A/N: I've loved "Pavlov's Bell" by Aimee Mann ever since I heard it featured in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but it wasn't until I looked up the lyrics and learned she was saying "Mario", not "Maria", that I realized it was a natural song to adapt. It could fit my idea of Peach and Mario's relationship really being empty, with the "save me" line and whatnot, but the "trading clothes" also reminded me of Luigi in M&L:SS, and then it occurred to me that the song fits him having a bit of an identity crisis on the way home after realizing he's bi for Peasley (and enjoys crossdressing), but sadly for him, Mario's not the best person to try and talk things through with at the best of times, much less a stumbling-out-of-the-closet situation… It's a great song so I barely had to rewrite anything. Hope you like it!
Peasley's Bell
Oh Mario, sit here by the window
Stay here 'till we reach the castle
And when we go
Hold my hand on take-off
Tell me what I already know
That we can't talk about it
No, we can't talk about it
Because nobody knows
That's how I nearly fell
Trading clothes
And ringing Peasley's Bell
History shows
There's not a chance in hell, but
Oh Mario, we're only at the border
It's kinda getting harder to breathe
I won't let it show
I'm all about denial
But can't denial let me believe
That we could talk about it
But we can't talk about it
Because nobody knows
That's how I nearly fell
Trading clothes
And ringing Peasley's Bell
History shows, but rarely shows it well
Well, well, well
Oh Mario, why if this is nothing
I'm finding it so hard to dismiss
If he's what I need
Then only you can save me
So come on brother, give me the fix
And let's just talk about it
I've got to talk about it
Because nobody knows
That's how I nearly fell
Trading clothes
And ringing Peasley's Bell
History shows
Like it was show and tell
So tell me
That's how I nearly fell
By ringing Peasley's Bell
So brother, show and tell
Oh Mario, Mario