CHAPTER 8

Unfortunately, when things came into focus, they were still in the school. They were in the middle of the hallway surrounded by students going to and from class. Their classmates, unable to see them, kept walking right through them. Lydia shivered every time, feeling slightly violated and backed into the lockers to get away from the swarm of people trying to walk through her. She looked over at Scott. "I never realized how much happens in this school."

"Yeah tell me about it, I was hoping this memory would be anywhere but here. But we did learn something new."

"We can leave the memories. Go through them faster, and find Stiles." Lydia said, nodding.

She looked over to the only two people not walking in the hall. One of them was Stiles. Her eyebrows involuntarily raised when she realized the other was herself. She saw what Scott had meant at the party about seeing yourself technically for the first time. People only see themselves through mirrors and picture, but no one really saw themselves from the outside. It was interesting. She couldn't help wishing she could see herself like this more often to get an outside perspective on if her hair was on point. They were standing in the middle of the hallway, and Stiles was putting his phone back in his pocket with shaking hands. Shit. She recognized what was happening.

"There's still time." She was saying. "We still have time right?"

"Stiles?" Scott asked from besides her, and started moving towards him. He put a hand on his shoulder, but it went right through. Stiles was breathing really heavy and looked unsteady on his feet. He started turning in a circle as if trying to get his bearings.

"What is it? What's wrong?" other Lydia asked, growing more and more concerned. "Stiles." She said forcibly, and he turned to look at her.

"I think I'm having a panic attack." He said.

Scott glanced at Lydia, worry clear on his face. "When did this happen? I mean I can guess when this happened but like, how did you break him out of his panic attack? He never told me about it but I've only seen him get one once. It was intense." Lydia and Stiles were moving quickly down the hall towards the boys locker room.

Lydia averted her eyes. "Oh I don't know I used some technique I read about once." She said, waving her hand in the air like it was just an old thing she knew. She looked away from Scott and down the hall, trying to keep her cheeks from burning and failing miserably. Scott looked at her in confusion, but seemed to brush it off as he made his way down the hall, following after Stiles and Lydia. "Scott wait!" she said as her younger self and Stiles turned the corner where the locker room was located. "Scott you already tested Stiles. It's not the real him. We should just go. If we get away from Stiles, the memory will fade and bring us to the next one. Every one we see brings us closer right?" she said anxiously. She knew what happened next and if Stiles never told Scott she certainly didn't want to.

"I know, I know. And I know this is just a memory but last time he had a panic attack… it scared me. I just want to be there until he comes out of it." Lydia looked like she wanted to argue but he cut her off before she could. "Lydia I know it doesn't make sense okay? I know this happened already. It'll just take a second." He ran the rest of the way before Lydia could stop him. All she wanted to do was run in embarrassment in the opposite direction but found herself rolling her eyes and following after Scott. It wasn't like she did anything wrong, and there was nothing to be embarrassed about. It was just a kiss. She trudged into the boys locker room and followed the sound of her own voice. She found Scott kneeling next to his best friend, concern on his face.

That's where she drew the line. If he was going to see what happened in this memory, she would not have him inches away from their faces. Because this wasn't already awkward enough. She grabbed the back of his hoodie and dragged him backwards. Taken by surprise, he nearly toppled over backwards and repeatedly almost lost his footing as he was forced into standing position. "Lydia what the hell?!" he yelled once the pressure was off of his windpipe.

"You really don't need to be that close Scott." She glanced up to see herself kneeling next to Stiles, who was wheezing on his knees, holding his chest as he continued to have trouble breathing. Scott shot her a glare before looking back at his best friend. He stood off to Lydias side rubbing his neck where she had practically choked him, but she noticed he didn't move closer again.

"Good things!" Her younger self was saying. "uhh friends, family!" Stiles looked at her like she was crazy, sending an obvious message that she was not helping. Her face scrunched up as she realized her mistake. "Uh I mean, not family, oh God. Okay just, try to slow your breathing." Lydia could see Scotts hands twitching, wanting to move, do something, anything. She was trying to look anywhere but the scene in front of them, but her eyes seemed to be drawn there.

"I can- I can't." Stiles whispered, wheezing getting more and more shallow as he tried to breathe.

Younger Lydia grabbed his face in her hands. "Stiles look at me. Shhhh. Look at me. Shhh Stiles." She soothed. And then she was kissing him, mouth pressed hard against his in desperation. His eyes were wide in shock before he gave in and kissed her back. Present Lydia glanced at Scott, who had went from worried to shocked. His mouth dropped, but the corners were pointed up in a shocked smile, as he slowly turned to Lydia. "Whaaaat?" he whispered, staring at her with glee in his eyes. She knew she wouldn't hear the end of this for a while. She cleared her throat uncomfortably but looked him square in the eyes, determined not to back down. Behind him, younger Lydia broke the kiss and backed away, her eyes still closed as Stiles searched her face in confusion. He tested his breathing, realizing he could breathe normally again, his adrenaline from the panic attack having stopped.

"How'd you do that?" Stiles asked Lydia, their faces still amazingly close.

"I uh, I read once that holding your breath can stop a panic attack? So.. when I kissed you.. you held your breath." She said softly.

Stiles nodded "I did?" he asked.

"Yeah. You did." She whispered. The two sat there for a second, gathering their bearings.

"Thanks." Stiles said after a pause. "That was really smart." They backed away from each other and sat down in more comfortable positions. Present Scott was looking between current and past Lydia, mouth still gaping. The locker room started to fade.

"I just, I don't know I just read it somewhere." She said, trying to diffuse the awkwardness. Scott was still staring at Lydia, and looked like he was about to say something, but with their surroundings blackening, Lydia grabbed Scotts hand to avoid getting separated.

...

They were still in the school. When seeing they were in yet another classroom, Lydia screamed in frustration. She was so sick of seeing Stiles hurt in this school. So sick of seeing these white walls. She didn't care if they went through these memories, but she was starting to feel claustrophobic, like they were trapped in these damn classrooms.

Just then Stiles and a younger Scott burst into the classroom. Scott appeared to be struggling to control himself. "No, get back I don't know what's going to happen." Lydia was interested in what was happening, but when she looked over at Scott with the question in her eyes, she found him looking at her in amusement. He was completely ignoring what was happening around him, which had to be hard because his younger self was not exactly being quiet.

Lydia rolled her eyes. "What?"

"Nothing, just- you kissed him. I'm just a bit taken aback. There were other ways to break him out of his panic attack. Like, I don't know, just telling him to hold his breath?" he said, laughter in his voice.

"Oh shut up Scott. I also needed him to stop thinking about his breathing; he was freaking himself out more when he was concentrating on it. He was scaring me and I was just trying to make his attack stop." Lydia reached out a hand and tested Stiles. Nothing. She turned her gaze back to Scott.

"Are you sure it wasn't more than that? You seemed to enjoy it just a bit and were pretty awkward afterwards." Scott said, raising an eyebrow. Lydia was momentarily distracted as the Scott nearby drug his claws into his hands, screaming as he drew blood. She winced at the sight, and present Scott stepped in front of his older self, forcing Lydia to look at him again.

"No Scott, it wasn't more than that, I was helping! And of course I was a little awkward after that, we're just friends and I kissed him." She said, feeling embarrassed to be having this conversation. Scott looked at her with skepticism but just said "Alright" And turned his head towards the scene in front of him. Past Scott had gotten himself control through stabbing his hands with his claws. Blood littered the floor and he was breathing hard, but he was in control of himself again.

"This isn't just in our heads. This is real. It's starting to get bad for me too." Stiles was saying, looking away from Scott and down at the floor. "I'm not just having dreams I'm having nightmares where I literally have to scream myself awake. And sometimes I'm not even sure if I'm ever actually waking up." Stiles was looking up at Scott again, but kept momentarily averting his eyes as if embarrassed to be admitting how bad it was getting for him.

"What do you mean?" Past Scott asked.

"You know how you tell if you're dreaming?" Stiles asked, an expression crossing his face that Lydia couldn't quite make out. "You can't read in dreams. More and more last few days I've been having trouble reading. It's like I can't see the words, I can't put the letters in order."

"Like even now?" Younger Scott asked, concern in his face. Stiles slowly stood up and looked around the room. Lydia and Scott looked around with him, and noticed that all of the posters and books had words where the letters were out of order. They had English in this class and knew what the posters actually read, but now the words were unrecognizable, and still managed to look like they were real, like they were printed that way. Scott grabbed her arm from beside her and nodded at the board. The writing was unreadable. It was clearly written to display a message, but it was alien to all three of them, jumbled to incomprehension.

"I can't read a thing." Stiles said, and Lydia realized what she had seen in Stiles' face before. Fear. He was hiding it well, but a fraction was displayed on his face.

Lydia looked over at Scott. "Did you know it was this bad?"

"There was no way to know how bad this got; to me it was all in order. I just knew it wasn't to him." He kept reminding himself that Stiles was fine now. It was over.

"Scott, have you noticed something?" Lydia asked. Scott looked over at her. "These memories. They're getting slightly less intense. Maybe that means were getting through the memories. That Stiles is close. There's no guarantee but, it's possible right? How much could Stiles have gone through?" Scott didn't answer.

"Come on, let's go." Scott said, but before they could leave, the classroom was dimming, and Scott grabbed Lydias arm. "Here's to hoping we get out of this damn school this time." Lydia laughed, and the school disappeared.