He ran away. He had left behind his teammates. But, not even the worry for them was enough to cause him to turn back. Not with the chance of getting captured again. He had panicked. There was a persistent scream in his head urging him to "get away, get away, now!" He saw himself being grabbed again.
The dark passages of War World had transformed into the warehouse where the Light had abducted him. He felt the same shame and guilt at allowing himself to be kidnapped. It was his own damn fault. Roy had thought he could handle it.
He saw himself becoming a weapon for the Light. What would they take from him this time? His sanity, arm, and life had already been stolen. He could breathe only in short, heaving gasps. He was hyperventilating, nearly blacking out from the sheer panic. There was nothing to do, but blindly run deeper into War World.
The chance of being captured again had been the only thing he had on his mind after getting out of the hospital.
It wasn't paranoia or an obsession. Even if it ate up his thoughts and time as he thought of the various ways he could be taken again and prepared by taking more weapons, more supplies, and training as much as he could. He hadn't slept for many weeks, when he did, it only brought nightmares and his screaming scared Ollie, Dinah, and Red Arrow, who were worried about Roy, and tried to convince him to talk to a psychiatrist. But, Arsenal did not need therapy. He wasn't crazy. He was prepared, ready for anything.
"I'm fine." He had insisted, after the night he had tried to attack Red Arrow, terrified after a vivid dream, and convinced that Red Arrow, who had heard his cries for help, was an agent of the Light or Reach come to take him.
He hadn't attempted to sleep again after that night. The look on Ollie's and Dinah's face, their concern, their look of pity, sickened Roy. It made him feel small, weak, and helpless. He wasn't going to be a victim again.
"No one's putting me on ice again."
They wouldn't. Never again.
That was his new mantra.
notagainnotagain
It was a continuous loop in his head.
Blue Beetle had just knocked Impulse unconscious. He had taken out Guardian, Beast Boy, and even Wondergirl was trapped under the weight of and unconscious Mongul.
Roy had backed away, nearly paralyzed with fear and the urge to get away; to do something was all consuming. But, he couldn't attack. He had broken into a cold sweat. That night eight years ago flashed in his mind.
"No. Not again. I will not be taken again!" He would rather die than be taken again. He willed himself to move. The airlock. Open the airlock. Send the bastard to space.
Roy vaguely thought he heard someone scream, "Arsenal! NO!" But, it seemed so far off and the airlock opened, sucking sphere in to space, pulling everyone, including himself, into the vast void. Blue Beetle was pulled toward it, even with his thrusters. Roy was slipping, Bumblebee and Robin had lost hold of the floor and were tumbling back. The oxygen in the room was nearly gone.
Then, he hit the floor.
Gasping for air, he heard the cries of Robin and Bee as they were hit by Beetle's sonic canon.
"Why?" Superboy rasped to Beetle.
"Don't waste your breath hermano, there's very little left in here."
Arsenal had already taken out his rebreather. His mind still screamed, get out, get away! He shot a line up to a higher level, to escape above Blue Beetle's head.
He didn't notice in his panic, that Superboy had protected him from Blue Beetle's attack and had been taken out.
Roy had escaped at the cost of his teammates.
It was another thing he'd never forgive himself for.