November, 2003

The sudden breeze came in her way, when she was cutting the onions in her house. Onions, and tomatoes, and mushrooms. She was making the special sauce Stefan taught her once, and she never tried making it. She had kept her windows open for a while and the end of Fall coldness suddenly hit her. The diced mushrooms were swirling in the saucepan, in which she was moving her spatula clockwise. She tasted it from the corner of her spatula. And when her taste buds started to activate, she realized it was not even near the essence of Stefan Salvatore's sauce. Her phone rang and she picked it up in one heartbeat.

"I was just going to call you."

"Oh, my my, Caroline Forbes was going to give me a call."

The giggles came instantly on his reaction. "Shut up. I am here in a crisis mode, okay."

"Well then, younger Salvatore is in your service ma'am. What can I do for you?"

Even though she couldn't see his face, she could sense the quivers of his lips, turning into the tinkering smile washing his face.

"Someone is really in a good mood today."

"Because someone is having a good day."

"Well, good for you, because it is so not a good day for me."

"Why? What happened?" He was back to his serious tone in a split second.

"I was trying this sauce you prepared once, and I think I am missing some ingredients. The taste is so weird right now."

"I know what you are missing."

"What?"

"The magic of my touch."

"Shut, up." She laughed again. "What's wrong with you today? Why are you having fun in teasing me?"

Stefan didn't answer but joined in her laughter. "I will give you the recipe?"

"Really? But, isn't it like your grandma's secret recipe or something?"

"It is!"

"Then… why should you give it to me."

"Because, you know you are my best friend." There, the mention of a best friend. Caroline could feel that, he has been calling her that for a while now. As if, trying to give a specific name to their relationship. "And, because I trust you that I know you won't sell it to anyone else."

"Ooooo that's a really good idea. I can earn good money out of it." If he can tease her, why can't she.

"Oh, and what about me?"

"What about you?" she played more.

"What about my share?"

"I will credit your name."

"And that's it?"

"Okay, Fine I will give you thirty percent of the profit."

"Oh, I have enough, you know. Family property and all."

"Then what else do you want?" The lines on her forehead crumbled in confusion.

"I don't think you will be up for what's there in my mind."

Her heart started to race not because Stefan was talking to her, but because there was something in the way he talked. Friendly yet something she couldn't define in words.

"Well, there is nothing in this world which Caroline Forbes cannot do." The smug on her face was crystal clear. She never gives up on anything, and she knows it. Everyone around her knows it.

"That I know. But my challenge is kinda not your type."

"Fine, let me know the challenge on our double date, and then I will be so ready to laugh on your face."

Caroline waited for a response, but there was none. She thought the call got disconnected, but she could see the time still moving on her phone. It was weird for him to go dead silent on her all of a sudden. It's not like she said something offensive.

"Um… hello? I am still here you know…. And not talking to walls in my apartment."

No response….

"Hello? Stefan?"

"Uh, yeah!" his voice came shakily. "I am sorry, I kinda zoned out."

"In the middle of a conversation?"

"Yeah, sorry for that. I was, uh, working on my assignment."

"Everything okay?" something felt wrong.

"Yeah… everything is fine."

"Alright, I have to go, but I will see you on the Friday night."

"Sure… Caroline?"

"Yeah?"

A beat passed, and she still waited for whatever he was going to say. "Take care."

Caroline knew, he always did it when he wanted to say something and will end the conversation with something like this.

"You too."

But she has stopped making herself overthink about everything. At least that's what she thought she has been doing.

"Caroline?" Bonnie called her once she came into her apartment.

"In here…."

"Woah… what the hell is wrong over here?" Bonnie's eyes widened at the status of Caroline's room. It was a mess, like the disaster one. Everything in her room was disorganized, with books, and her purses on the floor. Bonnie found Caroline on the corner of her bed, bend down, looking behind her bed frame.

"Uh, what is going on? Caroline!"

"What?" She turned around to look at her once, and then went back to dunk her head under the bed.

"You are freaking me out. What is with this mess?"

"It's all your fault." Caroline looked at Bonnie, pointing her finger directly where Bonnie was standing.

"What did I do?"

"Oh, remember like few months back, I came for an advice… that I am being confuse for what I feel for Stefan and everyone around me."

"Yeah?"

"And YOU told me, and I quote "oh, if you are getting so confused, try writing it down on a paper. It will clear your head out. Write ALL the feelings you feel."

"And that was a bad because…"

Caroline sighed in exhaustion, and stared at Bonnie, sitting on her knees, and looking at the condition of her room. "Well, I did as you said, I wrote about my girly little crush I had been having for Stefan. I… WROTE… EVERYTHING."

"I still don't get why is it bothering you now?"

"Because, I put it somewhere, and lost it. I don't forget stuff. I am such an organized person, and yet I am not able to remember where I kept that damn paper."

"It must be here somewhere in your room."

"Yeah, well it's not here Bonnie. What do you think I have been doing since this morning?"

"Okay, fine… Calm yourself down now. And anyways, even if it's not here, and hidden somewhere, how does it matter? I mean, it's not like Stefan will come with a search warrant for your apartment."

Caroline glared at Bonnie, as if she said something Caroline had been dreading. "And what about Jesse? What if he found out there was some kind of feelings."

"Wait… you haven't told him about this?"

"No, and come on, it's not like we were dating or something. It was all one-sided thing… and if I would start telling him about all those Tom, Dick and Harry on whom I have a crush in the past, it will take a whole night, or week maybe."

"Yeah… but Stefan is not SOME guy, Caroline. He is your friend… and more precisely, your best friend. And Jesse should at least have a hint about it right?"

"Why should I bring the past, Bonnie? I will tell him when it will feel like the right time."

Bonnie sighed in her defeat. Day by day, Caroline have been becoming stubborn, and the only person who could convince her for anything was Stefan. "Fine, just tell me… where I should look for you love letter."

" a) I love you…. And b) don't call that a love letter."

/\/\

Caroline fell on her back, the spring in her bed, making her whole body swing for a second. "I give up!"

"Don't worry, you will find it." Bonnie joined her, and fell flat on the bed. "It's just a paper, it doesn't have its own legs that it can run away you know."

"Yeah…"

"But seriously, I can't believe you lost a piece of paper, while you gave me a lecture on how to tidy up things last week."

"Hey… no one is perfect okay."

"Or, maybe Caroline Forbes is just losing her touch."

"HEYYY! Now, I am officially offended." Caroline mocked, and got a smack on her right arm. "Owwww… It HURTS Bonnie."

"Then behave yourself!"

"I will.. but first, I am gonna take a quick nap."

"Oh, riiiight… your double date is today."

"hmm…"

"So, it's all cool now? I mean you and Stefan going with their partners to the double dates."

"Why shouldn't it be?"

"No reason."

Bonnie didn't push her, but now Caroline started feeling uncomfortable with the thoughts she had been having for last few days. She sat up, and Bonnie mimicked her waiting for her to talk.

"I have been having a nagging thought in the back of my head." Caroline started, but couldn't get the words out. Bonnie raised her eyebrows, encouraging her to continue.

"Lately, I am feeling like there is something… something different about the way Stefan talks to me."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know." She was losing her thoughts. "I mean, I don't know how to explain it." She wasn't able to specify the different behavior she had been witnessing. "I mean, I feel like something has changed…. Maybe from his side."

"Caroline-" Bonnie shook her head, and Caroline knew what was going to come next.

"No, Bonnie, I swear. I have felt it. There is… definitely… something, which is not same."

"And maybe the only thing that changed is… that you became his closest friend. I mean doesn't he call you his best friend?"

"Yes… but he is more open to me now… I mean he teases me, laughs with me."

"Does he laugh with Lexi as well?"

Caroline thought for a while. "Yes… he laughs with her too."

"See, there is your answer…. Just, don't read too much between the lines, Caroline."

Caroline's face fell down. She should be relaxed, but it looked as if she wanted things to be different, like she wanted to see that Stefan is behaving different with her. "I think you are right."

"Caroline, I didn't want to make you feel down for this. I just don't want you to get hurt again." Bonnie took her hands, and gave it a soft squeeze.

"I know… and thanks you, for clearing my head." She really needed to stop overthinking.

Around seven in the evening, Jesse came to pick her up. She had decided to go with black jeans, and her favorite red top. She put the scarf around her neck, and wore the jacket before coming out of her room.

"Wow, you look gorgeous."

"Thank you. By the way, Stefan and Ivy are meeting us directly in bowling center."

They drove, and reached at the meeting point in about fifteen minutes. It wasn't even a second, when she spotted him. It wasn't that hard for her. He was wearing his usual black jeans, and the leather jacket, underneath which, she could see the white shirt. He loves his James Dean style, and she likes it over him.

Focus!

She snapped herself out of her thoughts. Stefan is a friend, and she is with Jesse. She reminded herself, and decided to concentrate only on the good part of the dinner.

"Hey." Stefan came around the moment he saw her.

"Hey." She smiled back at him.

"I was telling Stefan to choose some other place, because I totally suck at bowling." Ivy pointed at the bowling aisle.

"Oh, it's easy… don't worry, you can learn it pretty fast. I will show you… I am a good teacher." Caroline offered, watching him from the corner of her eyes and Stefan chuckled in return.

"Anyways, we are not going to stay here for the whole night." Jesse informed them. Caroline's eyes roamed towards Stefan, and she thought that he turned his head at the same moment, like a reflex.

"Why? Is there some place in your mind?" Stefan asked Jesse.

She had started seeing things now…

She smacked herself once again.

"We can go for clubbing." They took a corner booth for four.

"I, uh, I don't dance." Caroline knew it would be the reply from Stefan.

"Yeah, I mean, I have no idea what I have to do, to make him dance with me."

"Well, he is your boyfriend, he is bound to dance with you." Caroline said before Stefan could have had said something. She could feel his eyes on her. He was silent in the conversation, but she wanted to know what he was thinking, because last time she talked with him, he wasn't being so gloomy.

"Tell him… not me."

"Hey, why is it turning into 'pick on Stefan day' today?"

"Because you should dance, you know. It's good for health."

"Caroline is a good dancer." Jesse intervened and broke the stared they both were giving there.

"Yeah… yeah she is."

"How do you know that?" Jesse and Ivy asked at the same time.

"I… uh, we both went to same high-school, and she was pretty much a good dance then."

Caroline's eyes forgot to blink, when she heard him. She couldn't believe he remembered something about her from high-school. When she thought he never noticed her.

"Wow, you must be famous back then." Ivy gave her an awkward smile.

"No, I wasn't."

"Liar." Their heads turned around Stefan. "I mean, she was the founder of most of the clubs, right?"

"Wow, my girlfriend is an all-rounder." Jesse put his arms around Caroline, pulling her close towards himself. The touch wasn't genuine but like he was making a territory around her. And she didn't like it.

"Talk about yourself. You know, he was the star of our football team. And almost every girl wanted to be the girlfriend of Stefan Salvatore." Caroline laughed.

"Not every girl." She heard him mumbled. Or that's what she thought she heard. But, she had made her mind that she won't think over and over about what he says.

"Okay, we can talk while playing as well." Ivy said after finishing her beer.

"So, this is going good so far." Caroline looked at Stefan from the corner of her eyes.

"mhmm…" He nodded once, and went back to gulping his can of bear. The nods and the lick on his lips, were totally off, as if he was trying to keep the eye contact as less as possible.

"We should do this more often."

"What? Standing beside each other like this?" This was after a long time he looked straight at her. The looks almost intense as the depth of the oceans, and the smile lingering on his lips like he wanted to say more than what he was implying in the simple words.

"No… I mean the double dates you know." Caroline tried to steal the looks at him again, but he had turned his head away from her now, and was looking straight at her girlfriend, who was having some hard time in bowling. Stefan should have been helping her girlfriend, teaching her some tricks for the game. Instead, he was there, sitting beside her, in the stillness of silence.

She waited for a reply, and response from him. But, he was too busy in his own thoughts. Or maybe he was just letting the conversation slip away. Today for the first time, it was feeling hard for her to read his face. It was like a stone without any edges, too solid, and too opaque.

Jesse and Ivy were arguing over the ways of throwing the ball.

"You should go to your girlfriend you know, teach her some tricks." She mouthed the thoughts that developed a mere second ago.

"I think your boyfriend is teaching her just fine." He smiled at her. As if he was determined to not leave Caroline standing there.

"Well, it is my turn next." Caroline sighed, and went towards Jesse. She can't do complications. And moreover, Jesse is what should matter to her.

"I am really interested in photography." Ivy said when they walked towards the parking lot.

"Really? You should check out my university. It's really known for arts." Jesse and Ivy had really been comfortable talking to each other the whole night. And they both were walking in front of Stefan and Caroline.

Caroline tried to take part in the conversation, but every time she did, they jumped into some other topic, and every topic was out of her interest.

She felt like Jesse was purposely trying to ignore her. Maybe there was something in her behavior that made him insecure. This thought and million thoughts like that started to crumble in her head, and it was making her feel awful now.

"Caroline?"

She turned her head at Stefan. He was concerned for her, and by the look on his face, she assumed that he had been calling her for a while now. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah! Yeah I am fine." she fake smiled. The one no one can see through. Not even Bonnie. She was good with that pretentious smile.

Stefan nodded once, but didn't say anything else.

"So, you and Stefan…" Ivy started.

"Me and Stefan? What about us?"

"Well you both looked like really close."

Caroline smiled at her, still trying to avoid the talking.

"You should stop pretending to yourself, you know." The words caught her attention.

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, Caroline. You obviously have a thing for him. You practically cut the food for him today."

"What? Me? Him? No? I mean… we? No ways? I am.. he is … we are just friends." Caroline kept on blabbering.

Stefan and Jesse were waiting on the ice-cream counter, while Caroline started to hyperventilate.

"This is so not the thing which is going on, okay." Caroline rephrased her sentence finally.

"What is not going on?" Stefan asked when they came back.

Caroline knew for sure now, Ivy will tell Stefan what she thinks, and ask him to stop being friends with her. After all, which girlfriend would like her boyfriend to be friend with someone on whom she has a doubt? And Stefan will listen to his girlfriend and break their friendship. Fear started to creep into her head.

Her attention went to the ice-cream cone Jesse was handing her over.

"You… you brought me a tiramisu?"

"This is your one of the favorite flavor, correct?"

"How do you... Know that?" It was her secret favorite flavor, the one no knew about. And it was almost a shock for her that Jesse picked the particular ice cream for her.

"I think I am a good observer." Jesse smiled at her, but her head did a forty-five degree turn, staring at Stefan.

"Thank you." The words came out for Jesse, but the expression on Stefan's face confirmed her that he knew whom she was thanking.

To Be Continued...