Dinner with her family had never been a favorite pastime of Zelda's, but as she entered the ridiculously elegant dining hall, her eyes fell on Ike and she decided she might have to change her mind. He was sitting beside Link which surprised her, and what worried her was their whispering. "Zel!" Link smiled up at her and Ike looked at her with a grin that made her heart thunder in her chest. "Come sit," he commanded and she rolled her eyes.

"Where's father?" she inquired and Link laughed.

"He refuses to sit with him," he pointed at Ike who beamed at her. "You should've fucked him years ago, he's like the greatest gift ever! Dad hasn't been near me all day."

"You two are friends now?" She asked and when they both chuckled she crossed her arms. "What the hell?"

"He is the sensei," Link bowed to Ike, "I am but the humble apprentice." Zelda had seen her brother do many strange things, but bowing to a man he was willing to punch earlier was by far the strangest. Ike waved off his words and smiled at her.

"Come on, sit down. Did you sleep good?" She sat across from him, a thousand questions she wanted and needed to ask all fighting to be voiced first.

"I did," she managed and he nodded.

"What is it?" he asked, concern reflecting in the deep blue depths of his eyes.

"I have quite a few questions for you," she said in her calm voice she used for press conferences and Link rolled his eyes. "Question one: you aren't married, engaged, or otherwise spoken for are you?"

"Uh," he cleared his throat, "that depends."

"On?" Zelda felt her heart begin to drop.

"On what the hell we are," he motioned between them and Link chuckled.

"You scared her," he stage whispered and she shot him a withering glare.

"What are we?" Ike asked and she let out a heavy breath.

"Undecided currently. Question two: do you have any other children, either born or yet to be born?"

"Nope," he said, eyes losing some of their amusement.

"Good. Question three:-"

"Do you like piña coladas?" Link started in and she slapped her hand on the table.

"Some of us actually have things going on dammit," she said and Link flipped her off.

"Some of us," he said as she glared at him, "have better things to do than sit here and listen to his sister be a cunt to the one guy dumb enough to knock her up. No offense Ike," he said and Ike shrugged. "I'm out."

"No," Ike grabbed his arm and stopped him from getting up, "you're not going anywhere." Link pulled his arm from his grasp, Zelda watching in stunned silence as her brother obeyed.

"What the hell is going on here?" she asked and they turned to her with innocent eyes. "Oh forget it, I just..." she looked to Ike's face, trying to read his expression. "Ugh, whatever I quit." She leaned on the table, letting her head hit the wood.

"Zelda," Ike reached across the expanse of felled tree as old as the castle itself and gently laid his hand on top of her shoulder, "you gotta relax."

"Relax?!" she whipped her head up and he nodded. "What can I relax about? I'm pregnant, you're... you, I don't know what we are, I don't know how to figure it all out, and now my ex junkie brother is obeying your commands. You haven't even been here twenty-four hours and I'm already losing my mind I-"

"Zel," Link cut in calmly, "shut up."

"Look Zelda," Ike cut in before she could tear Link's head off, "we have time to figure everything out, don't worry alright? You and I are going to be okay, as will our child," she looked at him, he radiated calm and she laughed lightly.

"Are you not freaked out?"

"I'm having an internal panic attack," he said with a smile and she laughed.

"I need to learn how to have those," she said and he shrugged.

"It takes years to master."

"That's why he's the sensei," Link chirped up and, despite the fact that nothing at all was better, Zelda felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

XxX

"Holy shit," Ike said and Sheik rolled her red eyes, "this room is way too big."

"It's a guest room," she said and he turned to her.

"It's bigger than my mom's house," he said and she blinked at him.

"Get over it," she said and he chuckled.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're the most compassionate being on the face of the planet?" he asked and she shoved him.

"Bathroom is through there, closet is there," she vaguely pointed to the shut doors and Ike looked at her. "You're a big boy you can figure it out." Ike stepped into the room, feeling Sheik's eyes on him.

"Spill it," he said as he stepped further in and she crossed her arms.

"Are you really capable of helping the prince?"

"Gonna try," he said honestly and she narrowed her eyes.

"The princess will figure it out."

"Not if a certain red eyed weirdo doesn't spill the beans," he fired back and sighed. "He doesn't want her to know, I respect and get that. I wanna help him, he's alright."

"And what about you and the princess?" Ike collapsed on the bed with a groan.

"Fuck if I know. This is a ridiculously extraordinary circumstance. I want to be there for my child, and I think I like Zelda enough..."

"But?" Sheik asked and he looked up.

"But I'm Crimean and just in case you didn't notice, I'm hated around here. Why is that anyway?"

"Two reasons. One, in ancient times Hyrule needed help and Crimea turned its back on us."

"That's crap!" Ike snapped and Sheik raised an eyebrow.

"And also there were rumors of the late queen sleeping with a Crimean."

"Oh," Ike drew out the sound as that sink in. "So the late queen had a... Who?"

"The former president of Crimea," she responded and Ike chuckled.

"You don't know Crimean politics very well, the last president before the current one was a woman who..." he trailed off as Sheik nodded. "Oh, wow. Alrighty then, good for her. So I'm hated because the queen was more interested in lady parts than the king's dick. Nice."

"And the ancient back turning, yes."

"Crimea didn't do that," Ike said firmly and Sheik allowed a smug smile on her lips.

"The scroll is on the tour, we'll take it tomorrow."

"You guys kept a rejection letter? Sheesh... Weird ass country," he laid back on his bed, feeling the fatigue of the day hitting him. "You know, this bed is too comfortable."

"Is that a thing?" Sheik asked with doubt and Ike sat up.

"I'm used to a mattress about two inches thick on the oil rig. This," he slapped the soft bed, "is ridiculous."

"Good night Ike," Sheik's laugh was almost heard in her words as she shut the door, leaving Ike to his overly comfortable bed.

XxX

Zelda laid there on her left side as the doctor ordered, sleep evading her like a convict on the run. She wanted to know what to do, how to handle this crazy new life she had been thrust into. Letting out an annoyed growl, she stood up and pulled on her purple robe over her grey tank top and red shorts. She slipped dainty slippers on, leaving her room and strolling through the halls, a certain room in mind. She knocked as she came to the door, just loud enough to hopefully rouse him. A moment later, Ike opened the door, looking to her with sleepy eyes.

"Zelda?" he asked curiously as he stepped back, her trying not to let the sight of him in dark boxers be too enticing. She stepped into his room and looked around her appreciatively.

"Ike I..." she turned to find him closer than she thought, his arms already snaking their way around her robed body. Before she realized what was happening, she was kissing him, a heavy kiss that made her knees weak to feel him return. She maneuvered them to the bed, hands moving to untie her robe from her body.

"Zelda," he pulled back and she froze, him looking slightly nervous, "this won't... hurt the baby right?"

"No," she shook her head and he grinned, putting his lips back to hers as he worked her robe off in what had to be record time. His fingertips brushing her shoulders made electricity shoot through every inch of her body, and as she laid down on his bed, she felt nervous like she had the first time. He pulled her shorts off, and everything else came off in a blur for her as they found a perfect rhythm together once more, her yet again incapable of making intelligent noises.

XxX

Zelda woke up in Ike's bed, her hair wild from the night before. She sat up slowly, the door leading to the bathroom cracked open and seeping steam seductively. Snatching up her discarded robe, she wrapped it around her tightly before moving into the bathroom. The sight before her was something she could definitely get used to seeing. Ike showering was like a gift from the goddesses. How could one living person possess that much sex appeal?

He paused in lathering soap on his torso, eyes blinking away water as he looked at her through the glass inclosure. "Hi," he poked his head out and she bit her lower lip, "you wanna join me?" He held out a hand dripping with water and Zelda boldly untied her robe, letting it fall to the floor. She hoped it looked sexy, and judging by his expression, she was successful.

"I've never..." she started as she took his offered hand, letting him help her into the shower.

"Never showered with anyone?" he asked and she nodded. He let out a low chuckle and pulled her to him, eyes running over her face as she blinked away the water. She realized her heart couldn't be doing something healthy as it sped up the second he touched her face, a thumb tracing her lower lip. "You're beautiful," he whispered, his words drawing goosebumps across her skin. She stood on the tips of her toes, wanting to kiss him. He leaned his face to hers, a grin on his lips.

"I want you," she almost whined and he grinned as he moved her subtly over to the wall, pushing her against the alarmingly cold wall. She felt him pick her up, her unsure how exactly this was going to work. "Ike..."

"Don't worry," he grinned like a devil, pulling her legs around his waist, "just enjoy it."

XxX

Rosalina paced in her office, nerves on edge as the princess was late. Sheik stepped into the office, red eyes finding Rosalina mid pace. "Where is she?" Sheik asked and Rosalina threw her arms in the air.

"Heaven only knows." Sheik rolled her eyes and turned with a start as Zelda entered the office.

"Good morning!" Sheik and Rosalina shared a look at Zelda's chipper attitude. "What?" Zelda was never chipper this early, especially not since the coffee had been removed from her morning routine.

"Princess, you haven't had coffee have you?" Rosalina asked and Zelda hummed happily.

"I most certainly have not had any coffee," she said finally. The two shared a look that Zelda ignored. "Come now, we mustn't waste the day!" She strolled into her office and Rosalina giggled. Sheik turned to her.

"What's so funny?" she demanded and Rosalina kept laughing.

"She got laid again," she said finally and Sheik tried to fight off a grin at that.

XXX

I'm not going to lie, I'm way too hyper right now to have much to say here that would be beneficial so... THANK YOU FOR READING. And thank you for following! And, to the ever wonderful concisponci, a big thank you for reviewing any and all things Zike I post (if you are not aware dear reader, I have quite a few posted...) anyway, I warned you I'm hyper. Until next time! Much love, the humble pyroleigh