Blueprints

I should have kissed him. Robbie, in all his handsome glory, could have let me kiss him. I was so shocked seeing him, dancing with him, and laughing with him that I didn't dare touch him in the way I most desired. And now I sit in my bedroom, reading over blueprints for a time machine. How insane I must look to my future self. As if a time machine will prevent the nightmare machine from being built, or from Robbie dying. I hope that in all of my craziness, this is the one thing that is worth the trouble.

I stuff the blueprints in my jeans pocket and head out of my room. Uncle Milford will be glad I appear normal today: blue jeans, black lace top with a pink camisole underneath. Sure, I can dress in mourning colors without anyone noticing.

"Good Morning, Stephanie." He says with a smirk on his face. "I heard back from the institution. Are you going to comply and take your pills, or do you need to go away for a while?"

"Is that really a question? Uncle, I'm not crazy. I'll take my pills. I'm fine. Yesterday opened my eyes," I lied. "I feel a little better knowing Robbie is at peace."

He seemed shocked, "Oh, good. Then, here is your daily dosage and I assume you will be safe to go out. Have a lovely day, Stephanie. Try to stop by your friends' houses and mend the broken ties. Do it for me. Do it for Robbie."

Robbie would not want me to talk to those traitors. I nod and head out the door.

I've memorized the list of pieces needed to build this thing. I believe I can accomplish what Robbie has asked of me. He should have everything for it. Without stopping anywhere, I head to Robbie's place with nothing but a water bottle, my wallet, and the blueprints.

I climb his ladder and descend into the darkness once more. With the top hatch open, there is enough natural light to guide me. I also use this to keep track of how late it might be. By high noon, the sun is glaring into Robbie's home and I have uncovered half of the necessary pieces to this puzzle. With an empty water bottle, I am feeling a bit dry-mouthed. No matter, I have to keep working.

The final pipe is placed neatly in the center of his living room, where his orange chair would have been. This time machine will have to wait one more day to be built, since it is almost night time. I sigh. My body is shaking from lack of water.

I shut the hatch above and climb back down the ladder. I can almost hear the memory of my cries for Robbie to come with me, not to stay in his home. During my walk home, I wonder if I really am insane. I have visited the future, saved our town, and seen a dead man. Oh, and I am creating a time machine, which probably won't work. Sure, life is swell here in Lazytown.

As I pass the baseball field, I hear a familiar voice.

"Hello, Stephanie," Sportacus stands in the road, tossing an apple in the air repeatedly. "I hear you've come to terms with – well – with what happened. I'm glad to hear you are moving on. It's not good to dwell on anything, you know. Death is a part of life, no matter how it happens."

I reply dryly, "Thanks."

He adds, "Care to join me for supper? I am going to bake some chicken in a dish with rice and broccoli. Maybe have a fruit salad for dessert. What do you say?"

A flashback of that horrible night comes to mind. It started like this, too. Asking me to dinner and trying to be a friend. Innocent, right? Until dessert.

Those strong hands fed me a strawberry. Thought it would be funny. Cute.

A push. A pull. Lips smashing onto mine with no care.

Hands under my shirt. I let it happen. I let it. It was my fault.

No, he had said; let us take it to the bedroom.

Stupid me. Stupid him.

Snapping back to reality, I look at Sportacus in the dimming sunlight and say, "No. I'm all set."

He frowns and says, "Maybe another night, then."

For the second time today, I lie through my teeth. "Sure," I respond with a faux smile, "Another time."

I walk towards Uncle Milford's house.

I really need to get out of Lazytown when this nightmare is over. If it is, indeed, ever over.