Quite a few people wanted a continuation so here it is.
TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of cutting and suicide
December 7, 2015
It's been 8 years since I met my best friend
6 years since we started sleeping together
4 years since she told me she loved me
3 years since she broke up with me
2 years since I came back in her life
1 year since I walked out
And 2 days since I gave up my heart.
I'm staring at the ring on my left hand feeling like it weighs much more than it actually does. I just got married, which means I should be happy… right? I know it was wrong, but I couldn't just sit around and feel sorry for myself. Sam is a great guy, but… he's not her. Ever since the engagement, I told him the truth. If she were to ever come back, I would go to her. I know, I'm a horrible human being, but it was the truth. If she just showed up, I would have called off the wedding. But instead Rachel and Kurt show up shaking their heads. She didn't come. And I said yes. I am now Mrs. Brittany Evans. I sit in our apartment in the city in my room. I kept one of the spare rooms as my own giving myself space to dance or to just think. I have pictures and notes strewn out in front of me. There's a picture of her and I from Kurt and Blaine's wedding 2 years ago and a picture from mine and Sam's wedding 2 days ago. I look at the differences in my appearance. Other than the obvious aging, there is a very distinct difference. My face. My smile with her is bright and wide. It is so natural. My eyes are bright and gazing at her face. It is so full of…love. In the other picture, everything is forced. My smile is small and weak. My eyes are dull. It looks like a mug shot. I think about our last times together. We were doing great for a while and then I asked about the future. Why did I open my stupid mouth? I wanted to talk about marriage and possibly having a family one day. But she thought that I was complaining about her. Yes, the apartment was small and she was barely getting by with her paychecks, but we were together and that was more than enough for me. We both said some things we aren't proud of and it was too much. I walked out to give myself time to think. Time apart would help…right? Sam came back into my life and we figured 'why not". We were married before… sort of. I never stopped thinking about her though. Just then, my phone starts ringing. I look down and see the very face that has been haunting my memories. I hesitantly pick up the phone and answer it.
"hello?" I speak simply trying to mask all emotion I have. I expect to hear her, but there's nothing. Was this just a butt dial? "hello? Are you there?" I ask again.
Then I hear it. That raspy voice I miss so much. "Brit-" she starts. But I just can't take it.
"Santana, why are you calling? You weren't at the ceremony so I assumed you hated me," I rub my temple as I say.
"I could never hate you Brit. I-I just couldn't do it. I couldn't watch the love of my life marry someone else. But I knew why you did it. You deserve someone who will give you the world. I'm sorry I couldn't do that for you. I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy. And I'm sorry I didn't see you again. God I wish I could see you in person for a last time. But I guess it's better this way. It'll be too hard if I saw you. You are so beautiful Brit-Brit." Last time…? God, why didn't I just talk to her? We could have sorted all this out.
"What are you saying, Santana? What do you mean a last time?"
"I can't do it anymore Brit. I just needed to hear your voice. You're happy, and that's all that matters." Oh no.
"Santana, no. You can't do this! It's not worth it, there's so much to live for. Please Santana, don't do this." I stand up and run to the other room where Sam is. He's giving me a strange look. I mouth to him Call Rachel.
"I'm sorry Brittany."
"San" I try to plead. Sam is finally picking up his phone and calling Rachel. He sees the fear in my eyes especially when I mention San's name.
"I-I always loved you Brittany. Always." I hear her trying to hold back her emotions, but I was always the one person who could get through to her.
"You were always enough for me. You wanted to give me the world, but why can't you see it! You are my world. Even still. It killed me to walk away and I regret it every day. Please don't do this." I don't care that I'm saying this in front of my husband. He knows it anyway. At this point, tears are threatening to spill. I'm barely holding it together.
"Goodbye Brittany"
"SANTANA!" I scream, but I hear the line go dead. My eyes meet Sam's as he talks to Rachel. I hear words. Santana. Hurt. Check on her. I immediately bolt for the door.
"Brit wait! Where are you going?" Sam yells after me.
"Where I should always have been: by her side. I can't lose her." I yell back.
I sprint through the streets, thankful that we only lived a few blocks away. I dodge through the rain and the people hoping, praying that I'm not too late. I get to her building and sprint up the stairs. I just can't lose her. I reach her door and see that it's open and I hear voices inside.
"Is the ambulance on their way?" I hear Quinn ask.
"Yea we called as soon as we got the message," Blaine says.
I run into the room seeing my friends, but I'm too focused on one.
"San! Santana!" I yell as I get closer. Quinn goes to me and tries to hold me back, but I break loose and run to the bedroom. I see the room torn to shreds, pictures thrown around the room. I notice one picture still intact. It's my senior portrait from my first senior year. That was the day that Santana and I went on our first official date and I was so excited. I look towards the bed and see her laptop open and a written note beside it. But my heart stops when I see the figure laying in the middle of the bed. A tan body lays motionless with deep cuts at the wrists. Some even resemble a broken heart. Her skin looks paler by the minute. Rachel is trying to control the bleeding and check for a pulse while Kurt brings in a shock blanket. In the distance I hear sirens and Blaine runs down to get the EMT. It's too much.
"no. No. NO. Santana, wake up! Please San!" I sob falling over her body. She can't be gone. Just… no.
"Brittany, get back and let the medics do their work." Quinn tries again to pull me away.
"I can't Q, I can't. This is my fault. She has to wake up." I continue.
It's been 8 years since I met my best friend
6 years since we started sleeping together
4 years since she told me she loved me
3 years since she broke up with me
2 years since I came back in her life
1 year since I walked out
2 days since I gave up my heart
And in the matter of seconds, I lost my best friend.
Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed It's Been. Here's part 2. I'll write a part 3 most likely, but I need opinions about what is should be like as I have different ways to go. Let me know what you think. You can PM me or message me via tumblr (Sentimental-idiot). Thank you again and feel free to review as it is very helpful!