Chapter VI:
The End of the Dream
I'm only getting weaker trying to finish my task.
My body shook as I tried to maintain control on my host. No matter who I take control of I can never change my face.
Today's the day.
...
I woke up as I felt the sunlight hit my face. A smaller body gripped onto me when I sat up.
No dreams. I hadn't think I would have gone without him bothering me.
I heard groaning from the person next to me as I tried to collect my thoughts.
"Mom, I told you you don't need to do this. I think I'm old enough to be-", he stopped when he saw I was next to him.
"Miss!", he almost flung him self to the other side of the sheets as he blushed.
"Wha-wha-what are you doing here ma'am?" His voice shaked as he tried to cover his blushing face.
I smiled.
"You told me to sleep with you the other night." I wanted to pinch his cheeks as he continued to blush.
"Oh yeah..." He stood up sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.
"No wonder it was such a nice sleep", he murmured.
"What was that?", I asked.
"N-n-nothing. Hey I think my mom is calling me downstairs. I'll wait for you at the table." Just as he said that he rushed out of the room.
A boy who likes me.
I went downstairs after taking care of putting things away in his room.
"So I've heard you slept with Daisuke the other night." His mother was still preparing breakfast while Daisuke blushed in his chair.
"Mom!" He tried to cover his face with his shirt.
I didn't think I can make a boy feel this way.
"Who did you hear this from ma'am?", my voice rang as I heard her lowering the fire.
"My grandfather peeked in on you two while trying to gather a few things from his study on the second floor." She smiled as her wooden spatula shifted the chopped vegetables sizzling in the pan.
"He said it was as if he was seeing young love in the making." Daisuke shifted as his face continued to darken.
"Mom!" His muffled reply came from under his shirt.
I needed nothing more than to hear those words.
She set down plates once she was finished. Filling our plates up with sauteed vegetables and steamed rice. She sat down with a smile on her face as everyone began to eat.
Daisuke's face still blushed as he ate his fill and his mom sat there happily humming.
She wiped her mouth as she looked at me and opened her mouth to speak.
"I've seen you only wear that thing you've had on for a while now. Didn't you bring any extra clothes for yourself to wear when you left your village?" Her mouth verbalized as her eyes gave my outfit a once-over.
I didn't even realize until now.
"No. This is the only thing I have with me." Food stuck onto my lips as she looked at me from across the table.
"That won't do. I know you probably only came here to just get something from the village, but you must always be prepared no matter where you go." Her voice said as she scrapped down the last of her food.
Despite my protests she dragged me out to the shopping district leaving Daisuke behind to clean the dishes.
She held up a pair of clothes off the table in the store. "Do you think this would look nice on me?"
She held up a light pink blouse on sale. "I think it would look nice on you, but I think a green one would look nicer."
She stood in thought and held up the shirt again. "You really think so?"
I nodded my head as she put it back and picked up a green one with a floral pattern. She held up to me and I nodded my head.
I only picked up one with the lowest price; it was a plain white blouse. She shook her head at me.
"Here." She handed me the green shirt she picked out. "I'll find another one, don't be shy to pick something you like." She waved me off to look in the mirror.
It's not that bad.
I held in front of me as I looked at it. "I guess I'll take this one."
She said the clothes were on her as we walked out. She wanted me to wear her clothes from when she was younger for my bottom half.
"You look happy today. Are you thinking about the guy who saved you the other day?", she bumped hips with me as we walked down side-by-side.
"No." My face blushed as she laughed at me.
He looks almost exactly like Aldo. Why would I?
"I guess I won't have a daughter-in-law then to call my own then. Because that guy already stole your heart." I only looked at her wide-eyed.
No. that's not it at all.
I tried my best to protest. "H-he's not what you think...he's just some guy who helped me...n-nothing else."
"Oh, really?" I stole a glance behind me as the same man was there checking out jewelry from a display.
"I'd like to differ." He walked up to us, Kotoka already was smiling as I tried to maintain my composure.
"Is this the guy?", her voice trailed off as he edged closer to me.
"Yes." Please go away.
"I'm not some ordinary guy, you know." He only towered over me as I tried to move away.
I became a blushing mess. No, not here.
"I guess I'll leave you two alone...I don't want to get in the way of a lover's quarrel." She sped off without another word.
Wait! I expected more from you.
"I came here to only protect you. We made a deal, right?" His eyes stared down at me as I tried to throw him off me.
Time to get rid of him.
"I'm not in any danger, sir. So there is no need for you to be here." He grabbed my hand while I attempted to walk off.
"Yet there is still danger that lurks wherever you go, my dear."
He's annoying me.
"What do you want?", my voice held a hint of annoyance.
"I only want to help you." He grabbed my hand.
"Come here." He dragged me off into the oncoming crowd.
Wait!
We went to a sweet shop.
He bought us a few mitarashi dango as he sat me down on the wooden steps near the door.
"Come on. Let loose a little." He handed me one.
I'm still angry.
"Why do you do things against my will?", I said as I looked at him.
"A girl like you doesn't look like the type who had much fun in her lifetime. I know you might not like me dragging you around, but at least live a little." He held the dango in front of me, waving it.
I grabbed it.
"Fine, after this you let me go." I munched down the dango as he looked at me with a smirk on his face, snickering.
"Okay, princess." I almost choked while I was swallowing.
"H-hey!" He only laughed harder while looking at my expression.
"You just look like a bloated blow fish while eating that. I just can't help it." He rolled on his side giggling.
I don't need to be with someone who makes fun of me.
I tried walking off as he laughed.
"Wait! Wait. don't leave. You just looked so cute while eating it I couldn't stop." He stood up with the dango in his hand.
"Come on. Stay a while." His sad eyes only discouraged me from taking another step.
Maybe, maybe it's not him.
"Okay, only if you stop laughing at me." I sat back down as I patted on the steps for him to sit next to me.
He only smiled at me before sitting back down.
"Okay, whatever you say princess." Eventually it lead into us talking about our interests.
As the sun started to set we spent almost the entire day in each other's arms.
I never even realized as we walked to a grassy part of the village.
He only giggled as he lead me around.
Someone who likes me?
He sprawled down on the grass motioning me over to come near him. He grabbed my arm and I fell on top of him.
I blushed.
I shouldn't do such things.
How could I get so attached so quickly to someone who drags me around?
I looked at him as he smiled up at the starry sky.
I shouldn't be here.
I almost considered my idea of leaving, but before I could get up he wrapped his arms around me.
"I've never met anyone like you." His eyes only stared into my own.
I didn't want to love anyone, but this man how could he change my mind?
I started to tear, he held me. "What's wrong?"
My body convulsed as he held me closer.
"I've never thought I would like anyone so early. But why did it had to be you?" His dark eyes peered into my own.
"What's wrong with it being me?" I heard him whisper from above me.
"I just don't know." He pulled me higher.
What is he doing?
Our lips met under the moon's rays. Why?
"You don't have to understand to like me." He pressed his face into mine.
"Just love me princess." I bursted into tears as he peppered kisses down my neck.
He's the second one to make me feel this good.
I found myself in his house being subjected by his gentle kisses.
Why? Why is this happening?
I found myself bare in his arms. Only the sheets covered us on the floor of his room.
I struggled to muffle my moans as he ravished my body. He pinned my hands above my head. His face seem so shadowed in the moonlit room.
"Please, I want to hear you." He wrapped my legs around his waist. I don't understand.
Throughout the night I felt myself getting the same feeling, the elation I got from the last one.
My feelings jumbled into disproportion as I gave in. My body shook as I felt myself hit wave after wave of the intense emotions I had before, but this one was different.
It felt so filled with love I only wanted to wake up from it. Eventually it stopped as he held onto me from behind.
I cried as sleep swept me again into nothingness.
Why can't I live peacefully knowing this is unreal?
I woke up feeling the soreness between my legs as I looked around. I was in the same room the old man let me stay in the day before.
Was it all a dream? Nothing was misplaced. My clothes were in the same arrangement as I laid down on the futon.
I felt between my legs, despite my growing blush. It didn't feel any different.
I shifted looking at the brightness of the sun's rays as it hit me.
Nothing happened?
There was a knock at my door, Daisuke walked in with the same blush he wears whenever he is around me.
He sat right next to me. I was confused until he started to wrap his arms around me.
"I was so worried that you might have left." His voice trembled.
Why?
I looked at him as he gripped onto me.
"You came so late yesterday. You didn't even notice me as you walked back to your room." He buried his face into my shoulder.
But I don't remember returning home.
"Please be okay, okay miss. I've never seen you like that. Just don't be like that..." He kept on rambling as he held me.
This has got to stop.
I pulled him back, and as he stared at me in confusion I smoothed back his hair and planted a kiss on his forehead.
I didn't mean to do it.
"I'm sorry I won't ever do it again. I promise." I held him close.
I didn't understand what I did.
He kept bawling into my chest.
And as long as I'm here I won't worry anyone I care about.
His mother wasn't in the kitchen when we both walked down. It was as if she disappeared from existence.
Daisuke walked to the stove, grabbed a pan, and started a low fire on the stove as he started cooking food.
Where's his mother? He continued to stir whatever he threw into the pan as it cooked and turned to me.
"My mom has gone with my grandfather to visit someone a while over from here. He closed up shop for today, so he left you in my care." He threw whatever's in the pan onto two plates and sat down to eat with me.
We silently ate while I wondered what emotions he's feeling as he held a straight face.
This is not normal.
"Are you okay Daisuke?" He held his head closer to the plate as he shoved more food into his mouth.
He started crying.
What happened?
He pushed his plate away as he looked at me. I felt surprised from the amount of mixed emotions dancing in his irises.
"Why were you with another man?" His voice trembled as he talked.
"Why?" His eyes pierced me.
Is that what is troubling him?
"He was just some man who saved me and walked me home the other day ." His tears continued to fall.
Did I say something wrong?
"Then why were you gone all yesterday? My mother told me you were with him." Him intense eyes never faltered when looking at me.
"He dragged me everywhere. He wouldn't leave me alone. You must understand I wanted to come home as soon as possible."
It looked like he wasn't buying it as he gripped his chair.
"Then if he was such a good person to save you why didn't he let you go home? I bet you're just saying that to spare my feelings." His body shook on the other side of the table. He turned away from me.
This is enough.
I walked over to him, pulled up his face and looked into his eyes.
He looked so sad.
I crashed my lips onto him not knowing the wherewithal of my actions. My eyes started to water.
I don't want to trouble him with myself any longer.
He gripped onto me.
I'm only complicating things by doing this.
He's only just a boy.
His eyes were furbished with a new found sensation.
I took away his chance of experiencing it with someone who truly loves him.
My eyes scrunched. I can't do it.
I pushed away from him. His eyes glazed over from the loss of contact as he continued to stay there motionless in his chair.
His mouth only drifted an uneasy sentence that sent shivers all around me.
"Why did you do this?"
I panicked. I took in as many breaths as I possibly can.
"Do you truly love me?" He reached out to me.
No.
I backed away, my heart leapt in my chest.
I don't know.
He latched onto me. No. Stop it.
I ripped it away from him.
I'm not ready.
I ran out the back door as quickly as I can.
I can't deal with this right now.
I was plagued by his screams. I covered my ears.
I'm only making things worse.
"I want to go home", my voice trembled as I was pelted with rain.
No one needs me. They don't need someone like me.
I don't know where I was running.
"Garbage..."
Stop. Water splashed against me as I kept going.
"Stop fooling yourself..."
Why can't you go away? I felt myself travel farther and farther from where I originally started.
"An adult who never grows up is still a child..." I fell as I found myself already a distance into the dense forestation.
I'm just not ready to face it yet.
My back turned to the flash of lightning in the sky.
I can barely see. I kept on pushing forward as wind rushed around me.
He'll eventually understand.
I heard several cracks around me as I ran.
I continued forward nonetheless.
It's probably nothing.
Before I knew it my legs swung in midair.
I was falling.
The pull of gravity forced me to look at the sky as I descended.
If I die will I eventually come back to my reality?
The wind forced cold air onto me.
If I died will I still be the same?
I had a feeling my body will hit the ground as soon as I stopped thinking.
Would I be happy by then?
Darkness consumed me as I hit the ground.
Your only making my job harder by wasting my energy to save to you.
...
I woke up. I was subjected to vivid spectral colors produced by the scenery. The trickling of a small waterfall caught my attention.
My fears have suddenly vanished.
Where am I?
A melodic harmony trailed from behind the seemingly weightless water from the ledge above. The music got louder as I approached it. I peeked inside. The water cascaded down my back in driblets, it only continued to travel over me rather than soaking into my clothes.
I'm already lost.
There's nothing wrong with poking around.
It reverberated around the barely lit cavern.
It's so beautiful. I continued down only to the light ahead. I made out a figure gently strumming the instrument. The white marble shined under the person playing above it.
The person closed their eyes as their fingers danced on the lyre. I stepped closer.
I was almost close enough to see their face.
Her milky white skin softly blushed from the light flooding above. She's so beautiful.
My foot crunched on the smoothed stones laid around her. The music abruptly stopped.
Her eyes flew open. The light brown eyes peeked out from under her light colored hair.
No. I'm sorry.
She suddenly vanished into nothingness as her instrument fell down on top of the white marble.
"You never learn do you?" A head peeked out from the shadows of the cavern.
Water splashed around him as he approached me.
White hair glowed under the light. His eyes smirked at me as his mouth held his proverbial smile.
He came closer. "Do you understand the consequences of your actions, Michelle?"
His shirt stretched across his lean frame.
Why is he here?
"I did nothing wrong." He laughed at me.
"You sound so serious when you say that sweet flower." He grabbed the instrument on the pedestal and strummed it in his hands.
What's your game this time?
"What are you getting at Aldo?" I tried to burn holes into his careless form.
He continued to play with the strings. He's playing with me.
"What I'm getting at, sweet heart, is that your not ready to face reality yet." He sat down onto the white marble as if he didn't have a care in the world.
I pulled down my mouth into a scowl.
He has no right to judge me.
"I'm fully ready for everything in my own life, thank you very much." He looked at me under his hooded eyes.
"I'd like to beg to differ mon cheri." He stopped playing.
He faced me, the room darkened.
I froze as images popped up in the dark room. "These are the reasons why."
I wanted to leave, but my legs kept me in place.
"You were put up with a problem." An image flashed up.
"You attempted to fix it, but you ultimately failed." It played overhead like a slideshow.
"You could not handle it. You desperately tried to find comfort in the hands of strangers. They manipulated you in your time of need." I saw the smile on their faces.
"You were driven to find whatever you can to run away from your pain." I wanted to run away so badly.
"Here's another one." It was when my brother started acting out.
"Time after time after time you attempted to run away. You can chase me, but you can only cower in the face of a dangerous man." I didn't want to look anymore, but my eyes were glued to the flashing images.
"No matter where he went your mother took him away from it. The hospitals can't save him. The psych wards only hurt him. He was lost in his own world, but you didn't do a thing to help your mother. You could not even relieve her of her never-ending debt. She died trying to make everyone happy. You didn't even try harder to keep your promise after she passed." He paused as an image of my brother tied up in a straight jacket.
"He's suffering because you refused to take care of him." His voice bounced around the room.
"You tried to ignore that he even existed. You try to maintain your normal life, but you cannot run away from the past. You are only failing to notice that everything can't be saved by running!" I only wanted to just throw everything I had to make him shut up.
My mouth quivered.
Stop playing your god damn games.
"Then what should I do! Huh! This is all you ever do Aldo!" He laughed.
"You can only be weak by thinking you're weak...You maintain relationships with the people you think that can save you...The only way you can be strong is by not doubting yourself and using alternatives to move on...The only way you can leave is by taking control of the situation and stop running away from the life you lived before..."
His voice is fading away.
"You cannot solve anything at all by being a child..."
I can barely register his words as they grew quieter.
"Wake up my dear Michelle."
Excruciating pain filled me as the pounding of rain invaded my ears.
I was being carried. I can't even see them.
Damp white hair caught my eyes.
I struggled. He's not going to have his way with me anymore.
I saw the face of the person as they looked down at me.
"So your awake?" His masculine voice flew into my ears.
I stopped. It's not Aldo?
His attire glistened in the night. My mouth only held silent to his words.
His face turned forward as he held me.
"I thought you a spy sent by the Uchiha. Are you perhaps a noblewoman who got lost in the forest?"
I cannot mistake it. His attire, his voice, his face they look exactly like the second.
He continued to speed off in the trees.
Should I say something?
He could probably tell when I'm lying.
I have no choice if he's going to feel more suspicious.
"I'm not actually." I observed him as we continued in silence.
"Then what are you?" His eyes peered down at me.
He won't believe me.
"I-I'm just an ordinary girl." He probably caught onto my hesitation.
He continued farther and farther into the greenery.
"Well if you are as you say then you have no problem, but I have no doubt with someone with your chakra levels..." His voice held a serious tone.
"...an ordinary girl will be out of the question if what you say isn't true."
I have no idea what will happen if they find me guilty.
I'm scared to find out.
All I heard was wind swooshing by me as he held me tightly.
I want nothing more than to understand why it hurts to be alive.
The trees receded into a bare opening in the pocket of the forest. He landed onto the wet dirt, he traipsed over to an empty space.
His hand weaved signs and eventually a path of stairs leading underground appeared.
I stayed silent the whole way.
There's no use of protesting with these type of people.
He continued down the steps. He put his hand on the stone wall, it rumbled as it moved upwards.
White light leaked out from the opening.
As he pushed me through, the room dimmed and three people were sitting at a wooden table.
"Tobirama you were told to return here after making your rounds. Deviating from your brother's tasks will not help you understand the Uchiha's motives." A woman clad in armor huffed as she drank her tea.
"Toka, he's only doing what's needed. Necessary or not, insulting a proficient shinobi of his skill would not put you on his level." An old man spoke while laying out a scroll.
Heavy steps approached us as Tobirama led me to another room. It was the clan leader.
His long hair swished as he gave us a glance before heading over to the table.
What is he planning to do with me?
A plain room with concrete walls and a chair in the center. He thrusted me into the metal coolness of the chair.
It was dented, marks were littering the bars of the backing, and the legs were covered with dark burns.
He towered over me with a steely glare. My hands were already bound together with a flash of hands.
"No one travels far into the forest without a motive. Just why were you there in the first place?" He never showed any emotion.
My mouth stayed shut.
Because I was afraid.
He pushed another question. "What do you plan to do from being stationed there?"
He crept closer.
He put his hand on my shoulder. "If you plan to say nothing during this interrogation I will have no choice but to use other measures of making you speak."
I felt a pulling sensation from my bonds as he held onto me.
I didn't want to die.
I felt numb in his presence. My mouth opened. "I don't know why I'm there. I ran as far as I could to gain a sense of reason."
He let go and paced around me. "Explain."
He's making it harder.
I started to sweat. "I just ran away j-just nothing else."
He rounded me as I sat in the chair.
"It doesn't explain anything. Explain why your there", he voiced this right near my face.
I don't want to.
"I'm just there. I don't know why." He kept a serious stare as he looked at me from above.
He frowned.
"You cannot be there for no reason. Stop lying and answer truthfully."
I'm embarrassed to.
"I'm not lying. I'm telling the truth. Please sir believe me."
My heart is racing faster than ever before.
He grabbed me on the shoulder.
"How could I believe you when you don't even believe it yourself. I will let you go to wherever you came from if you do."
I inhaled in short breaths.
Why am I so scared? Just answer him.
My mouth can't even form the words.
Tears fled from my eyes. I can't.
"I don't know...I just ran that's all. Please I don't want to say it." I whimpered.
He rested his hand on me.
"I'll give you tomorrow to answer." He left the room without another word.
Was this his way of showing pity?
My head fell forward as the pull of my bonds kept me from falling out of my chair.
I've never felt this humiliated.
I had no doubt he won't come back until the next day.
My eyes closed.
I felt exhaustion wash over me like a sickness. I can't stay up any longer.
I fell asleep in my chair.
I want to return to when everything was fine.
...
I was drowned in the images of my past.
"Mommy look I made a sand castle. Look!" My younger self tugged on my mother's sleeves.
She stood up and walked over to the drooping formation.
"How long did it take you to make this, baby." Her smile never faded from my vision.
I counted my fingers. I looked back at her.
" I think about an hour." She lifted me up in her arms.
"Well Michelle I think it's beautiful." She laughed as I toddled away from her.
Another one popped up.
"Mom, what does a nurse do?" My legs swung in my chair.
She placed food in front of me.
"A nurse saves people, Michelle." She sat down next to me.
"In what way?" I shoveled food into my mouth until my cheeks puffed.
She tousled my hair. "In many ways, monkey-head."
My childish eyes looked up to her.
In a way I kept her words to heart.
...
Me and my dad were walking up the mountain.
Usually my mom and my brother came along, but on this one I came alone with my father.
I grew tired and asked him to carry me on his shoulders.
His shoes crunched on the ground as he hiked upwards.
"Dad?" I was wrapping my arms around his head.
"Yes, baby." I was the only one he talked gently to.
Shadows danced on his clothes as I rested my chin on top of him.
"Why do you yell so much?" He continued forward on the leave filled ground.
"I don't yell baby. Just only sometimes when daddy's angry." I played with his light brown hair.
"Why?" Scenery kept on passing by us as he carried me.
" You will understand when you're older Michelle." Leaves flew past overhead.
...
I understood what he meant once I saw her struggle.
...
My mother worked for four days straight. I laid her on the bed.
She instantly fell asleep right away.
She refused to stop cleaning the kitchen.
I had to pull her out to rest.
She moved onto her side and gripped the sheets.
I slowly closed the door of her room and walked away.
I felt the urge to hold her tight every time she became like that.
...
The nagging feeling never left my side.
...
She roved the room back and forth, preparing for my brother's birthday.
She set out plates. The table was bare of nothing else but of food and a variety of snacks.
I sat at the kitchen table and heard the front door open.
My eyes traveled over to the door. My brother came home.
The afternoon soon transitioned into the night as we sat for the last remaining course.
The cake had the number seventeen sitting on top of it.
My mother took pictures as he blew out the candles.
"What is your wish, Thomas?", my mother asked as she sat down to cut the cake.
I sat on the other side of her.
He responded. "I want to become successful and live out my life."
We ate cake as my mother passed around the slices.
...
But he never became successful, he only lived in agony.
...
My brother came home. He smelled of cigarettes.
He kept on rambling about the same things over and over.
"I'm gonna make a million dollars. My music can change the world. You just don't understand, for I'm much more smarter than you."
He bobbed his head while turning his music all the way on the computer.
He's going deaf.
I tried to convince him to turn it down, he turned to me.
It was the same answer.
"You're ears are just sensitive. Just bare with it. If you got more sleep you might want to listen to it more."
...
No amount of rest can change me. You're only going to lose yourself to your senses.
...
He stayed in his room on and off, he had a hard time controlling his emotions.
A lamp was broken on the floor.
My brother stood clad in his usual attire tensing with every heavy breath.
"I can't help it if I'm not good enough!"
His voice raged in the presence of my mother.
"Thomas there's no need for breaking things." She tried to grab his arm.
He threw her off him.
"I don't need school to get where I need to be, mom!"
I felt a thousand fires light within me. I stepped closer.
He shrugged on his backpack and left.
He came back the following day with no success.
...
You cannot expect your premonitions to be false.
...
I walked over to the mangled body that laid on the ground.
She was driving me home from school before passing out on the wheel.
I was the only one that survived.
Police cars raced to the scene in rapid speed as the paramedics gathered her into the back of the car.
I was brought along to be assessed for my injuries.
Question after question flew into my mind.Why did this happen?
I was sat down for an innumerable amount of questions until I was brought home.
I knew it.
She was dead on arrival.
I fell to the ground in my room. My body tried to process the images that flashed before my eyes.
My body shut down. I cannot think.
I curled up on the floor.
Emptiness filled me to the brim, I overflowed with grief.
The only person who understands me is gone.
I dry heaved. Nothing came out.
My tears fell continuously as I laid down.
Why? Why me?
I could not understand the events happening after it.
I was hollow, I continued my day.
I distanced myself from everything and everyone.
If I had the choice I'd rather died that day.
I woke up still inside the room waiting for whatever laid ahead.
I promised to not die for her at one point.
The door creaked.
I'm not going to fall victim to my own feelings.
Someone walked in.
I'm ready for what's ahead.
Oh my gosh the time. I tried harder on this chapter. I'm going to fix the other ones and try to be nit picky.
To no end I still have soup fever with each chapter. I downed so much. Curse you small stomach!
Anyway, I hoped you like it and always a hi is nice to see in the reviews.
May the power of soup be with you wherever you go.
Peace! ^w^