The hand was there again, curling around my neck, smooth cold fingers pressing against the skin. My throat burned as the hand squeezed and crushed. Please, I choked. Please. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't breathe. And the blue eyes that held my gaze were cold and vengeful. No. Stop. No.

"Stop! No! Please No! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I cried aloud, jolting me awake. The room was lit up by the moonlight streaming in through a gap in the curtains. I gasped when I saw those blue eyes above me but this time they were warm and full of concern and I knew that it had been the dream again.

"Ssh, Lucy, ssh", he soothed. Bucky wiped at my cheeks that were wet with tears.

"I'm sorry", I told him desperately. "I'm sorry".

"Lucy, calm down, it was just a dream", he reassured me softly. Bucky carefully peeled my hands away from my neck, I didn't even realise I was clutching at it. I gave in and instinctively gravitated towards the warmth of his body. Bucky allowed me hide my face against his chest as I sobbed some; I felt him close his arms around me, hesitantly at first but then with confidence as he smoothed his fingertips up and down my back. He held me until my tears had stopped and my breathing was calm.

"I've got your t shirt all wet", I said into his chest apologetically after a little while.

"I've got others", he replied pragmatically. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No", I replied. I couldn't let him know that a nightmare version of him was responsible for my distress. "That was kind of awkward right? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable".

"That's what friends are for".

"I Bet Steve doesn't sob into your chest when he's had a bad dream".

"Mmm, not since the early 1930s". I smiled at that and moved my head away from the hiding place that was Bucky's chest. He released me and we rolled apart. I blushed, embarrassed.

"What was the dream about? And don't say nothing" Bucky asked, lying on his side facing me, mirroring my position.

"I can't tell you", I told him.

"Because it's about me?" Bucky guessed correctly. I didn't answer. "Your dream is about me hurting you?" I nodded reluctantly.

"But it's not you; it's a version of you. It's…"

"The Winter Soldier", Bucky finished for me. I nodded again. "What do I do to you?"

"It doesn't matter", I said dismissing it.

"What do I do to you?" He asked again firmly. I swallowed and sighed deeply.

"You're angry with me for what I've done to you. Looking for revenge I guess, like you did with the other scientists. And I'm scared. You put your hand…this hand", I said gesturing to his metal arm. "You put it around my neck and you squeeze. And it feels like I can't breathe. And I beg you to stop but you don't. You never stop", I confess and shrugged sheepishly. Bucky remained silent but he looked hurt. He bit his lower lip and looked down at the bed as if he was gathering his thoughts. And then suddenly he sat up, got out of the bed and left the room.

Shit. I had messed up again. I rubbed at my itchy tired eyes and threw my head back on my pillow a few times in frustration. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I got out of the bed myself and followed him into the lounge but he wasn't there.

"James?" I whispered. "Bucky?"

My hand was grabbed in the darkness from behind and I was gently but firmly spun around. I gasped in surprise. Bucky raised his silver arm and it glinted in the moonlight.

"This hand?" He asked quietly. I nodded and he carefully placed it around my neck, his thumb resting at the base of my throat. My heart began to quicken pace and I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. He locked his eyes on mine. "I know I've done things that scared you, that hurt you but I will never, never, hurt you again".

"I know", I croaked.

"You trust me", he whispered. I nodded.

"I never pushed the panic button back then and I wont now".

"Lucy", he breathed as his metal thumb stroked sensuously up and down the length of my throat. My knees began to feel like jello, as if I had had a couple of glasses of wine. Bucky bent his head down and to my astonishment and utter thrill he placed his lips on the curve of my neck. They were warm and soft. I could feel his hot breath on my skin. I knew I was unsteady and I leaned into him for support. "I'll never hurt you. I wont let anyone hurt you. I care about you, I...I..." Agitated Bucky released my neck and brushed his hand through his hair.

"I don't have the right to say it!" He said angrily, more to himself than to me.

"You don't have to say anything", I reassured him quickly in a whisper. Although I wanted to know desperately what it was, I'd never push him. I could only keep my quiet hope to myself. "I don't expect you to. You don't owe me a word".

"No. I owe you so much more", Bucky told me seriously, placing his hands on my shoulders and looking at me almost longingly.

"Well, you definitely owe me a cocoa", I shrugged and attempted a half smile which turned into a full one when I saw he returned it. His body relaxed and he dropped his arms.

"Why are you so sweet?" He asked. I scrunched up my nose.

"I guess it just comes naturally".

"Shall I stay?" Bucky asked, I swore he looked hopeful. I nodded in agreement and he reached for my hand shyly. I laced my fingers with his and gave him an encouraging squeeze. He led the way to the bedroom but hesitated at the doorway. "Lucy. What we have, it's important to me. I don't want to mess it up". I knew this was his way of asking that I not try and push for anything more. I gave his hand another gentle squeeze in acquiescence.

Once inside he let go and pulled off his t shirt. I hovered by the door. It was my turn to hesitate. That I wasn't expecting and I blushed and looked at the floor.

He sat on the bed and tugged off his boots. He knew I had noticed that he had a knife strapped to his ankle and looked apologetic. It wondered if he had a gun somewhere on him and I suppressed a shiver. Those were the realities of his life, things I had to accept.

I sat on the other side and whilst his back was turned I yanked off my denim shorts and put on some pajama pants I had stuffed in to the drawer beside the bed. I slipped under the sheets quickly before he even turned around, suddenly self conscious. The bed dipped as he lay back and were still and stiff on the sheets, inches away from one and other but not touching. It was suddenly more awkward than before when I was sleepy and he was relaxed. Gradually, as though we had no free will of our own we edged closer and our backs were touching. The presence of him was overwhelming. I heard Bucky sigh in exasperation and he rolled over and I felt the weight of his arm on mine as he wriggled closer so that he curled around me. I relaxed into the embrace, enjoying the sensation of him wrapped around me. After a little while, I was being lulled into sleep once more and I felt his fingers ghost over my hair as he brushed it upwards on to the pillow.

"You're beautiful Lucy", he whispered. "So beautiful".