I interviewed for Stark Industries as Sam advised, I got myself a new job, new city, new apartment and a new haircut. I spoke to Hill and she told me to prepare to answer some serious questions by the authorities when the time came but no one from any investigating committees ever knocked on my door. That was surprising. From what I saw on the news and read in the papers there was always someone being pulled in to explain themselves to government inquiries but somehow I had managed to escape that.
It appeared HYDRA didn't follow me to NYC either, I had achieved what I had wanted, to disappear. It didn't stop me from looking over my shoulder and carry a veritable buffet of pepper spray options but it was easy to get lost in the crowd here. I rarely went out, I didn't make any new friends, I went back to being unremarkable. Sam Wilson and Steve Rogers knew where they could find me. Sam checked in every once and while. They poured over the file that Steve's friend had supplied trying to figure out any clue where Barnes might be but they hadn't been able to pin him down. He was a ghost. And he haunted me still.
I found it difficult to sleep through the night without waking from some dream. However they began they always ended the same. His metal hand around my neck, squeezing and squeezing until I was dead. His eyes were cold, accusing and unforgiving. I always woke gasping for air, my fingers pulling at an invisible vice.
The alarm clock's neon green glow let me know it was 3am, I'd awoken panicked from another dream. I sat up and rubbed at my temples, maybe I should go see a doctor, get some sedatives or something. There was no point trying to go back to sleep now, I dragged myself off the bed and padded into the kitchen to make some coffee.
Hugging my mug I settled on the sofa, putting my feet up on the and pulling the comforter around me. I wondered if he felt able to sleep without it being induced.
As more and more time working on the programme passed the rigidity of some tasks were relaxed. When The Asset was in induced sleep I was allowed to set up the lab for the doctors without supervision. Alone.
One occasion he'd been unconscious for 12 hours since his last assignment. His long brown hair fallen in front of his closed eyes. Even in sleep he didn't look content. I leaned over him slowly, checking his vitals in on the monitor, his heart rate was steady, no sudden spikes at my close proximity. I gently brushed the loose strands of hair out of his face. I knew I shouldn't have done it but I couldn't help myself like I had to touch him. His eyes snapped open and I jumped backwards.
"What are you doing?" he asked me.
"Nothing" I lied going back to the desk, hastily moving things around that didn't need to be tidied.
"You're not a good liar" he accused.
"You had a...hair thing. It was in your face, thought it might be itchy" I confessed.
He sat slowly forward on the chair and the corners of his mouth raised slightly. He was almost smiling. I couldn't believe it. I found myself smiling back. He looked around the room.
"There's no one else in the lab" I told him.
"I know" he replied. "That's against protocol".
"Well you're supposed to be sleeping" I explained and sat down on the stool opposite him. That familiarity hit me, I wish I could shake the feeling I knew him.
"It's not sleep" he informed me pulling the ECG discs off his chest and tossed them on the desk. He rose from the chair and stretched his neck, rolled his shoulders and arms. It felt very, very wrong to be staring open mouthed at his bare chest, the way his muscles moved under his skin. So much power there. This was completely wrong. He towered above me just looking right into my eyes. The panic alarm in my pocket felt like a kilogram weight. I pushed the stool backwards some with my feet to put some distance in between us and he stepped forward.
"What was my last assignment?" he asked me of the blue.
"I don't know" I replied truthfully.
"You're not allowed to know?" He questioned.
"Neither are you" I said getting up off the stool. He was so close to me I almost bumped right in to him. My eyes looked straight into the security camera as I returned to the desk.
"You're afraid of the others" he said following me.
"I'm not afraid of them" I laughed uncomfortably through my lie.
"You're different to them" he summarized. "You don't talk to me like I'm a machine".
"I shouldn't talk to you at all" I admitted quietly, absently picking up the ECG discs and running them across my knuckles.
"I remember...I remember a rooftop" he shared suddenly. I looked up alarmed. His brow was knotted in confusion, his eyes lost in turmoil. Pangs of pity stirred inside of me.
"What do you mean?" I whispered.
"My last assignment".
"But they wiped you" I pointed out. I had a very bad feeling about this, the cameras were watching but I didn't know if they had audio. "Look!" I announced suddenly. "I don't want to talk about this or to you about anything anymore".
"Why not?" He asked, he looked a little stung, like a chastised little boy.
"I need you to put these back on and be ready for a diagnostic test before Doctor Fogal arrives" I held out the ECG monitor discs in my hand that was shaking.
Slowly he leaned down towards my face. Too frozen in fear to recoil I remained still.
"You think they're listening" he whispered low in my ear. I could feel his lips and warm breath on my skin. I shivered, both scared and thrilled at the same time. I nodded my head slowly.
He pulled the discs out of my hand and sat back on the lab chair and silence filled the room until Rolins arrived with Doctor Fogal.
My cellphone phone rang shaking me out of my reverie. It was still early, who calls at that time? Nothing showed up on caller ID.
"Hello?" I said, surprised at how scratchy my voice was. Nobody answered.
"Hello who is this?" I asked trying to keep any panic in my voice from escaping.
"Lucy" It was him. It was him. I gripped the phone tighter and swallowed.
"How did you get this number?"
"Do you still have your black case" he ignored my question.
"Yes" I replied quietly, I could kick myself for not dropping it into the Hudson by now.
"Good. The arm...it's frozen".
"Where are you?"
The intercom buzzed, making me jump.
"Outside your building" he replied and hung up.