There were so many memories, so many things Karma clung to, so many moments that drifted through her mind when she was alone or hurting and every one of them (every one) was about Amy.

That didn't surprise her much. She'd spent most of her life with, around, near, and practically attached to the girl. Most every good moment she'd ever had (and more than a few of the bad too) she'd had with Amy. That wasn't about love or love or those odd (she so wanted them to be odd) desires she was having with increasing regularity. It was just the law of averages at work. Spend enough time with someone (not that she could ever spend enough time with Amy, and, oh fuck, she was even starting to nauseate herself now) and they were bound to go waltzing through your memory now and again.

So many of those moments Karma had never realized, had never seen or felt how special they were, not at the time. Their first kiss. Their second kiss. The look in Amy's eyes as she'd touched her face during the threesome that never was. The look in Amy's eyes every time she looked at her and how, just how Karma had never seen it, had never picked up on it until that toast at the wedding (the first time she ever understood how something could hurt so good), she would never know.

There was one… this one moment that always somehow found a way to bubble to the surface at the most inopportune times. Like when Ashlyn was going on and on about the new guy in her Poly Sci class. Or when Davis was nibbling on her neck and his hands (so big, so much bigger and rougher than Amy's and God how she missed those hands and why was she thinking about that again?) were roaming their way up her thighs.

Or when Amy was introducing her to Maisie and Karma could see the joy in her best friend's eyes, how excited she was, how this… other… girl had brought her back to life in ways Karma could only imagine.

Fuck did she hate that bitch.

But there was that memory again… those words.

Just you and me. I wish it could always be like this.

It was a slow dance, that memory, in fact and in Karma's mind. It was like its own little island in her thoughts… no… not an island. It was its own little world, this tiny little space she could never escape, could never get free of, the gravity was too strong and it always pulled her back in no matter how hard she resisted.

Not that she resisted all that much.

It was a slow dance, quite literally. Her head tucked beneath Amy's chin, her cheek resting against the blonde's chest, just the lightest, the tiniest bit of skin against skin, the sound of Amy's heart beating in chest was soft and steady and it was all Karma could hear and, she was pretty sure, it was all she'd ever want to hear. In her memory, Karma remembered everything else just slowly sinking away, disappearing below the surface until they were all that was left.

"Just you and me," she said, her breath soft against Amy's skin. "I wish it could always be like this."

That was Karma's memory, the one she could never escape. Her one most perfect moment, the few minutes where none of the rest, not Liam, not faking it, not her family or Amy's, not the heartbreaks and betrayals and lies, none of it mattered.

It was her. It was Amy.

It was them.

That was her memory but she knew, she remembered that it wasn't quite that way for Amy, that it wasn't quite her perfect moment. For Amy, what had been sheer ecstasy and perfection for Karma had been… well… all that and a layer of pain so deep Karma could hardly imagine it.

That moment was everything Amy had always wanted. And everything she was sure (sure) she'd never have.

It took years. It took a bus rolling out of Austin and it took Reagan and it took different colleges on different coasts and it took so many nights and so many memories but finally?

Karma knew exactly how Amy had felt.

It ran through her like a train barreling down the track (and, yeah, she got the irony of that particular metaphor) and all Karma could do was lay down on the tracks.

She watched as Amy stepped out of the bathroom, putting the final touches on her outfit for their night on the town and Karma was… what was the word?... gobsmacked. Slack Jawed. Just fucking killed.

She stared, not even trying to hide it, at her best friend (at least she thought it was Amy, but she couldn't be sure because, really… just… fuck) and at her shape hugging black top with the tiny little peekaboo cutout at the top of her cleavage and let her eyes wander (roam) (drink in) (salivate) their way down to that skirt, all tight and leather and red (and Karma couldn't help wondering when Amy had become all leg) and she was pretty sure there was no air left in the room because why else would she suddenly be unable to breathe?

"Woah," she said softly.

"I know," Amy said. "It's too short isn't it? I told Lauren I couldn't pull off short. Or is it too tight?" She spun around so Karma could check the back and Karma immediately knew two things.

She needed to send Lauren a thank you text. Like now.

And the phrases 'too short' or 'too tight' would never apply to anything Amy would wear ever again.

"Karma?" Amy said as she waved a hand in front of the other girl's face. "Should I change?"

Karma shook her head. She was afraid to speak (and, mostly, afraid of the words that might come out, words like 'never' and 'not a thing' and 'only if you're planning to take it all off and we're staying in for the night and the rest of our lives.') and Amy smiled at her and held out a hand.

"Ready?" she asked.

No. Karma wasn't ready. Not even fucking close.

But now she got it. She knew how Amy had felt, she knew why her best friend's heart had really been beating so fast during that slow dance and why it had seemed like she'd held on just a little longer than needed when the music had stopped.

Karma took Amy's hand and let her lead her out of the room and down the stairs to the waiting cab. And when they climbed in and Amy tugged her close Karma melted into her, letting the blonde's arm slip around her as she rested her head on Amy's shoulder.

"I missed you," Amy said quietly, the words just for them.

"I missed you too," Karma replied softly and she could only hope her voice hadn't betrayed her but right then? She didn't care. It didn't matter even the tiniest bit if Amy figured it out, if she suddenly sat back in her seat and looked at her with that so Amy look, the one she always gave her when she'd figured out one of her schemes or seen through one of her fibs (not lies. Fibs).

Right then and there, Karma didn't care. She couldn't bring herself to pretend anymore, she couldn't find it in her to even begin to fake that this wasn't everything she wanted.

"Amy…" she said, turning her head so she could look up at her. The words were there, on the tip of her tongue and Karma knew this was it, the point of no return. This wasn't telling the school Amy was a sex addict, this wasn't almost ruining things for her and Reagan, this wasn't (so wasn't) the pool kiss. This was something she couldn't back out of, couldn't explain away, couldn't devils-in-the-details lie her way out of.

"Yeah?" Amy asked, as she scooted closer and tipped her head against the top of Karma's, the motion just enough to shift that top and that cutout and Karma couldn't help it, her eyes just drifted (yup… drifted) that way, and she saw it then. The smooth expanse of Amy's skin just beneath that black silk and it looked so…

Shiny.

Like a diamond. A diamond on a ring on a chain resting against Amy's skin.

"I… I really missed you," Karma said. And Amy squeezed her tight and mumbled an 'I really missed you too' into her hair and Karma huddled against her the rest of the ride, her hands linked around Amy's waist and her head on her shoulder.

And her eyes never moved once.