Thanks for all of the kind words and follows- I'd appreciate any reviews/critique you can offer!
Clarke knows she shouldn't really feel this betrayed. Sure, her relationship with Lexa was serious and moving very fast, and sure, Lexa knew almost everything about Clarke, but the blonde had headed into the relationship knowing that the commander was a private person. Should she feel upset that Lexa had not told her about her family? All the brunette had ever said was that the 12 tribes were her family, that she was the matriarch of a Coalition that brought together thousands of people. Not once had she mentioned parents, or siblings, or a family pet.
She sat with the two sisters in Lexa's living room, finishing the breakfast they had asked be brought up.
"So, Daria, now that we are fed," Lexa says, "what is your reason for visiting?"
Daria smiled, and ran a hand over her shaved head.
"As you could probably tell, I am to be wed." Clarke looks at the sisters, confused.
"When two members of Trikru are to be bonded together, they both shave their heads before the ceremony," Lexa explains.
"It is supposed to be a symbol of starting at the same level as your betrothed, growing and changing as one, rather than as individuals," Daria finishes for her sister.
"Well in that case, congratulations," Clarke offers, and Daria smiles and nods in acceptance of the well wishes.
"I want you to be at the ceremony, Lexa. And Clarke, you are also welcome to come, if you so wish." Clarke thanks Daria for the invitation, whilst Lexa just stares at her sister critically, as if trying to piece something together.
"If your only objective were to invite me to your bonding ceremony, you would have brought your betrothed to meet me. Conversely, you could have sent a messenger."
"Alexandria, do you still not trust me enough to believe what I am saying?" Daria questions.
"I just know how to read you better than you think, Big Sister," Lexa replies, "and I know when you're hiding something from me." Daria meets her sister's insistent glare, before looking down in almost-shame.
"Mother," Daria finally says in Trigedasleng, "she is sick."
Clarke watches the despair that flickers onto Lexa's face for just a moment. The commander may be in control of her emotions, but Clarke knows how to pick up on the faint line of worry nestled between Lexa's eyebrows, the way she's moved forward just an inch.
"What's the matter?" Lexa replies in her native tongue.
"The dreaded disease. It has attacked her lungs, and there is not much more the healer can do for her."
"How long does she have?"
"Days. Weeks. Months. We simply do not know. We take each day as it comes, but I fear with every sunrise that it will be her last."
Lexa remains quiet, taking deep breaths to calm herself. Clarke grabs her hand and squeezes it tightly, and Lexa returns the force. Nobody says anything; Clarke and Daria both wait for Lexa to reply, but she doesn't, she just sits there grasping Clarke's hand like it's her lifeforce.
"We'll accompany you back to your village," Clarke finally says, deciding to talk for Lexa, "we will attend your wedding together, and we will visit your mother." She turns to Lexa who nods silently. Daria looks at her sister- stoic, strong Lexa- gripping to Clarke like a scared child. Sensing that Lexa needs some time alone with her girlfriend, she stands up.
"We will leave first thing tomorrow morning," Daria tells the couple, "I will inform Titus of our journey." She offers a small bow before retreating from the room.
The two girls sit in silence, Clarke not wanting to push Lexa.
"Clarke…" Lexa says, her voice so small and timid, so un-Lexa.
"I know, baby," Clarke replies, "I know."
"I haven't seen her since I was sixteen. Sixteen."
"Well it's about time we show her what a wonderful person you've become."
Lexa has a restless night, and as a result, so does Clarke. They meet Daria by the front gates, and Clarke begins to head to the stables.
"No, Clarke," Lexa calls out, "we cannot take horses on this journey."
"Why not?"
"They make me sneeze," Daria supplies, "we must make the journey by foot."
"It only takes a day and a half, do not worry," Lexa adds.
They travel mostly in silence. Daria asks Clarke questions about the Ark, and Arkadia, and Clarke asks her about her fiance. Neither of them speak of Lexa, who walks several paces ahead, and refuses to talk.
"So how did you two happen?" Daria inquires, finally breaching the taboo subject.
"Oh, you know, your run of the mill war and betrayal." Clarke smiles as she hears a small chuckle come from Lexa. "When I moved to Polis as Skaikru's ambassador, I got the privilege of seeing Lexa The Person, rather than just heda. It all happened very quickly after that."
Trying to imagine life before Lexa is like trying to recall life before learning to speak or walk- being with the commander feels innate within Clarke, so intrinsic, that it's as though Lexa is the epicentre of her universe, as though all things in Clarke's life revolve around this one point of pure perfection. To be without Lexa is to be without air, to be left for dead, to be nothing. Sometimes, the intensity of her own love scares Clarke, but all fear leaves her mind as soon as she stares into the curious, gentle eyes of her lover.
"Has she met your family?" Daria questions.
"You know she can hear, you right?"
"Why else would I ask?" Clarke laughs at the response, imagining Lexa to be blushing up ahead.
"Yes, she's met my mother, and all of my friends," the blonde answers.
"Well then it's only fair that you're meeting the family, too." Clarke is apprehensive, to say the least. Though she's already met one family member, she doesn't know exactly what to expect from the rest of the family. She focuses on putting one foot in front of the other, to save her from thinking about the days that lie ahead.
As night begins to fall, the women find a small clearing perfect for camping. Daria looks through the surrounding forest to collect wood for a fire, as Clarke and Lexa go through their provisions for the evening.
"How are you doing?" Clarke asks quietly, resting a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"I would be doing a lot better if you weren't being so chummy with my sister," Lexa grumbles.
"But you and her are on good terms," responds Clarke, confused by her girlfriend's hostility.
"Some wounds heal over time, others do not. I may have chosen to accept my sister back into my life, but that does not mean that I forgive her. I will never forgive her."
"Lexa-"
"You cannot try and convince me otherwise, ain hod."
"But we all do what we think is right in the moment," says Clarke, quoting Lexa's own words back to her.
"Daria didn't act because she thought she was right in the situation," Lexa spits, "she acted out of spite."
"If I were you-"
"You're not me, Clarke, and you have no idea what happened, so I'd appreciate it if you just stopped," Lexa almost yells. She stands, and heads off into the forest.
"Where are you going?" Clarke calls after her, alarmed at the way Lexa is acting.
"To clear my head," comes the reply, as Lexa storms away. She crosses paths with Daria as she leaves the clearing.
"My goodness, what's wrong with her?" Daria inquires. Clarke doesn't reply, she just stands, shocked, and wondering just what it was that Daria did to her sister to make her feel this way.
Clarke stares into the crackling fire, replaying her conversation with Lexa over in her head. To her right, Lexa sleeps. Across the flames sits Daria, none the wiser to her sister's earlier outburst of anger.
"You can ask, if you want," Daria offers, quietly, "why we don't speak. Why I know she'll never properly forgive me."
Clarke's head snaps up, and her eyes meet with Daria's, the latter's filled with grief.
"What... what did you do to her?" Clarke whispers in reply
"Lexa started training when she was four years old," Daria begins, "She was talented, so very talented, and patient, and mature, and compassionate. By the time she was 7, she'd moved to Polis, and would return home to visit on a monthly basis." Daria chuckles humorlessly.
"The older she got, the less frequent the visits became. And then she was sixteen, and we hadn't seen her in over year. When we received word of her Conclave, the whole family came to Polis. While we were there she told us that in order to be an effective leader, that she couldn't have family, that the Clan was her family. She didn't need us as a distraction. I've seen her twice since that night. My parents… well, my father never saw her again."
"That doesn't answer my original question," Clarke challenges, not at all surprised by Lexa's past actions or motivations.
"No, but it helps me rationalize my actions," Daria whispers, her gaze unmoving from the dying flames.
"Three years after the Conclave, my father was gravely injured. Healers couldn't help, and so he lay in agony for days. On the third night, Lexa appeared at our home, wishing to see him.
"I refused her entry. She tried to convince me otherwise, but I reminded her that she was no longer a part of our family, that she had seen to that. When she realized she wouldn't convince me otherwise, she left. He died hours later, calling Lexa's name with his dying breaths."
Clarke could cry, trying to imagine Lexa being so hurt by her Daria's actions that she just gave up. She remembers the last time she saw her own father, and how hard it was to say goodbye. She refuses to imagine how it would feel to not have had that last moment in his arms.
"I was immature, foolish, and spiteful. I denied my sister such a simple act, I denied my father the chance to say goodbye to his daughter. It has haunted me ever since; I suppose it will always do so."
It was moments like this one that reminded Clarke that Lexa was so much more than heda, so much more than the person she allowed Clarke to see. For the blond, it is difficult to remember that mundane things could affect someone as extraordinary as Lexa.
"You said you'd seen her twice," Clarke remembers, "when was the second time?"
Across the flames, she can see tears trace a path down Daria's cheeks.
"The village got word of a death in Polis; the Commander's lover had been tortured and murdered by Azgeda," Daria explains. "The night after we received the news, I came home to find Lexi in my bed, crying. She had managed to sneak in without anybody seeing her. I held her that night, I comforted her as best I could. Neither of us spoke, not once. And the next morning, she was gone."
"Her name was Costia," Clarke tells Daria, "and Lexa loved her very much." Daria nods, accepting the information gratefully.
"Clarke… Our mother is going to die. I will have people to help me grieve, my husband, and sister, and her family. But Lexa, she will return to Polis-"
"She will have me to support her, Daria. You don't need to worry about her." Clarke promises.
"You are her family now, Clarke."
"I know."
The flames die down until only embers remain. Slowly, Clarke drifts off to sleep, her slumber filled with images of her father's dead body floating through space, and Lexa grieving over an empty grave.