It happens, as these things often do, when Karma's least expecting it.
Which, really, could have been any time because, let's be real, she was never expecting to sleep with Amy. Not that they slept.
Well… Amy did. She slept peacefully, contentedly, like she hadn't slept in years. If anyone had asked, Karma would've guessed the last time Amy slept that well was the night before she said 'let's be lesbians' and it all went to hell. Or, maybe the night she and Reagan made love for the first time. Ironically enough, also the night before everything went to hell.
History, Karma knows, has a way of repeating itself.
It was just supposed to be a visit. Amy had a break, her school running on trimesters and all, and with Farrah and the new stepdaddy - enough of a fuckwit, Amy said, to make her miss Bruce - off on a cruise and Lauren still in the midst of her semester abroad and Shane… well… who the fuck knew what Shane was doing or where he was. They'd lost touch a bit since he'd gotten back together with Duke and started traveling everywhere MMA fights were fought.
That left no one in Austin but Liam and that was more than enough incentive for Amy to get over her aversion to NYC - which was really and aversion to crowds and to Ashlyn and not necessarily in that order - and hop a flight.
Karma promised to make sure Ash made herself scarce and to call in sick to all her shifts at the bar and spend all her time with her bestie.
She said that.
"Every moment you're here," she said to Amy over the phone. "Nothing will stop me from spending all my time with my bestie."
And somewhere, sixteen year old Karma groaned and smacked herself in the head.
Karma met Amy at the airport and when she saw the blonde headed down the concourse, waving like the massive dork she'd always been, Karma felt something turn over inside her, like a switch flipping and there was this urge - a fucking craving - to feel Amy in her arms, to feel the other girl's skin on hers and to do nothing but breathe her in, soak her in, and if they never left baggage claim again, Karma wouldn't care as long as Amy never let go.
And what the fuck was that?
Seriously, though. What. The. Fuck?
She had no time to process it though, not even a moment because Amy was through the gate and swallowing her up in a hug and all Karma could wonder was if Amy had been working out because damn, girl had some guns now, and any and all ability Karma had to think - clearly or otherwise - evaporated the moment her head hit Amy's shoulder and blonde hairs tickled her cheek and her nose.
For the first time in months, there was no itch that needed scratching, no twitch shivering in her heart, no…
Oh. Fuck.
There was nothing. Just Amy. Just her and Amy and just them and all was right with the world and Karma knew - whether she could think or not, she knew - that before this visit was through, she was going to sleep with Amy.
And she really didn't know what the hell to think about that, even if some parts of her might have had an idea or two.
The fact that she kept a smile plastered on her face and her hands to herself (except for the one Amy snatched up and wouldn't let go) and somehow - somehow - managed to stay in the conversation all the way back to her dorm will be a source of amazement for Karma until the day she dies.
She had no idea how Amy didn't notice. Unless, Karma wondered, her palms were always that sweaty and she always had to ask for things to be repeated a couple of times and it was always Amy who had to yell at the cabbie that he was going the wrong fucking way to campus and stop fucking with them just because they're girls.
Because, you know, if that's the case, then yeah, she can totally tell how Amy never noticed.
Karma couldn't help wondering if this was what it had been like for Amy all those weeks in high school when they were faking it and - fuck all - if Karma hadn't already felt guilty about that, she sure as hell did then.
She discreetly (as discreetly as possible) slipped her hand out of Amy's - totally so she could bang on the plexiglass divider and remind the cabbie to stop fucking them around which, if she'd done it like five minutes earlier when Amy was saying it and not when they were thirty seconds from pulling up in front of her dorm, might have made some sense - and smiled at whatever Amy was saying and silently prayed that Ashlyn had not listened to her and was still camped out in their room and maybe even totally getting pounded by some drunken frat boy.
And yes, she even prayed 'pounded' but she was still freaked out because her sweaty palms weren't the wettest part of her just because Amy had touched her and so the thought of being alone with her in a dorm room with a bed (and fuck it, a couch, a door, a fucking floor) was a little frightening.
This was a big deal. The biggest. Beyond the biggest.
This changed everything.
Except then Amy stepped out of the cab and tripped and Karma, on instinct, caught her by the elbow and kept her from sprawling onto the sidewalk and Amy looked up at her with this expression that even an oblivious Karma couldn't miss.
"There you are," Amy said. "Always catching me whenever I fall."
And right then and right there, Karma realized that this didn't change a fucking thing. This was how it had been, how it had always been and how it would always be.
She was in love with Amy.
And so Karma smiled and laughed and promised "Always" and her heart meant it but her mind…
Well, Karma's mind always was her Achilles' heel.
Which, in some ways, made it worse for her that her mind was doing considerably less of her thinking that other portions of her were right then. Maybe, just maybe, if her mind had been a bit more on point she'd have seen it coming.
She'd have noticed the way it took almost no effort to get Amy to come to the city. Or maybe she'd have noticed the way Amy kept looking at her, always watching, side-eyeing her, though that might have been easier to spot if Karma hadn't been doing the exact same thing to her.
Maybe Karma might have noticed that it wasn't just her hands that were so sweaty and it wasn't just her heart that was racing and maybe - maybe - she'd have seen it coming long before Amy said the words that really did change everything.
"I'm engaged."