Chapter 5

*Medical stuff may be inaccurate* As always, I hope you enjoy and reviews are most welcome.

It's the next day and the middle of an unusually busy shift. Zoe, who has already been at work for five hours, attempts to take a moment for herself as she leans back into her office chair and kicks off her heels. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath allowing her head to fall against the back of the chair and over the edge; one hand rests on her forehead and the other is gently placed on her stomach. Just as she is beginning to feel the weight lift, her office door is swung open and Robyn enters quite flustered.

"Zoe, I mean…Dr Hanna? You're needed in Resus – Connie's attempting a cardiac massage and needs you to assist."

Zoe lifts her head forward and sighs, "What about Cal or even Ethan? Or Lilly?"

"They all have patients. Sorry, it's just she specifically asked for you."

"Okay. Yeah, I'm coming." She starts putting her shoes back on before grabbing the last few bites of the breakfast she never had the chance to finish and following Robyn.

As Zoe enters Resus, she sees that Connie is already scrubbed up and starting the procedure. Around them are multiple casualties and a whirlwind of doctors and nurses coming in and out with different apparatus while Zoe stands there and feels exhausted.

"Right what's happening?" she asks Connie.

"Embedded fragment near the heart. She went into cardiac arrest and didn't respond to CPR. Theatre won't take her unless we can get a decent output so I'm giving it one last attempt. I'll try and take the fragment out myself while I'm in here."

"Connie. Is it really worth it?"

"She's thirteen years old Zoe – "

"Yeah I understand that Connie," interrupts Zoe, "but is it really worth cracking her ribs open on the slightest chance? Even if she does survive this, she's been asystolic for what? Ten minutes? Her life will be severely affected by this – she may not even make it to surgery."

"Zoe. I have to try."

"Okay." Zoe gives in and stands by to assist Connie.

It's a little while later and Zoe is back at her desk eating a small sandwich from the hospital's cafeteria while staring at her computer screen when Max enters.

"Tough day?" he asks with a smile and makes his way over to her desk.

"The worst." She replies, "I almost gave up on a thirteen year old girl. I wouldn't have gone as far as Connie. I'd have let her go. What kind of doctor does that make me?"

"One who is able to make the toughest decisions based on what you think is right," he tries to comfort her as she looks into his eyes and nods.

"Look," Max continues showing Zoe a picture on his phone, "I thought this would be cute for the nursery."

"Max, I can't deal with this yet. There are so many things that we need to do and think about. Together."

Max suddenly sits more upright slightly offended at the fact Zoe doesn't want to talk about their unborn child, "I just thought it was cute."

"I know you did and it is," Zoe starts, "but I'm not ready for all of this yet."

"I get it." He bluntly replies as he heads towards her door."

"Oh Max, please don't do this."

"Do what? I'm not allowed to talk to you about the fact that we're having a baby, I'm not allowed to tell anyone, I'm not even allowed to tell people we're back together yet!"

"Max – "

"You're not going to be able to hide this for much longer Zoe!" Max turns and almost walks into Sophia who has just arrived to meet Zoe after her shift. He storms past her and slams the door shut; Sophia looks a little shaken and looks towards Zoe who has slumped back in her chair and put her head into her hands.

"I thought you said he took it well?" Sophia asks.

"He did. A little too well maybe? He's just showed me a picture of this baby changing thing for the 'nursery'. I don't think I can look and stuff like that right now." Zoe replies as she puts her stethoscope back in her drawer and grabs her bag.

"Let's just go home and put your feet up. I'll have a word with him."

Zoe smiles and nods as they both walk out of the ED. As they get into Zoe's car, they see max sitting at one of the benches outside smoking a cigarette.

"I'll be right back. Wait here." Announces Sophia as she leaves the car and heads over to him. Zoe rests her head on the steering wheel and does as she's told.

"Hey," starts Sophia as she reaches Max, "you know you're going to have to cut down on those things right?" she continues pointing towards the smoke coming from his mouth.

"It was just a photo. I only wanted to cheer her up – that's all."

"I know, Max but she's scared okay? She's absolutely terrified."

"And don't you think I am as well?" he defends himself.

"Okay, you're both terrified and clearly show it in different ways – Zoe runs from her fears you know that."

"I just don't understand why she isn't happy about this."

"She is," starts Sophia, "this is the best thing to ever happen to her and she doesn't want that bubble to burst. For either of you."

"Pretty strange way of showing it though."

"Max, look, in pregnancy it's likely that something will go wrong within the first three months – that's terrifying for anybody and the main reason why people don't announce it to the world until they're past that point."

"Yeah I understand that but – "

"Okay so multiply that fear by like a million…that's how Zoe feels right now. She knows the stats Max and she knows that it's even more likely for something to wrong in her case. She doesn't need cute things thrown in her face to get over that."

"What does she need then?" asks Max as he looks over to Zoe's car that she has just started as a signal for Sophia to hurry up.

As Sophia stands from the bench and looks towards the car, she turns her head back to face Max and simply replies, "You."

Sophia walks to the car and gets in before Zoe quickly reverses and drives away. Max throws the other half of the cigarette to the floor, sighs and then walks slowly back towards the ED finally understanding and feeling guilty about snapping.