CHAPTER 3

Hey everypony, new readers and old alike. This chapter was a little hard to get out for some reason. I guess I'm so used to writing one kind of story, and having to create one this different (and yes, it's a bit different from the rest) becomes a bit like trying to crawl out of a self-dug rut. That, and it's been a while since I last wrote, and I still haven't gotten back into the swing of it. Oh, and if you have yet to check out my Youtube Channel, it's Lieutenant Drake, of course. Mostly weapons and such, if you're into that kind of thing. But if you want to see the real-life Drake and Budder these characters are based on, check it out. Okay, enough self-promotion. Here's the latest chapter of the story. Enjoy, and please review.

A wise pony, I think his name was Gin Rummy once said "There are known knowns, known unknowns and unknown unknowns." I was returning to a place I hadn't been in years, a place (not unlike Fort Mesquite) which harbored certain bad memories. This was a known known. I wasn't entirely prepared for the return to Ponyville and the impact it would have on my psyche. Then again, I knew this would happen. It was a known unknown, if that makes any sense. What happened once we had reached Twilight Sparkle's place was unarguably an unknown unknown.

After a short walk through town, we reached the front door of Twilight's, and Dash knocked casually. We waited for a minute, but strangely, nopony answered. She knocked again, but once again, nopony answered. We shot each other a curious glance, and Dash reached out, turned the unlocked knob and pushed open the door to reveal a dark room. Cautiously, the three of us slowly stepped inside and looked around the blackness. That's when the shock and awe came.

"HEY YOU!" A brown stallion with a dark brown, curly mane called happily, inches from Dashie's face. We all jumped back as the lights came on. The room was virtually full of ponies and party décor, and a cloud of colorful balloons, released from somewhere, drifted up to the ceiling. Then, without any hint or preview as to what was about to happen, the stallion broke into a quick-paced polka song.

"Welcome back, Dashie

and welcome Dashie's crew

enjoy this little party

because it's all for you!"

"Eheheheh..." Dash laughed, caught off-guard.

"And welcome Drake and Budder

Of whom we've heard so much

I couldn't wait to meet you

so I added this little touch!"

With that, the stallion pulled a string, and down unfurled a giant banner depicting the crossed sabers insignia of the cavalry with a magnifying glass (no doubt representing my detective work) superimposed. Flanking this were two stereotypical ghosts wearing goofy grins. Above all of this was painted Welcome Drake and Budder!' I would have been honored had I not felt like groaning at the silliness.

"Bub?" My sister whispered anxiously.

"I have...no...idea..." I replied as the musical number continued with the exuberant stallion actually playing a damned accordion while rolling about the room on a big red rubber ball as he sang.

"You've been gone way too long

We missed you so very much

so have a cake, a fruit punch lake,

some canapes and such!"

"Umm..." I mused, not sure how to respond to the situation as the Stallion put his right foreleg around me and shoved a platter of appetizers in my face.

"Uh, Drake..." Dashie said nervously. "Meet Cheese Sandwich. He's uhh..."

"The new element of laughter...and parties, I assume?" I said with a courteous nod to the stallion.

"How'd ya guess?!" The energetic pony exclaimed, whether condescendingly or jovially I couldn't decide, and a shower of confetti punctuated by a party horn blowing from somewhere punctuated him.

"Oh it has been far too long, Darling..." A white unicorn mare greeted, approaching Dash. I remembered her as Rarity, the fashionista. You know, as if the fancy gown and diamond necklace didn't give that away.

"You're darn tootin'." Another mare added. I recognized Applejack right away as the cowpony came up to hug Rainbow Dash. "I trust ya'll been takin' good care of our Rainbow?" The orange-tan pony with the country drawl asked mock-accusingly.

"Only when she ain't saving my behind." I replied with a shrug. Applejack smiled and nodded.

"Come on guys! This party's for you!" Cheese Sandwich said encouragingly. "Join in and have some fun!" I turned to my sister.

"Lemme guess...you're hungry..." I stated dryly.

"When ain't I hungry?" She shot back.

"Well, I guess this is our party, so go get you some snacks and stuff. I'm gonna...mingle, I guess."

"Goooooood luck with that, brah." Budder commented dryly, walking toward the concessions. I looked around the room. This Cheese guy had gone all out on our party. I guessed that in a way, we were kind of local celebrities. There were three tables full of snacks and sweets. They even had a fondue setup and a chocolate fountain. At least they didn't have cupcakes...Oh Luna...why did my mind have to bring that up?

"Did you have a good trip, Lieutenant Drake?" Twilight Sparkle asked in a friendly tone, trotting up to me.

"Yeah...I guess...Oh, I mean...yes, Your Highness." I replied respectfully, remembering at least some of my social graces as it donned on me that I'd forgotten that the librarian was now royalty.

"Oh Lieutenant, there's no need for that." Twilight stated with a smile. "You don't need to treat me differently just because I became a princess. I'm the exact same pony I always was...I mean...except for the wings."

"Well, at least something changed in this little town..." I joked with a grin. "So...you ever figure out how to...use those?" I asked curiously. Pegasi were born with wings and learned to use them from an early age. I couldn't imagine me getting wings or a horn and trying to figure out how they worked at my age.

"Yeaahhh...it's coming along." The lavender alicorn answered with a sigh. "Between you and me, I could proooobably use a better teacher..." She looked past me, and I turned to see Derpy drinking from her cup, spilling punch on herself in the process. She went to refill her cup, and knocked over the table.

"Bless her heart." I commented, an old adage meaning essentially 'She's a real sweet filly and I love her to death, but...'

"I'm glad you were able to take such good care of Rainbow." Twilight said in a low voice. I turned back to her. "I haven't been able to tell you face to face, but thank you." I couldn't help but smile.

"Why wouldn't I?" I said back. "I love her with all my heart."

"And I'm glad for that too." The princess of friendship nodded. "That she's taken such good care of you too, I mean. Don't take it the wrong way, but when I first met you, you were a real..."

"Workaholic?" I said.

"Sourpuss?" Spike added, walking by and catching some of the conversation. I rolled my eyes and huffed dramatically.

"I was going to say curmudgeon." Twilight countered.

"I think I get it." I chuckled. "And yeah...I admit she's been good for me. They both have."

"So that's your sister, huh?" Twilight asked, watching Budder trying to throw grapes into the air and catch them in her mouth.

"Yep."

"Rainbow told me about her. For her age she..."

"Heheh. Believe me...whatever rumors you may have heard about my sister..." I interjected, "...take them and double them, and you're probably close to the truth about that one." Twilight giggled.

"We've all been keeping up with your guys' adventures." The alicorn said.

"Huh?"

"You guys practically fill the newspapers every few months." Twilight explained. "Even if I didn't hear about your experiences from Princess Celestia, practically everypony knows about the great detective Drake. You three certainly get into some interesting situations..."

"Tell me about it." I muttered. "I'm sort of...semi-retired now. Just trying to get some R and R now, you know?"

"Well, enjoy your stay here." She stated. "I have a spare room upstairs for you and Rainbow, and one for your sister. If you need anything, let me know."

"Always the gracious host, Miss Twilight." I said, making her smile. We were interrupted by the host of our welcome party.

"Aww...what's wrong, don't you like the party?" Cheese Sandwich asked, walking up, speaking like a foal seeking approval.

"I...well yeah, I really do appreciate the party..." I answered. "I'm honored, Cheese Sandwich...I really am, and thank you for all this. Heh...It's just that I've always been kinda...uncomfortable in social situations..." I admitted. "No offense to you, I just have a problem with crowds, you know?"

"I know what ya mean!" He returned in his normally chipper tone. "I used to be a Nervous Nelly around other ponies too! Now look at me, the greatest party pony around!"

"Uh-huh." I pretended to agree.

"You just need to come out of that shell." He grinned.

"Uhhhh, Cheese?" Dashie interjected, stepping between us. "Remember what I told you about Drake? Sometimes, it's better he stays...in the shell. When he comes out of his shell, iiiit's usually in a fight, and then he's kinda the life of the party."

"Woah..." Cheese said respectfully. "You like...ever...you know..." I raised an eyebrow. "You know...kill somepony?" He said this in a hushed whisper.

"Yes." I answered coldly. He cringed a bit. "But only when I had to...and they were all bad." He nodded. I gave a small grin. "You know, I think I'll try some of that fondue. It looks pretty good." The party pony smiled. This trip was already proving to be very interesting...if nothing else. At least it was pleasant. As I helped myself to hot, runny cheese and toast points, I couldn't help but wonder what else would come of this little vacation.

So ends chapter three. I hope you are all finding this volume to be an interesting read. I know it's a little slow in picking up, much like volumes five and nine, but it will soon become quite interesting. I assure you, if you don't find one part of this story appealing, there are so many twists to the trio's lives in this one, you're bound to like it if you're a fan of Drake's saga. I will try to have the next chapter up sometime soon. I'll more than likely be taking my time with this one, just to get it right. As for the next few days, I dunno if I'll be able to post a new chapter. If you need an explanation, I gotta go to the doc and have a nice big wound re-examined, work on a couple Youtube vids for my channel, take Budder shopping for her birthday (She's turning 14), go to the gym, work on some custom masks for an upcoming movie (one of my many jobs), and try and convince my fiancee why I really really NEED an Avtomat Kalashnikova Model 47. Hopefully, chapter four will be up monday afternoon. So until then, thanks for reading everypony! Don't forget to send me your reviews. -Drake