So...saw a little story challenge on Calzona50Ways at tumblr, and I couldn't resist. This is my response to the promo pics for episode 16. This is my best case scenario :)
I'd love to hear what you think.
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"Oh my god, Sofia."
Still in my surgical gown and scrub cap, I rush into the ER, immediately making a beeline for my daughter's bed in the last bay by the wall. My heart is pounding, my brain in overdrive as I look her over, reaching in to hug her small body to mine.
"Mommy!"
Her young voice is muffled against me as I gently let her go, pressing a kiss to the unbandaged side of her forehead.
"It's okay, mija, I'm here now."
I'd only seen the page when I came out of surgery, thirty minutes after it had been sent - and yet...as I glance around, the only person sitting by my daughter's bedside is our babysitter, Emily. I know for a fact that Arizona isn't in surgery this afternoon - I looked at the board mere hours ago and her name wasn't on it. I thought she would have been down here in an instant.
"Emily, has Arizona been here? What happened?"
"Not yet...Sof was asking for her..." the younger woman looks up nervously, worry evident in her eyes, "I'm so sorry, Callie. We were at the park after I picked her up from school, and she was climbing on the jungle gym and the next thing I knew she'd fallen and..."
Quickly pulling my phone out, my other hand soothingly running over Sofia's thigh, I send off a text to my ex-wife before focusing on the little girl again.
"It's not your fault, it was an accident. How do you feel, baby?"
Small brown eyes peer up at me and she crinkles her nose in a gesture that is so Arizona, letting out a heavy sigh.
"My head hurts."
"Oh, Sof..." my heart breaks a little at her tone, "my little monkey. It's going to be okay, I promise."
"The doctor said she's fine..." Emily reaches up to smooth the bedsheet a little, "she didn't need any stitches, just some of those butterfly sutures. And they said she doesn't have a concussion or anything. Nothing's broken."
"What doctor saw her?"
Glancing around the ER, I don't see any of my senior colleagues - and I'm trying really, really hard not to rush her off for some scans myself.
"A Dr. Blake saw her."
My eyes immediately snap up then when I hear the doors to the emergency room being shoved open, and not five minutes after I texted, I see the blonde peds surgeon practically running across the room, eyes frantic until she spots us. I catch a glimpse of red hair behind her near the intake desk, and feel irritation rising within me as I shift off the bed to catch the woman barreling towards us, stopping her with a firm grasp of her shoulders.
"She's okay - she's okay, Arizona."
Fearful blue eyes look into mine for a split second, but she immediately pulls away and goes to our daughter's side.
"Momma! Where were you?"
I watch as Arizona lets out a sigh of relief, her eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment as Sofia leans up to hug her, and she wraps her arms protectively around the small body, pressing a kiss to her hair.
Seeing your child in the emergency room is every parent's worst nightmare - but for Arizona, I know the fear has always run just a little bit deeper. After seeing our little girl almost die once in this hospital, and after seeing hundreds and hundreds of sick and injured children in her peds ward, she'd admitted to me once how deeply she sometimes worried. She'd been a protective mama bear from the moment our daughter was born, and I love their relationship.
Rubbing a hand tentatively along the smaller woman's back, I step away as mother and daughter start talking, and head towards the desk where Penny has just slid her tablet back into one of the chargers.
"Why didn't you page Arizona?"
The younger doctor whirls around, a smile crossing her features when she sees me, but quickly faltering when she catches up with my tone of voice.
"I...I was taking care of Sofia. I paged you, and then I did a full work-up. She's just fine, don't worry, Callie."
"You knew I was in surgery, Penny, you sent the patient down earlier. And Sofia was asking for her momma!"
"I just didn't think...I paged you..."
"I am not her momma, Arizona is!" the words come out with a slight hiss as I lower my voice, crossing my arms defensively over my chest, "that is her daughter, you should have paged both of us!"
Penny gives me a slightly pained look, her brow creasing slightly as she looks at me with a mixture of worry and fear.
"I'm sorry, Callie-"
"Save it."
I mutter with a slight shake of my head, further irritation bubbling up in my chest as I turn from my ex-girlfriend and cross the room again. I notice that Emily has disappeared - Arizona must have told her she could go - and I stop by the foot of the bed, immediately calmed as I watch the interaction taking place in front of me.
Arizona's fingers are softly running through our daughter's hair, and she's smiling beautifully as the five-year-old tells her all about how she climbed to the highest part of the jungle gym before falling. Sofia's practically beaming, her eyes alight in her other mother's presence, and she giggles softly when the blonde leans in to whisper something.
And then I see it - that super-magic smile at work.
And it's mirrored on the small girl in the hospital bed, too - a fact that continually takes my breath away, and makes my heart clench just a little in my chest every time I see it. Sofia may be made from me; but there is not a doubt in the world that she is Arizona's daughter.
"Look! Mommy is back now, so we can all take a little trip down to the room with the big x-ray tunnel, okay? We're going to take a look inside your head."
"I don't wanna go in the tunnel, momma..."
Sofia looks at me, then back at Arizona a little fearfully.
"We're gonna be right there with you, I promise," she leans in again, her blue eyes twinkling a little, "and if you're really, really super quiet in the tunnel, you might see the little fairies dancing."
Tilting my head a little, I watch with amusement as Sofia's eyes widen quickly.
"The fairies?"
"Yep," the blonde strokes her hair again, grinning now, "but only if you're super quiet - and super brave. They only come out for the bravest little girls."
"I'm brave!"
"I know! Come on," she turns and glances at me, the concern evident in her eyes as I nod in agreement - I'd feel better with a CT scan too, "let's go see if you can find the twinkly fairies."
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It's almost two hours later before we manage to get Sofia in for a quick CT scan - Arizona pulling Amelia unceremoniously out of the hallway to watch the monitors with us, wanting the very best neurosurgeon eyes on our daughter's brain. We all let out a sigh of relief when it's obvious the little girl really is just fine, and Arizona hurries in to remove her from the scanner and scoop her up into her arms.
"Come home with us?"
The words are out of my mouth without a second thought. Sofia's at my house this week, but I know Arizona will want to be with her tonight.
And...I swallow hard as the realization slams me in the face...I want to be with Arizona.
Blue eyes meet mine, holding my gaze for a quiet moment as she leans her head against Sofia's. Surprise is evident on her face, but she nods her head, replying softly.
"I'd like that."
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"She's going to be okay," I whisper into the darkened room as Arizona checks on our sleeping daughter for the fifth time, a mere hour after we'd put her to bed, "she's just tired."
I watch as she hovers a moment longer, smoothing her palm ever so lightly over the little girl's back as she breathes quietly in and out. We'd made some mac and cheese for supper when we got back to my house, and then gotten half an hour into Frozen before Sofia had passed out across our laps on the couch, and I had no doubt the small brunette was out for the night.
"I just worry."
Arizona sighs softly, adjusting her blankets before padding quietly back out into the hallway.
"I know you do. But I'm not worrying - the best peds surgeon on the west coast examined her tonight, and gave her a clean bill of health."
I can't help but smile as she rolls her eyes slightly, and almost unconsciously, my hand falls to her lower back as I guide her down the hall to the living room. Somehow, this house feels just a little more like home with the blonde in it. Everything about tonight feels...it feels different. Better. Once my fear for our daughter's safety had been assuaged, spending the night in Arizona's company had been...really, really great.
"Wine?"
She drops onto the couch, letting out a soft sigh as she looks up at me gratefully.
"Please. I should probably get going soon, but...wine would be nice."
Tilting my head a bit, I study her.
"Stay. I have a guest room. I know you're not going to sleep if you're not near her."
I turn and head back to the kitchen before she has a chance to answer, and I pull a bottle of white wine from the fridge, pouring two generous glasses. I feel almost - I pause, bottle in hand, and smile a little to myself when I recognize the sensation stirring in my belly - I feel butterflies. And that's something I haven't really felt in a very long time.
"Arizona...I..." I return to the living room, handing a glass over, "I've been thinking, lately."
"Does your head hurt?"
She grins at me, eyes twinkling mischievously in a way I haven't seen for ages either.
"Ha, ha. You're funny, Robbins. Really."
"I like to think so."
"No...I've been thinking, just..." I settle on the opposite end of the couch, facing her, "a lot has changed in the last two years, hasn't it?"
She takes a sip of her wine, glancing at me curiously.
"Yeah...a lot has changed."
"There was a time I didn't think you and I would ever be friends again. But...we are, right?"
I bite my lip a little as I voice the question, curling one leg up under me. Being in the blonde's presence always feels so...right. Even when we were fighting, even throughout the time we've been divorced, there's just something that always feels different when I'm around her. Calmer. Safe.
Her lips curve up into a barely-there smile, and she looks at me again.
"Yeah, we're friends, Callie. Of course."
"I don't think I want to be friends with you."
Her expression falters, and she looks down into her glass of wine, back straightening a little. Something flashes across her eyes as she goes to turn away from me, and I suddenly realize how my words must have sounded. I've never been good at this.
"I mean it's been hard...but I didn't think it was that bad between us anymore. I should go."
"No!"
I curse myself, reaching out to wrap my hand around her forearm.
"I mean...I didn't mean..." I swallow quickly, eyes flickering up to meet hers, "I meant...I don't want to be just friends, Arizona."
She stills then, just staring at me, and so I continue blindly without thinking.
"I don't think I can. I thought...I thought as long as I could have you in my life, as long as you were in Sofia's life, that would be enough. I thought I could be happy with that, you know? With still seeing you, talking to you. I thought we could each be happy on our own and we could be friendly and that would be enough."
I can't stop the pent up flood of emotions that are coursing through my body now as I look at the other woman, and although a fear clutches at my chest - a fear that I could be ruining what little we do have left - I can't seem to make it stop.
"But it's not. I can't just be friends with you, Arizona. I want to be with you. I am so in love with you."
And there it is. Like an elephant that's come charging into the room.
I tried denying it for a long time - I thought it was better for both of us. I thought I could be happy with Penny, or with someone else. Without Arizona.
But I can't.
"You..."
Her voice trails off, her eyes wide and bright with emotion, and she sets her wine glass on the table with a movement that is far more controlled than I think I could manage right now.
"I know. I know I'm about two years too late. I know you've moved on and you're happy and you probably don't...you.." I take a breathe, glancing up toward the ceiling, "but..."
"I never stopped loving you."
Arizona interrupts me softly, her voice calm and steady as I meet her eyes again in disbelief.
"You didn't?"
My own voice is small now, but a flare of hope dares to bloom in my heart. Arizona just watches me for a moment, and then she smiles just a bit, shaking her head.
"I didn't - I couldn't. I love you, Calliope. We both made mistakes. We made..." she lets out a half laugh, her eyes filled with regret, "we made a lot of mistakes. But we also went through a lot more than most couples ever do in a lifetime."
I can't help laugh a little nervously at that, shaking my head at the painful truth of her words. Our karma sucks.
"Yeah, no kidding. I don't know what we did in past lives, but it must have been really, really shitty."
"I...ended up reading a lot about couples and trauma. How they react to and deal with trauma," she shrugs a little, "by all accounts, we actually beat the odds staying together as long as we did. Through everything that happened."
"You read psych books?"
Her cheeks flush ever so slightly as she glances over at the wine glasses on the table.
"I had a lot of time on my hands. I...it helped, in a way. I needed something to help me make sense of it."
I can sense the nervous energy coming off the other woman in waves, a perceptible tension filling the room as we sit in silence for a few minutes. One of us has to say something.
"So..."
I reach for my glass, awkwardly taking a gulp.
"I said I needed you, Callie, but the truth is - I don't."
My eyes snap up to look at her again, and I can feel my heart plummeting in my chest.
"I don't need you," she continues, tracing her finger along the edge of the couch, "I can survive without you; I can be happy without you. But I want you; I'm happier with you. You're it for me."
Blue eyes look up and find my own again, and the emotion - the love - in them is shockingly apparent. Arizona is looking at me the way she looked at me six years ago, and I realize that there is nothing I have longed for more in the time we've been apart. Nothing that has ever felt so right.
"I'm happier with you too. And I think you're right..." I pause a moment, a small smile tugging at my lips as I process the reality of what's happening, "we're each pretty awesome on our own. But together...?"
She smiles then - a heart-stopping, super-magic, brilliant smile.
She is so beautiful.
"Are we...do you really want to try this again?"
The hope radiating from her eyes immediately makes me shift closer on the couch, and I reach out to take her hand in mine.
"I'm ready to try as many times as it takes, Arizona. We're done being stupid, okay? This is it. You and me."
Her face is absolutely stunning as the words leave my lips - her eyes, her smile, everything about her giving off a pure and unadulterated happiness. She just holds my gaze for a moment and then she reaches up, wiping a tear away as she lets out a delighted laugh, her entire body seeming to release the tension of a lifetime.
"You don't know how long I've hoped to hear those words."
Her hands reach up to cup my jaw, her warm touch sending a shiver of love and desire down my spine, and then her lips are on mine, kissing me delicately, intimately - like no time has been lost between us at all.
"We're not going to screw this up again, do you hear me, Calliope?"
She kisses me again and I sigh softly into her mouth, happily reciprocating as I tug her closer, letting my lips part to grant her access. It feels like coming home. It feels like love. It feels like everything that's been missing from my life for the last two years.
Maybe we needed to be apart to find our way back together. Maybe this is how it was supposed to happen.
I don't care. All I care is that we are - we are back together.
I love her, and she loves me, and none of the rest of it matters.
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