"ZELDA!" The piercing shout of Peach made Zelda cringe. The doors to her office banged open and there she stood, the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, blonde hair as long and wavy as ever. Zelda smiled at the woman clad in a pink business suit, hoping her disdain was hidden. Peach was great really, her and Link just had a wild fling a few years back that ended with him in rehab for the twentieth time. "My god Zelda! I have got to know!" Zelda raised an eyebrow and Peach scoffed as she plopped herself onto the chair across the desk from her.

"Know what?"

"The baby daddy!" Peach bounced in her seat. "Who is he? C'mon! Spill spill spill!"

"He's uh-"

"Princess," Rosalina poked her blonde head in the door apologetically, "Ike and your brother are eh... fighting." Zelda leapt to her feet, practically dashing out the door. She heard the shouting coming from down the hall, Link swearing up a storm. Heart fighting to break out of her chest, Zelda caught up to them.

Ike had a grip on Link, who was flailing and trying to hit him.

"Give it back dammit!" Link roared and Ike pushed him away.

"No, now calm down before-"

"Goddesses damn you!" Link screamed. Zelda hadn't seen her brother act like this since...

"Link! Ike!" she jumped forward and Link paled. "What the hell?"

"Nothing," Link said and Ike smoothed his worn t shirt, the faded lettering foreign to Zelda.

"Tell me," she demanded and Link's eyes hardened. "Dammit Link are you using again?" she asked softly, not wanting everyone to hear, and to her surprise Ike stepped forward.

"It's my bad, don't worry," he said soothingly, "I took his phone trying to make a joke, apparently I went too far." Zelda didn't believe the bullshit she was being fed, not for a second. Ike looked behind her, and Zelda realized Peach had followed her out.

"Well now Zelda," Peach put her hand on her hip, "how do you get any work done with such handsome men hanging around?"

"We usually keep her blindfolded," Ike smiled at Peach and Zelda felt a twinge of jealousy.

"And who're you?"

"Ike Greil," Ike bowed slightly and Peach giggled.

"Aren't you Crimean?"

"Don't tell anyone," Ike whispered conspiratorially and Peach let out another giggle. Zelda felt her fists clench and she wanted to punch Peach. Was he hitting on her? Why would he do that? How could he do that after... Zelda paled slightly. They hadn't actually discussed what they were. She had no claim on him. "May I steal your brother, my princess?" he asked her and she shrugged.

"Go ahead," she tried to turn away but Ike caught her elbow. She cast him a withering look and he let go, Link snorting.

"Bitch," he sneered and Ike turned to him, the duo walking off quickly.

"Wow Zelda," Peach said and Zelda tensed, "that Ike is hot... Is he like Link's trainer or something?"

"Something," Zelda said vaguely. "What brings you to town Peach?"

"Baby shopping hello!" she squealed and Zelda chuckled.

"It hasn't been long enough to know the sex yet."

"Not for the munchkin, for you! You need hot maternity clothes and I'm your lady, let's go!" She grabbed Zelda's hand and off they went.

XxX

"Fucking hell!" Link screamed at Ike as he tied him to his bed, Link lashing out with his free hand. "Get off me!" he roared.

"You're an idiot," Ike said firmly as he finished tying up his left wrist. "I thought we were trying to hide this from Zelda."

"Oh Zel," Link whined and Ike grabbed his right wrist, tying it up with another silk tie, "I love her. She's the best... Mm I want her to be happy." Ike stared at the bound up Link, wondering if he should knock him out. "You'll make her happy right?"

"Yeah, I will," Ike said soothingly.

"Even if she's gonna be queen? You'll be fine with that?"

"She's gonna be queen?" Ike asked, feeling dumb for not having thought of that before.

"Shit yeah, they won't let me be king," Link said, shaking his bound wrists. "She's a helluva leader," Link shuddered.

"You're going to hit withdrawals really bad man," Ike said seriously. "This is going to be tough, and I'm going to have to keep Zelda away from you... You can punch me when this is over okay?"

"Yeah," Link nodded. "I'm also gonna beat the shit outta you for knocking up my sister..." He shuddered and Ike smiled as he stood up. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to call my mom, tell her she's going to be a grandma, then I'll probably check in on Zelda."

"She's not gonna be happy with you right now," Link whined, shaking slightly. "She gonna have a fit over you talking to Peach..."

"Why?" he asked as he glanced to Sheik in the corner.

"You were being nice to her, Zelda will freak after what happened with the big nosed dickwad." Link started whimpering and Ike stood up.

"Sheik just keep an eye on him, let him sweat and suffer."

"You got it boss," she said and Ike leaned towards her.

"Will Zelda really be upset?"

"Yeah," she nodded carefully. "I would wait until she gets back and tell her what you want the two of you to be... Which is what by the way?"

"I... I'm working on that," he said and Sheik rolled her red eyes. "Keep an eye on him yeah?"

XxX

"Hey Mom," he smiled as she answered the phone.

"Ike! Where is my wonderful son?"

"Uh... I'm in Hyrule."

"Hy...Hyrule? What on earth are you doing there?"

"Mom, are you sitting down?"

"Ike Greil, what's going on? What's happened?"

"I'm going to be a daddy," he said and the line went quiet. "Mom?"

"Who? When's the baby due? Boy or girl? Names?!" She spewed questions like a machine gun and Ike laughed.

"Mom, I just found out myself I-"

"Wait a minute," she cut him off. "Since when have you had a girlfriend?"

"I don't mom, she was a..."

"You weren't careful were you?"

"No," he laughed into the phone and she sighed. "Mom, what do I do? This woman is beautiful and amazing, I..."

"You two need a date," Elena declared and Ike paused.

"A date?"

"Yes! How else can you know if you want to be with her? You two bonded over the wrong thing, but that doesn't mean there isn't more there."

"You're a wise old sage mom," he said with a smirk.

"Drop the old and I agree," Ike could hear the smile in her voice and he shook his head. "Other than that... When's the baby due?"

"Uh..." Ike laughed, "mom I've been so overwhelmed with shit I haven't even asked."

"You need to!" she commanded and Ike laughed.

"I'll ask when her highness returns. I love you mom, gotta go bye."

XXX

Thanks for reading! A high five to my followers and a big high five and hug for you concisponci for reviewing every chapter! (You mind reading crazy person!) until next time (which I'm already working on) much love, Leigh