A/N: It occurred to me that the song "Lola" by The Kinks kinda fits Birdo perfectly, and while I like to think of the character in the song as eventually giving in and being open-minded about it all (the ending's ambiguous), I thought it'd be funnier being sung by an irate Popple instead of the accepting Yoshi. Also, while I usually try to match syllables with these song conversions, there's a number of parts here where words glide a bit ("after my Birdo" instead of "for my Lola"), which can look weird at first but works (I think) given the natural tendency of the song to do that sorta thing anyway.
Birdo
I met her deep down in the Chucklehuck Woods
Where you pick the fruit to brew up the Chuckola-Cola
C-O-L-A cola
She walked up to me and she said I was cute
I asked her her name and in a honking voice she said Birdo
B-I-R-D-O Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo
Well I'm just the land's most shadowy thief
But this dumb new Rookie's really giving me grief
Oh my Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo
Well I'm real smart but I can't understand
Why she looks like a woman when I heard she's a man
Oh my Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo
Well we drank Syrup and thieved all night
Cow eyes shining in moonlight
She picked me up, she kept saying to me
No I hired you, see? Ya stupid Rookie
Well I'm just the world's most infamous thief
But this was a mistake is now my belief about Birdo
Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo
Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo
I started to shout
I flew through the door
I fell to the floor
I'd been blown through the wall
Then I glared at her and she at me
Solo's the way that I want me to stay
Don't want no Rookies anymore anyway after my Birdo
Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo
Plants will be folks and boys will be girls
It's an anthropomorphized, liberal world, especially Birdo
Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo
Well I'd lost me one Rookie before
And with Birdo didn't know what was in store
But now I know better: need no one on-hand
To be the best Shadow Thief in all of the land
Well I am the world's most dangerous man
Yes I know what I am and I'm nobody's man
And neither's Birdo
Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo
Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo
Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo
Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo
Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo
Birdo Buh-buh-buh-buh-Birdo