The Illegitimate Daughter: A Modern Family Fanfiction
by: cooopercrisp
Chapter 12: Flux
"After a few weeks of therapy," Claire says, "we came up with a plan. We were going to do the paternity test. Phil had been going back and forth on it, but in the end realized that we needed that closure. There was, however, still a bone of contention."
"Why should I need to contact Professor Cooke again?" Claire asked. "If Haley isn't your daughter, then obviously she's his."
"Claire, I know it's awkward for you," Phil said, "but it won't be enough if I test negative. I want to know for sure who Haley's father is, either way, and we can't do that without your professor's participation."
"Look, I know this is all my fault," Claire said, "but do you realize how difficult it will be for me to cold contact this man, who has a family now, and say 'Hey, this is Claire Pritchett. Long time no see. By the way, you might be the real father of my first kid. Can we get a DNA sample just to be sure? Great, thanks.'"
"Well, obviously you don't throw all of that at him at once, and definitely not over Facebook," Phil said. "Tell him you want to catch up, maybe grab a coffee or something."
"That's going to be a mixed message at best," Claire said. "I don't want a coffee. I need a little bit of blood from him, that's it."
"I have an idea," Phil said. "If you do ask him for that coffee, tell him I am coming with you. That should take care of any possibility of 'mixed messages.'"
Claire stopped to think about this proposal. "That makes sense. We'd better just do it now and get it over with."
"Agreed."
Claire pulled out her laptop, not feeling like trying to type such an important message on her phone. She logged into Facebook and did a search for him by first and last name. Once she found his profile, she opened up a chat window. She froze, unsure how to go about reaching out.
"Allow me," Phil said, taking Claire's seat. He began to type.
"Hi, Professor. It's Claire Pritchett. I was wondering…" Phil had to stop typing.
"Not so easy, is it?" Claire asked.
"We need someone a little less emotional about this. How about—"
"Alex!" Claire yelled. "Can you come down here and help us with something?"
"Figured it had to be computer related," Alex says. "I'm the one in the family who always fixes everyone else's computer. This, though, was a request I hadn't expected."
"What's up?" Alex asked as she joined her parents in the living room.
"Phil and I could use your help drafting a message to my old professor," Claire said.
"So you are trying to involve him," Alex said. "Fine, let me see what you have so far."
"Thanks," Phil said, handing Alex the laptop.
When she saw the message draft, she scoffed. "Wow, you really gave me a lot to work with. Hang on." Alex began to type.
"I was wondering if my family could pay you a visit. My daughter is thinking about becoming a college professor herself, and I could think of no one better to give her some advice. I hope this isn't an imposition."
"Is that good?" Alex asked.
"Almost," Claire said. "The problem I have is that I don't want to blindside him with the real reason I want to talk to him."
"You can't put that kind of thing in a Facebook message!" Alex said. "Look, there's no good way to do this, so you'll have to settle for putting the wool over his eyes at least for a little while."
"Okay, I trust you," Claire said.
Alex hit the send button.
"Oh God, I can't believe you just did that," Claire said.
"I've found it's better to just bite the bullet when you're nervous," Alex said. "Now we have to wait for his response."
"Well, thanks for helping us do that," Phil said. "We can always count on you."
"Thanks, Dad," Alex said.
"The wait after that was excruciating," Claire says. "He finally got back to us about a week before Alex was supposed to return to school. That was good, because if Alex had been unable to go, we would have had to postpone the meeting even more. Still, this was going to be a very difficult topic to bring up, especially this out of the blue."
"Where does this guy even live?" Luke asked as the family prepared to leave home.
"A couple hours north of here," Claire said.
"Are you nervous?" Luke asked.
"Of course," Claire said, "but like Alex said, better to just bite the bullet."
"Are we all loaded up?" Phil asked. "Everyone went to the bathroom?"
"We're ready," Alex said. "Let's get moving."
"Haley, you okay?" Luke asked. "You look pale."
"I'm fine," Haley said, wearing a smile that convinced nobody.
"The night before we took off, I was talking to Andy," Haley says. "I was freaking out about this trip and needed someone to talk to who was outside of it. Even with that conversation, I was still nervous, but if I hadn't talked to him I would've been too afraid to even go."
"Hi Andy," Haley said. "How are you?"
"Pretty good. Are you feeling nervous about heading out tomorrow?"
"That's an understatement. I'm, like, completely frozen."
"Totally understandable," Andy said. "What can I do to get you more ready for this?"
"Go back in time and stop my mom from making this stupid mistake to begin with."
"Oh no, wish I could, but my time machine is in the shop. The flux capacitor is faulty."
"Very funny," Haley said. "Dad's obsessed with 'Back to the Future.'"
"As he should. Those are solid, fun movies."
"I know what you're doing, trying to distract me with humor. It's not working."
"You sure? Sounds like it's working a little."
Haley smiled. "Fine, a little, but can we try to be more serious? What am I going to do if Dad Isn't really Dad?"
"Well, think about it, it's really just a formality, right? He was the one who's been there for you. He's your dad in every way that counts."
"I know that, but I'm still scared shitless."
"First of all, that's a totally normal reaction. This is a scary situation. Don't be afraid to feel that way. People aren't supposed to be happy all the time."
"Yeah, Andy, I know that. I just need someone to tell me that it's gonna be okay."
"It will be okay," Andy said. "I don't care what that freakin' piece of paper says. You're Phil's daughter. Don't let a bunch of genes change that."
Haley paused for a moment. "I love you, Andy."
"Love you, too," he said, barely missing a beat. "Good luck tomorrow. And if you need to text or call me, I'll be there. Taking care of little Fulgencio for your grandfather."
"Thank you, Andy," Haley said. "You probably will hear from me."
"Have a good night."
"You, too."
"After that call," Haley says, "I really didn't feel, like, a ton better. It was just enough to get me to go, even though it still felt like butterflies in my stomach."
"Alright, let's get going," Phil said. "Everyone buckled up?"
The other four Dunphy family members said yes.
"Then we're off," Phil said, pulling out of the driveway.
About fifteen minutes into the drive, Haley started struggling to breathe.
"Haley, what's wrong?" she asked.
"Can't...do this…" Haley said between gasps of air.
"She's having a panic attack!" Alex shouted.
Claire turned around. "Don't speak. Focus on breathing. Slow breaths, in and out."
At first Haley couldn't catch her breath, but her mother's mantra finally helped her calm down.
"Better?" Claire asked.
"A little," Haley said. "Thanks."
"Of course," Claire said.
When they finally arrived at the house of Professor Cooke, Claire could see that everyone was on edge. None of them said a word to each other as they stepped out of the vehicle and walked up to the door. The professor's lawn was perfectly trimmed, and his house was at least twice the size of their own. When they knocked, a girl around eight or nine years old answered.
"Hi!" she said. "Can I help you?"
"We're the Dunphy family," Claire said. "We want to talk to your father."
"Let them inside, pumpkin," said an unctuous voice that could only be the professor.
The girl stepped back, and as the family came inside, Professor Cooke came over and shook their hands vigorously.
"Nice to see you again, Claire, and I am delighted to help Alex in any way I can."
"Wonderful," Phil said. "If you don't mind me asking, where is your wife?"
"Taking care of some errands. She should be back soon. So, Alex, what did you want to know about my profession?"
The Dunphy family stood tense, and after not responding for a moment, Professor Cooke's mood soured.
"Is everything okay?" he asked. "You seem tense."
"We need a place to talk away from…" Claire beckoned towards the professor's daughter.
"Heather, can you give us time to talk?" Professor Cooke asked.
"Yes, Daddy." Heather made her way upstairs.
Professor Cooke turned back to them, wearing a frown. "I should have known this wasn't an informational interview. Why are you really here?"
"I won't waste time mincing words," Claire said. "When I started dating Phil after you, there was some overlap, and it's not immediately clear who fathered my first daughter."
If any friendliness had been left in Professor Cooke's demeanor, it was now gone. "This is astounding. Why does this even matter?"
"It matters to me," Phil said. "We aren't asking for money or an apology. We just want to run a test and solve this puzzle for good so our family can have some closure."
"And what makes you think I want any part of this circus?" Professor Cooke's brow furrowed. "I want you out of my house at once."
"No," Claire said. "I won't let you bully me into doing what you want me to do. I am through with that. All we need from you is a small blood sample. After that, we never need to see each other again."
"Sounds simple, but unfortunately, it isn't," Professor Cooke said. "If I were her father, she would be my oldest child. How would that affect our estate should my wife and I pass on? If your daughter thinks she has a claim to any of my assets, then she is sorely misguided."
"I don't want your damn money!" Haley said. "It's not about that. It's about finding the truth and moving on."
"Easy words for someone who doesn't realize my worth. I will under no circumstances place my name on any legal document that could jeopardize my family. Let your husband take the damn test, Claire. If he fails it, then that should be enough for you to know it was me. Unless, of course, there is a possible third option we don't know about."
Claire marched over to him and slapped him in the face. "I will not be insulted like that in front of my kids."
"Good, now we can add an assault charge to the mix."
"Oh you know I could've hit you much harder than that if I wanted to. I can't believe I ever dated you in the first place."
"Hang on, hang on," Professor Cooke said. "First of all, you are right. That comment was out of line and I apologize. Second, if you really want to know so badly, speak to a lawyer and draw up a provision stating that regardless of the paternity test results, your daughter is surrendering any legal claim she may have to our estate. If all of that is properly documented, you may have my blood sample so you can do your test."
Claire's anger dissipated. "Wait. Why the change of heart? Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, but—"
"My daughter is upstairs," Professor Cooke said, "and she means the world to me. You're parents, Claire and Phil, you understand. I want to be a good example for Heather. Whether you realized it or not, Claire, I have been aware of this potential issue for a long time. It kept me up some nights. I thought I had been home free, but then you came here demanding my DNA and I panicked."
"What's your point?" Claire asked.
"My point is I need to own up to my mistakes and take responsibility, even though it is hard. I want my daughter to know that her father stepped up and made the responsible choice to help you folks put this to bed. Claire, you might have thought I was the villain in this story. That is not a role I want to see myself in, so despite my initial shock, I assure you I will do everything I can to help you."
"If we surrender any claims to your estate," Claire said.
"Right. I need to protect my family. I know you understand that."
"Of course," Claire said. "We will start the legal process then. Thank you."
"You're welcome."
Once they left Professor Cooke's house, the Dunphy family felt a little relief, but more was on the horizon. As they drove home, they began to discuss.
"How are we going to find a lawyer who can help us?" Phil asked. "They aren't cheap."
"I'll call my brother and ask him for some recommendations," Claire said.
"Wish Uncle Mitchell could just help us pro Bono," Luke said.
"He's an environmental lawyer," Claire said. "This isn't in his area of expertise, but I'm sure he knows someone."
"I hope he does," Haley said. "I just want this nightmare to be over."
"We all do," Phil said, "but it won't be easy."
"What was all that talk about his estate?" Luke asked. "I didn't think college professors made that much."
"It's his family more than him," Claire said. "Still, I can understand why he wants to be careful. If I were in his place, I would want the same for my family."
"The rest of the ride home was quiet," Claire says. "Everyone kinda got lost in their own heads. I was still scared out of my wits. I want Phil to be the father so bad, because obviously he is the only dad Haley had ever known. I know it's just a piece of paper, but it obviously means more than that."
"Am I still angry?" Phil asks. "Of course. But I can't feel that way forever. My family needs to know that their mom and dad are working as a team to get to the bottom of this. Any bitter feelings I have, well, I can deal with them on my own. I just want to be as helpful as I can, as I have to be. I won't use a technicality like this to avoid my responsibility to my family. Walking out on them again, even if the results aren't what I want, is out of the question."
When the Dunphy family returned home, Claire retired to her bedroom and called Mitchell.
"Hello," Mitchell said. "How did it go?"
"Better than I expected," Claire said. "I was afraid he wouldn't even want to do it. He agreed to pursue it, but I have a few legal hoops to jump through first."
"What hoops?"
"If he is Haley's father, he asks that she surrender any legal claim to his family's estate."
"Estate? I didn't realize...well, anyway, you really never wanted anything to do with him in the first place, so I guess that's fine with you."
"Yes. The problem is that I'm going to need a lawyer. I'm not sure if you know anyone who might be able to help."
"Hmm...I'll have to make some inquiries. Did you get anything provisional in writing?"
"Um…no?"
"Okay, it's fine. Look, I'm just thinking about his perspective. I'm sure you blindsided him with this revelation. I'm not sure what motivation he would feel to help you, or if he even believed you in the first place."
"Oh, he believed me. He was aware of the situation even back then. Of course he did jack shit to actually help me, but he always knew this was a possibility."
"Hmm...well, let me see if I can find someone to help you. They can reach out to his attorney. Do you have that attorney's contact information?"
"No. God, Mitchell, I can't believe how unprepared I was for this."
"It's fine. Reach out to him and I'll verify the credentials."
"You're being surprisingly levelheaded about this. I thought I was going to get a lecture."
"I'll save the holier-than-thou attitude for after this whole thing is over. I just want to help you navigate this complicated issue. How's Phil handling things?"
"Not sure what happened between him leaving and returning, but he seems better now."
"Claire, I'm sure you don't need to hear it from me, but that man loves you more than life itself. I've got a husband who's the same way. Cam would walk through fire for me, and I know Phil would for you."
"That's why I hope it's really him. Phil doesn't deserve it if he isn't Haley's father."
"No one in your family deserves that. I'm pulling for you. I'll get you a list of good attorneys soon. Have a good night."
"Thank you, Mitchell." Claire said. "I love you."
"Love you, too." Mitchell hung up the phone.
Claire spent some time pacing around the room, suddenly unsure what to do. She'd taken care of everything she could today, but was unsure about how to spend her free time. She decided to call one more person before rejoining her family. She dialed and waited for the call to be answered.
"Hi, Dad," Claire said when he picked up.
"Claire. How's it going?"
"Not bad. I took care of everything I needed today."
"That's good." For a moment there was silence. "Claire, you wanted to talk to me about something, or you wouldn't have called."
"Dad, that's not true. I don't need a reason to call my father."
"It's fine, Claire. I like being helpful. What's bothering you?"
"Okay…" Claire said. "With everything that's happened, I just hope...hope I made the right choices."
"You may want to realize it wasn't all up to you. I might be reading between the lines too much, but I assume one of those choices was whether you should have stayed with that damn professor."
"No, of course not...no."
"Claire, I know you better than you know yourself. I know it's crossing your mind. I'm just not sure why."
"Well…I mean, back then, Phil's career in real estate was just beginning. When we realized I was pregnant and that we were going to need to get married, sometimes I wondered if I forced him to get his career going too quickly."
"While that professor was so far along in his career he was already almost tenured. Claire, you're forgetting an important detail. When you got pregnant, he found every reason to run and Phil found every reason to stay. That's what I meant when I said it was not all your choice."
"Oh, God, you're right, of course."
"I'm your father. I'm always right. Look, I know I can be hard on Phil. The guy is just so goofy. I was afraid he wouldn't be able to handle all the responsibilities of raising a family. What I realized is that I was projecting my own feelings of failure as your father on him."
"Dad, you didn't—"
"No no, Claire, I need to say this. I wasn't a good father for you and Mitchell growing up. I worked too much, I blew my marriage. All you saw growing up was DeDe and me constantly fighting. I wanted to make damn sure you didn't end up marrying a guy who would let you down like I did. So I was hard on Phil, but you know what I realized over the years? That man might not always seem serious, but he is dead serious about being there for his family. When you told him the truth, you know, most guys wouldn't have waited to file for divorce on the spot. Yeah, Phil took off for a while to process it, but he came back willing to find a way to make it work. You hold onto him, Claire. He will not let you down."
Claire was crying, hoping not to sob audibly over the phone. "Thank you, Dad. I needed that perspective."
"Of course, Claire. I love you. Are you alone in your room?"
"Um...yes."
"Go be with Phil, your kids. I'm always a call away if you need me."
"Love you, too, Dad. Thanks." Claire hung up the phone, took a few deep breaths, and went back downstairs to see Phil on the phone.
"Phil, what are you doing?" she asked.
"Ordering out," Phil said. "Chinese."
"I was going to make pork," Claire said, but even as she said it she suddenly felt a wave of exhaustion. "Okay, I could go for some lo mein."
"I know," Phil said. "It's what you order every time."
Claire walked over to Phil and gave him a hug and kiss. "Thank you."
"Yes, I was that emotional about Phil remembering my favorite type of Chinese food," Claire says, wiping away fresh tears with a tissue. "Obviously I was reacting to much more than just lo mein." She blew her nose and set the tissue aside. "Sorry, I know that's gross. Anyway, the next few weeks featured a lot of back and forth between our lawyers. And, you know, school started, and we all had lives that we still had to take care of. It wasn't until Halloween until we got what we were looking for in the mail."
"It's time," Claire said. "We have to go provide our blood samples to the clinic. Professor Cooke's arranged for a date and time on Halloween."
"I see," Phil said. "Would probably be a bit too on the nose to dress as a vampire, huh?"
Claire gawked at Phil. "I think that's the first corny joke I've heard you make in months."
"Yeah, well, it's my go-to response when I'm really nervous."
"I understand. I'm scared, too."
"Still seems weird that they'd need your sample," Phil said. "You're obviously Haley's mom."
"They need a sample from Haley, too," Claire said. "I think they need to see which is mine and which is yours. I don't know, Alex would know more than I would."
"She's spending her free time studying this stuff," Phil said. "First of all, she's starting her senior year, planning to apply to like a dozen colleges, and not only does she still have free time, she uses it to study more? She doesn't get that from me."
"Not from me, either. Luke still jokes she's actually an alien from outer space."
"Our kids are weird."
Claire and Phil looked at each other for a moment.
"Phil, are you sure you want to go through with this?" Claire asked. "If Haley is yours, we don't really gain anything, but if she's not…"
"Claire, it's not about that," Phil said. "I have to know. This is, you know, one of those moments when you're scared, you don't really know what the right thing to do is. I debated this endlessly in my head the entire time Luke and I weren't around. I said to myself, 'Phil, imagine being on your deathbed. Now, how would you feel if you were at death's door and you weren't brave enough to see this through. Would you regret it?' And my answer was yes, so I know I have to do this."
"I wish I was that sure," Claire said. "God, I can't believe what I put you through. Twenty years of holding onto this secret, thinking that it would destroy the family if you found out."
"You made that choice when you were in your early twenties," Phil said. "We were young, we were stupid, we were just trying to get by. Look, I don't know if it helps you, but getting this kind of thing out in the open, it's a healthy thing. If it were my parents, there's no way this would have happened. And do you really think Jay and DeDe would have handled this any better?"
"God, they could barely handle Mitchell and I regardless, and unfortunately there's no chance that we weren't theirs."
"Well, let's be grateful that we're emotionally tough enough to handle this despite our upbringings."
"Hell, it might be because of our upbringings. We learned what not to do."
"Sure, I guess," Phil said. For a moment, he reached out to hug Claire, but pulled away, staring at the document confirming their appointment for the paternity test.
"Seems weird that it's on Halloween," Phil said.
"Why is that?" Claire asked.
"Well, think about it. You spend the night dressed up as somebody else. A ghost, a goblin, a Gremlin. It's not just about being spooky, it's taking a night to try to be someone you're not."
"Um...I don't really follow."
"Claire, when I heard you were pregnant, I was absolutely not ready to be a father. I mean, I wanted to be one, someday, but I didn't think I was up to the task. I remember my dad always said to me to 'fake it until I make it,' so I decided to start acting like I was ready. In a way, I was putting on a costume, pretending that I was ready to be a dad without feeling ready. After a while, you know, I grew into the costume. I pretended to be a father long enough to actually become one. Tell me you didn't feel the same way."
"Well...yes, I suppose I did, although obviously I was holding onto that guilt, too." Claire started crying again. "Phil, do you realize how much that guilt shaped me as a mother? I did everything I could to make sure my kids didn't screw up as badly as I did, and I had to do it all without being able to tell you why. God, I wish I could go back in time and undo all the mistakes I made."
"Sorry, Claire, the DeLorean's in the shop," Phil said.
"Stop trying to be funny," Claire said, but despite that she started laughing. She knew this was not the time to laugh, but somehow it just made her laugh harder. Phil started laughing, too, and it seemed that the laughter was allowing them to release all the pent up stress and doubt that both of them had been feeling for months.
"Wow," Claire said. "In about a week, we're going to finally answer a question that's been running around in my mind for twenty years. Look, you know I'm not big into religion, but I've been praying a lot in the past few weeks...well, at least in my head."
"Me, too. I'm hoping we catch a break on this one. The family sure could use the help."
"I love our kids," Claire said. "More than life itself. If Haley isn't yours...I don't even want to imagine what that would do to the three of them. Haley...well obviously, it affects her the most. She'd have to rethink her whole identity. Alex would have to find some way to rationalize how this would actually help us. Sometimes I think she's too logical about problems, I wish she'd just allow herself to get mad once in a while. And Luke...I don't know what he'd do."
"Probably what I would've done when I was his age. Try to write it off as a joke, try to not let it get to him. Claire, look, I know it's been two decades in the making, but we're almost at the finish line. We get that test back, no matter what it says, at least it will be over. All that worry you've got, at least that goes away. I've been saying it's about closure, and that's what I mean. You can finally put this inner demon to bed."
Claire smiled at Phil. "You're right. Whatever the result is, at least we'll know. I have no right to be married to someone who still manages to see the good in a situation this terrible."
"Well, it's not always easy, but I still try."
Phil gave Claire a hug, the first one she can remember him initiating in a long while.
"Mom and Dad didn't know it," Haley says, "but I overheard that conversation they were having. I was doing everything I could to hold it together, and there's no way I would have been able to do that without Andy. You know...I mean, like, I know I'm still young, but I think about starting my own family someday, and I think this has really made me rethink things. When I was in high school, I thought Dylan was going to be the one. Get married as soon as I was eighteen, have like five kids. But now, having gone through all this...Andy's looking more and more like the better option. He's a good guy, funny, but he's also, like, way more responsible. God, I can see sixteen-year-old me rolling her eyes at me, asking me when I became so lame. This experience, no matter how it shapes up, it's really taught me how to grow up, be more of an adult." She starts rocking back and forth, looking out the window. "I know it's unorthodox, but I think I might propose to him. Do you think that would be weird, coming from a girl?"
"It's uncommon," I say, "but not unheard of."
"The old me would say I'm too desperate. She'd say 'make him come to you.' But, like, does that really even matter? Why should I wait to go after what I want? So what if it's more traditional for the guy to propose, to ask for her father's…" Haley stops talking, staring off into the distance. "Actually, maybe I'd better wait until this is over."
"Sure," I say. "There's no hurry."
"Yeah, let's see how this pans out first. I just hope we all get the answer we want."