AN: Another rather on the smaller side compared to my other chapters, but I only wanted to focus on a few events, namely Rachel and Quinn. Next chapter will be back to the longer lengths.
Sorry for the long wait, was pretty sick and now I am heading back to school again, so the next chapter might be another wait. Also, might be about time to get a Beta, so PM me if someone is up to that.
AN 2: I THINK I got all the mistakes, I don't know how I missed all of these. Expect during this week me going back again to check over everything. Hopefully I can bug one of my friends that knows of my writing life to read over and edit also.
Read and Review.
Rachel didn't know how she made it through the first hour, let around almost through the entire month of December. The hole Quinn left in heart and life was something so painfully that she still felt it in every moment of the day. In the reflection of her mirror as she got ready in the morning, half expecting to hear familiar feet on the stairs. In the empty spot on her bed, or the empty drawer in her dresser. Or the box in her closet of all Quinn's things.
It wasn't supposed to feel like this, it was supposed to go away. Quinn was to stop playing this dumb game with her so the two could just talk. As each day went by the divide got larger and larger between them. She didn't understand it, they weren't supposed to be like this. They should be wrapped up on her bed right now, Rachel's head resting on Quinn's chest as the blonde's fingers move up and down her.
But instead, Rachel was busy throwing a number of items into an overnight bag. It was Christmas Eve, her Father was at a dinner party in Columbus, he was supposed to be back tomorrow for Christmas, but she truthfully doubted it. All Hiram Berry cared about these days was how good he was doing in the election and what he planned to do in the future. Over spending time his teenager daughter who could really use her dad. With one leaving earlier that year and now without Quinn, she could feel herself slipping into that dark hole of depression.
She paused in her packing, and just forced a smile on her lips. If she learned one thing from all the years of bullying that if you it at all affect you then you were letting them win. The humor was not lost on her, that Quinn always seemed to be the center of all her heartache, past and present and she better believe future.
Rachel was really not sure if this would even work. Not to mention the massive snow storm was making the roads almost dangerous to dive on. She felt a shiver of worry run up her spine, what if this was all too late, and Quinn just slammed the door shut on her.
She had made it a point to watch her still very much girlfriend from afar. The pain in the hazel eyes that she fell in love with killed Rachel slowly. But Quinn wasn't helping in the situation at all, every time she did get her alone she just stared blankly back at Rachel. No matter what she said or tried to do Quinn just stared at her.
As Santana said, this called for more drastic measures to be taken before Quinn did something stupid to herself. That thought alone drove a nail into Rachel's heart; that was never to be allowed, fighting or not.
With the bag packed she leaned down to pet Roxie behind her ears before latching her leach to her collar. She was not going to leave Roxie here alone with this 'Storm of the Century' already hitting Ohio, she just hoped she didn't get strained out int the snow.
But while that thought scared her, the thought of not having Quinn to wake up to every morning sacred her any worse. She was done of this, she was going to get her girl back. And Rachel Berry always got what she wanted.
Quinn honestly barely knew what day it was anymore. She went through the motions at school, did her homework as she was supposed to do, and was the perfect Head Bitch everyone expected her to be.
No one could break through her; Rachel, Sue, Mr. Schu, Brittany, Santana, the list went on and on. No one seemed to get past the shell that Quinn had thrown herself into. She ran the Cheerios harder and harder during practice, until the point of dropping. She drank like a fish, even her own Mother didn't even care to come home for Christmas.
Quinn doubted the sale was even happening anymore, Judy just didn't know how to handle her. It was the Fabray way of dealing with things. The power was out in this side of town, the snow storm and strong winds took out the nearby power lines, leaving Quinn alone in the dark kitchen with a number of candles burning.
She had drank most of her Father's stores in the past week, finally coming off the high of all the liquor, she remembered that she had barely eaten today and was struggling to light the stove in the dark.
Quinn couldn't lie to herself that it felt good to finally get out from under the thumb of the booze. During this almost month long fall into depression, she thought drinking was going to make it better, but in fact, it just spun her closer and closer to that edge she never wanted to go back to.
Not to add, the now small voice in her head that was telling her that in all of this self pity she had drove Rachel even further away from her. But Rachel was the one that ran away from her, wasn't all of this her fault, shouldn't it be Rachel that was begging for forgiveness? But then why would Quinn not get this feeling out of her heart that she was just bad.
She gave up on trying to light the stove and dug through the pantry until she found a bag of cookies and went back to her spot on the couch. Hidden under the layers and layers of blankets, it was only then she allowed the first tears to slip out of her eyes.
By God she missed Rachel, her voice, her smile, her warmth, everything. She wished it was her right now that could be cuddled up against her and not the warmth of the blanket. She shoved another cookie into her mouth and tried her best to curl herself into a ball.
It was not until she felt Max's paw smacking into her face that she came out from under the blankets. The husky staring up at her curious eyes as he crooked his head. Quinn moved a hand out to rub and scratch behind his ears as his eyes just bore into Quinn's.
Quinn stared at her dog as he made a whining sound from his throat as he wacked his paw up and down on her nose.
"What, Max?" Quinn huffed out as she sat up , placing both legs on either side of the dog.
The husky just gave her a pointed look that told her, 'You know what, Mom.'
The blonde narrowed her eyes, "I really hate you sometimes."
Max just gave a happy bark as he leaned up to both paws onto her lap and pressed his head into her chest. Quinn just wrapped her arms around the dog and half dragged him onto the couch, while the dog did the rest.
The husky had become her best friend in the past few weeks ever since the Rachel issue started. With everyone wanting to talk about her and Rachel, her own Mother not knowing how to talk to her now. Which spoke to volumes about her mother when it came to being there when she needed her the most.
She just sighed and hugged herself closer to Max, trying to picture it was Rachel. The dog evening out his breath as he cuddled into his mother. Quinn finally allowed herself to cry for the first time since this had all happened. Her body shaking as Max whined into her hair and tried to lick her face.
It wasn't fair, it wasn't supposed to be like this. Right now they should of been sharing Christmas with each other, laughing and smiling, cooking. Lost in their perfect little world, the power might be out, and they would be snowed in for days most likely, but they had each other, and the house to themselves.
There was a voice in her head, that was slowly getting louder, screaming at her to get off her ass. It took a few moments of that voice of getting louder and louder, closer to her ear. But she felt her legs moving from under her, sitting first on the couch, before finally getting onto her feet.
It felt good, the past few weeks she had allowed her emotions to rule her life, to allow this depression to control her. She was Quinn fucking Fabray, and like hell she was going to allow this to control her. She might of been cut deeply by what Rachel did, but she couldn't let her go, all the promises they made, she meant them, and by God, she was going to keep them.
She allowed a smile to break across her features, something she had almost forgotten she could do, "Come on, Max. We're going to get our girls back."
She took two steps to find her shoes before there was single ring of the doorbell that echoed throughout the house, all Quinn could do was stare at it.
Santana sighed as she forced a smile to her Mother who was talking to her Aunt from across the room. The Lopez Family came from two very different walks of lives, with Santana parents meeting in Med-School, being the first people of their entire families to go to college and were highly successful in their private practices. But they never forgot where they came from, and unlike other rich Families, never allowed their money to get the better of them.
Even giving large sums of money to local charity groups and their Church to help better the local poor. Santana loved her parents and looked up to them in almost every way. It was times like this that she loved the fact that her parents were nothing like the Fabrays or now the Berrys as she has come to see. They might get into her personal life way too much and worry about every small thing she did, but she would rather have them over her friend's absent parents.
But there was times like these, surrounded by her family all asking questions about her life and this, that she really wished that her Mom didn't tell everyone about her school life.
"So what's this about your mom telling us about a new girlfriend?" Her Aunt smiled as she leaned in close next to Santana.
The fact that Santana actually liked girls was only known by a few members of the Family, with most of them being strict Catholics, it was hard enough for her to tell her parents, and harder on them to finally accept her for it. Her Mom's sister was one of the few people after her immediate family to know of it.
"Christ, sometimes I hate telling Mom things." Santana mumbled back as she sipped from her glass of eggnog.
Her Aunt made a tsking sound from her throat as she stared pointy at Santana, "Language, Santana"
Santana rolled her eyes and huffed, "She's just a friend, Auntie. Trust me, not my type."
"Whatever happened to that blonde girl? She used to be over here all the time." Her Aunt gave her a knowing look as they stood near the wall of the living room, the entire gathered families apparently trying to see who can talk the loudest.
"It's complicated." Was all that Santana mumbled out as she took a longer swig from her glass. At least her parents allowed her to drink like an adult when all the Family got together, granted she did that anyways, but what they don't know, won't hurt them.
"Why? Shouldn't love be simple? If you love someone be with them?" Her Aunt asked her.
Something snapped slightly in Santana, she was getting really sick and fucking tired of people assuming love was something this easy, that all you need to love someone and everything was going to be fine. No, there was a hell of a lot more to Love, "Is that why Uncle Tom is on his third wife. Or perhaps while Aunt Jill is drinking herself half way down that bottle because her highschool sweetheart is sleeping with his coworker."
Her Aunt seemed surprised by the pure venom dripping from Santana, but the girl wasn't done yet, "If love was so fucking easy, Auntie, then why isn't everyone in love. This isn't some fucking Disney movie where everything just falls into place perfectly. Did you know at 17 who you were going to marry and spend an entire life with?"
Her Aunt just stayed silent as she shook her head.
"I don't even know who I am, how the hell do I know who I want to marry or whatever." Santana just threw her hands up and marched off. She could feel her Aunt's eyes on her form as she slipped into the backyard buttoning up her jacket as she did so.
Sure, she loved Brittany, or well, liked her a lot. But she didn't want to just throw all her eggs into one basket. She had changed so much in the past few months, and she knew she would keep on changing for a while head of her.
All the thoughts of holding the blonde girl, allowing herself to open up did make her all warm inside, but she was terrified of it at the same time. She wasn't ready, not yet. She had to be honest with herself, during the past few weeks of hanging out with Rachel it opened her eyes up to a lot of things. This was highschool, not the end of their lives. While Quinn and Rachel were basically stuck with each other now, Santana was free to be who she wanted, she didn't have to follow her friend's example and just fall into Brittany.
And if she was truthfully honest, she needed this for herself. To explore other people, she was sure for there a bit she had a thing for Rachel. But as the days went by, she had found herself rather drawn to Miranda. The girl was funny, had a sharp sense of humor and didn't mind it that Santana was a bitch half of the time.
Rachel and Quinn can be Rachel and Quinn, but Santana was going to be Santana and if she still had these feelings for Brittany after everything's said and done, then well, shit.
Rachel was starting to shiver as she stood in front of Quinn's front door. How many times before she had just breezed through it, hanging up her coat on the rack right next to the door. Roxie racing down the wooden floor to go off and find her four legged friend. Quinn would appear from one of the many door ways or dark parts of the house, smile shining as she would give a peck to her lips or cheek.
But now she just stood staring at the door. It was easier when she was in the privacy of her home to talk a big game but now actually standing out here in a snowstorm, she was starting to have those doubts. What if Queen just slammed the door on her face, what if she just stared at her and wondered why the hell she was at her door on Christmas Eve.
Like Rachel wanted to be anywhere else.
Taking a long breath, she straightened her back and ringed the doorbell. She could hear Max barking from behind the door and scratching at the wood, as Roxie did the same.
Of course leave it to the dogs to be happy to see each other. She could hear footsteps on the other side of the door. A long pregnant pause, as both girls took a sharp breath to what was to come next.
Quinn couldn't help to smile, in spite of everything, the sight of her very small girlfriend, dressed to head to toe in jackets, scarfs and hats to keep warm from the cold. She allowed herself a very small moment to let her heart beat a little faster.
There was something about seeing Quinn not trying to look perfect. Well, she was always perfect to Rachel, but when she put a face on for everyone else at school there was a different Quinn. But the one standing before her could take her eyes off of Rachel, and that made her heart beat a little faster with hope.
The two were just standing there for a few moments, before the dog's barking became too loud as Rachel had to let go of Roxie's leash so she could run into the house and press her face into Max's.
"Hi." Came Rachel's soft response. She didn't know what she should say in this moment, she remembered everything that had transpired from her leaving to now. She had gone through a bit of depression where she thought it was only her fault, and it was. but a fight took two people, and try as she might to make it up for Quinn, the blonde girl gave her nothing in return.
Quinn seemed to be knocked out of her haze now at Rachel's soft words. All that gentle love from a few moments before seemed to slip away as it was replaced with anger. She just gave a sigh, she was tired of being angry. She would hear Rachel's apology, accept it, and they can get back to being in love.
She was silent as she motioned for Rachel to step inside, shutting the door behind her, "Your power is out too?" Rachel asked as she tried to make small talk.
"Yeah, been going in and out. Hope it doesn't ruin the mood." The words were out of Quinn's mouth before she could think, stopping dead in her tracks.
Rachel's eyes danced with glee for a moment as she gave a half smile, "The mood?"
"For when you apologize to me."
Quinn really wanted to slap herself when she saw the smile drop from Rachel's face as soon as the words were out of her mouth. Quinn didn't understand it, that was the issue here, it was Rachel's fault that all of this happened, it should be Rachel here begging for the blonde's forgiveness.
"Shall I get on my knees and start begging then." Rachel was middle of taking her jacket off before going to slip it back onto her shoulders. This moment right here was when their relationship either ended and failed due to their pride, or was the moment Quinn realized that perhaps, she was just as wrong as Rachel.
Quinn licked her lips as the tense silence set in between the two once more. That small voice in the back of her head came back once more. Screaming at her not to ruin this one chance to get everything right again, to set her pride aside for one goddamn moment before it ruined everything else.
The blonde just threw up her hands and stalked into the house. Rachel right on her heels, throwing her thick outer jacket onto the hooks next to the door, "Oh no you don't get to walk away from me."
"Ah! Rather ironic, isn't it?" Quinn shot back as she walked into the kitchen, eyes searching for any kind of booze to get this conversation out of the way.
Rachel's eyes narrowed, feeling a stab of hurt rise up through her. Well, she deserved that one, she could admit to herself. But as soon as they entered the kitchen and the intense smile of empty alcohol bottle hit her senses, she frowned really hard.
Stepping up to behind Quinn, she gripped hard onto her elbow and twisted her around to face her, "Have you drunk all of this?" While her voice was hard and almost flicking into full blown anger, her eyes were soft as she was actually worried about Quinn.
The smart remark that she was going to throw out caught in her throat for a moment before sneering, "Why do you care? You left." Was all she could get out, her stomach growing as she just looked torn to which corner of the room to run to. She hated herself to going back to using pity but she was cowardly under the intense glare of Rachel.
"Yes, I left Quinn. I turn around and ran away. But I came back, Santana brought me back, and when I tried to talk to you remember what was happening? You were too busy beating up Lauren."
"She deserved it for what she did to us!" Quinn jabbed her finger into Rachel's chest.
"No, you were angry on what she did to you because at the end of the day, you only care about your pride. It was your pride that made you attack her, it was your pride that has kept us apart. I have been trying to talk to you Quinn, but all I get is silence." Rachel fired back, she was never one to be thrown around in an argument, stepping up inside of Quinn's personal space.
That one was a hard blow to take. She even physically stumbled back a few feet, resting against the counter of the kitchen. Had she really been that stuck in her self pity? It was one thing telling yourself you're doing wrong and then another to have someone you care deeply for be so blunt with the truth. She remembered all the looks from Rachel, all the attempts to talk to her to just see if she was okay.
Rachel didn't let up though, stepping after her, "Oh yes. The grand and great Quinn Fabray has her head so stuck far up her ass that she too forgets that there is another person in this relationship. Who just want to have their girlfriend back."
The small girl was breathing heavily as her eyes stared up into Quinn's. Quinn's eyes on her, and there was no need for words in that one moment. That was what was so special about their relationship, that in times of the most grand need, they could talk only with their eyes and the other would know what they were feeling.
Quinn couldn't help but to wrap her arms around Rachel and bring her in close to her chest. Their hugs were always something special, being the perfect height that Rachel just needed to lean up slightly to place her chin on the blonde's shoulder.
But right now, Rachel's small little hands fisted the front of Quinn's shirt as she cried freely into Quinn's chest. They should be yelling, they should be screaming, they should be talking, but all she could do was cry and cry. It felt so good to be back in Quinn's arms, to smell her strawberry body soap, oh God, she could already picture those lips moving against hers again.
Quinn dropped her head into Rachel's head, taking a long sniff of the familiar vanilla as she tried her best to stop her tears, "I am so sorry, Rachel."
Rachel fisted Quinn's shirt harder and brought her closer to her if that was even possible. Nodding her head against Quinn's chest. She rested her cheek over Quinn's heart, shutting her eyes softly. Quinn couldn't help but to silence herself. The pair listened to as their hearts slowed and started to beat together.
Neither girl knew how long they stood there holding each other and listening to their heart beats, but Rachel's legs were starting to hurt from the standing. Moving her face away, her breath caught in her throat as Quinn's hand came down to cup her cheek and to wipe away her tears, "I shouldn't be the one causing them."
Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but Quinn stopped her, "No, no, you have spoken enough, it's my turn now."
Rachel gave a small nod, Quinn's eyes focusing as her fingers moved up and down the curve of her cheek, "I was hurt at what you did, when I needed you at the most you left."
"Quinn, you know how sorry I am, but.."
Quinn just gave her a pointed look but didn't stop in outlining every curve of her face, "I think..I think the issue is because you haven't let go of what happened all those months ago. It's easier just to get stuck in the anger, and start blaming each other for every little thing."
A look of hurt flashed across her features, but she gave a small sigh and shut her eyes, "And when did you get so smart, Quinn?"
"All it takes is looking at my girlfriend to remind me of everything."
Rachel gave a small breathless sigh, Quinn always had a way with words that woo'd her, but she needed to remain on point, "I forgave you, Quinn."
Quinn just gave her a pointed look, "As much as I have forgiven you for for what you did? Face it, Rachel, we're both spiteful and egoistic people."
"I prefer to call it confident." Came Rachel's small voice, her eyes fluttering open to stare into Quinn's.
There was a silence that set in between them once more as they both tried to figure out what to say, "I guess this is the moment, we really think if we want to continue this or just end it before we keep on hurting each other.."
It killed Quinn to say it, and she could feel a deep pain settling in her heart and chest, but she had to offer it. There was nothing she could do if Rachel didn't want to stay. She had thought about it a lot in the past few weeks, being away from Rachel, if she wanted to even try to fix this and be together.
In the end, Rachel made her a better person. But there was a lot to a relationship than love, that was for sure.
The words from Quinn stung deep into Rachel's chest, almost crying as she whispered, "You don't want me?"
Rachel was surprised to hear a giggle and then the soft brushing of Quinn's lips against hers. It was just a simply brushing of the lips, much like their first kiss, as if afraid of hurting the other. Something so gentle, that was what she was missing the most, Rachel thought as she moved her hands up to run through Quinn's blonde locks. The smaller girl felt herself being twisted around with her back being pressed into the counter of the kitchen.
What started at a simple kiss changed as soon as Quinn moved to break their lips to speak, but was silenced when Rachel pushed herself up and into Quinn's arms. They could talk later, both of them needed this right now. To remind each other, that even with all the doubt and issues, they were meant for each other, just didn't mean it was going to be easy.
Quinn's hands dipped downwards and fully clasped Rachel's ass into her hands, giving a hard squeeze that caused Rachel to whimper slightly. She loved when Quinn was gentle with her, never wanting to hurt her, but in times like this where she lost herself to her passion, it wanted Rachel to bring out that side of Quinn more.
Rachel's fingers pulled hard into Quinn's hair that drove the blonde girl crazy, almost growling from the pit of her throat, she easily picked up Rachel and placed her up on the counter in front of her. Rachel was not given much of a chance to think before Quinn's lips dipped downwards to her chin and then jaw. Fingertips digging into the material of the athletic leggings she wore, "How could I not want you?"
Rachel placed her hands onto Quinn's shoulders as the blonde's mouth bite down hard onto her neck, causing the girl to whimper, "Quinn…"
Quinn looked up from her spot near Rachel's neck, breath coming out hard as she looked up with dark lustful eyes. A small smirk on her features, the reason why they were just talking about had both left their minds for the moment, "We're not doing this here."
Quinn arched a brow, her right hand slipping in between Rachel's legs, digging her nails through the material of the leggings. Rachel shit her legs swiftly, whining loudly, "Quinnnnn."
The blonde only stepped close to the girl, leaning over to gently press her lips to hers as her fingers met the center in between her legs. She honestly wondered if Rachel bought these extra thin leggings just so Quinn could finger her through them, because as soon as her fingers started to rub hard against her pussy through the material Rachel threw her head back and moaned loudly.
It had been much too long since they had enjoyed each other like this, and when Quinn's hand moved up to slip under the helm of her pants, all thoughts of saying no was gone. Plus the look of pure need in Quinn's eyes told Rachel she didn't had a chance.
Rachel moved her head down to rest into the crook of Quinn's neck as she whispered into her ear, "I love you so much." She said in between peppering kisses along Quinn's ear.
Quinn gave a small breathless moan as she wrapped her left arm around Rachel's waist, it was an odd position and but neither girl seemed to care as the two got lost in each other. Her right hand slipping two fingers inside of Rachel and curling upwards hitting that spot deep inside of the girl.
"I missed you so much, I am so sorry, Rachel." Quinn whispered back as she curled her head and shoved it into her hair. She felt Rachel's hand grip tighter in her hair, as tears threaten to fall, but never stopping in her slow building fucking of Rachel's hole.
Rachel was beyond the point of words at this point, coming close to her finish already, she could remember all the nights of lying in bed, hands in between her legs picturing it was Quinn instead. It felt so great to have the real thing back in her, because no matter how she tried, her small little fingers couldn't do the same thing than Quinn's could do.
"Qu...Quinn, please." Rachel whined as Quinn was still teasing her. fingers slowly moving and and out, almost lazily.
Tonight though was not about the teasing, tonight was recovering what they lost all those weeks ago, and if they were both honest with themselves finally let go of their past to start their futures, together.
Quinn swiftly picked up the pace, her fingers digging in and out of Rachel's dripping and glistening center. She was already too worked up from the weeks apart. Laying in bed late at night picturing it was Quinn inside of her wasn't the same of having the real thing in her.
Rachel pressed her forehead to Quinn's and opened her eyes, wanting to stare into pools of haze, something she missed so much. It was moments like this, when they both let their guards and walls down, that they truly say how far this ran.
Having sex with someone meant more to them than just pleasure. Granted Quinn's first time had been a mistake, and Rachel swore every time until the end will be better than the last. But to Rachel and Quinn, it was one of the highest levels of trust, though Rachel might act confident and act like she takes pride in her body, it was rather the opposite.
The thought of being alone and naked with someone had scared Rachel to the core until she finally allowed it to happen. It was also the reason why she had the rule of 'no sex until she's 25' in hopes she would be able to do it once she grew out of her shell.
But now with Quinn, she actually couldn't tell herself no when it came to jumping Quinn's bones, even when they were apart, there was a few times she had to resist the urge to just drag her into a room and solve this a more direct way.
Rachel gave out a small moan when Quinn tried to slip a third finger into Rachel, pressing her lips to Rachel's as she did so. The blonde pressed their foreheads together as Rachel dropped from the kiss, torn between shutting her eyes or keeping them on Quinn's.
the small diva was already too worked up from just the thought of having Quinn inside of her and in a short few minutes of Quinn pumping in and out of her, the kitchen becoming filled of moans and groans, Rachel was coming close to her end.
Wrapping her legs tight around Quinn's body, Rachel's voice was almost a whisper and breathless as she whispered, "I..I a..am so close, Quinn."
Quinn leaned over to gently take Rachel's earlobe into her mouth, as she drilled her fingers in harder and harder, "Cum for me, please, Rachel."
That was all it took, hazel mixing with brown in that moment as Rachel clenched hard around Quinn's fingers, her mouth forming into a perfect 'O' as she gave out a silent moan. Her bangs starting to stick to her forehead, she dropped her head into the crook of Quinn's neck.
The room had become heavy with the smell of sex, sweat and cum now, as Quinn popped her fingers out of Rachel and wiped them across her shirt, not caring it might leave a stain. She reached over to gently take Rachel's chin into her hand and kiss her lips.
Rachel melted into the embrace before she wrapped both her legs and arms around Quinn, "I want to cuddle."
Quinn held back from commenting that they still really needed to talk, but she knew better than to argue with her girlfriend at the current moment. So instead she gathered Rachel into her arms and headed to the living room.
Most of Santana's Family had finally left, news quickly spread about Santana storming off, most of her Family staying away from her figuring she was having relationship issues, instead she was having a rather nice time.
It felt good to not have to worry about if Brittany was the love of her life and a future. She could just live in the now, basically,while Quinn and Rachel are warning about what colors are going to be at their wedding, good old Santana could just sit there and drink a beer.
Call her a child at heart, but she always made it point to try and stay up all night on Christmas Eve. Right on the couch in front of the fireplace, she started doing it when she was 8 and it was just something that always stuck.
So here she sat, damn near midnight sat in front of the dimming fireplace with a blanket over her shoulders. There was a bit of good luck and it had stopped snowing for the past few hours, enough to actually see cars out on the street again, most likely off to go and see if their love ones were still alive.
But, hell, at least they had enough eggnog to feed a family for a year. Speaking of which, Santana took an extra long sip of her drink. Her parents and little sister was already fast asleep allowing her free reign over the left over booze from their Christmas party, something she wasn't going to pass up likely.
She was laying back with her eyes shut, listening to the soft crack of the fire when she felt her phone buzz from under the layers of blankets. She peeped an eye open but decided to ignore it, it was probably just Berry telling her how her and Quinn were the apex gay couple again and she was the Best Man/Maid of Honor or whatever lesbians do.
She was bringing the glass up to her lips again when it started to ring, and no matter how many times she just reached under the blankets to silence the call, whoever it was really needed her attention.
Figuring now it could be something actually bad, Santana finally glanced down at the phone and felt her heart stop, the caller ID saying 'Brittany.' Fucking of course.
It was then she heard a single sharp knock on her door, thankfully her parents were dead asleep. Sighing, she had a feeling what was going to come next, telling Brittany 'No' was something she was never good at, but she needed to do this.
Hugging the blanket closer around her she walked over towards the door, standing on her doorstep bundled under a few thick layers was the familiar piercing blue eyes of Brittany.
The blonde haired girl smiled, and Santana couldn't help but to return it, there was some about Brittany's smiles that made even the coldest person return them. She was wordless as she motioned for Brittany to come inside, it felt odd, how many times before had she had just brushed past Santana talking about this or that, and all the latina would do was nod and smile.
It felt dirty, she needed to tell Brittany she couldn't just string her along like this, pretending everything was fine. It might be viewed as rude and short sided, but she had to be blunt as possible.
"Brittany, I..- we..-" Santana mumbled as she tried her best to find her words, standing there in the middle of her living room, Brittany looking at her with a confused look on her face as Santana stumbled over her words.
"What is it, Satana?" God dammit, Santana hated when Brittany's voice got the clear and soft.
Santana took a breath to steady herself, she thought about closing her eyes and just letting it loose, but no, she held enough respect for Brittany to look into her eyes as she did it. So she gathered her courage and stared into crystal blue orbs, "I don't think we should do this. You're with Arite, and I want to explore…- my options."
Brittany brow arched, "I broke up with him earlier today."
Santana almost wanted to cry, how long had she wished for Brittany to do that in the past two months so they could go back to what they head; some halfway in between relationship. But no, no more half measures, "The last part still stands."
She always knew Brittany was much more intelligent than she put forth. Blue eyes were racing a mile a second as the blonde girl spoke, voice cracking slightly, "Who? I..is it Rachel?"
Santana, in spite of everything, really just wanted to laugh. It seems everyone just wants the two together. But she kept the same neutral look on her face and shook her head, "No, Brittany. It's not that, and for God's sake, it's not her."
Brittany took a small step forward, a puzzled look but also a smile on her face, "But Santana, we're meant to be together, just like Quinn and Rachel."
Santana sighed, grabbing hold onto Brittany's hands and clutching them to hers, "Brittany, we're in highschool, I don't even know what I want to do with my life let alone who I want to spend the rest of my life with."
"To think you're going to know what to do with the rest of your life by the time you finish high school is a pressure brought onto us by the State Education system and a gross use of tax funds." Brittany just explained as she bore down into Santana's eyes, "But when I look at you Santana, I know you're the one I am meant to be with."
Santana had to resist doing something dumb so she just licked her lips. There was something hot about the way Brittany spoke all high and mighty, but attraction did not equal a functional relationship, "If that's true then, Brittany. You'll let me go and figure myself out. Not to mention that you were with Artie for how long even though you're so sure of yourself that we're meant to be together. Who is lying to who now?"
Brittany's smile drop as it fell into a frown. They were still almost whispering, but their words cut deeply into the other. Santana could see the hurt flashing across Brittany's face, drawing back as if Santana had slapped her.
She snapped away from Santana, her hand dipping into under the layers and pulling out a wrapped gift, "I wanted to give you this before Christmas, so it could be the first present you opened."
Santana felt like crying in that moment, it wasn't easy telling someone that you did have feelings for to just leave. But Santana needed to figure herself out, and at the end of it all, if that still had Brittany in it, then it was actually meant to be.
Brittany passed the present into Santana's hands, "Open it, I wanted to see your face when you did it." Her voice was so cold that it twisted a dagger into Santana's heart.
She carefully undid the wrapping, slipping out a large bounded book. Raising a brow at Brittany, she opened up and started to flip through it. It was a scrap book, pictures of the two girls throughout the years together in a number of different places and positions. The latest being Brittany and Santana cuddling while on the bus back from the Cheerio's sectionals.
She was making this really hard to say no, Santana could feel Brittany's hands coming to rest on her hips, drawing her into the taller girl's form. Warm and minty breath fell over her face as Brittany let down to press their foreheads together. She had to taken back command of the situation, she couldn't let herself to keep hurting herself and Brittany.
"Leave." Was all Santana whispered out, her eyes opening to meet burning blue. Brittany didn't move, only staring at her, causing the smaller girl to tear herself out of Brittany's arms, hugging the book to her chest.
"If you love me like you think you do, you'll let me go find who I want to be." Santana couldn't bear it looking into Brittany's eyes as she saw them breaking before her.
The blonde just took a sharp breath, and by the time Santana looked up again the blonde was gone. Still hugging to the book to her chest she fell to the ground crying. The first one always hurt the most when you let it go.
It was moments like these that Rachel loved the most. There was something so wonderfully amazing when she rested into Quinn's arms. Her cheek resting into the crook of Quinn's neck, the blonde's arm wrapped around her shoulders bringing her close. Rachel always made it a point to tease her fingers up and down Quinn's harden abs muscles.
She didn't know how long they had been laying there on the couch, it seemed Quinn had been living there for the past few days with the blankets thrown about. After their coupling in the kitchen, she needed some quiet time.
Though Rachel might not show it all the time, she was quite the aware little mouse. She noticed the smell coming from the blankets, and she could see that Russell's liquor cabinet had a noticeable dent in it. She could feel tears starting to form behind her eyes, causing her to bury her face into Quinn's chest. Remembering the smell from the Kitchen when she first walked in, and then everything they were meant to be talking about came crushing down on her.
Quinn, who like Rachel was in a half stage of bliss, snapped from it quickly when she saw her girlfriend struggling to keep tears back. Wrapping her arm tighter around her, she pressed her face into Rachel's hair trying to smooth her.
"Why are you crying?" Quinn whispered out as she ran a hand down and up over the curve of Rachel's back.
For a few passing minutes, Quinn held Rachel to her tight and smoothed her as Rachel broke down. It was her had gone and left, it was her that had went and drove Quinn into a spiral of depression. She still didn't have a single idea why she did it, it was a gut reaction to flee, when her gut reaction should of to just hold tight onto Quinn.
Quinn didn't quite know what was wrong with her girlfriend, but with everything that has happened in the past few weeks, she could make a good guess, "Don't go beating yourself up. We both messed up, Rachel."
Rachel burrowed herself into Quinn, her small voice coming out, "If something had happened to you, I don't know what I would of done."
Quinn didn't understand it, for weeks she just kept on spiraling down and down, but now as soon as Rachel was back, everything was grand and good again. She should be blaming Rachel for causing it, but she knew deep down that was untrue, it was herself that had allowed herself to slip after everything she's been through in the past few years.
But before she could speak, Rachel was shifting and straddling Quinn's lap, staring down at her, and gently taking Quinn's face into her hands, "You have to promise me to never do this again if we have a big fight. You are to come straight to my house and even if I am being difficult just tell me you love me."
Quinn gave a small sigh but allowing a small smile to come to her features, "Even if you locked yourself into the bathroom?"
"Quinn, I am serious."
The blonde girl reached up to press a kiss to her lips, "I promise, and you have to promise not to freak out and leave after every small thing happens. People are not going to really like the idea of two girls dating each other openly."
There was a flash of hurt, but Rachel nodded. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to Quinn's lips before settling back into her arms. Taking a glance over at the clock though, she shot back up, stumbling off the couch, "It's almost midnight!"
Quinn gave a small groan of pain when Rachel's foot rammed into her stomach as she dropped off, "Yeah?"
"I almost forgot." Rachel started to dig through her overnight bag, as Quinn moved to sit up on the couch, drawing her blanket closer to her. The smaller girl finally dug out a small wrapped present finished with a bow.
Quinn's heart sank, she had bought Rachel something weeks ago when her and her Mother went shopping, but it was a dumb little thing she found at one of the shops off of main street. Rachel bounced happily back over towards Quinn and sat down into her lap, pressing the small box in between their bodies.
"I saw this and thought of you." Was all Rachel said before she handed it over.
Raising a brow, Quinn pressed a small kiss to Rachel's hand before taking the box. It was small enough to be a jewelry box and shaking it bit told her that it probably was.
She tore into the wrapping like a small child on christmas. Fingers running over the blue material of the box, the name Tiffany's written across this. Her eyes jumped up to Rachel's, about to launch into how much money this was. But Rachel only gave her a look to be quiet and enjoy the gift.
Opening the small box, she gasped at the bracelet laying on a black velvet blanket. It looked to either be silver or white gold, rather simple in design with a small little heart connected to the chain. She saw Rachel's small little fingers going to pluck it up and to clasp it onto Quinn's right wrist.
"I had to call to have it specialty made, in fact. I wanted to do something really special for our first Christmas, so I went a little far out." Rachel clasped the lock over Quinn's wrist and leaned down to press a kiss to it.
Quinn brought her hand up to inspect it in the light, she was surprised to find that the little heart was actually engraved with a small 'R & Q'. Her parents and relatives had always thrown money at her on the holidays, really they always threw money at each other, but it coming from Rachel made her heart beat a whole lot faster.
Rachel was studying her, worrying that she had gone a little too bit overboard, The past few months have been a case of 'If it's not one thing it's another', but she wanted to do something special to make up for enough drama to last a lifetime.
Quinn was busy rubbing the material of the heart with her thumb and index finger of her other hand and looking up at Rachel from long eyelashes. Before leaning up to gently press a kiss to Rachel's lips, "Makes me gift look like child's play."
Rachel's eyes lite up when Quinn pulled away, "You got me something?"
Quinn motioned for Rachel to roll off of her, "Let me go get it, it's not wrapped." She disappeared up the stairs and a short time later came back down holding something behind her back. Standing in front of Rachel who was bouncing up and down on the couch, she gave a small sigh.
"I got this just as a small thing I saw before my Mom left for New York. I was going to get a few other things, but…-" Quinn trailed off, looking a mix of ashamed and tired of this all.
"Forgot about what happened, Quinn. We're stronger because of it." Rachel gave a small little nod. A warm feeling spread through her heart and body, Rachel always had a way of sounding so sure of herself that drove Quinn further than she thought.
Moving the item to in front of her body, Rachel's eyes went large. It was a snow globe of all things, but it was inside of it that caught her eye. A small copy of New York City, there was even a Broadway Sign, "I saw it in that one store on Main Street. So when you lose track of why you're taking all AP classes plus dancing classes and God knows what else you're going to take on, you can shake this and remember your dream."
Rachel was silent as her eyes were glued to the snow globe. Passing it into Rachel's hands, Quinn watched with worried eyes as Rachel shaked the globe, "I am sorry, Rachel, I really wasn't thinking about if I should get you more or not. It's just a dumb little thing and you got me something probably worth.."
Quinn was silenced by Rachel leaned up to press a rather gentle kiss to her lips. She could feel the globe being pressed against their bodies and then Rachel pulling back to whisper, "Every Time I'll look at it, I'll think of my future; you and New York."
Also one thing I noticed was the huge amount of drama that has happened in a short amount of time. So the next bit of chapters is going to be rather light heart.
There shall also be the return of the best side characters; Sue, Will, Shelby, and now throwing in Beiste. Next few chapters will be centered about the greatest thing ever; Highschool football. And whatever else normal highschoolers do.