A/N: The first time I heard "Mountains and Molehills" by Flash Pan Hunter, I thought it perfectly captured the melancholy of Bowser struggling against ever increasing hardships (like giant battles against mountains) and gradually losing his minions to Fawful (including his moles). I wanted to share this lovely little song, but when I sat down to convert the lyrics, I realized that it worked better when it wasn't just Bowser talking, but also Starlow – the other half of the strained symbiosis that M&L3 is built upon. I wrote the words with the headcanon of my novelization of the game, Mario and Luigi and Bower, in mind, but you don't need to have read it to follow the song, although a couple lines will (hopefully) mean more if you did. (For example, while most of the song's them addressing each other, the break's back to the original concept of Bowser railing at his minions (of which, he considers Starlow one) while Starlow's thinking mainly of certain figures who betrayed her in the novelization…)

Mountains and Monty Molehills

Starlow: Well I fell through the deep vacuum forces
Too strong – I can't get out
It looks like I'm stuck in the darkness
And it won't let me out
If you'd just share your fire
I won't need to drain my life
Saving all our skins, my horrid, stinking host

But you stand and shrug your shoulders
Laugh as my life gets colder
Shouting about mountains and molehills
And mountains

Bowser: Minions're hopeless, fighting flameless
Castles fall – games will end
And I'm just treading water
Dead in the water
If you'd start cooperating
I might just stop from losing
Might just stop the pig from swallowing me up

You laugh and mock your leader
As memories get clearer
Shouting about mountains and molehills
And mountains

Both: Ohh don't turn your back on me
Ohh not now
Ohh don't turn your back on me
Ohh not now
Ohh not now

Starlow: You might be right but I can't just end this
Sorry connect–
Bowser: I got these
Things inside my head
Makes me think of nothing else
Starlow: Oh but I want to get you help now
Bowser: I promise I won't be defeated
Both: If you'd just loan your strength and pull me from this hole

Don't just turn your back now
Remember all the times we fought about
Mountains and molehills
And mountains and molehills
And mountains and molehills