Hey guys! So sorry I didn't upload last week, it was midterms week and was studying my butt off. But i managed to write little parts to the chapter and I went a little overboard I think lol. Hope you like it :) Songs: Jealous by Labrinth. The version I felt Rachel would sing it in is Jealous by Matt Woods. You guys can listen to whatever version you like :). Other song: Dancing on my own by Calum Scott. Its a slower version.
The next morning Rachel wakes up with a massive headache, she tries to figure out where she is and realizes that she's in Santana's room. She turns to her left to see Santana fast asleep. She quietly gets up, trying not to wake up Santana. She manages to put her shoes and jacket on without making a sound. She quickly writes a "Thank You" for Santana on a paper and places it on the pillow next to her.
She makes it outside the hotel releasing her breathe. She didn't mean to end up here last night, but she really had no idea where to go. She's heartbroken and completely lost at this point. She never thought she would experience a pain like this. Its as if Quinn had dug deep into her chest, ripping her heart out and stepping on it multiple times. 6 months ago she had the love her life right in front of her and now she is living her life with someone else. In this moment Quinn is probably on her honeymoon with Biff. And Rachel is walking to her office broken. How was this even fair?
Rachel arrived to her office somewhat around noon, she really didn't want to go and receive the pity looks from her friends at the office. She imagined that everyone most have known already about her no being invited to Quinn's wedding. Anyone with a brain could put two and two together.
The minute the elevator doors open she was bombard with a loud talking Kurt. "I didn't expect to see you her today, Your father wants to see you, Puck wants to talk to you! We have to get you ready for the Gala tonight."
"Kurt shut up!" Rachel said reaching her office. "What Gala?"
"Your father ordered for a Gala to happen tonight. He really didn't explain a lot he just wanted to make sure you would be there. I promised you were."
"Right. I'll figure it all out. What about daddy?"
"He's still in Paris, last minute fashion show. He won't be here until Tuesday."
"Okay. Wait, why are you here? You're not even my assistant, where's Tina?"
"Tina is on a run with Blaine to make sure everything goes good tonight. She asked me to come see if you would come in. I went to your house, you weren't there. Santana said you left her house…"
"Wait you talked to Santana?" Rachel said looking at Kurt.
"Well um, I well yeah."
"Are you guys talking to each other to find out what I'm feeling and then make a big report on how to help me?"
"Wait what no! We are worried about you!" Kurt said closing the office door.
"Please don't. I don't need you guys to worry about me. I'm fine I'll be fine." Rachel said walking to her liquor table
"Yeah you'll be fine drinking yourself into oblivion to forget the pain or any memory you don't want to remember."
Rachel slammed her hands on the table and turned to face Kurt. "Tell me Kurt! Tell me another way to forget!?"
"Rachel…."
"You can't. You have no idea what I'm going through. You will never understand. The love of your life didn't leave you. He's not married to someone else! He didn't break you heart, she didn't make you believe that maybe somewhere in this screwed up world there was a future for you two. she didn't make you fall in love just to step all over your heart like it didn't mean anything. When you feel what I feel come and tell me another way to forget. If not then don't worry I'll be fine." Rachel turned to leave the her office.
She walked down the hall to the private studio the office had. The was her quiet place, she loved coming here when she needed an escape for her work. She's been working at her father's company for almost 3 years. He asked her to work with him not because he thought she was good, but because her daddy wanted her to be apart of the family business.
When her father was in his late 20's he formed a record company with her daddy LeRoy in Lima, Ohio. Rachel was about 9 years old when her fathers started spending so much time investing with other companies. After a few years the company expanded and they became one of the west coast best music industry. Rachel and her father Hiram never really got along, when she was getting adopted they believed she was going to be a boy. She was born with a penis, the doctors didn't have an explanation for why this had accord. They did explain that Rachel was intersex. Her daddy Leroy accepted it and loved her no matter what, but her father Hiram took sometime to come to terms with it. Their relationship had alway been rocky.
Rachel walked into the room all the way to the piano that was at the corner. She sat down at on the bench and softly touched the keys, playing any random note. She sighed. It had been a while since she had played. She slowly started a melody on the piano.
I'm jealous of the rain
That falls upon your skin
It's closer than my hands have been
I'm jealous of the rain
I'm jealous of the wind
That ripples through your clothes
It's closer than your shadow
Oh. I'm jealous of the wind,
"I Promise to make all your dreams come true." Rachel said
'Cause I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always though you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say. I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me
"You need to do this Rachel! It's the only way if you want to be happy!" Finn said
I'm jealous of the nights
That I don't spend with you
I'm wondering who you lay next to
"She's with Biff now. I heard they're getting married" Puck said
Oh. I'm jealous of the nights
I'm jealous of the love
Love that was in here
"I love you Rachel. Hold on to that" Quinn said
Gone for someone else to share
Oh. I'm jealous of the love
'Cause I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me
"You can't just go to the church and fight for her! That's insane" Santana yelled
As I sink in the sand
Watch you slip through my hands
"She called me to plan her wedding. She's getting everything she wanted….with someone else Rachel" Kurt said
Oh, as I die here another day, yeah
'Cause all I do is cry behind this smile
"She deserves to be happy. You deserve to be happy." Sam said
I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me
"I'm sorry I couldn't make your dreams come true." Rachel said
I-I-It's hard for me to say, I"m jealous of the way
You're happy without me.
Rachel couldn't stop the tears from falling down her face. She crossed her arms and laid them down on top of the piano with her head on top of them. She didn't notice Santana standing by the door, ready to step inside, but Finn stopped her.
"Go get ready for tonight San." Finn whispered
Santana stared at him. "Just go San. I'll make sure she's okay." Santana took one last look at Rachel and left.
Finn walked into the room and sat down next to Rachel startling her a little. "What are you doing here Finn?" Rachel said wiping her tears.
"Just in the neighborhood, wanted to see my favorite girl." Finn said smiling
"I don't think Harmony would appreciate to hear that. She'll probably poison my coffee or something."
"I think she'll do that because you drive her mad."
Rachel chuckled. "I think I'm driving everyone mad right now"
"No one expects you to be any close to sane right now."
"I just wish you guys would leave me alone for a moment."
"You should know by now that that's not going to happen. I'm sorry for what your going through right now. Most of all I'm sorry for convincing you to go to that church." Finn said looking down
"What are you talking about?" Rachel looked at him confused
"I'm the one that told you about where she was getting married. I thought she would just jump into your arms. I didn't think she would…."
"She would what Finn?"
"That she would break you. Your unbreakable Rach."
"Do you ever feel like our whole lives, have been planned out for us?"
Finn looked at her weirdly. "That's pretty dark don't you think?"
"It's like we're living by a book and what every new line we try to add just doesn't fit. Let's be honest Finn, Quinn wasn't even suppose to be near my book. She just happened to fall my way. Maybe I loved to much."
"You loved her just enough, Quinn loved you don't doubt that Rach. But she's always going to care what her father thinks of her. If he knew what happened between the two of you…."
"That's it!" Rachel said jumping out of her sit.
"What's it?"
"Her father found out, that's why she couldn't commit. That's why she married so soon to Biff! God why didn't I think of this!? I have to find her and apologize!"
"Wait, wait! Stop! Rachel!." Finn said grabbing her by her suit jacket.
"Watch the suit! God its expensive!"
Finn rolled his eyes. "You need to calm down okay. You need to take a second and think about this, running to Quinn and declaring your undying love for her isn't the way. She's married now, things have to be different. You go and get ready for the Gala, I'll see if I can find anything out."
Rachel looked at him and nodded. She walked out of the room and left for her apartment.
She's didn't even wanted to go to this stupid Gala her father organized, she hated socializing with her father's business partners. They treated her as if she's exactly like him. Her daddy would save her from situations like this, but he wasn't in town and that meant she would somewhat be alone. She was wearing her best suit, her father would yell at her if she didn't dress nice. She hated wearing dresses it made her feel uncomfortable in all the wrong place. Her not so little friend didn't approve of dresses. She loved her suits, it gave her a sense of security and of power. Kurt always had the best suits ready for her, without him she would probably mismatch everything. She was standing in front of the mirror fixing her bow-tie
"I don't even know why I have to wear this stupid tie!" Rachel said struggling to tie her tie.
"Because it looks so hot on you." Quinn said standing in front of Rachel taking the tie in her hands and fixing.
"But you know I look super hot in my bow-ties. Correction you look super hot in that dress." Rachel said connecting her lips with Quinn. "Watermelon, my favorite"
"Ruin my makeup and I'll kill you," Quinn said taping Rachel's nose.
"Tell me again why we can't arrive together to this party?"
"Because… we just can't."
"Sucks I can't show off my beautiful girlfriend to all those people."
"All those people are your dad and my dads business partners."
Rachel scrunch her face in disgust. "Right never mind, I rather keep you all to myself." Rachel kissed Quinn again. "I love you."
"I love you too." Quinn said rubbing her thumb on Rachel's bottom lip.
"Save me a dance?"
"Always." Quinn said
"Rachel?" Rachel turned around to see Kurt standing at her bedroom door "Oh good your actually ready."
"Um, yeah. Love the suit by the way." Rachel said looking at herself in the mirror.
"Are you ready to go?" Kurt said helping her put her suit jacket on and making sure no strand of her hair were sticking out of her pony tail.
"Thought Santana would be my date?"
"She sent me instead now lets go before she actually comes and drags us out by our ears."
The limo ride to the event was quite, Rachel kept staring out the window lost in thought. Kurt kept glancing at Rachel to see if she was okay.
"Could you stop looking at me? I'm not going to jump out of this moving car, I value this suit to much."
"I'm not staring at you."
"If I make money by how many times you've looked at me, I could probably buy my own jet."
"You already have one." Kurt said rolling his eyes.
"Where's Blaine btw?"
"He's probably already there, ripping his hair out because you aren't. Rachel I.."
"Please don't I'll behave." Rachel said getting out of the limo.
As she stepped into the building she was greeted by most of her dads friends, well business friend, Rachel didn't take the time to learn their name. God, she needed alcohol just to make it through the night. She picked up a champagne glass as she walked to the dining hall.
"There you are. Thought you was going to bail on me." Santana said walking up to her. She was wearing a tight black dress that showed of her curves and right enough of cleavage.
"Well don't you look beautiful Satan."
"You just got here and already drowning yourself in drinks."
"It keeps me calm, lots of people make me nervous."
"Now that's not true."
"Jewbabe! Your here. Love the suit!" Puck said wrapping his arms around her.
"Please don't ruin it." Rachel said throwing his arm off.
"I need to talk to you like right now Rach. Alone."
"Whatever you have to say to Berry you can say to me peabrain."
"Can't it wait a few minutes until I have scotch in my system." Rachel said motioning for the bartender to get her one.
"Actually no. Look, its about this contract. I don't know if you want to keep doing business with them."
"Why wouldn't we?" Rachel said drinking her drink
"Because its Biff…."
"What are they doing here?" Rachel said staring at the two figures at the door behind Santana.
Puck and Santana turned around. "I told her not to come." Santana whispered.
"You knew she was coming?" Rachel said
"She might have mentioned it when she called me."
"Wait you've been talking to her?"
"Rachel this is important, the deadline is Tuesday." Puck said
"Yes Puck we'll keep doing business with his company."
"Wait no!" Puck and Santana said. "Your suppose to say no Rachel what the hell?" Puck said
"Then why the hell did you ask me?"
"Yeah Puck why the hell did you ask her?" Santana said pinching his arm
"Because your dad asked me too. He's a scary man Rachel."
"Wait my father asked you?" Rachel said confused "Of course he did, he must have know something was going on between Quinn and I."
"Rachel what are you saying?" Santana said
"My father is always the reason I can't be happy. Should have know." Rachel said drinking the rest of her drink. "We'll keep doing business with Biff, rope him into any opportunity we have, then we'll pull back."
"Pull back? That will destroy a share of his company."
"Exactly Puck."
"Rachel that's crazy! You can't do that."
"Watch me." Rachel said pushing through the both of them and walking towards Quinn and Biff.
"Rachel!" Biff said leaping to hug her.
"Biff! How are you?"
"Great. I'm sorry I missed you at my wedding yesterday."
"That's right. I'm sorry I couldn't make it. Father had me far away on business you know how he gets."
"Right of course."
"But theres always the renewal of the vows right? Wouldn't miss that right Quinn?"
"Right." Quinn said with a fake smile.
"I think I see him right now. I'll go say Hi." Biff said walking away
"Great arm candy he makes." Rachel said "Why are you two even here? Thought you would be on your honeymoon somewhere in Antartica."
"Bora Bora actually. You know Biff and business, he never passes up an opportunity."
"Right of course. You've always liked them with a lot of money."
"Don't be mean now Rachel."
"When were you going to tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
Rachel grabbed Quinn's arm and dragged her into the hall.
"Unhand me Rachel!"
"When were you going to tell me that daddy old dear found out about us?"
"I don't know what your talking!"
"Yes you do! Your dad found out about us and he threatened you thats why you married Biff for safety."
Quinn looked down. "You don't have to be scared Quinn. I told you I was going to protect you through anything."
"You couldn't have protected me from him and you know it. He's to powerful Rachel."
"So am I Quinn."
"I can't lose him Rachel. He's my dad. My mom and I need him."
"I need you."
"I'm sorry Rachel."
"Finn's right. Your always going to worry about what your father thinks of you. I thought that all changed when we moved here."
"Rachel that's not fair you don't understand."
"You deserve to be happy Quinn, but so do I. Smile Quinn, smile for the photographers we wouldn't want them to see the real you." Rachel said walking away.
Rachel walked back into the dining hall, but she was stopped by her father.
"There you are. I've been looking for everywhere for you."
"Hello Father."
"I saw you speaking to Quinn. Good things I hope right." Hiram said staring into the crowd
"Of course you know us." Rachel said picking a champagne glass from another waiter "Now tell me father did you tell him or did he tell you?"
"You do forget that we know everything Rachel, how long did you expect to hide this?"
"As long as I had to. I couldn't have you so disappointed in me."
"Why do you think I do all this, huh? This party is for you, okay? So you can meet people, you know, become a part of something make some kind of change."
"Really? I thought it was another excuse for an open bar."
"Do me favor will you, lay off the scotch. You reek of it.."
"For your information father I am apart of something."
"Be glad your father isn't here to see you like this."
"Lucky him." Rachel whispered.
"You could have had any girl in this dam world and you choose his daughter." Hiram said walking away from Rachel.
"What did he say to you?" Santana said stepping next to her
"The usually, I've done such great work that he loves me so much and he's so proud of me." Rachel said sarcastically
"Rachel… don't let him get to you. Your so much better then him."
"Don't you see. I'm exactly like him."
Santana turns to face her "Don't you ever say that okay."
Rachel just turned to face Santana. "Dance with me?"
Rachel lead Santana to the dance floor, she placed her hand on her waist and Santana wrapped her arms around Rachel's neck.
Somebody said you got a new friend
Does she love you better than I can?
There's a big black sky over my town
I know where you're at, I bet she's around
Rachel looked up to see Quinn looking right at her.
Yeah, I know it's stupid
I just gotta see it for myself
She watched as Biff whispered something into her ear.
I'm in the corner, watching you kiss him, o oohh
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, o oohh
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooo
I keep dancing on my own
Quinn leans in to kiss Biff and a few flash photos occur.
I'm just wanna dance all night
I'm all messed up, I'm so out of line
Stilettos and broken bottles
She couldn't stand watching her anymore, she steps back and Santana looks at her weirdly. "I'm sorry San." Rachel said dropping her hands from Santana's waist. She turned and walked away.
I'm spinning around in circles
I'm in the corner, watching you kiss him, o oohh
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, o oohh
Rachel made it outside and into her limo. "Harold please take me to the hotel." Rachel said. Before the limo moved the door swung open and Santana entered.
"What are you doing?" Rachel asked
"I'm not leaving you alone okay."
"I don't need anyone right now. I just want to go home."
"No! I don't care you need someone right. Someone that will pull you back if go to much on the alcohol. You need me."
"Why do you help me, even when I don't deserve it. "
"You do deserve it, you deserve so much more." Santana said pushing Rachel's bangs out of her eyes.
"You shouldn't like me very much, I push away the people I love."
"I like you just the way you are." Santana said "The worst thing you've ever done, the darkest thought you've ever had, I will stand by you through anything."
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooo
I keep dancing on my own
And oh no
So far away but still so near
The lights come up, the music dies
But you don't see me standing here
I just came to say goodbye
Rachel leaned in to kiss Santana, their lips connected. It started off slow and steady, then Santana grabbed Rachel's suit collar to deepen the kiss. Rachel placed her hand on Santana's cheek and started kissing her neck. Santana started pulling off Rachel's suit jacket when the limo came to a full stop.
"Miss Berry we are hear." Harold said from the front seat.
They both stopped when they heard the voice and pulled away. They sat there staring at each other for a moment. Santana collected her things and flew out the door before Rachel had any time to react.
I'm in the corner, watching you kiss him, o oohh
and I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooo
I keep dancing on my own
Rachel sat there stun at to what just happened. "I think you should go after her Miss Berry." Rachel turned to the front to see Harold staring at her through the rear mirror.
Rachel fixed herself and exited the limo. She was trying to piece how every time escalated so quickly. One minute she was talking to Santana and the other she was making out with Santana. Santana's lips were so soft and delicious. She lifted her hand to her lips that were still tingling.
And oh no
I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh no
and I'm right over here, why can't you see me, oh no
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooo
I keep dancing on my own
The elevator dinged, altering Rachel that she had arrived on Santana's floor. She took a deep breath and walked to Santana's door. She didn't knocked, she used her emergency total key. She knew Santana wouldn't open the door for her. She entered and saw Santana standing in the living room. Santana turned around and she had tears in her eyes.
So far away, but still so near
The lights come up, the music dies
But you don't see me standing here
"Why are you crying?" Rachel said stepping closer to her.
"Because you weren't suppose to kiss you." Santana said
"But I did."
"And I wasn't suppose to like it." Santana whispered
"But I did." Rachel said causing Santana to look up to her.
Rachel stepped closer to Santana placing her hand on her cheek. Santana leaned into the touch. "Rachel…"
Rachel placed her forehead on Santana's and just looked at her. Santana closed the gap between them and connected her lips with Rachel. Just like in the limo, it started off slow and steady as Santana pulled Rachel's suit jacket off. She pull of her bow tie as Santana working on her buttoned shirt. Santana got frustrated and pulled away from the kiss, Rachel just looked at her. Santana ripped Rachel's shirt open, causing all the buttons to fall on to the floor.
Connecting their lips again Rachel reached behind Santana and slowly unzipped her dress. Rachel watched and the dress fell off leaving Santana in her bra and panties. Rachel was memorized running her hands down Santana's side, causing her to shiver. She took off her tank top and kissed Santana again, lifting her up by the back of her thighs. Santana wrapped her arms around Rachel's neck. Rachel made it to the bed room without bumping into anything, she gentle laid Santana on the bed and climb on to of her.
Rachel started kissing her neck and rubbing her breast over her bra causing Santana to moan to the touch. Santana took off Rachel's pants. Rachel slowly kissed her down her stomach towards her center.
"God I can smell you." Rachel whispered causing Santana to pull her back up and kissing her. Santana shoved her hands into Rachel's briefs grabbing her member in her hands, causing Rachel to moan loudly.
"I need you Rach. Inside of me." Santana moaned out
Rachel leaned up ready to pulled of Santana's panties when suddenly the bedroom doors were open revealing Kurt and Finn standing there shocked. Rachel was to frozen to even move, Santana moved Rachel to the side so she could grab the blanket to cover them.
"Don't you guys know how to knock! Why are you even here?" Santana yelled
"Wow I really didn't see this coming!" Finn said "I really thought it would be Tina. Oh shit!" Finn yelled catching a fainting Kurt.
"Fuck me" Rachel whispered
"Maybe next time." Santana whispered.