This one is rather short and doesn't jump that far ahead, but it is important to the overall plot. Fair warning, lots of angst.
Read and Review like always.
Cheerio's Sectionals was very much less the emotional experience compared to the Glee's one. The Cheerio's were an award winning, State, National and Worldwide team. Sue watched with a smirk on her face as the team took the Sectionals without even trying.
She honestly wondered why the other teams still tried at this point. The past near decade, there has only been one winner, the McKinley Cheerios. She was still slightly worried coming into it, they had gone away from her usual way of doing things and stayed with a rather simple backset, and focused more on complex jumps.
But here she was holding yet another trophy with the Team gathering around her for the photos. God, winning was amazing.
It never was able to replace that feeling of Linda though. One day it would, she was sure.
Santana rested her head against the cool material of the glass. The rain was pouring down heavily on the highway as they drove back up from Columbia. She sat alone in the back of the bus, her jacket being used as a blanket.
Coach Sue and Mr. Schu sat at the front of the bus, speaking in low tones as they were already planning on what to fix for both their respected teams for the upcoming Regionals months away. She thought Sue was hard by herself, now with the curly teacher with her, they just push each other further and further down the rabbit hole.
Off towards her right was Quinn and Rachel, the two looking like the perfect fucking couple they always were. Rachel's head resting on Quinn's shoulder, Quinn pressing her cheek to the top of her brown head. So fucking perfect. She was jealous of them all the time, this burning feeling in her stomach every time she saw them being together.
Why the fuck did they get to be happy?
At this point, the Cheerio's had put two and two together. It was a long standing rule never to speak about what happened during Cheerio practice. So seeing Quinn and Rachel standing a little closer than would of been called friendly, they didn't even bat an eye.
At least it wasn't walking into Brittany and Santana almost having sex in the locker room.
She loved them both ,of course. Once Rachel and her had gotten based their issues they slowly made a friendship that went beyond just tenseful smiles. Quinn and her were always friends, they saw right through the crafted bitchiness they showed everyone else. But every time she saw how Quinn would get lost in Rachel's eyes, or how Rachel would always be sending glances when she thought the blonde wasn't looking; it made Santana's heart have a dull ache.
She wanted that, no, needed that.
Brittany was near the front of the bus, nose stuck in a textbook as her blue eyes ran over the lines. She could see Miranda trying to get her attention, earning an almost growl from Santana's throat. She shut her eyes and tried to picture she was somewhere else, somewhere warm and safe. She felt so cold, she had felt cold for so long.
Santana couldn't of been asleep more than a few seconds before she felt a warm body slip next to her, and a head resting on her chest, "Santana.."
Santana shuddered as she felt Brittany's warm breath wash over her ear. She wanted to lean into the girl, just enjoy the small moment she was being gifted. But she remembered Halloween, and that she wasn't ready to let go of.
It wasn't that late into the night, she had only had a few drinks to get her nerves under control. She wanted to be as sober as she could when she talked to Brittany. Which was becoming an issue seeing as the girl was clinging onto Arite like a safety blanket.
She was stood in the shadows of the living room, Santana knew that she most likely looked odd standing there staring across the room to where Brittany was dancing in front of Arite. Santana wondered what Brittany saw in him. Sure, she was sure Arite was a nice guy, but Brittany never had shown any attraction to males before, hell, she hadn't shown attraction to anyone but Santana.
But there she went, laugh, dancing, and hanging off the boy. And it was slowly crushing Santana to this point now; lying every down on the line and pleading for Brittany to want her as much as she wants her.
And she finally saw her chance, Brittany going to the back to get some fresh air. Like some spy tailing another spy, Santana followed after a few seconds. Her eyes meeting Artie's who just gave her a smug drunk smile. He was really lucky he was already in a wheelchair or she would put him in one with that fucking smug smile.
It didn't take that long to find Brittany alone in the backyard. The Ohio cold autumn wind nipping at them as they stood in the darkness. The blonde didn't seem surprised to feel Santana coming to stand next to her, "I really don't know how to do this."
Brittany was silent though, only turning slightly to look down. Expression neutral as Santana looked up to meet her eyes. Taking a breath to steady herself, "I..- I am not really good with the mushy things. You have always known that. After everything that has happened to me, I just find it easier to like how I am."
"I fail to see what you're trying to achieve with this conversation." Came Brittany's voice, rather clear and without that 'hazly' sound to it. Santana was the only person to ever hear her speak to that, and it usually meant Brittany was serious.
"Brittany, everytime I look at you, I feel this warm feeling spread through me. I thought it was just some passing sexual attraction. We have been connected to the hip for years. But even after we had sex all those times, it never got old, that feeling became stronger and stronger. Being with you in that way, gave me a high that can't be beat by anything." Santana knew she was starting to sound like Quinn with her grand romantic gestures, but Santana was hopelessly devoted to Brittany and it was past time she knew just how much she loved her.
"I realized that I am in love with my best friend and I want her back. But just not like how we had before, I want to give you flowers at random times. I want to go to the mall and take our pictures in that picture booth. I want to be with you. I want to be happy with you."
But before she could finish, Brittany just turned and left her standing there. Santana couldn't even form words as she saw Brittany heading right back into the house, leaving Santana alone out there.
Santana just dropped to the wet grass on her ass. She felt this extreme pain in her heart, like it was tearing forcefully. Tears started to spill from her eyes, she clenched her hand to her heart as she cried into the grass. So this is what 'I don't love you' feels like.
Santana gave Brittany a slight push, forcing the blonde off of her, though thankfully she didn't going spilling into the aisle, "No, you don't get to come back here and pretend we're fine."
Brittany sat back up and turned her body, so she was blocking the way out of the seat in case Santana tried to make a run for it.
Crystal blue met dark brown, Santana eyes flashed downwards, she hated this power Brittany had over her. Able to just look at her with that look and she would listen to whatever the blonde had to say.
"Can we just pretend until we get back to Lima?" The 'I miss you', was left unsaid from the rather serious sounding Brittany. She really hated when Brittany got that tone of voice, because she was the only other person that was allowed to hear it.
Santana felt a warm hand going to cup her cheek. She wanted to twist her neck, hiss at the girl and go sit somewhere else. She wanted to be strong and deny Brittany this, to deny herself this. To tell herself that she didn't need the girl and that the last month without wasn't terrible. But there was something so nice about Brittany's warm palm touching her again. She wanted to hit herself, crumbling this easily just by her touching her cheek.
But her need for Brittany outweighed any shame she felt for caving in.
"Fine." Santana tried her best to look like she didn't want to get her cuddle on with the blonde. But it only took a few seconds for her to shift and resting her head on Brittany's chest. Brittany running her hand through Santana's hair, undoing the ponytail allowing brown locks to flow freely.
She listened to as Brittany rambled on about some kind of Science breakthrough about AI. She tried her best to listen, knowing how excited Brittany got when it came to telling people about what she read in the Science Weekly.
Santana knew it was so wrong, to be giving in this easily to Brittany, to just pretend everything was normal and right between them. But half sitting down and half laying into Brittany's chest, the blonde's arms wrapped tightly around her, she never felt more loved and protected.
Quinn should've saw it coming really. Everything was just a glaring error in her mind, but she just shoved it away. She was just being paranoid. about Lauren and Mercedes, it was just a highschool rivalry, right?
Walking through the front doors of the school was the first sign that something very wrong. With Rachel and Santana flanking her, the school usually parted like the red sea before the three Cheerios. But instead they were just whispering and pointing at the three.
"Santana?" Quinn said offhandedly as they moved through the hallway, the students finally parting before the three. She called it her Quinn sense, when something was wrong. A slight buzzing noise near the back of her skull.
Rachel heard 'Lesbian?' 'Did you see the blog post?' being whispered as they passed by. A shiver ran down her back, this couldn't be good.
And as soon as they entered the auditorium, Bestie still made the football players practice with the Glee Club in the mornings. They found out pretty fast what was wrong. The Cheerios were gathered by themselves on the far edge if the auditorium, near the entrance. They were all positioned around a single person in the middle of the circle. Whom was Lauren,hands held up as Miranda stood with hands on her hips, "You did what?"
"I didn't know he was going to go this far. I just wanted.."
"Wanted to be on top." Brittany finished, standing next to Miranda.
Quinn arched a brow and cleared her throat. 16 perfect ponytailed heads snapped behind them to see their three Captains standing before them clearly very lost.
"What did Slappy do this time?" Santana asked from next to her, arms crossed over her chest as her brown eyes snapped to Lauren's.
"Wait, you guys haven't heard?" Miranda asked, pulling her phone from her pocket as she moved forward.
Quinn's breath hitched in her throat as she looked down at Miranda's phone. The first thing she saw was 'Faberry: Fabgay?' at the headline. If Quinn wasn't busy shaking she would of commented that Jacob was losing his touch when it came to titles.
But as she scrolled down on the phone her heart was almost beating out of her chest. So many pictures of her and Rachel trapped in an kiss. Oh God, she thought she was so smart. Hiding like how they were doing. But as she saw the pictures upon pictures there was no way she could just write it off as Jacob photoshopping. Some of these were a little too real.
She could feel Rachel almost stop breathing next to her. Quinn gave the phone back to Miranda, the girl giving her a smile, trying to show her that it didn't matter who she spent time with in between the sheets, "And fucking Lauren here knew everything, she was even helping him."
Quinn felt brain dead, just a steady silence. She should be planning some kind of counter attack, marching down the hall and actually killing Jacob in front of the school for spreading hers and Rachel's private life to the general public like that. She should be tearing into Lauren and beating her face into the ground.
She could already feel all the sneers and gay remarks coming from the less than savory groups of people at school. And not to mention the city itself once this gets out. Quinn needed the one thing to keep her grounded.
Quinn reached down with her right hand, trying to find Rachel's body, something to hold onto and to tell her that everything was going to be alright. But she found nothing, her fingers twisting into air. She twisted her body, eyes scanning for her girlfriend but only caught the door closing to the auditorium and Santana chasing after, "Berry! Come the fuck back here."
A dead cold started to set into her bones, something she hadn't felt since she was the real Head Bitch of this school. Rachel had just left her, all those quiet moments they shared flashed before her, all the promises of staying together. She gave herself to Rachel, like no other person before.
The blonde was sure she had tears running down her face, but she straightened her back and did what every Fabray did, "Find him."
As soon as Rachel saw the pictures she felt a death shiver run over her. Quinn was quiet, too quiet for her liking. Her heart started to clenched, she was always fearful of this moment, when their little paradise got found out and Quinn would run.
But if this was going to end, it was going because of Rachel. She refused to be left again by Quinn, so she did what she knew what was already coming. The small Diva started to move backwards until turning and running out of the auditorium, tears starting to run down her face.
She heard Santana rushing after her, god she was glad for her Cheerio training. She was fast before but now her legs carried her with a new found speed down the hallways. She didn't know where the was running too, Quinn always brought her to school.
She was finally cornered by Santana at the second story bathroom. The latino breathing hard as she slammed the door shut behind her. A few lingering underclassmen looked up with wide eyes at the two Cheerios.
"Get the fuck out." Santana screamed, the girls fleeing from the scene of what they assumed was a murder in progress. Of course the rumor quickly spread about trouble in Lesbian lover paradise.
Rachel stood there, sobs racking her body as she waited for Santana to start screaming at her. But instead she heard the lock flicking into place on the bathroom door and the girl sighing, "Rachel."
"She's going to leave me, I know it, Santana, I just know it. I am not going to be left behind like last time, no if this is going to end, it's because it's me doing it." Rachel was half talking to herself and towards Santana as she hugged herself.
Rachel broke down into a mess of sobs as she fell to the ground, holding herself as her body started to shake. She couldn't allow herself to be hurt by the blonde again, she refused to allow herself to be the one that ended up with the broken heart.
What a dumb thought, either way she was going to be forever broken.
Santana just sighed, and spoke softly as she wrapped her arms around Rachel, "Rachel, you're the one who just up and left. Quinn was trying to reach out for you."
"She's going to end it, Santana. And when she does…-Oh God..-" She fell into another mess of crying and sobbing.
Santana felt an urge to smack the girl across her face, knock some sense into her. Because Santana didn't know a lot, but she knew people quite well. Her blunt honesty was her trait, even with herself. She knew that the way Quinn and Rachel looked at each other was a way that people who have been happily married for years and years looked like. It was something that two high schoolers should not be feeling this early.
She instead, she just hugged the girl tighter to her and whispered that everything was going to be okay.
Santana couldn't help but to feel like she failed Quinn in some shape or form in that moment.
"I always knew you were gay, Fabray. Does she taste like berry?" Dave commented from his seat as Quinn marched down the aisle of the auditorium, Cheerios behind her.
Quinn's eyes snapped to the boy, whose smirk fell from his face. The look Quinn wore was something he hadn't seen since the days of Evil Quinn. Quinn stood with her hands on her hips, that smirk playing onto her features, looking like she was about to commit murder, "David, at least I can be honest about my sexuality."
Dave's face fell really fast, a panic look rushing across his features as he became deathly pale. His eyes met Quinn's that just said 'Fucking try me'. If Quinn was in a better place she would of never of made that comment to Dave, because she knew best how terrible it was to try and come out.
"What the fuck is she talking about?" Azimio spoke up from next to him, a few of the Offensive Line players nodding their heads in agreement.
"Nothing, Azimio. And leave Fabgay and Berry alone." Dave tried to cover it up, sneer coming back into place.
"Nah nah, she just called you gay, Dave. You going to take that?" Azimio turned to face David arms across his chest.
Dave looked in between the two groups. The Cheerios standing behind and around Quinn, while the Offensive line players starting at Dave.
"Or are you a faggot, Dave? Come on, don't let some high strung lesbian bit…-" And that's when Dave decided to finally pick a side. He didn't know what came over him in that one moment, he just felt an anger rushing through his veins, something so powerful he had never felt before. All the years of hating himself for feeling the way he did and seeing someone he thought was his friend about to lay into someone who was stronger to accept their feelings. David finally snapped.
His fist came flying forward, slamming into Azimio's face so hard that the large black boy stumbled backwards.
There was a few moments of silence, the rest of the football players looking over to see Dave holding a hand clenched into a fist, breathing hard as he stared down Azimio.
And then it just became an all out brawl between the football team. Azimio attacking Dave, the rest of the team going to pull the rest of the Offensive line from beating Dave, who just started swinging at everyone.
Finn was trying to pull Azimio off of David while taking elbows to the stomach. Mike was going toe to toe with the full back of the team. Sam was getting his shit kicked in by two linebackers near the front of the stage. Kurt and Tina were hiding underneath the seats trying to stay out of the way.
Hell, even the Cheerios joined into the all out brawl. Jumping onto players backs trying to hold them down as another footplayer would lay into them. She turned and saw Lauren hanging back, not looking to get involved into the brawl.
That anger she was supposed to feel when Miranda first told her that Lauren was behind it, suddenly came. She never felt this angry before, her hands shaking with anger as she marched towards the girl, "Quinn, please, I am so..-"
Quinn was having none of it, she charged at the girl, tackling her into one of the chairs and pinned her using her body. Her fists coming left and right as she slammed them into Lauren's face. She felt a stinging pain on her knuckles on both hands as she kept up the attack.
She could hear Lauren crying from out under her, begging for her to stop. She shifted slightly, allowing Lauren the chance she needed to throw Quinn off of her. The blonde was pushed but as Lauren tried to make a run for it, her hand shot out and gripped the girl by her ponytail pulling her roughly back.
She could hear Mr. Schue, Coach Sue and Beiste screaming in the background as they tried to break up the massive fight, but she was too busy gripping Lauren by the front of her Cheerio top. The girl's face black and red, bleeding from the blonde's attacks. Quinn could see the blood flowing downwards and staining the white material of the shirt.
Quinn breathed heavy, right hand balled into a fist and ready to start laying into her again. But something broke through Quinn's haze, seeing the girl beaten badly below her it reminded her of how her Father used to treat her Mother. Snapping into grand moments of the famous Fabray Anger and just beating into Judy over and over again.
She had become what she always hated. Quinn jumped from the girl like if she was on fire, Lauren just whispering how sorry she was as she moved into a small ball. Sitting on her ass, she watched in silence as the fight was broken up. She couldn't hear anything but a sharp ringing in her ears.
Her hands were shaking as she brought them up to look at them, knuckles bleeding badly from attacking her, and covered in sprays of blood from Lauren's face. What the hell did she just do?
Everything else became a haze, she felt Sue's voice near her ear and her arm wrapped around her shoulders as she guided her through the halls of the school.
She was still in the haze when the nurse wrapped her hands and knuckles from the beating, Sue still standing close to her. Telling her that everything was fine and that Lauren looked looked worse than she felt.
She just nodded dumbly while sitting in office. It was filled to the max with the Cheerio Team, the only reason they were all suspended was because they were the best time for the entire school, and most likely some level of blackmail Sue held over the man.
Quinn just nodded when Figgins explained that Lauren and her parents would not be pressing charges against Quinn for her assault. Most likely afraid of taking the Rich Oil Barons to court. Her Mother was called, but it went right to voicemail. The woman was on a plane to New York to oversee the buying of another smaller oil company into the Fabray business. She was to be gone for most of the month.
What hurt the most though, was that during all of it, she didn't see a sign of Rachel. She had half expected to see her very small flushed girlfriend charging up to her, ranting about what she did but worrying about her hands. And covering it in kisses. She closed her best and tried her best to picture Rachel as next to her.
But instead all she got was a fat and underpaid nurse mumbling to herself.
All three teams were sent home for the rest of the day. It was a suspension per say, but it gave everyone a chance to go and calm down from their tempers. Rachel and Santana were the only two that got kept out of the mess.
After cleaning up in the restroom, and heading back to the the teams just in time to see their Coaches start to try and break up the fight. She saw Quinn sitting on the ground near the front, staring at a bleeding Lauren in front of her.
She had to stop herself from rushing down there and tell Quinn she was still very much in love with her and she didn't care what Jacob said. But there was something so cold in Quinn's eyes, something she's never seen before.
Rachel had lost her, and it was all her fault. It was better this way then, it ended because Rachel wanted it.
That is what she wanted, right?
Quinn felt half dead as she tried to get to her car, but heard Sue's voice ringing out as she passed her office, "Q! In here, now."
The blonde felt half dead, from the dull pain in her heart and the stinging pain from her knuckles. She nodded and went into the Coach's office. She was silent as she took her seat, eyes staring downwards at the floor, something she never did, she always kept eye contact.
"Look at me, Quinn." Sue's voice was soft, so soft that Quinn was actually surprised. Eyes snapping upwards to see if it was actually even Coach sue she was speaking to.
Seeing her Coach looking at her with such worry in her eyes, Quinn broke again. Eyes dropping downwards as she started to break down again, "Shh..-shee just left me."
Sue had learned a few things over the years of being a teacher and as being the Coach of usually all female Cheerleader teams. She sighed and moved from her seat behind the desk, going to wrap her arm around the blonde's shoulders, "Shhhh, it's alright."
Quinn didn't know how long she sat there for. A Fabray never cried in front of other people, they never showed emotion, she remembered her Father telling her. But hearing Sue, someone in a weird way was a mother figure, telling her it was going to be alright gave her some hope.
Sue had heard about Rachel just up and leaving, she was a grown woman and it wasn't her place to play matchmaker. Sure, Quinn and Rachel looked like they had the chance to be something more, but looks could be devicing.
Across the school, Rachel was alone in the Glee Club room. Fingers dancing across the piano keys. She smiled a sad smile remembering all the duets her and Quinn sung while around the piano. And it was that thought she felt that sharp pain in her chest, so intense that it hurt her to breath. She was taking a few before Santana would come and find her so they could leave.
She saw a shadow in the doorway, a male, "Rachel, are you alright?"
Fucking, of course. The weasel, Jacob himself finally showed his face. She had heard Quinn had put an hit out on him, it was open season on one Jacob Israel. Rachel heard Quinn didn't even bother denying the facts. She didn't understand it, Quinn had made it obvious she didn't want her. But at this point, Rachel didn't know anymore. She should just go and fall into Quinn, hope she could forgive Rachel for what she did.
The Diva's finger pressed heavy on one of the keys, "Please, come in, Jacob."
She could hear his loud breathing from her spot near the doorway. She felt a shudder run down her spine, what this smart? Inviting him in like this, getting her alone.
Rachel, a lot of people, always got that vibe from Jacob, something that was off in his eyes. The way he saw things. It unsettled a lot of people, and here she was alone now.
"I apologize for running the story, but Mercedes came to me saying you two were together and started showing me all of these pictures…" He trailed off, taking a seat in the front row of the small blue chairs. He sounded remorseful even, something Rachel was not expecting.
She narrowed her eyes, "Mercedes was behind this all?"
"In part, I will not lie, I did the groundwork. But she found something...bad about me and I had no choice. You know that I wouldn't want to hurt you." Jacob tried to reason as he stood coming up behind him.
That was the furthest thing from truth, she could feel the creepiness coming off of Jacob in waves. And with every step he took closer to her she felt something very very wrong was about to happen.
He stood within breathing space now, "I am sure you wouldn't." Came Rachel's response, turning to face him, less than an arm's length away now.
But then, she heard another voice from the doorway and in that moment she couldn't be more glad to see Santana in her entire life, "Fuck off, Jacob before I beat your face in like how Quinn did to Lauren."
Jacob gave a frown, but was quick to turn and run from the room, Santana about to run after him and give her a piece of her mind, but Rachel brought her hand to Santana's shoulder, stopping her, "Just leave him be."
"Come on, Rachel, he deserves it." She was still very much wanting to chase him down, what he did to Quinn and Rachel aside, that boy gave her a very bad feeling.
"I think enough people has gotten their 'face beaten' in today." Rachel just sighed and went to grab her bag.
"Also, what the hell are you doing, Rachel." Santana moved around, blocking Rachel from walking to the door.
"Santana, I don't want to deal with this right now."
"Oh fuck off, Berry. Do you know why we're friends? Because we're painfully honest with each other." Santana stood with her hands on her hips, staring down at the smaller girl.
Rachel sighed and sat on the piano bench, hands clasped in her lap, eyes on the floor, "Right, Berry. I tried being all mushy with you in the restroom, but it was you that ran away. It was you that is ruining everything. And it's going to be up to you to fix this."
The Diva knew that Santana right, she could feel tears starting to spill from his her eyes as Santana kept on talking, "Oh don't turn the water sports on me. You fucking saw Quinn. This is worse than anytime during Freshmen year. This is some straight Father-type shit he drilled into her head."
Rachel looked up through her tears, not understanding, "What do you mean?"
"Rachel, Russell was fucking crazy. I only met him once and apparently a long time ago, he lost a friend or something and he was never the same. Quinn used to tell me how he would rant on and on about 'Fabray's do this', 'Fabray's do that'. She doesn't talk about it because he's gone. They're Oil Barons for God's sake."
"I understand that she's very wealthy…"
"You're not understanding, Rachel," Santana cut through again, "Quinn is expected to act a very certain way, to believe and think in a very certain way. It's like being in some old British Royal Family. Quinn, was never like that, I remember the first day of Freshmen year when you walked past us. She fucking stopped talking to stare at your ass."
Rachel's cheeks flushed red at the thought, "What should I do?" Perhaps, just perhaps, she was wrong.
"Ten steps ahead of you, Berry. Now come on, she's going to need her space for a bit." Santana grabbed her hand and started to drag her towards the the parking lot.
Quinn was a zombie for the following week. She didn't understand it, try as she might to at least pretend she was happy, she just fell deeper and deeper into this pit. The Glee Club and Cheerio practices became more and more tense as she could see Rachel trying to get her alone, most likely going to tell her that it was actually over.
She couldn't allow that. She wouldn't allow that. The further they dragged this out the longer they were still together. Her eyes were stuck on the piano during the entire practice, everyone throwing up ideas for what they should do for their setlist for Regionals.
Quinn turned her head slightly locking with the sight of Santana whispering something into Rachel's ear, causing her to giggle loudly. She felt that slow burning anger spiking up again, so much that she had to dig her fingernails into her forearm from doing something.
Her eyes glanced over towards Mercedes, she had heard the black girl had hand in everything, and while usually she would of jumped on her, screaming and yelling, she just didn't have the fight anymore. She this cold feeling that had sunk into her bones and refused to leave.
The bell rang, the Glee Club and Cheerios excited to get on with their friday. Quinn stayed in her spot, watching Santana and Rachel head out of the room, Santana shot her a look something akin to pity.
She was pulled out of her thoughts with Brittany sitting down next to her. The tall blonde rather quiet as she crossed her arms over her chest and stared forward also.
If there was one thing she could respect about Brittany, it was her ability to know when to speak and when not to speak. They stood there for well over 10 minutes in silence before Quinn finally spoke, "Hi Brittany."
"Hi Quinn." Though Brittany's voice wasn't her usual bubbling self. It was more calm and well, 'normal' sounding.
Quinn honestly didn't know what she was doing. When she went home she was stuck in her memories of her Father and Rachel, here at school she was surrounded by her smiling face and laughter.
She didn't know why she started speaking, but by the time she opened her mouth she knew it was a lost cause, "You know, I hate that piano."
"Why? It's a piano, Quinn." Brittany answered back, looking over at her with confused eyes.
"I know it's just a piano, Brittany. But it's…- it reminds me of her, y'know? All those love songs, love eyes. It just, it just physically hurts me looking at that and all the memories."
"It was only a short time…-"
"No, before we even started dating. Way back when I first joined Glee Club, seeing her sing up there, her eyes dancing, knowing that this is what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. It was something so amazing to see." Quinn said half to herself and to Brittany, eyes drawn on the piano.
"I am sure you're tired to talking about it, but what happened?
Quinn gave a small bitter laugh, "You're the first person to actually ask me what happened."
Brittany looked torn in between doing something, before finally she sighed and reached over wrapping her arms around Quinn and bringing her in close for a hug. It was the first time she's cried since it all first happened, and there was something very appealing about having a warm body to hold her.
Quinn's walls broke once more as she cried into Brittany's shoulder, "Shh..shhe just left me."
Judy made it a point when she called Quinn to check in everyday not to bring up what happened. It was easier that way, to just not talk about it. All the carefully constructed work between the two was just slowly falling apart again with silence.
"But the way she looks at you, Quinn." Brittany tried to reason as she ran a hand up and down the girl's back trying to smooth her as Quinn pressed her face harder against Brittany's neck.
"Apparently that didn't matter when I need her the most." Quinn mumbled as she leaned up from Brittany's arm, drying her eyes.
Brittany didn't answer right away, her eyes dancing over the room before falling onto one of the door ways. She could see, even with the lights off in the hall, a very small female figure standing there close to the wall, obviously listening in.
Figuring it was only Rachel, Brittany shrugged, "What happened, Quinn. You still haven't really explained it."
"I don't even know, Brittany. I reached over to grab her hand, to have something to hold onto, and she wasn't there. She ran from the room, and I haven't spoken to her since. The distance speaks a millions words."
"She gave you a second chance, didn't she?" Brittany commented after a number of long seconds of silence, eyes meeting the brown hidden in the shadows.
"What…?"
"With everything, she gave you a second chance. Why shouldn't you repay it." Brittany tore her eyes away from the brown ones and offered Quinn a full blown smile, "Now come on, we have Cheerio practice."
Quinn didn't have time to think about what Brittany said before she was being pulled out of the room.
It still felt weird for Rachel to be sitting in the passenger seat of Santana's Dodge Charger. She rode to school with Quinn because that was her girlfriend, and for whatever reason Santana took that spot of driving her around.
Santana didn't let on, but Rachel figured it had to do with Jacob. Ever since the news broke about Rachel and Quinn he had been following her around like a lost puppy. If a lost puppy had a look in his eye that was somewhere in between star crossed lover and 'I am going to wear your skin'.
She didn't say anything, but she was quite pleased to hear that Jacob was going to have to spend a number of days at home resting and healing after her was found with a broken in face in the parking lot. She was sure Quinn had a hand in that, while she disapproved of the violence, there was something about that boy that told her they should be doing far worse.
Rachel sighed as she rested her head against the cold glass of the window whatever she tried to do to get Quinn's attention was only met with a stone wall. Everytime she got the blonde girl alone, there was something so different in her eyes. All that warmth she had fought hard to pull out of her was, just a stoic stare.
Something she knew all well, the months after Quinn left she physically felt pain. If felt like if her heart had been torn out, she thought she was just being over dramatic, because, she even knew she was sometimes. She thought it would only be a passing thing after she left, but Quinn Lucy Fabray was someone that you didn't just block out.
In hindsight, she didn't know why she ran. There was this heart stopping feeling that spread through her at the thought of Quinn leaving her because of fear. But, now that she had time to clear her head, it was ironic that it was her own fear that drove them apart.
"Berry, are you even listening to me." Santana finally called out, leaning over while at a red light to shake Rachel on her shoulder.
"Yes, yes. Well no."
"I figured. You had that far away look in your eyes. You still haven't told me why you were almost late for Cheerios." Santana pulled onto Rachel's street, it had become rather common for the girls to spend their afternoons with each other.
She nodded dumbly as Santana spoke to her about something or another. She did love Santana, the latina girl was slowly becoming her best friend, but she wasn't Quinn, "I wanted to see something."
"Berry, I told you, checking out girls in the locker room is not okay unless they're into that type of shit." Santana flashed a grin as she pulled into the circle drive. Rachel was not surprised to not see her Father, ever since he had entered his race, he was now just a distant parental figure she saw once a week.
Rachel, in spite of everything, have a small giggle as she exited the car and opened the door. Roxie laid near the front door, head resting on her paws. The lack of her husky four legged friend was wearing down on the black lab as much as not having Quinn was onto Rachel.
Rachel leaned down and hugged the dog to her chest. The black lab burrowing her face into the human counterpart. She could hear Santana sighing in the background, "I don't know what's more sad, that dog or you."
Rachel glared up at Santana and opened her mouth to speak, before Santana shook her head, giving her a look to be silent, "Right listen up, Berry. I am getting sick and tired of you and Quinn doing this bullshit with each other."
"Santana.."
"Shut up." Santana gave her a pointed look, Roxie growling slightly, but Rachel just nudge the dog's head. Santana stood above her with her hands on her hips staring down at the girl.
"It is the Christmas Season and this dumb bullshit needs to change because every day you two just suffer along in silence the more and more Quinn is going to get trapped in herself."
"Santana.."
"New rule, you're going to sit there and be quiet as I talk." Santana was having none of Rachel's bullshit today. She was getting really tired of this game the two were playing, Rachel needed to understand what she did and get back to being gay with Quinn because these two were becoming as worst as her and Brittany.
Rachel just nodded her head slightly.
"It's the Christmas season and as Santana Claws, it's my favorite time of the year. I got a good feeling you and Quinn are going to be alone for Christmas Eve, and with that massive storm being talked about on the news, you will have the chance for an adorably gay setting."
"Santana, she's not going to let me in."
"Rachel, if you think Quinn still doesn't love you, then I am going to smack it into you. You're going to get her back and I am going to help you, tooth and nail. We have given her all the space she needs."
Rachel nodded, hugging Roxie to her as she remembered what happened earlier today, "I was going to try to get Quinn alone after Glee, but Brittany and her were talking. Quinn she looks so...broken."
Santana gave a small sigh and leaned down to wrap her arms around Rachel, "Hey hey, you'll fix it. Quinn would be dumb not to want you."
That little complaint made Rachel's heart beat a little faster and gave her hope that she still might be able to pull out of this.
It was late when Quinn finally arrived home, at least she knew that Winter was in full affect. They had been pretty much stuck in a permanent snow storm for most of the month and there was no signs of it letting up.
Judy still had not come home, explaining that the buying was taking much longer than expected and she might be in New York through the New Year. Quinn only gave a forced laugh and said it was alright. Not even her Mother wanted to be with her anymore. All far they came after Quinn came back was just now slipping away because it was all they knew.
The house was silent as she walked in, she could hear Maximus's paws on wood as he raced down the stairs, barking and jumping onto to Quinn as she locked the door behind her. Quinn, in spite of her crushing coldness setting into her bones, she smiled. Max was one of the only things that kept her going these days. He loved her unconditionally and always looked happy to see her.
Quinn didn't both to turn any of the lights off, the power had been on and off for the few days due to this storm front. Stumbling through the dark, she found where she left a lighter and a few candles, lighting them, she sighed and sat down onto the leather couch. Max's head resting in her lap, this was her life now, darkness and silence.
She knew somewhere deep inside of her there was a voice of reason yelling at her that she was allowing herself to be shoved down into this hole. Just like how she's done before when her feelings became too strong for Rachel over the course of the years.
It was becoming worse and worse as the days went on. She was always able to pull herself out of herself hatred, but here she sat, alone and in the dark. Her heart tearing apart slowly with each passing moment. She could feel her fingers twitching, her eyes falling onto the liquor cabinet across the room.
She would be lying to herself if she never felt the urge. Earning a twitch from her right hand, she had done it before a few times. Drinking to hide her feelings. It was easy for her,oil and booze ran through a Fabrey's veins.
Flashes of Rachel ran through her head. Her smile, the feel of her body pressed against hers. The way their bodies seemed to form just perfectly into each other, the feel of their hearts beating as one when they laid in afterglow. Quinn felt herself slipping further and further into that dark pit now.
She hated herself for it, but she stood. She wanted to punch herself as she took the first steps. She wanted to slam her head into a wall as she unlocked the cabinet door. But by the time the smoothness of the whiskey fell down her throat, all she could think if was large brown eyes staring into hers as she fell asleep and the sting of tears as she broke in the dark. Alone and cold.
AN: I am like, really really sick right now, so the chapter was kinda of short and died off at some points. The next chapter might be a bit until it comes out, just because it will be awhile until I am back up to writing without hacking out a lung.
I wanted to keep the angst going for a bit longer, something that I haven't really done yet in Fall Into Me. I realized that I somewhat made a Santana/Rachel undertone, or at least when I was writing it, I wondered to myself if they could get together. Have no fear, that's not happening, was just a thought that entered me.
One thing for sure though, we get to see two different view of highschool relationships; the 'We found this too early' Quinn and Rachel, and then the 'I know what this is, but I am not ready' of Santana and Brittany. So to make it clear, next chapter will be really Quinn and Rachel focused, with a bit of Santana and Brittany speaking. The latter not being all gay and happy.