. As Hans worked on her lower back, Klaus set Wendy's left foot down and approached a ready-and-waiting Mabel.
He bent down, "It looks as if your friend is well taken-care of. Let's say we get you ready for your turn?"
The over-excited girl took the guide's hand, "I thought you'd never ask!"
As Mabel was led out of the room, Wendy opened her eye slightly to see the door close behind her. Everything was going to plan. All three of them thought that she was fast asleep. She swiftly shut her eyelid again to resume the farce.
Just as the monster eventually walked into Dipper's trap; the same way her hunting prey moved into the line of fire, Wendy enjoyed the spoils of the situation as she counted the moments until the time was right.
As Hans moved to her lower neck, the headset on his ear began to ring. He wiped his hands off on his uniform and made his way towards the door, taking a second to confirm that his patient was asleep.
Wendy had to rely on her hearing to tell her what was happening. She noticed the short beep that played out before she heard the click of the door handle closing. His heeled dress shoes clicked on the floor all along the way. Once the coast was clear, Wendy raised her head to find that she was now alone in the massage room.
"Hmm? Wonder where he's off to in a hurry?"
The henchman known as Hans enabled his wireless speaker from behind the closed massage parlor door. "Talk to me, boss," he answered with his native accent.
"What do you two think you're doing?" Lil' Gideon squealed on the other side of the line.
"It's not our fault!" Hans pleaded. "We keep trying to get to rid of the gingered kid, but she's tougher than she looks. Don't worry though. I'll see to it that she gets hers!"
"That's exactly what I mean, moron! Who told you to kill her in the first place?"
Hans froze for a moment to make sense of the question. "Um…you did, Mr. Gleeful. You asked us to "take care of her…"
"Not like that!" Gideon shouted even louder. "What good is a corpse for ransom? That Wendy is to be taken alive! I want Dipper to feel every torment I'll put her though – the same way he tormented me for far too long! Then, and only then, I'll allow him to surrender to me! Is that understood?"
Hans opened to the door to the room as he answer, "Yes, sir. I'll handle it right away…"
A split second before the door opened, Wendy lowered her head down, resuming her state of false-sleep. In the sphere of self-endued darkness, she was forced to hide her giddiness as her suspicions were partially confirmed. While Wendy wasn't able to make out the conversation being held outside, she did manage to catch the manager's last, non-accented sentence.
"I knew that German shtick was a total load," she thought. "They're faker than Dipper's chest hair. But it's still not enough. Mabel could care less about phony accents…"
A few moments later, Wendy heard the door open and close a second time. The clacking sound confirmed that it was none other than the administrator's partner in crime. Without saying a word, they walked across the massage table several times. Left unaware of their true intentions, all the hairs on Wendy's neck rose as she struggled to maintain her composure.
"What are they doing? And what happened to Mabel?"
*RIP!*
Suddenly, Wendy felt something tightly wrap around her left ankle. It was almost like a snake had coiled around her leg.
*RIP!*
The same feeling moved to her right foot. Wendy knew this was anything but good. She had to act now!
"Hmm…?" Wendy slowly acted being awaken. "What…what's going on?"
Alerted to her presence, Hans and Klaus hurried to her side, "There, there…" Hans attempted to calm her. "Nothing is the matter. Please continue to relax and enjoy yourself…"
Wendy went on playing dumb, "But my feet feel weird. What are you guys doing?"
She glanced over her shoulder and attempted to lift her leg towards her. Wendy could only go a few inches before having the limb halted in mid-air. She squinted to see that a Velcro strap had been locked around her left ankle. The confused teen tested the bond several times, noticing that the connecting strap had been attached to the bottom of the massage table. Wendy tried to move her right foot, seeing that a soft fetter had been locked around it as well.
"What is this?!" Wendy stared at both of the hosts. "What do you think you're doing?!"
Hans and Klaus stopped in their tracks, each giving off a nervous appearance. It reminded Wendy of when she would catch her siblings with their hands in the cookie jar.
"Well…"
"Umm…"
Hans clasped his hands together as he regained his confidence, "This may appear to be an unusual tactic, but I assure you it is standard procedure."
"Ja, Ja," Klaus chipped in. "We wouldn't want a slumbering guest falling off of, would we? Our insurance premiums would be through the roof!"
"Whatever, guys!" Wendy wasn't having any of their ridiculous excuses. She used her palms to push herself up to a kneeling position. "I think it's safe to say that tying me down is the last straw. I'm outta here!"
Seeing that their pitiful explanation was falling on deaf ears, the crewmen raised their heads and shared a nod of understanding. They had worked too hard to let their plans be ruined by the strong-willed redhead.
Hans and Klaus immediately pounced on Wendy, forcing her flat back on the towel-covered mat.
"OW! HEY!"
She thrashed about in an attempt to break free from the grip of the men on each side.
"LET GO! GET OFF ME! RIGHT NOW!"
Hans lowered his head towards Wendy's ear. "Shut yer yap, you snot-nosed, little punk!" he revealed his natural dialect. "You've been nothing but a royal pain all afternoon!"
Klaus joined in, glad to be free of the forced act, "Now, we're going to make sure you get exactly what you deserve!"
"I knew it!" Wendy exclaimed. "I knew you weirdos were up to no good!"
"Watch your tongue, before we watch it for ya!"
"Heck, pallie," Klaus reminded. "A nice pair of tongs would do the trick. And I think we'd have extra time to show our dear lass here before handing her over to the boss…"
"The boss?!" Wendy had to warn Mabel before it was too late.
"MABEL!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. "MABEL! THEY'RE – HHMMPH!"
Hans speedily covered Wendy's mouth with his free hand, "Now, we can't have that, can we?"
"Let her shout," Klaus said. "The walls are entirely sound-proof! The little one can't hear her anyways…"
"It doesn't matter though. The boss wanted her unharmed, and we delivered…"
"But you, on the other hand…"
Hans motioned towards his partner with his shoulder-blade, "Get the wrist restraints!"
Wendy watched as Klaus reached under the table with his free hand and pulled another Velcro cuff up to the tabletop. She flipped her head to see that Hans was holding its twin.
"If they get my hands," Wendy planned, "I'm a goner. If I'm going to do something, I need to do it now!"
Shifting her weight, Wendy pulled her head back, forcing Hans's left hand off her mouth. She lounged forward and bit his index finger as hard as she could.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" The villain shrieked as he grabbed his injury, giving Wendy a bit more movement. In a fit of rage, he pulled his arm back, twisted his wrist, and swung it forward for a back-handed slap.
"You little bit-"
Wendy ducked at the last second, to which Hans's blow connected with his cohort's face instead.
*SMACK!*
Klaus clutched his face with both hands, allowing Wendy to make it back to her knees. She took a hold of the still-stunned Hans and slammed his head against the front corner of the massage table.
With her kidnappers downed, Wendy leapt back into a standing position. Taking an instant to enjoy her handiwork, she went to skip down from the table, only to find that her legs wouldn't obey.
"Wha – "
Wendy looked down to see that her feet were still shackled to the counter.
"Well, well, well…" Hans taunted as he got back up. "Did we forget a little something?"
Klaus blocked her left side, "You're not going anywhere, Red!"
Hans looked at his fellow criminal and motioned downwards, "Wheels!"
Klaus followed suit and fumbled under the front end of the table. Wendy could hear a soft *CLICK!* beneath her. The burly abductors threw their full weight against their end of the bench, sending it and the fastened Wendy towards the wall at high-speed.
*CRASH!*
The shaken young adult lost her balance and stumbled to her knees. Wendy hopped with her back alongside the wooden wall. Hans and Klaus leaned over from the headrest in hopes of taking hold of the troublesome adolescent.
"C'mere, kid!"
"We promise we won't hurt you…much!"
Wendy noticed that both men were well above the edge of the table. With a desperate idea forming in her head, she jumped up and purposely landed hard on the balls of her feet. The front end launched into the air, striking the captors on the chin, and sending them flying.
"Wow! I can't believe that worked!"
She bent down and unlocked her ankles from the straps holding them. Wendy raced up the table and flew over the heads of her recovering opponents.
"She's getting away!"
"Stop her!"
Forgoing her robe, shoes, and hatchet, Wendy threw the door open and bolted down the hallway. She searched for any hint of Mabel's current location.
"MABEL? WHERE ARE YOU, BUDDY?!" Wendy cupped her hands as she hollered as loudly as she could. "MABEL?! CAN YOU HEAR ME?"
As she ran, the worried lumberjack scanned every aspect of the hallway from her unusually high stance…
…which is how Wendy missed the little suede boot that stuck out as she rounded the corner.
"OOF!" She moaned as she landed roughly on her knees and elbows. As she rose up, Wendy turned around to see what she tripped over…
*KLANK!*
Wendy dropped instantly; her eyes rolling back into her head. As the world started to fade away to black, she could make out a wide blue and white blur setting what appeared to be a fire extinguisher down on the ground. The nearby pounding coming closer and closer confirmed that her pursuers had finally caught up with her.
"See, you idiots! That's how you get things done! Don't you dare think I'm paying you for her!"
"Oh, c'mon, boss! Be fair…"