Chapter 13

Killian's pov

My heart (figuratively) broke as the door to the Charming's loft slammed closed just before my face. After all I had tried to do to be a better man for Emma, this was what I got in return. I suppose that I was a villain a long time ago, and this was simply fate's sick, twisted way of giving me hope for a happy ending and then ripping it from me. In that moment, it was as if all hope had flooded out of my body in a great river, leaving me empty and numb.

Numb. The perfect way to describe how I felt, or rather my lack of feeling. I felt as if all emotions had been torn from my very being and I was just left with a great chasm in my heart. I was in no way angry or upset at Emma; I could never be. I had just simply given up on myself, I had given up on a future. In my eyes, there was no longer a happy future that I could see. I had been blinded, and I could only see a pace in front of me, no further.

I chose not to chase after Emma in an attempt to console her, knowing that it would make matters worse. But I knew who could potentially calm the storm in her heart. I picked up the talking box which I think Emma called a 'phone' and tried calling her father on it, hoping he had a spare moment to see her.

One ring. Two rings. Three rings. "Hello this is David Nolan speaking," his voice calmly said through the phone.

"It's me, mate. Emma and I… well… she, her walls have gone up David, and… and, I don't think I can bring them down. Please, she is in a state and I can't imagine that she wants to see me right now." I heard him gulp even on the phone.

"Where is she?"

"I don't know, she… she ran out of the loft in tears and I haven't a clue where she went."

"What the hell did you do to her, pirate?"

My voice cracked as I tried to reply, only being able to utter a whisper, "I don't know." I ended the call with shaking hands. In a fit of rage, I threw the phone across the room, for it to shatter on the wall. Anger was the way I used to cope with everything, taking my troubles out on the crew around me, but I wasn't that man anymore. Without Emma or the darkness, I was weak. I needed a crutch to lean on, I needed to be wanted. And I didn't have any of that.

I broke down, sinking to the floor with my head in my hands, my whole body shaking with my racking sobs. I had barely two weeks with Emma before I lost her again, and this time it seemed as though it couldn't be resolved. However much we can literally find each other, it is impossible to change someone's true feelings. And I didn't know if she loved me anymore.

David's pov

After thirty minutes of running around Storybrooke looking for her, I found Emma crumpled on a bench overlooking the ocean, in the harbor. I sat down on the bench next to her, Emma giving me a frustrated groan in return.

"Who sent you? Killian?"

"Yes, because he is worried about you. Come on. Talk." I said, putting my arm around my daughter.

"What if I don't want to?" She said shrugging off my arm. I sighed deeply; it seemed as though I needed to deliver yet another speech about love and hope.

"Emma, Killian called me about thirty minutes ago to tell me to find you. He is really worried. I don't know or care what he did to you, but you need to go back up there and sort out whatever disagreement you two had. You can't waste your life being angry at him forever, when you could go back up there and forgive him. You love that man, Emma, and you can't let silly arguments get in the way of that. Your mother and I have had bumps and turns in our relationship, just like everyone, but that didn't stop us from pursuing each other." She simply glanced at me and returned her gaze to the horizon.

"It's not like that. It's not that easy."

"I understand that your walls have shot right up, Emma. But you can't let them get in the way, not after Hook spent so long knocking all of them down and getting through to you. You need to continue to be open to the people that you love in your life, and be open to forgiving them." I tried pulling her towards me in a hug, but she still wasn't having any of it.

"As I said, it's not like that. Now can you please leave me alone?"

"Okay, I'll go, but I just want you to know that I believe in you Emma, and I believe and you and Hook's love for each other will pull you both through whatever trouble you are facing. I'm not interested in knowing what that trouble is, but I just want you to forgive him, and be happy with each other again."

"You don't get it do you?" Emma's voice was no longer dampened by sadness but now amplified with anger. "He hasn't done a single thing to me, except love me with all his damn heart and sacrifice everything for me and only me. I can't just go and forgive him because there's nothing to damn forgive! I am the damn reason that I ran out and closed the door on him. Me. I have given him nothing in return for everything I've done to him and I don't want to hurt him anymore. There. I said it. I am pushing my damn boyfriend away because I don't want him to get hurt. I am pushing him away, and because of that, I don't think he loves me anymore."