Hey, I'm back with another chapter. And as I am writing this chapter, I can hear an angry mob trying to break down my castle door, and you are almost through. Let's see if I can change the situation. Or maybe not.

Burning.

The first time he felt pleasure on his skin, it burned like searing fire. It etched a mark in his pale skin, trying to overcome his very being, make his mind consist only of love and passion. It was a welcomed burn, that the raven felt, when the man touched him for the first time in his life, for a true loves touch would be warm and comforting, bringing only the highest of heights.

Izaya felt safe in his arms. He felt protected from all the harm of the world, as he laid in the arms of the older man, not suspecting, that the harm was the man himself.

The ravens heart ached to be loved, just as much as he loved. He wanted to be worshiped, just as much as he worshiped his loved ones. He wanted to be loved, to be the only thing, that was on the mans heart.

The burn had reached it's way to his heart eventually, making him blind by the searing heat, that burned a bright flame in his heart. It was the warmest thing in the world he had felt, and his mind was blinded by the smoke, that he couldn't see anything clear.

And even when that burn had began to hurt and turn his heart charcoal black, he still felt that heat, that warm feeling in his chest, even when he was together with the blond. He felt like he was betraying Shizuo, still having the ache in his chest for another man. He felt like he was betraying himself, for being with somebody he was maybe not in love with.

And that's why he had called Shiki. He thought, that maybe having his touch again, will finally give him some closure.

Did he really love Shizuo, or did his heart belong somebody else?

As Shizuo slept, he felt something. A fog on his mind, and a feeling of bile in his stomach. He didn't see, but he felt. He felt a weight moving on top of him, warm heat surrounding him in his nether regions, and he felt a small pressure upon his neck. It felt like soft, warm lips.

He didn't see. But he felt. His fantasy and feel made him enjoy the feeling, his heart distorting the fogged image of a woman, transforming it into the pale and delicate body that he loved so much. The fantasy gifted him with a feeling he had longed for a long time.

He couldn't help he moans and grunts, that escaped his throat, his mind fogged by imaginary pleasure, and he didn't even register the mop of blond hair settling on his chest, a few tears slipping down n it, from where two beautiful eye's were. Nor the softly whispered words in Russian.

''прости меня'' *

Cold.

Freezing even.

Where had the warmth gone?

Where did the warmth, that Izaya had adored, go?

As he sat up on the once again familiar bed, he lightly touched his chest, where he should feel the heat, he had felt a long time ago. But all he could feel was coldness. The man, that had brought a searing heat inside his heart, was laying next to him once again, but even touching his lightly sweaty skin, could not bring up even the faintest warmth.

It was a cold like no other.

Had he really betrayed himself, holding on to a false warmth this entire time? So, maybe the warmth was from a different lover. Was it...Shizuo's warmth?

Upon realizing it, his heart burned ablaze. All the precious memories came flooding back to him, all the faint touches, all the secret glances, the first time he felt pleasure from his hands. The wonderful time he had spent with him, celebrating with his family, which had been a possibility only thanks to him.

And how could he forget the fact, that he had proposed!? He had expressed to him, that he wanted to spend their entire lived together. The proof was was even still laying snugly on his ring finger, reflecting the moonlight, that streamed inside the room, where he had betrayed his lover once again.

He had refused to accept the fact, that Shizuo was madly in love with him, turning him away and calling him weak, even when he was the weak one in the given situation. He had betrayed him once again, laying with another man, a man that had, in fact, pushed away and humiliated him a long time ago. And he had laid in his embrace, in a pact, that should be shared only by destined lovers.

Izaya felt angry at Shiki. He felt angry at the world, at Shizuo. But he was the most angry with himself, as he had betrayed the only heart that mattered.

His own.

He knew, what was the right thing to do now.

It was to return to the man, who owned his heart, that was now beating fast in his chest, burning his blood to a boiling state. He needed to return to his embrace once again, no matter if the world was against the two of them. He finally understood, that it didn't matter, the only thing that really did matter, was that they loved each-other.

So, he slowly raised from his spot on the cold bed, trying very hard not to wake up the man, that laid next to him on the bed. But, as he tried to stand up from the bed, a hand grabbed his own.

Shizuo sat up on his bed. Alone.

He turned his head from left to right, but could not find the blond Russian girl, which he knew he had to share a bed together, the fantasy of last night, completely escaping his mind. He rose up from the bed, finding his silk robe, wrapping himself in it, staggering downstairs.

The house was quiet, even for the morning, when the personnel had to prepare the house for breakfast. He went inside the dining room, meeting his father there, which was a rare sight.

''Good-morning.''

Shizuo just scratched his head, nodded and took a seat at the table, grabbing himself a portion of eggs and ham. A silence had settled over the table, the only sound coming from the knife and fork scraping on the blonds plate, and the occasional turning of the newspaper from his father.

''Miss Douglanikov is away on business, she won't be back until tomorrow night. I see you have taken my advice to get closer to her.''

''Huh?''

''Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? I suspected, that such a stoic girl in person, would be a possessing tiger in bed..''

''W-what?!''

Shizuo jumped from his seat, walking past Kanra in the hall, running to the bathroom, with the biggest mirrors in the house. His eye's widened in shock, as he saw the dark bruises and hickeys on his entire body, marking him as belonging to another.

His mid returned memories from last night, that all had seemed to figure only on a dark haired beauty, but were actually of a light-skinned, blond haired siren, which had tangled him into a fogged web of lies and then, ravaging him.

And it made the bile in his throat rise up. He felt sick.

The only thought in his mind, as he emptied his stomach, was ''WHY?''

The car rolled into the driveway of the apartment complex.

''I hope you understand where I stand, Orihara-san.''

''I do, Shiki. And I hope we will not meet again. In the best way possible.''

''I wish you the best of luck, Izaya.''

''Thank you.'' Izaya said his goodbye, as he left the expensive car of his past lover.

Shiki had brought him safely home, after talking over their feelings. As it turned out, the man was in an argument with his wife, so that was the only reason he had accepted Izaya's offer, to have a closure himself. But, after letting it out, Shiki had understood he had a too deep love for his wife and his five-year-old daughter, to betray them.

He had helped Izaya get back home, and had cheered him on on his idea.

Izaya just had to do the last step on his own. If the cruel fate let him.

Which, you guessed.

It didn't.

It was about 2 weeks before the wedding, when Izaya had pulled himself together, packing up a suitcase full of everything he needed for living, and texted the number he knew by heart.

To: Shizu-chan

From: Izaya O

I need to talk to you. Please let's meet up at the old lake at 11 PM tonight.

Izaya

The raven waited at the lake, sitting on the old, rusty bench, waiting for his beloved, when he heard footsteps. He turned around,seeing the blond dressed in his coat, his face strangely happy, but his eye's looked tired and emotionless.

Izaya ignored his eye's running towards him.

''Why did you want to meet me Iza-''

The blond was interrupted by warm lips on his own, his reflexes kicking in, making him respond to the kiss. They both felt warmth engulf them, as they kissed on the cold night, before Izaya broke off the wonderful kiss. The raven took in deep breath and let his heart speak.

''Run away with me, Shizu-chan.''

''W-What?''

''Let's run away together. You said you didn't care for money or your family. You said you don't care about Vorona or anybody else. So let's leave them all behind and run away. I have a suitcase ready, and all the money we would need to start a new life together, away from your father or anybody, who is against us. I know it would be difficult to find a well-paid job, but It think we could manage. And—''

''I can't.''

Izaya paused his rant, his handsome face paling, his expression turning into a scared and confused mix.

''What?''

''I said I can't. I can't run away with you Izaya. It's too late.''

''W-Why. D-Don't you love me anymore?'' Izaya was on the verge of tears, his hands trembling.

''No! Don't ever think that. I will always love you. I just can't.''

''Why!? Why, Shizuo! Tell me!''

The blond looked down at the ground, his eyes starting to water. Izaya wanted him back. He was willing to leave his family behind, just to be together with him, but this stupid obstacle was in the way.

''Izaya, Vorona...''

''Vorona what!?''

Shizuo looked Izaya in the eye, tears freely flowing from his eye's.

''She...she's pregnant. And it's mine.''

AAAAND, there goes my castle door...shit, it was expensive.

So, I'll let you ponder over how this thing is going to play out with a happy ending, since it's not visible from a miles away.

Oh, and I am going with my choir to Lithuania from Friday to Saturday night, so I will be able to update, I think, only on Sunday.

Bye now, I have to fix the door..

PrincessEvaOfTheZone.